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 Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2004 6:33 am
31 July 2004
I went to the Fenthry Preservation Society yesterday with my plush, I have yet to think up a name for her though... Maybe something that starts with the letter C? No, how about M? Oh well, I suppose there's still time...
I love musicals, which is why I played "The Secret Garden" for both Tara and the plush. There's just something so magical about musicals, and yet at the same time it's so unrealistic... well not all.
But that's the thing about musicals, the emotions have just become too much that one can't help but break into song. I explained that to the plush and to Tara towards the ending.
I asked Pun to take care of Tara while I read a portion of "Journey to the West" the original Chinese version. Not the anime one where they made the goddess of mercy into some sort of manipulative harlot. Ever since I saw the portrayal, I hated it. It felt so... so... blasphemous against the true nature of the Goddess of Mercy! Well I did mention this to the plush, I'm just not sure how 'passionate' I was when I said it.
In any case, I passed by the Velveteen Toychest, but it was empty. And while I knew I wouldn't look like some silly fool for waiting inside, it just didn't feel right. I don't know, call it being self-conscious... I only hope my plush won't take after me in that aspect...
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Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 9:01 am
01 August 2004
Been quite busy today, I needed to visit my grandmother (Mother's side) for lunch and brought my plush along. Oh I got ridiculed by my uncle (I never did like him, even when I was a kid... especially when I was a kid) because I'm too old to be playing with toys.
I would have explained to him Khun Ying (the name I've decided upon for my plush) is no ordinary plush, but why waste my effort? Magsasayang lamang ako ng laway sa isang taong hindi naman makikinig. What more if he saw Tara and my Bodyguards? They all stayed home, I just brought Khun along to keep an eye on her. And to have someone to talk to while I waited for lunch to be over.
In any case, when my parents finally said I could go home, I left ASAP. While I do love my folks and I believe in having close family ties, I can only stand my extended family so much. They're just so... so... realistic and they just end up stunting my imagination. I didn't want Khun to be influenced too much...
I actually went to Tutuban today! Bought me some pirated photoshop tutorials cds, hey they were only 80php! Unlike the 1500php ones I see in Natio... Of course I faced Khun away while I purchased said cd.
Couldn't do much with anyone or anything when I got home, I had a project due the next week. And as much as I wanted to show Khun other things, I had to do the project first. Although I did manage to read another chapter of "Journey to the West" to both Khun and Tara.
When my schedule lightens up, I'll spend more time with her on a one-on-one basis.
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Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 9:58 pm
04 August 2004
I am sick, with a really bad cold. I can still go about my daily requirements, though a little slower than usual. I didn't want to infect Khun Ying, but as a plush will she get sick? I hope not, I'd never forgive myself if she did or does. But at the same time I can't bear to be apart from her... Oh Goddess of Mercy, help me.
Can I give Khun a bath? Maybe, with lots of bubbles and nice warm water. Then I'll blow dry her! Yes, that would be best. But I'll do that after I get well, no sense in bathing her more than necessary, she might not like taking a bath. Well, I do, but that's not the point.
What have I been doing with her recently? Well, we met D and Sidney, I love snakes, well maybe the non-venomous ones. I think I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, just the mere thought of poison makes me spasm. Gah, I'm digressing!!! Back to the topic, Khun Ying, Tara and I had a musical marathon!
My fenthry just loves to dance, so I got Khun Ying to dance with her. It was cute seeing the two of them moving together, even though I was moving Khun Ying. She's pretty limber for a plush.
As for what we watched, well "Bye Bye Birdie", "Into the Woods", "The Secret Garden" (again, I just adore Dickon), "Grease" and "Rama Sita." Before we slept last night, I also played some soft melodies, something of a medley of Chinese, Japanese and OPM music.
And because I'm sick, I shall end my entry here.
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Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 9:19 am
08 August 2004
I have been sick, sick, sick... to the point I didn't dare let anyone stay near me. Khun Ying was my only companion and source of comfort at that time... I'm better now, thankfully.
I haven't been able to go anywhere in Gaia, just assigned Pun and Nyeta to keep up with the Agency and make sure the Bodega doesn't get over run... I've mostly been asleep, with Khun Ying in my arms.
The weirdest thing though, is that whenever I slept, I dreamt Khun Ying was with me. The most recent one was perhaps the oddest dream ever... I dreamt I was in bed, and woke up in the dream. Khun Ying was sitting on my lap, and she was... staring at me. There was no other way to describe the intense manner those plush eyes were directed at me. I reached out to her but she seemed to crawl away.
