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 Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 8:54 pm
Funny Conversations:
Clock: Underneath it all, I bet he's a sweetheart.
Cox: No no, underneath it all, he is pure evil.
Clock: Perry, no one's pure evil. I mean, yes, some people have a hard outer shell, but inside, everybody has a creamy center.
Cox: There are plenty of people here, on this particular planet who are hard on the outside AND hard on the inside.
Clock: So they have more of a nougaty center?
Cox: Lady...people aren't chocolates. D'ya know what they are, mostly? Bastards. b*****d-coated bastards with b*****d filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive, bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.
At that point, Dr. Clock places her hand on Dr. Cox's stomach and declares,
Clock: I'm touching your creamy center!
...after which, she walks away, glowing.
Cox: Ooooh, I am...so...very angry that I'm...going to find someone to kill...just to prove her wrong.
Kelso: I've got you a present for your trip to Mexico. It's my old Spanish-to-English dictionary. I don't need it anymore, I've master the language.
Gracias, senor!
Kelso: You're welcome-o!
Cox: Thanks to your little gesture, she actually believes that the earth is full of people who, deep down, are filled with kindness and caring.
Kelso: Well, that's obsurd. People are b*****d coated bastards with b*****d filling.
Kelso: Perry, what's our plan of attack?
Cox: When I crush a persons spirit, I like to use a combination of intimidation and degradation.
Kelso: I prefer to create an environment in which the subjects end up crushing themselves.
And my all-time favorite WHICH I memorized...
JD: Oh...my...God...
Cox: Newbie.
JD: No, zip it! I am so G-Darn pissed right now. I was ok when you kept me at an arms length, because everybody said, "That's just Cox, that's how he operates," and I believed them. And now, I walk in on this. This..."bi-racial love-fest".
You know what? I hate to do it, but I'm giving you back your pencil. That's right. The pencil you gave me on my 3rd day at work. You handed it off to me, like a...like a tiny, yellow baton. Like you were trying to say to me, "JD, you are the new me." "You, JD, are my mentee." "YOU...are my son".
Cox: ...What pencil?
JD: ...Oh, that's perfect. That's perfect. You know what? Take it. Maybe you can use it with Rex, or Gloria or...that guy!"
Cox: That guy's name is "Leslie".
JD:...His name is "Leslie". His name is "Leslie". Your name is Leslie! Alright. Good for you, Leslie!... LESLIEEEEEEE.
Single Quotes:
Kelso: Why are you whistling, Ted? You're life is pathetic.
Cox: I think you're the worlds biggest jackass, and I look forward to your death.
JD: OW, DOUG, WHY??? AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
JD: Sir, that's not a unicorn, that's a horse with a sword on his head.
Unicorn: You know I'm a unicorn! Why can't you just say it?
JD: Oh, this is way over Justin's head. He's never been in love...Not real love, anyways.
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 3:51 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 11:49 am
JD: You know, Keith, if the buyer hadn't been an undercover Federali, Elliot would be a slave somewhere...There wouldn't be any uncomfortable sexual tension between [her and me], and you and I would be best friends.
Keith:...Yea?!
JD: Yea...
Keith: biggrin
JD: 3nodding
Keith: biggrin
Elliot: ...KEITH.
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Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 7:59 pm
FunSize? Questing?
[ "Could you be a bigger a** right now?"
"Could you have a bigger a** right now?" ]
Click?
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Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 4:39 pm
Kelso: I was tlaking to these ladies over here...
Cox (to J.D. and Turk): I was talking to these ladies...
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Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 2:16 pm
My favorite quote is in my siggy, that's how much I love it!
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 5:36 pm
J.D.:My peeps are on the frits...
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Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 3:03 am
Oh, my God; I care so little, I almost passed out.
It is, actually, impossible to lie next to Jordan, seeing as how she sleeps hanging from the ceiling, wrapped, in a cacoon of her own wings
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Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 4:15 pm
New episodes reminded me of a few.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverwear drawer?
Turk: You mean why is there SILVERWEAR in the PANCAKE drawer. WATHUP (Wassup).
Elliot: You know, when I was a kid, I had my first sex dream about Mr. Hooper. At least, I think it was a sex dream. He was trying to choke me.
