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 Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 8:20 pm
April 11
This morning, after lots of work unpacking and setting up, the teahouse finally opened. I was afraid Linnea might cause a bit of conflict, so I was forced to leave her upstairs with the protesting Lita (who would have probably caused even more conflich herself). Zero came in today, much to my surprise. It was great to see him though. He brought a friend of his, the one that helped with the bear that time. However, before I could thank either of them properly, they left while I was in the kitchen. I do hope they stop by again soon, since I really owe a lot to the both of them...
Later this evening, we had another guest- this one with a seedling of her own. Her name was Sai, though I can't remember the seedling's name sadly. However I do remember that the whole thing was covered with sharp spines, except for a small red blossom at the top of the plant. I felt awful; the poor mother couldn't even hug her child without being stabbed. But I could see that it didn't deter her much- she was still quite affectionate towards the seedling. Linnea showed some interest as well, though I think that the spines may have scared her a little, as she moved slowly and kept mostly to herself. Still, since that was her first meeting with another seedling, it pleased me to see that Linnea even reacted at all. If she hadn't, I think I would have been worried...
Lita went out for some fruit this afternoon, and hasn't returned yet. I know she brought her cape with her, but what if it fell off, or blew away? I worry what will happen to us if we're discovered. I myself am not quite as I appear, and Lita... How would someone from a distant village react to her, if they knew what she was? At times like these I just wish that we were still with our parents... or that we had never... so many regrets, I can't pen them all. But most of all, I wish for Litany. Whether it's my fault, or hers, I don't care. I never did. I just wish Lettie was here...
Linnea's whistling again. I brought her back upstairs, and she's in her window spot. If it's a tune she's whistling, it's not one she heard from me. It's far more alien, etherial... lilting, something that reaches deep inside you. I know that sounds corny, but it really does pull at your heartstrings. And I wonder again why Linnea is here. Why she's with me, and not with a real family. But then, I don't exactly have a real family anymore, do I? And- oh! The door downstairs just slammed- it might be Lita! I hope so, and I hope she's okay...
Until next,
~Nachan~
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 8:23 pm
April 17
I've been very busy of late, sad to say, and have neglected my writing. It isn't easy to keep the teahouse up though... especially when Hisa-san and I keep missing eachother. Though I can't blame that on her of course, and I realize that she must be having as hard a time when she can't find me. Not to mention that we're both going to be parents soon. Silverling seems to be doing well, which is nice. The last time I saw Hisa-san, she started to ask me something about family heirlooms. My mind immediately rushed to the chest upstairs, with all of the old things- from my many families. Especially the silver piece. And mine...
Two seedlings have bloomed. Absalom was first, and somehow I knew he would be. He's blind, yet has another eye. It doesn't seem to be part of him though, and sometimes I wonder if perhaps he might be posessed by a dark spirit. But that's not for me to assume. And Toshi-san seems happy at any rate. I can see why- no matter how he looks, or what he is, Absalom is Toshi-san's son...
Shin Daiko bloomed shortly after Absalom did. He seems far more cheerful, and even a bit giddy. His body is quite frail though, which worries me. A playful nature, and an easily breakable body, don't make for a harmonious childhood. But I'm sure Dio-san will be able to handle it. Perhaps when Linnea blooms, she and Shin can have a playdate? I wonder if she'd like that...
The seedling in the shop window seems more active lately, more responsive to human contact. From what I hear from Chiaku-sama, it may bloom as early as Tuesday. I'm sure that when it blooms, it will choose its own parent. Though as of now, I really have no idea who it may choose.
Linnea has had a playdate or two with Kizzy, who I think may be the next to bloom. She seems a bit scared of the Kizzer's spines, but she still likes to touch the red blossom with her own petals. I'll have to remember to make her a bed with nice, soft sheets. She seems to like soft things...
Gah, it's getting near time for me to go out. Something about a festival, and I'll have to start preparing. I don't know what I'll sell, but I'm sure I'll figure it out!
Until next,
~Nachan~
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 8:24 pm
April 20
My busyness hasn't ceased sadly, and I'm starting to think I'm neglecting Linnea. I try to spend as much time with her as possible. I take her everywhere I can, but the teahouse, and getting settled, takes more time than I thought. And we haven't even had many guests yet. I'm getting quite worried- am I a good enough parent to her?
