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 Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 9:38 pm
A sigh of relief passed through his lips as Alec reached for a towel, conventiently folded and stacked by the side of the pool. he threw it over himself and began scrubbing, not hard, but with enough force to remove any excess water that may drip down and rust up the wheels of his chair. As he patted the stray coloured hairs atop his head he watched her move, eyes half-hidden under the draped cloth. She looked absolutely horrible. the bouncing dog was distracting as he ran about the room, excited over the prospect of play. He never really liked dogs all too much but his heart went out to the poor thing every time Amaya gave him a half-hearted pat or less, much to the dog's dismay. Then again he knew he couldn't help the situation, seeing as Donner would hardly respond to himself as he did with Amaya.
He watched her drop the ball and waited, a sick feeling hitting the pit of his stomach. He wasn't expecting her to pick it up fast but the poor thing looked so hopeful...
"Awww looki' 'im." The boy cooed as he threw the towle over his head again, letting it fold and crumple over the ridges of his brows. "'e wans t'play ball 'Maya, give 'i a toss." His voice was encouraging and somewhat baiting. He didn't know why but he had the strongest anxiety-driven urge to march over and stuff the ball back into her palm.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 9:44 pm
Donner was quick to pick up the ball and nudge it back into Amaya's hand, this time waiting until she had a grip on it to let go. She held it there for a moment, twirling it around between her long clawed fingers. Her inhuman fingers. She gripped it for a moment as if angry, but didn't have enough energy for it.
Instead she gave the ball and pathetic little toss, sending it bouncing off the wall and rolling to a stop. Nevertheless Donner ran for it and chased it, snatching it into his jaws with his tail wagging. While he was occupied for now, Amaya turned her back to Alec wordlessly and pulled off her t-shirt.
She grabbed her white dress that lay crumpled and unwashed on the floor and pulled it on, her movements sluggish and lazy.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 9:59 pm
Alec narrowed his eyes, feeling a sharp pang of... guilt? Concern? ...Malice? He couldn't tell. It seemed she'd done what he'd asked just to make him stop talking. Did she not even care about her own dog now? He could deal with her coldness and lack of will to care for herself or anything else around her but her dog now too?
No. He couldn't deal with even that. He'd been denying it all this time but he knew the truth. Something about him was making her want to give up on life altogether but he couldn't understand why. Hadn't they been so happy once? Perhaps a long time ago? It seemed like memories were nonexistant now. All that was left was her and him and the room that surrounded them.
He wanted to say so many things. Barrade her with questions of why? Why was she killing herself on the inside while life went on on the outside? Why couldn't she be happy in their little house by the lake with their dog and their picket fence and eachother to live out their days?
He wanted to yell, shake her, plead some sense into her head. Life was not over, it could just begin if she allowed it to!
"Did ye eat... t'day?" The boy mumbled while all these thoughts plagued him, absentmindedly pulling his wheelchair over like he'd done countless times before. He could feel it now. Something was about to boil over one way or another, the only question was who would be the first to give and how violently would the volcano erupt.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:07 pm
Amaya pulled on her dress and smoothed it down pointlessly as Donner continued to wrestle with his tennis ball. She kept from facing him, knowing the same thing he did. The tone in his voice was the same it was when things were starting to boil, when the kettle was upset and steamed before it screeched.
But there was no point in lying. There were no dirty dishes lying around, no apple cores or leftovers. Just one nearly empty water bottle next to her.
"... I wasn't hungry." She answered honestly but hesitantly nonetheless. Her desire to eat what was asked of her had left with her will and desires. Her empty stomach didn't growl or protest - it was just hollow like the rest of her.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:19 pm
Alec frowned, not even bothering to cover it up with a fake expression. "Ye said tha' yestehday teh." He responded quickly though tried his best to curb the sharp tone of his voice. "A' d'n think ye've eat'n anehthing n' days! Thas no' good y'neh..." His voice trailed off and he couldn't help but feel as if he was talking to a brick wall. What a horrible feeling.
