Welcome to Gaia! ::

So... This is what adolescence feels like. I woke up this morning to find my fins had extended to an astounding size, and I was no longer a little girl, but a woman. (Well, I'm well on my way to becoming a woman, at any rate.) Epi-chan gasped when she saw me, and pulled me into a tight hug, stroking my hair and wishing me a happy birthday. I sat at the kitchen table, conversing with Epi-chan about nothing in particular as she made me a home-made birthday cake. As a treat, she let me decorate it with coloured icing.

Later on in the morning, I requested that we could sit together on the beach again. She obliged, and so we did. As we watched the waves and rising sun in silence, I felt memories sweep over me - at least, I think they were memories. The girl from my mind looked alarmingly like the one I see in mirrors.. She was tending to a wounded dolphin that had washed ashore. This girl did not have any fins as I do, but she wore the same necklace as I. Suddenly, my memory shifted to the dolphin's perspective... It heard the Sea Mother calling, and longed to rejoin her, but it was stuck on the shore; I felt the dolphin's pain, and realised its inner voice was not unlike my own.

What did any or all of this mean? I wanted to ask Epi-chan, but I didn't know how to tell her I thought I wasn't who she thought I was. A confusing predicament, any way you look at it. Instead, I shuffled closer to her and put my arm around her, nestling against her and wondering if I would ever gather the courage to tell her what I felt inside.

We soon left the beach, and returned to our house. As soon as we had stepped through the door, the heavens parted and rain was unleashed against the world. Epi promised that as her gift to me, the next day that bore good weather, she would take me swimming in the salty waters I love so much. I sincerely cannot wait, for I am most at ease in the sea, swimming with the aquatic creatures around me and being at one with the seabed.

That, most definitely, has not changed since I grew.

I have tried to keep this journal up to date over the past weeks, but it has been very difficult, what with Infi going away and leaving me with Over. I was a little nervous at first, but he's okay, as long as I don't go near his scissors. @.@;

I'm currently using Infi's laptop.. I would've written by hand but she suggested I learnt how to use the computer sooner rather than later. I must confess, this does stop my wrists from hurting.. and I don't develop my writer's lump.. (Funnily enough, I have mine in the same place as Epi's - must be in the family.)

This morning, I received an invitation from Bellus Pupa.. It was inviting me to a fair of some sort; I must notify Infi at once! And with that, I shall leave to go and phone her.. o_o
.. If I can work out how to use the phone.. I've never had to call anyone before. =/

Wish me luck?

It has been four days since I discovered my mother had passed away. Renn is far nicer than I ever gave her credit for; as with most people who deal with the grief of losing someone as close to them as a mother or father, I initially held her as responsible for my loss. However, her persistent kindness and the way she masked her own depression earned her deep respect from me when I had calmed down. Now, I live with Renn – I really could not bear to stay in Epi’s house any longer, - and she takes good care of me.

Yesterday, I ventured to the beach to seek some comfort from the Sea Mother. It seems as though she is holding a grudge against me, because when I called to her, I received only seagulls’ shrieks in reply. I wonder now if the Sea Mother isn’t just the fish soul in me… Though I know that part of me has been dormant for a very long time, it would not surprise me if it returned with a vengeance.

I wonder if there is anyone out there who feels just like I do; who knows my pain and troubles. Does anybody else suffer with two entirely different souls that constantly quarrel with each other, and shift control over their entire being? I wish pity and peace upon them; the burden of coping with such turmoil is more than enough for anyone to bear.

Crisis averted.. thankfully. I told Renn what had happened and she assured me it was normal for humans, and told me it was called a period. Because I still didn't fully understand, she explained to me exactly what it was and why it had happened, before suggesting we go shopping for some things that I would need; namely these weird towel things that go in my underwear and some heat patches (though I can't remember why I'd need those.) She was really kind about everything - and she seems to know literally everything!

When I told Renn that I didn't normally go to school - and that Epi used to teach me herself, - my new guardian was quick to pick up where Epi left off. I'm in no mood to compare the two's teaching methods, but they both succeed in teaching me new things. Even if Renn turns out to be the most excellent tutor in the world, I'll always want Epi and Windy back. Always. (Though I know they're never coming back, so it's just as well I'm not holding a grudge against Renn anymore.)

Now, it's far too early for me to be awake, let alone scribbling in the pages of my worn diary. I should be back in bed, happily snoozing. Goodnight! Well... Good morning, actually.

Naiya leant against the kitchen counter, arms folded and eyes fixed on the doll Renn had been given at the Egyptian Death festival. His hair was an odd colour – black, scarlet, a hint of grey and a few strange browns. Even weirder was his face. It wasn’t like the doll looked male, which Renn claimed he was. He seemed very feminine in his appearance, and it wasn’t like the vest-like thing really helped. It reminded Naiya of a corset, and fitted his cold, slim body as snugly as a glove would fit a hand.

Behind those glassy eyes, a soul seemed to reside. A tormented soul, perhaps? That would explain his forlorn gaze and ragged clothes, at the very least. What added to the strangeness was how neat his hair seemed, considering the rest of his bedraggled appearance.

Where was Renn in this picture? Out in the garden of course, talking to her newly-planted flowerbed. She had chosen to plant them now, in late January, in the hope that they’d flower in May. She enjoyed watching her flowers growing with the changing seasons – as they always did, - but from the beginning to the end.

“Ahh, rose…” the lady murmured, delicately taking a bud between her fingers, careful not to separate it from its stem. The texture was like silk, but slightly rough from the earth. “You will be the fairest of them all, when you grow…” Renn told the plant in a hushed voice, as though she believed the others would hear her and grow jealous.

Naiya, now tired of watching the lifeless doll, decided to confront Renn about it. In case the doll was actually alive (and just playing dead,) she left him on the kitchen table and headed out the back door towards the garden, where she found her guardian murmuring lovingly to various assorted flowers. Quite a picture of serenity… or insanity.

“Mother?” the aquatic girl called, wishing to draw Renn’s attention away from her lovely garden. It worked, with the lady rising to her feet, brushing the earth from her knees and heading towards her daughter, smiling broadly. “Mother, can I talk to you for a moment?”
“Of course, Naiya. What’s the matter?” came Renn’s loving reply.

“That doll you got… the one on the kitchen table.”
“Hmm? Torak?”
“Yeah, him. Is he… is he one of those dolls from Bellus Pupa?”
“He might be, I’m not sure. Hansi didn’t tell me. Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know, there’s just something strange about him that I can’t quite put my finger on…”
“Oh… well, we’ll find out soon enough, won’t we?”
“I guess.”

Only feeling a little reassured, Naiya returned to the house and plonked herself on one of the stools. She didn’t like chairs with backs, as they often restricted the movement of her fins. This was something she had only recently begun to care about, as they seemed to be growing somewhat – or she was becoming more conscious of them. Either way, she now found furniture to cater for her fins and ensure she was as comfortable as possible.

Thankfully for her mother, no new furniture was necessary – it was just a case of shifting things around a bit. The seats which had been in her bedroom were now dotted around the kitchen and living room, and the chairs which weren’t in those two rooms were in Renn’s. The woman had considered purchasing a few extra chairs – just in case Torak grew up to be a ‘real boy’, - but decided to cross that bridge when she came to it.

For now, Torak was nothing more than a painfully lifelike doll.