Another seedling has been born. Nekura is quite the handsome chap, though his temper is certainly something to be considered. He's very leafy for a Fire Fae in my opinion, with very large wings. But, he seems sweet enough when he's calm. Still, I think Crimson-san's going to have her hands full...
It seems I was wrong in my predictions though, so I think I'll make some new ones. Since Neku bloomed already, I believe Silverling will be next. Then Kizzers, and then, maybe, my Linnea. Or perhaps the new seedling in the shop window will have found a master by then. I'm just hypothesizing in any event...
Everything going so fast, and so slow. I'm almost afraid I'll miss something important, or so something wrong... Litany, heaven help us all. I just hope that this family doesn't turn out like the last one...
Until next,
~Nachan~
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 8:27 pm
April 12
Today was... odd. And quite eventful, that I can say for certain. Many things, many odd things. Worries, frets. But none of this is really saying anything, is it? As usual, I'm getting ahead of myself.
Last night I had found a paper on the floor of the teahouse, and decided that today I would try to find the owner. So, packing Linnea, as well as some gifts for people I would meet in the garden wheelbarrow, I went off. I was excited about it too. I had an excuse to wander the village freely, to meet its inhabitants, and to get used to actually being... settled. Settled. Not moving anymore. But I still don't think I'm used to that...
We first went to the building behind our teahouse, which turned out to be the dojo. Crimson-san, the master there, is quite a nice woman indeed, and made us feel welcome. Though I fear I may have been a bit rude at first, but she didn't seem to take offence, thanks be. It turns out that she too has a seedling, little Nekura. Linnea seemed to like him, and definitely reacted to his presence. Yet as the paper did not belong to Crimson-san, I was forced onwards. But I do hope we can go back soon...
Our next stop was the building in front of ours, which ended up being the inn. Sai-san was there, as was Kizzy. I think she may have scared Linnea again. I do hope that when Kizzy blooms, she becomes a bit more... huggable? Perhaps not going that far, but I'm sure her mother wishes to hold her. In any event, the paper was not Sai-san's either, so we went on our way.
The store came next, my first time there. Apparently there was some sort of commotion. And then singing. A song I felt I had heard somewhere before, even though I knew I hadn't. The words were completely unfamiliar, but the melody... it transported me back. Back to before I was here. Before I was who I am now. But who was I then? My mind keeps coming up short... Anyway, I saw Grondax-san there, however he left immediately. I ran after, trying to get his attention. And that's when I tripped. And fell. And Linnea, she went flying. I don't think anything ever scared me more than that. Well, perhaps way back when. But not for a long time. It startled me a bit, honestly. Had I really forgotten fear?
Grondax-san caught Linnea. As well as helping me to a house, as it was starting to rain. I somehow managed to twist my ankle in the fall, so I needed all the help I could get. We entered the first house we saw, and I immediately tended to Linnea- refilling her bowl, comforting her, etc. When the owner of the house came in. And she was clearly not happy. Grondax-san left immediately, but asked the woman if she would let me stay, which she did, however reluctantly. Yet I felt uncomfortable intruding further, and hurried towards home. Perhaps tomorrow I can go by, and apologize better...
As we were returning to the teahouse, my eyes fell on a huge house that I had somehow failed to notice. Tomorrow I must go see what it is. But while we were there, I met a Fae. A grown one, a child. And a water one too. She took an immediate interest in Linnea, even so far as correcting me when I tried to shield her from the rain. She was very sweet, and I invited her over to the teahouse sometime as she left. I had no idea she'd take me up on that so soon though...
Linnea and I finally made it home to Lita, who clucked at me for getting into such a messy state. She was right though. My kimono is soiled as well as torn, my hat gone. I'll need to find it tomorrow. Thanks be that I had covered my head with my scarf as well, and thanks be that it is only wet, not dirty. But still I am fairly without clothes. Tonight I was forced to wear my summer dress. I hadn't worn it in so long either. The memories hurt. I'm not sure I've ever had a peaceful summer...
That was when the young Fae decided to drop by, seemingly upset. Her name, I discovered, is Momo. Interesting coincidence. I wonder when my Momo will come home, and Nike too. Anyway, she asked me questions, about why people wanted the Fae. And it scared me, it really did. I knew I would have to answer these someday, but not yet. And not to her. A Fae, someone whose life has been meddled with by us. I tried though. At least my answers didn't seem to upset her further. She seemed in a content mood when she left.