She crawled all the way to the edge of the bed and fell down. I gasped and peered over the side to see what had happened to her. My eyes grew wide, it wasn't my bedroom floor that spread before me. It was, well, leaves... not the sort of leaves on maple trees or pine trees. But the leaves one finds on the bamboo shoots.
Khun Ying was already crawling away, glancing back now and then to see if I was following her. Without thinking, I pushed the covers back and crawled (I don't know why, but I crawled rather than walked) after her. The leaves were prickly and cut into my PJ's, but they neither cut my flesh nor drew blood. I kept following my plush, and pretty soon the leaves thinned out.
We were now crawling on glass, not just any glass. A mosiac pattern was made on it, I haven't the foggiest clue what it was, since I was too close to it to see. But Khun Ying kept crawling, and crawling.
Once she came upon a huge shell, taller than I am, Khun Ying stopped and turned to face me. She stood tall, (well as tall as her plush form could) and began to sing. She sang and sang, in English, in Tagalog, in Chinese, in Japanese, even in gibberish. It was so surreal...
Finally I woke up. Khun Ying was still in my arms though. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, other than my nose felt less stuffy and my throat wasn't as sore as before. Of course I told no one about this, well, other than Khun Ying.
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Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2004 8:17 am
10 August 2004
The walking contradiction just walked into a wall... I'm feeling better, physically, though emotionally I have yet to recover. Things have been horrible, one failing grade after another, I couldn't explain to Tara or my Bodyguards about it. They didn't quite understand...
But Khun Ying just listened to me (not that she has much of a choice in the matter), staring at me with those eyes of hers. To get my mind off my god-forsaken academic life, I finished reading to her Journey To The West. And for some bizarre reason I read out an excerpt from Scott Peck's "A Road Less Traveled." Particularly about the whole dependency thing.
As I read aloud, I told Khun Ying if she wanted to leave I'd let her leave. I'd be devastated if she would ever decide to, but I'll respect her decision and let her go. Of course I added I'll be moping and wallowing in depression for weeks at her decision, but she's still free to go. I'm such a twisted person for telling her that... and I prayed to the Goddess of Mercy to keep my negativity from influencing my plush.
I also instructed Nyeta to go shopping for a recipe book. I know a Panda's diet is limited to bamboo shoots, but that doesn't mean Khun Ying can't look at other types of foods... And also... I'm wondering if I can give her a bath... my germs are probably swarming all over her.
Maybe I should ask someone in the shop? I hope I won't have to dry clean her... Goddess of Mercy spare Khun Ying the stupidity that is Huni. Alright, I'm teetering on the brink of despair right now, and if I keep this up I'll literally fall off. And I might drag Khun Ying along with me.
I gave her another hug, just to reassure both myself and her that I'm still here... that until this heart of mine stops beating, I'll still be here.
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Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 8:47 pm
12 August 2004
Note to self, and the rest of the world, Philosophy at 7:30 in the morning is NOT good for whatever brain cells I have left... I made this very known to those living in the house... well, except for Hoai as he doesn't really care about dying...
I tried to Philosophize with Khun Ying, although technically speaking I need to get another human involved in order for it to be considered philosophizing. But enough of that. I talked to my plush about the whole "truth" and whatnot. I told her that truth is both and neither subjective or objective, that truth's "opposite" is not falsehood or lies, it's being in semblance.
I'm not sure if she understood it, considering I don't understand it very well myself. But I tried, and now that we've been required to 'reflect' in the secondary level, I think I'm going to need an audience. Khun Ying shall be my victim este- audience.
I only hope she can keep up with my shifting from Tagalog to English. Hmm, perhaps I'll talk to her in the local vernacular for a few days. And I'll try to speak in Fookien whenever I can, though my Fookien is just plain pathetic. In any case, I was having a 'dialogue' with Khun Ying, when Nyeta interrupted me. She had the recipe book.
Of course I thanked her, gave her a tip (she demanded for one, I'm such a pushover) and then proceeded to flip through the pages with Khun Ying. Apparently there were no recipes that had bamboo shoots in it, maybe I'll look for one over the net and show it to her? Perhaps I will.
And I went back to philosophizing/reflecting (whichever is the correct one) with Khun Ying. I think I talked for like over an hour and half, mostly because I tended to digress from the topic of truth to other stuff. Maybe I bored Khun Ying... or I fascinated her? Maybe both? Maybe neither... perhaps this experience for her isn't a fruitful one?
I think I'll take her shopping tomorrow.
