Welcome to Gaia! ::

Looking forward to seeing what you do, Kyou <3

Good luck, Kyou!

Oooh, sounds interesting so far. I'm looking forward to seeing the rest of the personalities, as well as background and stuff.

Big yay for research. Especially when dealing with MPD, lots of research is good. I'm glad it's you taking it on Kyou, cause I know you'll work to make it as good and accurate as possible *snugs*

HI KYOU! ok, I know you were totally hinting at me looking at this for you the other day so here I am. >8D LET'S GET CRACKING. I'll start from your legend and history first so I don't get confused.

Legend looks good. I checked the sources and... damn... there's not much about him, is there?? xd ;; You did well with what you have.

About your history and guardian... one thing about the Lost Children is that, when they are reborn into another world, they still require a Guardian bond to survive. So who does Junichi bond to? You could have him change bonds, but that would be very dangerous and is generally discouraged. I asked Cerena about it and one thing you can do is to have Junichi bond with a sentient animal (one who could take care of him if he manages to end up without a home), and that way he could take the animal with him and be able to change homes without any damage to his guardian bond. Then Kyou could come in and... you know... invite him into his home or something and tah-dah! Not much damage to your original plot and Junichi's bond is perfectly safe. Make sure you work on this part cuz you won't be able to get your stamp without it.

Multiple personalities are a no-no in Fa'e, but in this case it seems justified. It would be weird for the Orochi not to have multiple personalities as a Fa'e, I think. xd Just make sure that everything is balanced in ALL his personalities so that they all have equally strong and weak points.

Another thing I wanted to mention was the "eight heads and eight tails" thing. Junichi has several personalities and.... no tails! You could make the tails physical (a new tail for every new personality!) but I think he'd fall over after at least four tails. rofl You could make the tails metaphorical too; for each 'head' (personality), there would be a 'tail' (a blaring weakness) to defeat it by. That, I think, would be a good path to take, because otherwise Junichi will look overpowered. Look at it this way - what's to stop him from switching personalities when he gets in a tight spot and blowing everything out of his path? You'll have to balance the personalities' strengths and weaknesses out anyway, so this may help with doing that.

Okay, now I'm going to get mean and nitpicky (even more so! 8D) on the personalities you've listed! Just remember that I love you, Kyou! xd

Junichi's personality seems fitting to me. I'll go back to him later.

Ryuuta you need to be careful with. His trigger is when someone is picking on Junichi or he's in danger, right? He needs to have a fatal weakness too - not just Junichi (which is a good weakness, but still) but something physical that can be done to kill that personality. Otherwise Ryuuta's going to end up overpowered.

Jayoku <3 Why do I have a thing for the bad guys? xd Okay, he looks good except for the fact that he has no weakness. AGAIN. Okay, there's got to be SOMETHING that can stop him otherwise he's going to go in a killing rampaging murder spree and destroy downtown Tokyo and eat newborn babies, and we don't want that, do we!? Also, what's his specific trigger? You mentioned that he hasn't come out in over a year, why is this? Think about his trigger and THINK ABOUT HIS WEAK POINTS. Otherwise he's going to end up the god-mod personality. The weakness can be something emotional or something physical, but you need to have at least one. If his trigger is difficult to trip, even better. Work it out.

Akane.. Be careful with her. We've already got a few "SEXY SEX SEX"-obsessed Fa'e running around. What's the point of this personality? To take advantage of Junichi's hormone-riddled body during those difficult teen years and help him unwind? xd xd But really, you need to round this one out a little. Unless she's like.... Junichi's hormones personified.. you need to give her something else to do when she's not busy being a raging slut. xd Also, again, no weak point.

Kioshi. He seems alright, except... again.. what's the point of this personality?? He's an observer, right, but... what's the drive for him to take over Junichi's body? Is he curious about the world? Is he there to try to resolve problems that Junichi faces? No trigger, and, once again, no weakness.