Hisa-san came down just as Momo was leaving. She seemed upset as well, and wished to talk with me. She showed me something, a flute. The most gorgeous flute I have ever seen, made from what seemed to be white jade. She said it was her family heirloom, and that there were others she had lost. That she didn't feel worthy. And then she went to bed. I hope I helped her. I'm still not sure why she told me what she did. I'm not sure what conclusions I'm supposed to draw. But I'm glad she confided in me. It makes me... happy...
I have a great deal to do tomorrow- find my hat, look at the big house. Apologize to the house owner. Perhaps she'd like some of my cookies? I'll have to make a big batch. I'll need to send Lita out then, for supplies. Starting with ice- my ankle is killing me!
Until next,
~Nachan~
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 8:29 pm
April 28
Two seedlings have bloomed in the past two days! I had thought there was a bit of a drought, but it's cleared up faster than I could have ever imagined. Apparently nature was on vacation- well deserved after the hatching of the boys- but now it's back full force!
I was correct in my predictions this time. Silverling was indeed first of the girls, and a cuter thing I have yet to see. She's truly adorable, and I can tell she'll be simply beautiful as she grows. A sweet girl as well, and friendly, and curious. Hisa-san lucked out with her, and though I doubt it'll be easy raising Xue, it should be most pleasurable...
Kizzy, on the other hand, is quite the opposite. Despite my own hopes for her, her spines haven't gone away with her birth. She's a prickly young child, with an attitude to match. Indeed, she seems to be a rather ill-tempered child, and loud at that. Sai-san will have a hard time with her I'm sure, though I still can't imagine it being less pleasurable. It's a bond after all...
And so Linnea is left. Seriva as well, though she found her master considerably later than the rest. I'm wondering how she feels. One of the last clinging to her seedling shape. Does she want to come out, to greet the world? Or is she too scared? Whatever her reason, I hope I can help, in whatever way I can...
Until next,
~Nachan~
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 8:30 pm
April 30
She's... here.
After all this time watching, waiting, wondering... she's here. For real.
I don't know what to do now. All my images of her were so... right. And wrong. She could never look like my dreams, because she is her own person. All I can hope for is to help her be who she is.
She's scared, like me. Timid, afraid of what the dawn might bring. That will be something we have to work on. But now I'm not afraid as much, since I know I have to be stronger, to help her. I want to know what the new day will bring us.
Us. Such a lovely word. There hasn't been us in far too long.
Until next,
~Nachan~
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 8:32 pm
May 9
Life. It pulls you away from imagination. Which pulls you away from life. A constant tug of war. Just what is reality anyway? I'm starting to wonder if everything to this point has just been a merry dream. And if I will one day wake up, and find myself back then. What is truth?
My days with Linnea have been full of love and life. She really is a sweet child, if a bit shy. Okay, more than a bit. I scared her at first, as did Lita. But now she seems comfortable with both of us, thanks be. Yet around the guests and such people, she's almost always trembling. Even around her family she's reserved...
Lately, Linnea has taken to playing in the garden outside. She takes little interest in the plants however. Rather, she plays with the rocks, sometimes bringing some inside. She gave me some today. My first gift from her. I set them in a special drawer, so that I can always remember. Perhaps we can both do something with some of the rocks together. Maybe if I show her that I'm interested in her interests, she'll show some more interest in everyone else...
I hope to take Linnea visiting soon. So she can meet other people, and maybe be less afraid. And so she can meet others like her. So she knows she is not alone in her differences. I too have trouble in that way. But she has already helped me. I only hope to do the same for Linnea. My daughter...
Until next,
~Nachan~
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 8:34 pm
April 13
It happened today.
I woke up late. Noon really. Lita woke me, and I hurried out of bed. We had so much to do! I hurried and dressed, and sent Lita out for ice. My ankle felt better as soon as it touched. So that was one obstacle down, thankfully. It would certainly make the rest of the day easier.
Then Hisa-san and Xue-Lien popped in. But it wasn't like before, and Xue wasn't in a pot, or a cup. She was walking. She was beautiful. She was... born. Hisa-san seemed as happy as a person could be. So did Xue-Lien, come to think of it. She's a very happy child. A sweet thing, and a wonder to be around, a fae child...
It was then that Lita came back in. Un-cloaked. It was then that I took my scarf off. I felt it was the right thing to do, especially since she had enough faith to confide in me. But what may have been scarier than revealing part of my past, was that she didn't seem to have a problem with it. That startled memore than anything, and I ran out. I realize now that it may have been rude- probably was. But I couldn't think straight. I ran out with a bag, and Lin's bowl. And then it happened...
