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 Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 5:12 pm
Koya looked slightly surprised when the child spoke of not wanting to see any more death. Did that mean she had seen death already before? That was so much for anyone, let alone a cub! When Rokopelli darted between her legs, the silver goddess automatically stood over her protectively, her wings folding and brushing the small goddess. Rokopelli might have interpreted it one way, but really Koya was doing that as if to make up for whatever death had been witnessed.
"No, death is bad," she whispered. It was one of the reasons she regretted starting a mortal family. She would live long after they were all dead and gone, then what would she have?
"A snake, hm," she spoke, pondering over this. She knew very well these creatures called snakes, but never had she heard of one being a friend of a lion, mortal or immortal. "No, he's not here. I was merely curious as to who it was," she explained.
When told that Nyoka was mean, she narrowed her eyes slightly. "Mean? That doesn't sound like a good friend if he was mean to you.." she spoke, trailing off. Of course, friends often fought sometimes over petty things. Perhaps it had just been a mere spat between the two, and nothing serious? She hoped so. Any friend was good to have. Being alone was the worst thing in the world.
"You are here, now what will you do?" she asked. Hopefully Rokopelli would be careful and safe. A cub was easy prey for any, even an immortal one at times.
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 12:09 am
She nodded sadly and her eyes brimmed dangerously with tears. The only thing that kept them at bay was the comforting circle of Koya's wings. Maybe mother had been right in punishing her after all, it had brought out the voice in her head after all and with that voice she was never lonely.
"Yes, yes Nyoka is always mean to us. We think he's annoyed because he woke us up in the desert. Now he's stuck travelling with us and he doesn't like it. He wants to go back to the jungle, he said we were stupid and that we've ruined his life." She raised her head to glance into Koya's kind, motherly face. "But I didn't mean to, mu--Koya!" Then she fell silent and reared up on her hindquarters, her mis-matched eyes glowing slightly.
"We don't know what to do! We no good for anything!" She squeaked almost fearfully. "We may as well be mortal!" And it was true, the only times she had ever used her powers had been in play and even then it was a rare thing. "Sometimes we want to cut our wings and go live with normal lions." But that was impossible...wasn't it?
Would it hurt if she cut them?
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 6:33 am
The silver goddess frowned angrily as it was explained to her just how mean this Nyoka was. Normally, she wasn't a very angry or aggressive lioness, but if someone was endangering a cub or being mean to one, then that was when her anger flared up. Cubs deserved the best treatment, and whoever was low enough to insult a cub didn't deserve to have the friendship of that cub.
But she spoke none of this out loud. Merely, she let the emotions rage inside of her until they settled down and finally faded.
"No, no," she soothed, rumbling low and curling more protectively around Rokopelli. "You couldn't have meant to do that." It was unheard of by Koya. To her, children were innocent and naive, unknowing to the evils of the world. It was old fashioned and perhaps naive of herself, but that was what she believed in.
"Maybe you should--" The goddess was about to suggest that Rokopelli find a new friend, since it didn't seem Nyoka would hang on to her very long if he was treating her that way. But she was cut off when the cub said that she might as well be mortal and cut off her wings. This brought a very frightened look to the older female's face.
"Rokopelli... no, no. You should not think things like that." Her wings fluttered and twitched, refusing to settle. It was obvious that the idea disturbed her greatly, and she wondered where the cub had gotten such an idea.
"Trust me, Rokopelli," she spoke, though her voice was shaking, "you do not want to do that. Being mortal is.. it's not fun."
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 12:19 am
Rokopelli had only known people being stern with her. She had never known her father and her mother had treated her as if she was some sort of possession to be ruled. Insults were not rare to Roko's ears and as far as she was concerned she would always be spoken to in that way. That was why she felt so comforted by Koya's kindness. It was something she had never really experienced before and she liked it. She wanted to feel safe more often, to feel loved. Not just lost and all alone.
"But now Nyoka won't talk to us and he was the only friend we ever had." She sniffed. It was true that Nyoka ha finally up and left but she had grown ttached to the serpent and missed him dearly. Winding him up had proved great fun and tricking him was definately entertaining. With him she had been able to practise her powers and that was something rare.