Aw, Taiki! He sound so cute! But... what's this?? He has a weakness, but... NO STRENGTHS!! Aw snap. Okay, he has a good trigger and I like that you're actually giving the personalities a chance to interact with each other here. So Taiki's the first in line to be the fall-back personality when Junichi's tired of dealing with the world? Sounds fine. I vote that you give Taiki something else to do, though, than just eating candy and making Junichi fat ( rofl ); does he... work with Kioshi to solve mysteries? Anything like that?

Okay, that's it for the personalities. Now I want to do some overall things for them. In your Legend post you mentioned that each of the 8 heads of the Orochi represents different things: "Soul, Ghost, Evil, Devil, Monstrous, Kill, The Afterworld and Death." Something cool to do would be assigning each of the personalities one of those things and maybe tweaking them a little so they'll focus around that aspect. "But then Junichi will be too evil!" You say! Nay, I say! Be clever; think about each aspect carefully and what they mean to you and what they mean to society and work it out. Jayoku will stay evil no matter what you do, but maybe - like - Akane could be Ghost for how she seems fixated on only one thing (SEX) and comes and goes, right? Junichi would be soul for being.. you know.. THE soul, and maybe Taiki would be Death because he's the fallback and overindulges himself and seems like a child.. and... I'm not making much sense am I? IT MADE SENSE IN MY MIND. Agh. Well, just do whatever seems good to you.

Another thing that I want you to consider -- and this is just more extra credit -- is how all the personalities will interact with one another in Junichi's mind. Everyone will probably hate Jayoku, of course, but maybe Ryuuta and Kioshi think Taiki is adorable but Akane thinks he's a brat? And so on. You could add an extra section to each personality and talk about what everyone else thinks of him/her. That would make it a lot more interesting.

One last thing about the personalities... I'LL SHUT UP ABOUT THEM SOON I SWEAR... Do all of them want to coexist with Junichi, or do they want to take over his body for his own, or do they want to split off into their own body or... what? What's their ulterior motive? What about Junichi himself, does he want them gone, does he like certain personalities more than other personalities, what? More extra-credit! Just mull this bit over. It may help you come up with ideas for quests and so on.

Okay, I think I'm done! This is like the longest crit I ever did emo Sorry if I repeated myself too much or something, I tend to do that when I think really hard about something xd ;; feel free to poke me for clarification/help on any of the points I made~ But.. good work!! I really like your concept! He'd be very fun to interact with. The only thing you're missing to get your stamp is 1. an explaination of Junichi's guardian bond and 2. Weaknesses/triggers for each of the personalities. The rest is just extra stuff I want you to think about. Okay? Okay! Much love to you, Kyoupuffs! Good luck in the contest!

Edit: one thing about the personalities that I ENTIRELY FORGOT TO BRING UP (+stabs self+): Are they all stemmed from Junichi (like Akane, is she his hormones personified?) or are they all meant to be separate entities from him in one body?

Glad to be of service! 8D AND ONE MORE TINY DETAIL TO YOU (that I only mention 'cuz I just saw someone get STAMP DENIED for it): In Jayoku's description, you mention that he hasn't come out for a year and seven months. This wouldn't work in the canon setting 'cuz very few Fa'e have even lived that long. All that needs to be done there is changing the wording to "He hasn't emerged since Junichi was a baby/toddler/child/goldfish" and you'll be safe.

Hokay!! *keeps those in mind* @3@;;
Man I still have alot of research and work to do eh? X'D;;

homg thank you for the approval although the quest is still full of flaws!!! TwT;; I'll work my best to complete it SOON!!!! @w@;; The reason there's only 6 personalities now is because only those other 5 had made known their presence in Junichi's head. The other 2 personalities are like... lurking or still 'asleep' in his head, they will come up to the surface eventually but that would only happen in the future!! ^^

I'm kinda glad that my time is like, so ahead of you guys... so I can actually still submit my entry/finalise the concept at my 11th!!! xd ;; And really sorry for the temporary 'abandonment' for the past week... had been trying to get back my art/writing groove... kinda lost it in the 4 days of FFXII jaming during the new years...;;; The damage of a game can be big eh? o_o;;