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 Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:42 pm
"You, a monster?" The thought brought a giggle bubbling up her throat, and her sweet-sounding laughter sung through the air. This stallion was too much... how could this creature, so bent on protecting those he loved and cared for, ever do something horrible that would deem him a monster?
Her laughter quieted, as she thought over what he had said. Her pink and purple tail swished back and forth against the back of her legs, and a few pieces of wrapped candy dropped upon the ground as she moved.
"I told you already," she replied, keeping her voice light, as she was tired of acting cruel, like regular kalonas were, "I have no past Bairn, so it's very, very stupid to apologize and pity the likes of me. What's the point? I'm done with it all, and it's such a bother, trying to relive something one works so hard in trying to escape." It was boring, being mean, when one could throw off their prey and opponent with a sweet attitude.
She lifted her head smugly in the air, her mane blowing softly in the breeze. She was powerful, and she knew it. Dia needed no stallion's words to know she was beautiful and dangerous. She was her own fan club, and that's all she would ever depend on.
It felt good, though, having another grovel before her. She knew Bairn had no intention of 'groveling', but his quick responses and apologizes amounted up to nothing but adding to her already large ego, and it made her sour mood return back to sweetness.
"Now tell me, Bairn," she said, almost purring, "What made you into this horrible horrible monster?"
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 8:53 am
Her laughter was strange, it was welcoming and almost friendly. It had even made the tanned stallion laugh himself, only his was much more deeper and unwelcoming. Bairn hadn't ever really learned how to giggle and laugh like a foal did...so he laughed the way he thought fit.
Watching her tail carefully, the tanned stallion took one step backwards, didn't that usually mean....when a predator's tail was swishing that she or he was about to attack? That's what he heard a long time ago and it made him slightly...afraid of what could happen next. "I'm a monster in my eyes." Bairn said softly, almost laughing as her candy fell. What a funny sight.
And then he listened to her speak to him again, this time it appeared as though Diabetia was actually trying to be nice! Or perhaps this was only a show, and she wanted to just get rid of him. "No past, right. No past. You should meet the Ghost of Christmas Past, my dear Nostalgia will have a lot to say about that comment." His own voice went back to it's snarky sarcastic tone out of habit and dark brown eyes got wide. No! No more pissing off the Kalona's. "But whatever you say, if you don't want pity then that's fine with me. I was just being nice."
Dark browns eyes kept a stern look on the Kalona mare in front of him, weary of every move she made. One wrong one on his part could lead to something else, something he didn't want to happen until his children were born. If he was to die in the teeth of Diabetia...let it be after he met his kids.
"Uh..." Bairn began, unable to find the right words...but like Bliss always said...
Wait what? Was he actually going to find advice from the idiotic stallion he made fun of every chance he got?
Yes, yes he was. So...like Bliss always said, 'When you're at a loss for words, just talk. Whatever comes out, comes out. Right?'
"Well um...." The tanned stallion blinked and then decided to just go with it. "Back then I hated the world and everyone in it, besides my family. I used to prance around telling every stupid mare or stallion I met that they were useless and that life didn't matter. I was a havoc wreaking idiot. And then I met a pretty mare, a mare that I actually found quite interesting. I wanted to love her...but the rest of myself wouldn't let me...."
Bairn didn't really want to say the rest, but it wasn't good enough if he didn't so he continued, "So I told her that I hated her and everything, practically ruining the poor girl's life. So I couldn't take it anymore and I just gave in to everything around me and told that mare I loved her and now we're a family. I cannot live with the fact I did that to her, though. Or anyone for that matter."
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 11:40 am
She would have liked it better, had he not continued his story after his pause. The tale ended too sweet for the likes of her, who had never learned what love was, and had no desire to find out.
"But you didn't kill anything? You just... insulted other Soquilis?" She asked, her interest dying in his story. When she thought of monsters, she saw destruction, death, killings. She didn't see it as hurting feelings, breaking hearts, and rude comments tossed from one horse to another. "Did you actually hurt something physically?"
She knew, from experience, that some creatures could inflict wounds by words and mess with one emotionally, but it was very hard for her to believe that the goody-goody stallion in front of her was capable of that degree of pain and anguish. He seemed more of the type that would say something hurtful, but then seconds later apologize for it, and attempt to make ammends. She saw no monster in him or his ways.
