I had gone out to Anaheim with my exxxx and her mommy and daddy to visit ole Walt, you know? We were staying in a resort on Disneyland grounds, I think there was a giant hat on the ground or was the emblem or something (Mickys hat from Fantasia).
So, David puts me (he's paying for all this, remember) two floors above him, his wife, and his daughter (of course). I was on seven, in the Tinkerbelle room.
The plan is, of course, that this way I cant ******** his daughter.
So, later on we're out in the park and mom and dad get tired of walking around (Mom was in a wheelchair and dad had to push. We waited three hours in the wheelchair line to go on the Pirates of the Caribbean. I just about ******** died, because I can't even stand behind someone at a register in Target, god forbid standing in an actual LINE) and went back to the resortery. Now, like good kiddies we went around and enjoyed the park, and I bought her some churros and she called me a fatpusher and then we raced and laughed and fell down laughing ontop of a field covered in flowers where we held hands and stared at the stars in the sky, with big smiles on our faces and a loving silence.
The end.
Well, not really. They left and, if you've never been to Anaheim, the sun ******** disappeared and it was night time in just about 15 minutes. We went over to Californialand and rode some ride (I can't remember the name, but she took me to the place it was named after. Mullholland Drive, I beleive) that shot you into the air and dropped you and s**t. I love those things (It was pretty sweet. Rianna wasn't a girlytype of girl (or so she thought) but the second the thing kicked in she let out this high pitch shout and her glasses flew off [which I ******** caught because I'm the man]).
In any case, after this, using my preteen sense of romanticism I took her on over to The Rainforest Cafe for a dinner date. I ate a whole appertizer plate of Kalamari and I ordered her some Garlic Bread and Clam Chowder. Then I had the staff embarress her with some Volcano ice cream concoction that neither of us ate.
And so now we were sneaking back up to floor 7, to the Tinkerbelle room, at around 7:40. I open the door, she steps in, I come in behind her and within the second I've got her on her knees with my d**k in her throat. Now, Gaia and all, let me just say we ******** for an extensive amount of time in an extensive amount of experimental procedures (After she had gone back down to Mommy and Daddy I discovered that my bed sheets had this black spot and around it this green ring. I told her, the next morning (because I pinned it to the wall) that it looked like her eyes), including, but not limited to, BUTTSECKS and ******** with some vaginal intercourse. Later on, when it was time for me to bring her home, I suggested a shower (Because sex stinks [good], for all you virgins out there) and she was pretty messed up anyways. I walk into the bathroom while she was gathering herself on the bed, and I flick on the light.
W
T
F
MY d**k WAS GREEN
So I called her in there, immediately. She came in, half dazed, and before she can ask what I've got her by the hair, rubbing her face in it like a puppy who s**t on the carpet. WHAT THE ******** IS THAT, I demand, because my d**k is normally a beige/pinkishred. She starts, hysterically, trying to understand whats happening and happens to grab a Mickey Mouse bar of soap (I took every bar of soap in there as a memento and Is till have a drawer full of white Mickeys) and brought it down to my d**k, covered in her spit from trying to explain wtf was going on. Luckily for both of us (Mostly me) when the bar was pulled away, it had some green on it.
Whew!
Would you like to know what it was?
OF COURSE YOU WOULD
Remember the Garlic Toast and Clam Chowder I ordered for her at Dinner? Well, (and feel free to try this) when mixxed together in the back on ones throat they produce a slimy green sort of phlegm that contributes wildly to the assumption that one may have contracted some sort of 'turn-your-d**k-green' disease.
Anyways, what happened after that is largely inconsequential and you don't wanna hear about it....