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2004 8:05 am
14 August 2004
Yesterday I gave Khun Ying her very first bath. With lots and lots of bubbles!!! I need a bubbled bath too... but the rules are only one 'bath' a week, I can't afford to have daily baths. Showers are fine, but baths are a different story...
Tara was with us when I was giving Khun her bath, and she got all three of us wet. So I didn't really need a bath anymore I suppose. After I cleaned my plush, I had to blow dry her and the noise sorta scared Tara. I explained to Khun Ying what I was doing, knowing that velvets were sentient even in their plush stage. Besides, I don't like the silence.
Also a special package arrived the other day, a special new child! An ice cream child to be exact, her name is Strawberry and she is just so pink! While in her ice cream stage, I showed her to Khun Ying and told the plush that ice cream is a delicious frozen treat. Strawberry, however, is not to be eaten under any circumstance. It didn't take long for Straw to become a child, though. And she wanted to hug Khun Ying.
I didn't let her though, as I had just given the plush a bath... in any case, I read out the theo readings I was assigned to Khun Ying and Tara. It put the fenthry to sleep right away, as for the plush, I set her down on the bed to let her 'sleep' as well. Besides, if she hadn't fallen asleep, I was about to very soon.
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Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 7:33 am
21 August 2004
Things have been rather hectic here, I've barely had enough time to spend with Khun Ying and the rest of my family. The sem is drawing to a close, so all the project deadlines have literally piled on top of one another. Not to mention I've been battling against this horrible bout of depression...
Philosophy has made me question so many things, and since most of the 'people' living in my house aren't into having a philosophical conversation with me, Khun Ying is the only one I could turn to. It would be nice if I could get her opinion, but I'm content with her just listening to me.
I also attended a marriage conference the other day. Sadly I couldn't bring Khun Ying along, she would have enjoyed the jokes the couples were making. I did tell her all about it though, so while it's not one hundred percent accurate, I got the gist of things.
Straw can't stop hugging Khun Ying... I think I'll need to get her a sort of ice cream proof shirt or something. But Tara insists that hugging Khun Ying wouldn't be the same if the plush had something on her. That makes sense, but I'm not too sure if the plush likes having to take a bath almost everyday...
As a solution, I gave Straw her own plush to hug and play with. That way Khun Ying doesn't have to get ice cream all over her. I'm still mildly depressed, and I'm hoping that no one in the house gets infected with it. I'm trying to smile, but the feeling's just not there...
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Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 7:06 am
22 August 2004
The house is a complete mess, to put it mildly... I am not only a disaster in academics, but I'm ten thousand times worse in the kitchen. I had asked Pun to watch over Tara and Straw today while I spend some one-on-one time with Khun Ying. Hoai (or Haoi as I call him) had to be locked away in the attic, which he rather liked, said something about the darkness is a beacon to lead the foolish to repent... or something like that.
In any case, I got the cook book Nyeta bought for me. It had some simple cake recipes that I thought Khun Ying and I could make together. Oh I held her paw while I creamed the butter and stuff. The actual mixing and making the batter was no problem, sure flour spilt everywhere, and some traces of the batter was found behind the refrigerator but...
I think I set the oven too low, so the cake took too long so I upped the temp a notch. While we waited for it to cook, I talked to Khun Ying about my depression...
"You know, sometimes I wonder of the futility of it all. We are all destined to perish and return to dust that we came from in th first place, so why do we still try to elevate ourselves? Do material possessions truly make or break a person's happiness? If it doesn't, then it must be the intangibles, like acceptance, conformity, and maybe even paranoia. But, Khun Ying, is it truly one or the other? Are we really forced to choose between two sides? Is there no neutral ground?"
That's the condensed version, the long one would be too redundant and inane to record. I only hope Khun Ying doesn't suffer from brain damage after that bout with nonsense... I got into the whole reflection thing that I didn't notice the smoke coming out of the oven.
Tylan had smelt the smoke and saw the critical condition of the appliance... Thankfully his 'practical' nature saw that if I go, so does the house. He's strong, he gets it from his parents, so he grabbed me and bolted out of the kitchen. I made him go back for Khun Ying or I'll lop his wings, his tail and then his head off.
Good thing he was also fast because the moment he got Khun Ying, the kitchen went kablooey!!! This means I'm going to need to reconstruct that part of the house... oh well, that's life. I'm only glad nothing happened to my velvet and no one else got hurt.
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 1:51 am
The red haired woman sighed slightly, hugging the velvet to her chest tightly. She was dressed in a fleece jacket and flannel PJ's, the thick comforter drawn up to her waist. The airconditioner was turned to max, to ensure her Scoop child didn't melt. Straw was, surprisingly, asleep.