Her ears perked up at Koya's unfinished question and for a moment she looked like she was going to ask her to finish it, but decided against it. She really didn't want to annoy the Goddess after all.
"How do you know it's not fun being a mortal Koya?" The Godling asked curiously. "If we didn't have wings we could be normal. Then we could make lots of friends and not have to worry about our powers getting in the way to ruin everything." She shivered as she thought to her friends in the past, to the friends that had long been dead.
"We don't want to be a Goddess anymore..."
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 6:36 am
Koya instantly felt bad for having thought that Nyoka was a bad friend. He might have been mean to Rokopelli, yes, but a friend was a friend to a cub. She had forgotten that, since it had been too long since she had been that young. Uncountable years...
"I'm sorry dear..." she spoke softly, saying sorry both to make up for what she had said and also to make up for Rokopelli's loss, though she knew words were not enough. "Perhaps you should go to him and apologize. If he really is your friend, he will understand and forgive you." Or would he? Snakes were different from lions completely, and there were some who were cold and unforgiving. She hoped things would get better for Rokopelli, whatever would happen.
When asked how she knew it wasn't fun to be a mortal, she had a hard time formulating an answer. Would the simple fact that she had pretended to be a mortal serve as a good answer? She still had her powers and her wings, but she had virtually lived like any other mortal; she didn't use her powers, she hunted like any normal lion would, and she wandered just like a rogue, having no purpose and no aim.
"Well... I've sort of lived like one, you see. I still had my wings and my powers, but I never used them. I tried to live like a mortal did." And basically failed miserably. It made her feel inferior for a little wihle, to not be able to live as they did. But then she thought that she wasn't built for that lifestyle, and so forgave herself.
"But maybe it was just me, thinking that mortal life isn't fun," she mused aloud. She frowned, finding herself becoming lost and confused. Different lions had different needs, so who was she to say that Rokopelli wouldn't like mortal life? "I'm sorry, dear," she apologized again. "Maybe you should give it a try. But don't try to give up your wings or your powers; I do not think they will ever be able to go away."
Nuzzling the cub, she rumbled low. "Why don't you want to be a goddess?" It was unthinkable to Koya. A goddess was born a goddess, and a goddess was what she was destined to be.
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 10:20 am
"You really think so?" She knew she shouldn't have got her hopes up, but she did like Nyoka very much. He was smooth and shiny and he made a nice accessory. She had an affinity for snakes, as her ornament bracelets and headdress suggested. Perhaps she and the snake were fated to be together even if they were very, very different. She smiled as she remembered Nyoka curled around her middle in flight, hissing angrily as she swept this way and that. He didn't like flying, which she thought awfully strange.
"You've lived as a mortal?" Her purple and orange eyes widened considerably and her whole body tensed as she listened to Koya's words. This Goddess had truly done what Roko wished she could do? "But...if we can't give up our wings or our powers then surely we'll never be a true mortal." She sniffed and slung her head low. "Will we be an outsider forever Koya?" There was a pleading tone to her voice, as if this silver goddess could answer all of her questions.
Then at the female's question Roko's eyes narrowed in thought. The black bangs of her strange hair fell forward over her red-ringed eyes and she gave a small huff. "Because..."
"Then we could be happy."
"But mother could killses us."
"Mother wouldn't do that. Would you mother?" Her head snapped up to observe Koya, realising then that she wasn't her mother. She shook her head irritably, wondering why on earth she kept doing that. "Stop it Pelli!" She yelled, realising that it was that voice in her head, making her think things that weren't true.
"It wasn't me!" It was clear now that her orange-eyed half was the side that wanted to hide from it all, to hide and curl up safely somewhere. The purple-eyed half was the part of her that craved revenge and power to stand up against her mother.
She was torn and it these conflicting emotions had brought about her two halves. It wasn't surprising that the poor cub had gone half mad from being trapped for so many years. Trapped and alone in the dark, hidden for all eternity until by chance, Nyoka had come along and freed her. Or had it been by chance? Nyoka had said there had been a guiding voice. Whose voice? ...Her own voice?