His jaw shut and he sat staring, watching with a glare of irritation and painful concern as she went about half-heartedly preparing to venture outside. When she answered with one of her trademark lengths of silence, he braced himself before hoisting his body into the wheelchair. Feeling a tinge of grumpiness, he let himself fall into the seat rather than lowering himself gingerly as usual. He opened his mouth to continue his thought but eventually let it shut again, not wanting to speak in anger.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:50 pm
"I just haven't been hungry is all." Amaya repeated again, finally turning around. She grabbed Donner leash from her bedpost and ushered the dog close to her before latching it onto his collar.
Her words were short and to the point, as if elaborating was too tiring and costly to be bothered with. They were also fake and soulless. Donner tugged in the leash to the door and jerked the girl's arm. Before she would have yelled at him and hung on to teach him a lesson, but instead she let go of the leash and let him run to the door while she followed on slowly and rubbed her arm.
She didn't bother to yell at him this time, picking up his leash again silently.
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Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 8:43 pm
Her mechanical responses were beginning to clearly bother him now, as though the countless days of similar treatment had never even occurred. Such utter carelessness for her own wellbeing, it hurt him mostly because he did care deeply for her. Her torture was beginning to bleed out and become his, even if just now was the moment he'd begun feeling that way. Alec let the towel fall to the floor and without thinking began to wheel towards the door as Donner sat scratching at the barrier between himself and the outside world. He was determined now to shake life into his friend - or at least make her admit what the real problem was.
The discarded towel became caught up in his spokes and the boy cursed as his mode of travel came to a halting stop. Looking up again, exasperated, the youngster continued to press on. "Ye sure? A' mean ye realleh beginnin' to look skinneh. Ye lookin' bad, 'Maya. Real bad!"
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Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 8:52 pm
Amaya gave a sick little laugh like a tiny puff of air had escaped her lungs and made her whole body give a little jerk. "I looked good before?" She asked sarcastically, jabbing painfully at her own loathsome appearance. "I just don't feel very hungry, okay?" She forced another hollow smile at him, but it was getting to the point where even Alec, despite how thick-headed he might have been, would be able to see right through it.
She reached for the doorknob with her free hand. Like opening the door would make all the problems rush out and force the boy to stop asking so many questions.
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Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 8:59 pm
Now seething with frustration from his momentary impairment coupled with her obvious indignancy towards his concern for her, the sharkboy decided he'd heard enough. Reaching down, he yanked the towel out from underneath him and threw it violently behind, uncaring that it happened to land in the water and was now swirling along its surface like a white spectre. With a firm grip on his wheelchair rims, the boy threw himself into motion, crossing the distance between them with much ease.
As the lizard girl pulled at the doorknob he reached out and grasped her scaley hand somewhat more forcibly than he had wanted to, as the door swung open and only came to a stop once it'd hit the wheel of his chair with a loud thud. "Of course ye did, why would ye say somethin' like tha?" His expression was knitted into a frown but his eyes told a different story, as large and marble-like as they were.
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Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 9:07 pm
Amaya was a little taken aback by the fast movements and the grasping of her hand. She jumped a little, as did her companion as he barked at the shark boy and hopped on his front legs. Thankfully his wheelchair had blocked him from a sharp n** that he otherwise would have gotten.
Her hand was tense as she looked at him... then relaxed and went limp in his. She frowned and looked down at the rims of his wheelchair just for something to look at.
How could he ask such a stupid question? He had never seen her as a human aside from pictures and she had never looked nice or attractive in all the time that he'd known her? How could he ask something like that!?
Her brow knit in anger but it only lasted a few seconds before she frowned and her expression fell into an almost unbearable sadness. "How couldn't I, Alec?" She finally made eye contact with him but was unable to cry anymore.
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Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 9:30 pm
"Because!" The boy responded almost childishly, brows furrowed still. It was all clear now that the seemingly life-long issue Amaya had been carrying around for the entire time he'd known her was still ever-present. What frustrated him the most was that he'd been trying -really trying- to help her get over it somehow. Clearly though, his attempts were not working.