The diary was propped open on her lap, the pen lying where the seam of the journal is. In the background, the cd of "The Secret Garden" was softly playing. She hummed to most of the songs, but insisted on singing to Dickon's song, even trying to match his Yorkish accent.
"Isn't that accent just dreamy?" she giggled to Khun Ying. "Now, let's work on some Tagalog words again." she smiled.
26 August 2004
Today was interesting, classes were suspended so I had some time to teach Khun Ying a couple of Tagalog words. Nothing deep or profound, as my vocabulary in Tagalog is... the word pitiful is too nice... oh well, in any case, I wish she could be proficient in languages I lack in. So I have a translater with me all the time.
I only hope I don't end up overloading her with information... so I'm taking things slowly with her. In any case, here are the words I 'taught' her today:
Ako - Me
Sentence: Ako si Khun Ying - I am Khun Ying
Mahal - Love or Expensive
Sentence: Mahal kita - I love you; Mahal ito - This is expensive
Opo - A respectful "Yes"
Sentence: Opo, mahal rin kita - Yes, I love you too
Hindi - No
Sentence: Hindi ko alam - I don't know
I'd teach her more but I'll keep repeating these for a while.
I also went to the shop today and left a gift for Sidney. I was hoping to find Moofuls to give Acia something, but she wasn't around. And then I went back home.
Then I started wondering about things, about the whole 'popularity' of things, particularly of the shops. Just what is it about shops that made them... well... popular? I told Khun Ying I had a discussion about this with someone else, LP I believe. Neither of us could come to a conclusion.
Was it the art? Was it the concept? Was it the person/people running it? So many variables and factors to consider. I studied marketing in school, but apparently it's inapplicable in Gaia's economy. Khun Ying might get the impression that I'm dissatisfied with her, so I constantly repeated how much I love all my pets and would never give them up. And like always I huggled and kissed my plush so much I think she got water logged from my kisses...
I would have kept at it, but Straw woke up and started crying. So after I finished soothing her, I was too tired to keep talking. So after kissing Khun Ying and Tara (and giving my Fen an extra layer of blankets) goodnight, I finished the entry and went to be myself.
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Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2004 5:30 am
Huni stretched her arms above her head, absently rubbing her nape. She had been reading aloud to her 'children,' pets seemed too derogatory. Besides, according to Scott Peck, pets are conditioned to be dependent on their owners. But Huni wanted everyone living in the house to be independent, hence she refered to them as her children, in spite of their non-human appearance.
The book was a graphic novel, actually one of the three she intends to read to them. Done by a Filipino named Arnold Arre the book is entitled "After Eden." Straw was balanced on a nearby coffee table, Ora and Tara rested on one shoulder each, Khun Ying (being the cuddliest) was in her arms.
Nyeta and Pun had read "After Eden" before, and were not interested in hearing it for the nth time. Tylan didn't really care while Hao and Hoai were too busy upstairs in the attic doing who-knows-what.
It was not a love story, one set in a society so much like today. At least, from a Filipino's perspective, it was three love stories. She would often sigh wistfully at some scenes, and though she tried to minimize her laughter, Huni was -is easily amused. Ora and Tara often had to grip onto her hair to keep their balance.
But after the warm fuzzy feeling had subsided, Huni found herself unconsciously explaining why she was still 'single' and didn't have an "Adam." Single blessedness and all it's burden, the rejection of the Noah's Ark mentality and all that, and yet she told them never to close their heart to love. Huni insisted that she hasn't, for she has had no reason to, although it was questionable whom she was trying to convince.
Once Straw started drifting to sleep, she picked up the others and tucked them to bed. Kissing each of them a goodnight, with the exception of Ora who wanted no part of getting her hair messed up. Huni only chuckled as she brushed the Aeya's hair.
Khun Ying was always in her arms, always.
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Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2004 8:42 pm
31 August 2004
Gosh, how long has it been since I last wrote here? I've been reading too many graphic novels, but I can't help it... "After Eden" was so warm and fuzzy feeling, so I read to my children "ZsaZsa Zaturnnah." I don't want them growing up to be closeminded homophobes, so I even made Pun and Nyeta and even Tylan listen.
In a way, I suppose by reading this to them without having to 'explain' why two men were becoming a couple, it will instil in them this sense of normalcy. That it's not such a big deal to see two people of the same gender as a couple. Although I had to admit, there are some men who are just absolutely beautiful that I feel like some skinny little scarecrow that fell off her post.