"A monster, dear Bairn," she started, her pink hooves making a circle around him, "Is a creature most horrible and fearsome."
She trailed around him in a slow circle, examining him like a prime cut of meat with her cold pink eyes. "A creature so awful and so frightening that others shudder and become nervous at the mention of the name, much less the presence of the creature. You are no monster, Bairn."
Her striped legs paused as she now stood directly beside him, her eyes searching to meet his as she spoke, her sweet voice quiet, but only for a second. "I have seen monsters, I have been attacked by monsters. Monsters, unlike you, have no heart and no care for what happens to whom they affect. While you were cruel and harsh to others around you, you told me yourself you still loved your family during this time. A monster cares only for himself. Did you care for only yourself, Bairn?"
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 12:39 pm
The look he gave her was something of a dumbfounded stare. Was she seriously suggesting he'd physically hurt someone? Oh, no that was not him in any way, what-so-ever. Only harsh words, and even then his words were no where near the actual definition of harsh. A calm stallion, he was. A calm (yet annoyed) silent stallion.
The tanned stallion shook his head softly. "No, never. I'd never hurt anyone. That's not in my nature, that's not in my family history. I wouldn't..." Bairn trailed off, still shaking his head. There was no way he'd ever bring himself to draw blood, or just bruise some other living creature. Save except...perhaps Bliss. It depended on how stupid that stallion was on that day.
And then dark brown eyes watched as the Kalona circled him. He knew that she was only trying to tell him what a true 'monster' was but the whole thing kinda freaked him out. It wasn't very eary to watch her circle like that.
Suddently, a thought came to Bairn's mind, a strange one indeed...but one nonetheless. "Would I be one if I said that what you just said doesn't sound all that bad to me? If I get to keep my family, I wouldn't mind being the horror on everyone's lips."
It didn't bother him to admit it, for that was who he truly was. Someone who hated...literally hated to meet others unless somehow he sensed a connection from the beginning. Becoming a father changed him a bit...but the old 'Bairn' stayed with him.
Dark brown eyes caught her own and it made him shudder. "I understand. And well..." He paused and chuckled. "Perhaps there was this one time during my...state of mind, where the only one I cared about was my mother and myself. My mother, she's the only one in the world that...well..." He didn't continue, he couldn't. "You understand I think, my dear Diabetia. I realize what I'm saying sounds stupid to you, but to me and everyone else? I'm a monster."
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 1:35 pm
She nodded her head silently, understanding somewhat of what he said. In most cases, there was always an exception to the rule. By Bairn's standards and those he befriended, his actions perhaps would label him a monster, though by her standards and the creatures she formerly dealt with, his description would be far from being of a monster's nature.
"Nature...." she mused, listening to his words, "Nature plays a large role in how a being acts the way it does. But it is yourself that makes you who you are in the end... not family, not your environment, but your mind and beliefs. Your mother could only teach you so much before you could come up with your own opinion and conclusions."
Her eyes left his, as she saw she was making him nervous. She was having an interesting conversation, for a change, and didn't want to risk running this stallion off just yet.
Dia didn't believe the heart had anything to do with a creature's decisions. Hearts were organs pumping with blood keeping pitiful beings alive, and that was it. It was emotions that were weaknesses, needed to be put under control, and not the symbol of the heart itself.
"And no, Bairn," she remarked, as she began walking, feeling restless, "If you still can remain attached to ones you love, even if it's just your mother, you'll never be a monster in my eyes. Now... should you cast them off, as well as your new family, perhaps I would see things differently." She snorted, and tossed her mane, "But then again, you already know my thoughts about families."
Family. What the hell was so special about a family anyways?
Her mind quickly curbed itself from trailing off, and she continued, "You seem intrigued with being 'bad' and thoughts of being bad, but unless I'm shown otherwise, it appears to me that you simply have a twisted fantasy to be different than your naturally kind race... something unique and cruel, unlike the usual pleasantness and friendliness Soquilis seem to love showing to one another."
She paused in her walk and turned back, to see if he would be following her.