He was struggling with what to say, finally managing to sputter out more words. "At least ye looked healtheh before." Mumbling low, he tried to drown out the dog's barking until he could think of something more clever to utter. "Wha' woul' Ambrose say, uh? Wha' would 'e say if 'e saw ye like this. 'urtin yeself." The realization that a length of time had gone on without him noticing how self-destructive she'd become made him sick to his stomach with guilt and anger, and this was clear by a sudden look of nausea.
Alec couldn't help but feel threatened by the dog as well as Donner showed obvious signs of upset, and he quickly rolled himself back a foot to glare at the animal defiantly, falling silent.
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Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 9:40 pm
"It doesn't matter what he'd say." Amaya said, Donner's leash hanging lifelessly in her hand now. "And it doesn't matter if I look healthy or not. It won't change anything." Her aggravation had returned and she was going for the doorknob again to get outside and away from all this.
She wanted to say more, but fell silent again. The girl wanted to yell at him about how watching herself eat made her sick. About how chewing her food with a reptilian mouth lost her appetite, how eating nothing but fruit because she couldn't stomach anything else made her want to scream, and about how she couldn't even see in front of her what she was eating, so she sometimes had to drink like an animal.
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Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 9:49 pm
"I' will if ye bloodeh die on me!" The sharkboy barked back in an annoyed voice, hearing her dismiss from the conversation a man he thought she once admired and cared deeply for. As she made for the door the youngster moved to intercept with his wheelchair, somehow pleased the cumbersome metal contraption was finally coming in handy for once. "Wha' 'appened 'Maya? A' though' ye'd be 'appeh t'be 'ere. A' go' them t'make up this place fo' us. Fo' YE!" He raised his arms and motioned to their surroundings, even as her eyes remained trained on the only escape route available.
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Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 9:58 pm
Yellow and brown eyes looked back and around the room, like she was seeing it for the first time and needed to inspect it. "I won't die..." She began. "I'm too much of a coward to die." Whether Alec knew she had once seriously thought about suicide or not was anyones guess - or if he knew he was the one who just happened to stumble onto her and distract her away from the pill bottle she intended to swallow.
Amaya looked back down at him, the same sad frown on her features. "It's just a room, Alec. The only thing that's changed is now we live together." A subtle jab at him not returning her feelings after she had confessed them to him. "I've been the same for a long time. Ever since I changed last, ever since..." She trailed off, not wanting to mention that horrible day inside the cafeteria.
"It's just... now you actually see it. I can't put up a happy mask anymore. I'm too tired. I'm sick of trying. The only reason I haven't given up entirely yet is because I promised you I'd never leave you alone." She took in a deep breath through her nostrils, as if she was crying and needed to sniff back nonexistent tears.
"But it's getting harder, Alec. It... just..." The iguana couldn't think of what she was trying to say and just shook her head and looked down.
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Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 10:21 pm
Alec's frown deepened at Amaya's words, a flare of anger rising within him. Just a room? It wasn't the room, it was their company! Did it not mean anything to her that now they could enjoy eachother's company at their own leisure, any time they needed it? Was it not better to hear another person's voice rather than the echo of cold, sterile walls?
"Bu' 'Maya, we all 'ave lost somethin tha' was taken away. T'sit 'ere day n' an' day-" He tried to cut her off but it was no use. He knew she had it rough. Being left with nothing but the shell of a scaly lizard where once was most likely a budding, charming young girl-- the thought was sickening but it was permenant. If one can't eventually live with themselves, then... what do they have left?
"The only reason I haven't given up entirely yet is because I promised you I'd never leave you alone."
The boy's thoughts cut short, the train of thought automatically derailed into something much worse. His face contorted into a pained expression, a mix of utter shock and disgust as if he'd swallowed something too sour to bear. "What?" He breathed, not realizing his knuckles were gripping the rims of his wheelchair so hard the membranous webbing was turning white. His jaw dropped only slightly but no words came. Tears were already welling in his eyes.
She was suffering, struggling, and for what? A valiant measure to keep a trule weak person from feeling alone. He felt so... spineless. So mislead. So utterly at fault for it all.
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