They all stared at me funny after that remark, well except Khun Ying and Straw. I don't think Straw quite grasps my 'eloquence' yet. And Khun Ying, well... she's still a plush after all.
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Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:44 pm
05 September 2004
Busy, busy, busy, I've been so busy these past few days it's not even funny... I've been running around doing one project after another, and it's not the sort of project I willingly took upon myself. Believe, me, I'm getting pretty cranky about it.
Khun Ying is getting the worst of my frustrations, my hugs are getting tighter than usual and while I still shower her with affections, I... cry at times too. So she's not only water logged from my saliva, but also from my tears...
I have got to shake off this depressed mood I'm in... think of happy thoughts, Huni, think of happy thoughts. Damn it's so hard when all I think about is flunking my class, never being able to get a good job, ending up as an embarassment to my family and never being able to live up to the expectations that I have set on myself...
And the party! I haven't the time to bring Khun Ying to that party, I'm sure she'd love to go. But I think by the time I am in any condition to bring her anywhere, the party will be over! I'm such an awful parent, I'm no good in anything... I'm just...
Here Huni stops writing to wipe away the tears that were streaming down her face. She decides to cut the entry short, settling for just holding the plush in her arms for comfort. The pink fenthry climbed up her sleeve onto her shoulder, poking at her in concern. Ora, in spite of her self-absorbed tendencies, noticed a drastic lack of attention from the human and wondered what the matter was.
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Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:06 am
The entire house was quiet, no musical sound track playing in the background, no OPM (Original Pilipino Music) song being looped on winamp, not even the steady static of the television. The only sound that can be heard is the rhtymic typing of the keyboard.
It was dark, as all the lights were turned off, save for one solitary room. This was the computer room, off limits to all the members of the household other than Huni and Khun Ying.
The red head was staring in a manner akin to an undead, the radiating light of the computer screen bathing her face in a sickly glow. Even without the electronic device's ill-flattering illumination, it was obvious Huni hadn't slept in days. Her eyes had dark circles as large as her plush's, her skin was drawn taut at her cheeks, her hair was a mess at best, and her overall aura was that of a zombie.
Strewn around her feet were piles and piles of paper, researched materials, graphs, financial statements, surveys, and random scratch papers stabbed with a mechanical pencil. The plush was seated in the corner, away from the female figure hunched over the computer.
"Ayoko na..." Huni moaned, and slammed her forehead against the keyboard for the nth time. "Please almighty God, end my misery now..." she muttered into the plastic. This was routinal, every hour or so she would either pound her fists against the table, bang the side of her head against the wall or just scream her lungs out.
Khun Ying was the only one who witnessed this grisly scene of cramming. When the telephone rang, it seemed all hell would break loose. "ANO!?! What the heck do you mean she didn't upload the correct file?!" several strings of expletives soon followed, ranging from English, to Filipino, to Chinese and back. In sheer frustration, Huni tore at her hair and clawed at her scalp.
"Why why why!? PUCHA WHY!?!" she shrieked. It was too much, Huni needed to find release, and the closest object that would provide her with this sensation was to scoop her plush into a (panda)bear hug. So tight, as if she was trying to squeeze every ounce of comfort from the doll.
After two minutes of not moving, she slackened her grip. "I don't know what I'd do without you. Salamat talaga, mahal na mahal kita." she smiled, albeit wryly. Setting Khun Ying back on her chair, Huni returned to the glowing computer screen.
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Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 7:20 am
13 September 2004
Finally... sweet, sweet sleep, how I've missed it... it's been ages since I had gotten a good night's sleep. Usually I just collapse out of sheer exhaustion and I wake up not even remembering going to bed in the first place. Everyone has been extremely supportive, especially Khun Ying who had the displeasure of witnessing how gruesome I became under stress.
She's such a sweet darling so I brought her to the shop today. Malady unfortunately tagged along, that darn Intangible never listens to a word I say... I only hope it doesn't pick on Khun Ying. But I'm sure she'll fight back, panda bears once provoked can be very fierce.
In any case, we saw Sidney and he grew up! He has the most gorgeous skin I've seen, though I'm a little surprised at the change in colors from green to a dark almost black version. The scarf is just lovely on him, though in any shade of scales. I can't wait to see Khun Ying grow up, but I told her not to rush, if she wasn't ready I'll wait.
Though I'd be lying if I said I'm not excited to see her grow. I can't help but wonder how she'll act once she becomes alive. Hopefully I can still hug her and talk to her about my thoughts. It would be great to get some reaction, even if it's abstract emotions. Maybe Malady could be of some use? Doubtful...
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