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 12:36 pm
While he stood there, waiting for her to respond to what he had to say about being a monster...Bairn had a sinking feeling that what he said didn't qualify at all still. Nothing, never...anything he'd do in his entire boring life would be anywhere near the true nature of a monster. Storybooks, storytellers...they knew what a real beast was, those who've actually experienced the presence of one. Not him, the simple-minded stallion that stood in front of a kind of monster herself.
The tanned stallion nodded slowly, what she was saying made sense...but still, to him...he would always be an evil heartless creature back in the day. Always. "Sure, yes...but I was brought up that way. Oh, don't get me wrong, Diabetia. I've had many thoughts of chaos. Perhaps ones less...morbid then the ones that the average Kalona has, but I've definitely dreamed of causing pain. I just...cannot bring myself to actually do it. For sake of my family."
And then the Kalona female continued, trying to prove him wrong. Trying to prove to him, just like Windflame that all the words he spoke were just...crap. They didn't mean anyhting. "Fine, then...I'll never the true monster I want to be...but I will always be different then my family. I could never bring myself to be the average heartless stallion and abandon my family. My children, they'd need me. That thought would always nag me, if I left." It was true, even though Bairn didn't like who he was still...afterall this time, deep down...he wasn't a bad guy. Just one that had serious issues. He loved mostly everyone he met, or at least his family...and wouldn't ever do anything harmful.
"Aha, of cource, my dear. But just out of curiousity. What would happen if by a random stroke of...bad luck, you became pregnant? What then? Would those children mean nothing to you?"
Her words made sense, and it caused the tanned stallion to laugh. Bairn thought, everything she just said was basically what it was. He had a twisted fantasy to be different. That's all it was, a twisted fantasy. "I can be friendly, of cource...when I want to be, but I choose not to because it's pathetic and stupid. Kind of...disgusting too, all the happiness going around. But when it comes to MY family, I'm happy. So I guess I'm being a rather hypocritical...but I'd rather choose the path of evil, in the end."
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 4:04 pm
She saw defeat in his eyes when she had spoken of what a 'true' monster was. It didn't make her feel bad, proving him wrong, but she conceded, "I can understand, though, that in comparison, what you see in yourself could be known as 'monsterous'. I'm sure you've had no experience in the dealings and lives of Kalonas to know what horrible monsters are. Kalonas are born kalonas and stallions are born stallions for reasons. There are many levels of evil, some greater than others, some lesser than most. Evil is still evil, any way you see it."
Her eyes lazily blinked as her mind absorbed his next question. She paused in her walk to turn fully around to speak to him, face to face. "You are suggesting that I would have to become intimate with another creature, and that, Bairn, would be where the question would be flawed. There is no beast alive that roams on this land that is worthy enough to mate with me. There is only one being that I have enough time and care to look after, and that one being is myself."
She flipped her mane to one side carelessly, enjoying the feeling of her soft hair falling down on her ivory neck. "But, let's pretend this silly question became a reality, in some far fetched dream of yours. Let's say I did indeed become pregnant." She almost gagged on the word, it was such a horrible thought, "Little spawns. I would probably eat them no sooner than they left my body, for causing so much grief and pain to me. Do you KNOW how fat one gets when one is pregnant? How horrid the thought, me, fat! Not to mention the whole birthing fiasco.... why in the world a mare would want such... little disasters being pushed out of her lower half is beyond reasoning to me." She gave a visible shudder as she allowed her mind a brief image of what she might look like heavy with foal. "You can mark my words, Bairn, you will never catch me acting the role of mother. I refuse. But then again, it's nothing to worry about, now, is it?"
She was taken back when he started laughing, and for a moment got the impression that he was laughing at her. Then, as he spoke, his words seemed to give reason for his laugh, so she ignored the outburst.
"Friendly is far from pathetic and stupid," she contradicted him, her pink eyes sparkling. "Why... being friendly can get you whatever you want. Being friendly has absolutely nothing to do with being evil, Bairn, darling. Or are you trying to infer that I'm not evil at all, since I was friendly enough to your brother and yourself, the first time we met? In fact, I'm almost always friendly to those I meet... but that doesn't make me lesser because of it."
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