She remembered her powers and Pelli whispered in her ears.
"Don't be scared. Don't be scared." Pelli hissed teasingly and Roko gave a small cry, pressing her paws up to her ears.
"Koya! Koya! Tell it to go away!" She didn't want to use her powers again!
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 8:04 pm
The silver goddess nodded, but somewhat hesitantly. "You should at least try to fix things with him. If you don't, how will things ever possibly get better?" she spoke, giving advice both to the cub and to herself as well. There were a certain few she had to repair ties with, most particularly her family, mortal as they were. She needed to apologize to her daughter..
But she was a coward. She didn't think she would be able to maintain the courage to face her daughter, her flesh and blood that hadn't deserved anything Koya had done to her.
But, her problems were not the ones she was focusing on. It was Rokopelli she needed to keep her attention on.
"Well, I pretended to be mortal. I didn't use my wings or my powers, and I wandered around like a rogue mortal," she explained, hoping she was being clear. She wasn't so sure becoming a real mortal was actually possible for a god or goddess. "And I suppose we can't be truly mortal, if we are always in possession of these powers and wings. But we can hide them..." But then that would be lying.
She shook her head. The world was too complicated.
"No, I don't suppose you will be one forever. Perhaps you are just uncertain right now, uncertain of where you wish to be. Once you figure out what you want to be and you hold tight to that, I'm sure you will be an outsider no longer." She smiled and ran her rough tongue over the head and shoulders of Rokopelli.
When the 'argument' broke out between Rokopelli's two halves, the silver goddess balked somewhat. She was startled by this, and took a slight step backwards.
"Child! Tell what to go away? What is it?" It must have been something in her mind. She was talking to herself, saying one thing then automatically countering it in what seemed like another character, completely different. But she had no idea what it was or how to 'fix' it, and so she merely stood, dumbfounded.
"I do not understand... Rokopelli, I'm confused.."
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Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 5:23 am
And as quickly as it had come, it had gone and her distress seemed to ebb away. She shook her head and backed off a little, away from the comfort that Koya seemed able to give with ease. Now Koya was confused too, just as everyone else seemed to when they got near to her! And with that confusion often came fear, a fear that led to a hatred. Perhaps that was why her mother hated her so. But it wasn't her fault! She was a Goddess of Confusion and whilst her powers could be considered a blessing they were also a curse.
She had not yet mastered casting an illusion over herself as many other deities did so she had no choice but to show her wings. Her telepathy and telekenesis was so uncontrollable that she feared using that altogether. She just wanted it all to go away, so that maybe one day she could make a friend.
Atleast Nyoka hadn't disliked her mindspeak ability. In fact she had had great fun practising her abilities on him, reading his thoughts to try and see what he was thinking. She would never do it without permission, mind you, because the last time she had done so had brought death upon her friends...her followers.
"No Koya..." She whispered mournfully. "Everyone is scared of us. We're dangerous! You should go away now, go away from us before you hateses us!" She sniffed and pinned her wings tight to her sides. "We're going to hide here until the world ends."
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Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 3:52 pm
Koya looked at the younger goddess with great concern. She had pulled away and was shaking her head. If she had been able to know the child's fear, she would have assured her that she was not the one for hatred. She liked understanding and compromise better than flat out hatred. But she didn't know about Rokopelli's theory of others' confusion leading to hatred, and so she merely stood there, wondering at what was the matter.
She longed desperately to comfort Rokopelli and to convince her that everything would turn out for the better, but she had no idea how to go about doing so. The silver goddess wasn't going to force herself upon the other, and so when the smaller female backed away she did not press her.
"Rokopelli.." she said softly, a frown coming upon her features. The little goddess was so misunderstood. "I would never hate you. I'd find that completely impossible." She took a small step forward, hoping her soft and calming words would ease the cub's fears and allow Koya to grow close again.