J.D: Oh, Jay (Leno)! You're so crazy! (followed by a horrible, horrible attempt to slap some bass)
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 10:20 am
I'm gonna go ahead and say this just as carefully as possible so I don't overstate it: Dr. Kelso is the most evil human being on the planet. And may, in fact, be Satan, himself
“I swear to God, Carla, if one more annoying thing comes my way, please just go ahead and extract some of that extra air out of Barbie's head and inject it right into my veins!”
It is, actually, impossible to lie next to Jordan, seeing as how she sleeps hanging from the ceiling, wrapped, in a cacoon of her own wings
Janitor: Knife-wrench... for kids!
J.D.: You had a tough day at the office. So you come home, make yourself some dinner, smother your kids, pop in a movie, maybe have a drink. It's fun, right? Wrong. Don't smother your kids.
Dr. Kelso: [to Carla] I told them Dr. Cox was going to take a leave of absence due to problems at home.
[to Jordan]
Dr. Kelso: Should anyone ask, you beat him.
Jordan: Beat him. Got it.
Dr. Cox: Bad uterus! Don't ever do that again!
Janitor: [the Janitor is using a drill with a fork in the front grip to twirl a patients Spagehttie] Drill Fork you can Drill and Fork. But Mostly Fork.
Janitor: I got alot of other invention.
[Janitor stabs a pen into a soda can]
Janitor: Pen straw. Don't like that cola though. tastes like ink.
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x_Silver Sharpie Addict_x
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 11:45 am
my favorite is
“Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren't "see ya", then the third word will be "Oh, my God, my crotch, you've punched me in the crotch."”
~ Dr. Cox to J.D.
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 5:34 pm
Fine, Newbie! Let me--let me tell you a little story. It starts every day at 5 in the morning -- which is just about the time that you're setting your hair for work -- when I am awakened by a sound: Is that a cat being gutted by a fishing knife? Nooo! That's my son. He's hungry and he's got a load in his pants so big that I'm actually considering hiring a stable boy. But, I go ahead and dig in; because I do love the lad and, well gosh, you know me, I'm a giver. And [whistles] I'm off to the hospital, where my cup runneth over with both quality colleagues, such as yourself, and a proverbial clown-car full of sick people. But, what the hey, my pay is about the same as guys who break rocks with other rocks and I only have to work three or four hundred hours a week, so, so far I'm a pretty happy camper! And then I head back home where I'm greeted by the faint musk of baby vomit in a house that used to smell like, well...nothing! Nothing! Nothing! I-i-in fact it used to smell like nothing at all. And all I want to do before I restart this whole glorious cycle is, you know, maybe lay on the couch and have a beer and watch some SportsCenter and, I'm if I'm not too sweaty from the days labors, stick my hand right down my pants, buuut apparently that's not in Jordan's definition of "pulling your weight".So, uh, there you are, superstar. Fix that.
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 11:46 am
-J.D.: Elliot's got the finger strength of a rock climbing jazz pianist!
-Turk: Aw! Look at them; two happy dead dogs.
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 9:36 pm
Some of mine are...(some may have already been said)
"Pageing Dr. Back-bone to the bajingo ward."
~Dr. Kelso
"This isn't a unicorn. It's a horse with a sword on it's head, to gaurd my hopes and dreams!"
~J.D.
"First, I want your baby. But we've been over that. I want you to convince that border-line aneorexic nurse to eat a sandwich, and then go salsa-dancing with me...also teach me to salsa-dance. I want a pound of frankensence, mostly just to see what it is, and oh! I'm in sort of a tiff with the main borista at Coffe-Bucks, and he's nuts about poisoning me. I need you to be my official taste-tester."
~The Janitor
"Hey Franklyn! If you analyze this urine sample right now, I might have sex with you, but probably not 4laugh "
~Elliot Reid
And, see my siggy.
There are probably more, but I can't think of them right now...
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Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 1:46 pm
"Ohhh, great! You're getting medication for your pain patient! But, say, why stop there? How's about we load up our fanny packs with happy pills, drive downtown, I'll hang out of the sun roof, and we can just throw fistfuls of 'em right at drug addicts and it'll just be a big happy parade!"
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