"I'd think hiding here would be worse than living a life, dear. The end of the world is a long way off.. you'd be waiting an awful long time. What will you do? What will you eat? If you just stay here.. I'll worry about you."
She shook her head, remembering something. "You're dangerous, you say? Well, I've been with you for a little while now... I'm not hurt. You just need to face your fears and attempt to handle them. Running away will only make them stronger," she said, speaking from experience.
"Trust me."
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Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 5:32 am
"But...but..." Her little chest heaved as she tried to suppress her sadness and though she was comforted by Koya's words, the doubt still remained. The adult could say that now, but what if she did something that was beyond her control?
And as the silver Goddess continued, asking what she would do and how she should face her fears, the tears she had held back came spilling forth. She was a child still and though she was an immortal she still had the emotions of a youngster.
"Koya!" She blurted the Goddesses' name as if her heart would break. "But what if I r-read your mind? Dis-discovered your secret thoughts? Wh-wh-what if I invaded your pr-privacy?" Her eyes were wide and again the image of her past followers flashed in her mind. "What if I killed you?" She shuddered and lowered herself to the ground, creeping backwards, cowering all the while. "I d-don't want to hurt an-anyone. If I d-do, mum will come back. She'll h-hurt me! Or even worse...sh-she'll put me back in t-that prison...f-f-forever!"
She wanted to turn and flee but she was stuck there under Koya's watchful gaze. For though she wanted to run she had also found something else in this silvery one's heart. She wished suddenly that her mother had been kind and understanding, that she hadn't sealed away her daughter and left to go mad.
"It was an accident. It was an accident. It was an accident." She mumbled to herself. Again lost in the past, lost in the crime that she had commited so long ago when she had been very new to the world.
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Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 5:33 pm
Koya listened to the smaller female's frantic words, her eyes soft with affection and complete kindness. She didn't interrupt, because she figured that would just make things worse. It was better to let Rokopelli get everything out all at once, so that there were no lingering feelings sitting by unspoken. She would answer everything once the other was done.
She jumped slightly when her name was spoken fervently, but for the most part she remained incredibly impassive. Only after Rokopelli's ramblings were done did she dare to open her mouth.
"If you do all of that child, then I will forgive you," she said softly, a great contrast to the emotional words of the other goddess. "I may not know a lot about you, but what I do know is that you genuinely do not want to harm others. So if you happen to harm me, then I will easily forgive you. And if you do all of those other things... reading my mind, invading my privacy... I will not mind. It is part of who you are, and you were given those powers for a reason."
The silver female paused for a moment to consider the part of what would happen if Rokopelli killed her. "If you do kill me, dear, I will survive. We are immortals, are we not? I can be reincarnated." She hoped it would be as simple as that. She wasn't actually quite sure if she could be reborn after being killed by another goddess.
Seeing that the cub was clearly in distress, Koya moved forward quitely and slowly. She moved back to hover over Rokopelli, her wings spreading out calmly. "Our actions can be forgiven, Rokopelli. The past does not always have to haunt you. It is merely a matter of whether you let it or not. If you try, Rokopelli, just try... you can fix everything."
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 12:10 am
She sniffed, her tiny nose crinkling up as she stared into the face of the Goddess. There was such a kindness and warmth there in her expression that Rokopelli could not help but calm. The adult was of course right. She could not kill an immortal, that was the difference between them.
For her there would never be an end.
Somehow the thought of never entering that eternal rest scared her. What would happen when the world ended and she was still here? Would it hurt very much?
"But why would you forgive us Koya?" She whispered. "Even though...even though it was an accident mama put us in stone...she said we was bad and and...worthless. She told me us we couldn't return to life until we had control of our powers but..." The more she thought about it the more she realised that perhaps she had learned. She wasn't really using them after all.
She nodded vehemently at the female's words. "But how do we fix things? Mother is no longer around and we have powers we can't control. All we're good for is flying and confusing." She shook her beaded black hair from in front of her mis-matched eyes and spread out her small, pointed wings. Soon she would be grown, that much was obvious, but to Rokopelli a growth could not come too soon.
"At the moment we're small. No one listens to a cub...well almost no one."
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 10:58 am
Koya smiled down at the cub as she looked up, her wings curling delicately around the smaller figure.
"Why?" she repeated. "Why, because you deserve it, Rokopelli. You have done no intentional wrong, so why should you be punished? There are forces at work that sometimes not even the gods can control. No, I will not punish you if you cannot control them like the rest of us." Her smile widened and she lowered her head slightly to nuzzle into the female's face and neck.
"Your mother put you in stone?" she asked, surprised. That was no mother she ever heard of. "Don't you worry, Rokopelli. You just stay away from her. She fears you, that's all. She cannot understand you and so she tries to get rid of you. It is a shameful thing to do," she spoke, hoping that her harshly true words did not upset the cub too much. But the silver goddess felt it had to be said. Hiding from the truth did not make it any less real.
"She told you when you could live? My dear... she has no control over your life. Do not let her control you if she does not make you feel good. You live when you want, and simply try to start controlling your powers. If you cannot right away, relax and try again later." Hopefully it could be that simple.
Koya sighed tiredly, and she hoped that Rokopelli wouldn't think she was sighing in resignation towards her. "If that is truly all you are good for, work with that. My dear... life is not defined by one thing alone, nor is happiness. You can make things better for yourself. You just have to set your mind to it and just do it. Don't let anyone stop you."
She nuzzled the cub again, more for assurance than anything this time. "You will grow, I promise. It's just sometimes older lions do not believe anything younger than them because they feel they know everything. Ignore them. There are those that would gladly listen to you. It's all a matter of finding the right people and doing the right things.."
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 12:14 pm
She sniffed and she felt tears bubbling up in her eyes once more. This time, however, they were tears of happiness. She had never had this before, whatever this was. It felt wonderful and she never wanted it to go. She gave a low, humming purr and reached up to rub her head against Koya's chest. Warm and safe, yes it was a good feeling.
"M-mother didn't mean to hurt us. She just didn't want a baby." The cub tried desperately to defend her mother but even she had trouble. She feared and almost hated her mother, yet there was still that bond. "She wasn't ready for us to be born!" Then again she looked distant, struggling to comprehend the situation. "Do you think she did not love us, Koya? Is that why she...she..." The godling swallowed. "Why she was mean?" Her wings flapped almost agitatedly now. "She, she, she didn't mean to! She just didn't know how to be a mummy. She thought she was being good by punishing us, is all." Her eyes gleamed with innocence.
Then suddenly her conflicting thoughts came into play. "No, Koya is right, aren't you? Mother is in the past, we won't see her again so we can live and be happy." She nodded. "Maybe we can find a new mother and maybe a father and maybe if we're really lucky we can find some friends!" She bounced. "Do you think there are others who might want to be friends with us?"
She purred and reared back on her hind legs. "You listen Koya! You listen to us!"
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 12:41 pm
"Oh, shh. Rokopelli, shh, it's alright," she soothed, licking the top of the cub's head and all over her ears. It was obvious that the smaller female had somehow upset herself, talking about her mother like that. Koya understood. The bond between child and mother was incredible. There was such a sense of selfless love, and even when Rokopelli's mother had done all those horrible things to her, she still felt the need to defend her mother.
"Of course she didn't mean to hurt you. Don't you worry Rokopelli... she won't hurt you anymore. You're all right now," she whispered, cuddling the cub.
Nodding, she smiled again. "That's right. You can live a happy life, you can do anything you want to do. All you have to do is try."
Chuckling slightly, she rasped her tongue over Rokopelli's fur once more. "Of course, Rokopelli. You are going to have the most friends out of anyone, and they'll be the best in the world. You just wait and see.. things are going to get better." When she mentioned having a mother and a father, Koya blinked for a moment. A mother and a father... every cub deserved to have one of each looking out for them. But Rokopelli didn't, not now, and neither did the silver goddess' own child. She was a horrible mother...
Brought out of her thoughts by Rokopelli's words again, she smiled weakly. "Of course I listen, dear. You're worth listening to."
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