I sat down to sort through my thought, and my belongings. And when I turned around... there she was. My daughter. Linnea was there, and... she cried. She cried! She was real! I hugged her, and she hugged back! And she was... beautiful!
I changed her into the clothes the tailor sent, and gathered everything up. I couldn't run errands, not when my daughter was here. But before we could go inside, we found another young one. Not a faeling, but a tiny animal, soaked from the previous day's rain and covered with fur. We brought it inside, hoping we could do something for the creature.
We had lots of guests today. A young woman I didn't get to talk to much, another man and a woman who left before I could get their order, and the woman. The one whose house I entered yesterday, without permission. She was with an older man, and a... a faeling. He was brown and leafy, reminding me of a tree. He seemed sweet too,and when I came over with Linnea to take their order, he tried to play with her. But she hid, scared of the people. It worried me a little, to be honest. She was so afraid of people, of life itself...
The woman offered me a package as an apology. I insisted it wasn't necessary, but she seemed to be happier once I accepted. As my own apology, I gave her a rose. A golden one, from the garden. One of the first of the spring, which she accepted as well, much to my delight. As for the parcel, I found it contained what looked like a superb pie. I'll have to try some tomorrow, because I'm sure it will be delicious. I wonder if Linnea will like it...
I left Linnea in the kitchen with Lita after a while, so the guests wouldn't scare her. Once they had all left, I closed the house early. Lita was reading, and Linnea was hiding rocks in various places. An interesting habit she's formed. She gave me a few of them, which I placed in my secret drawer for safekeeping. Perhaps we can do something with them together sometime. I want to show her that I care, and that what interests her interests me...
We went to bed early tonight. There's a lot of stuff that I- we- have to get done tomorrow. For one, there's a ton of errands I have to run. And Linnea needs to meet people she can be comfortable with. And... I have to get used to saying we.
We. What a wonderful word.
Until next,
~Nachan~
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 8:35 pm
color=indigo]
May 14
Still very busy, and tired! I'm used to hard work, but this is something that takes getting used to. It's far more... domestic, than what I'm used to doing, that is certain. Yet calming in its own way. Lita of course is a great help. And Linnea... she helps in a different way. She helps me feel love. Giving it, and perhaps even getting it.
She is still playing in the garden for long periods of time, and in the house for even longer periods of time. And everywhere she's been, I seem to find a rock, or a stone, or a pebble. All different shapes and sizes. I'm curious as to what her fascination with these is, but only time will tell I suppose. Perhaps it's just a childish phase, perhaps not...
Today she gave me another present. Another rock, of course. But this one was of a very curious shape. Pointed on one end, and oddly smooth on both sides. It reminded me of the arrowheads that Gitana used back then, or of the tops the of the fishing spears my parents sometimes used. I'm greatful Linnea didn't hurt herself when she found it. But I wonder why such a weapon would be in such a peaceful town...
Linnea has been very giving, and I'm starting to feel that I haven't given her much in return. She almost never touches her bear, and I'm thinking I may have to make a new one for her, one my other trunk arrives. However she seems to like her doll- one of the ones from the caravan, that I took as souveniers. I've been giving the others to the rest of the children in town. She takes her doll with her, and rarely lets it go. Perhaps she thinks it is her friend. But dolls and rocks will only be amusing for so long. She needs real, flesh and blood friends. Soon, I hope, she will have some...
Until next,
~Nachan~
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 8:36 pm
May 19
I just remembered that I excluded a vital piece of information from my last entry. I would write more, but the days are passing so slowly, the town becoming quiet and still. Is this what it was like before I arrived? Is this merely settling back into normalcy? One can only hope...
The last of the known Fae hatched, a few days ago. Seriva is a pretty little thing, all golden. She shimmers in the light, and is truly radiant. She's quite serious for her age, but very sweet. Zeejay is blessed to have a calm child like her. But then, all parents are blessed. I count my blessings every day, and Linnea is always first on my list.
This means that all of the Faelings are children now. Linnea has met a couple of them- Shin Daiko, Seriva... but we still have more places too go, children to meet. She's been positively scared around most people she meets, Fae included. I hope we can meet one or two she'll be able to relate to. She seemed to like Seriva and Shin enough... she was positively trembling when she met Kizzy and Nekura though, even as a seedling.
Which comes to a piece of dreadful news- Neku's mother, the wonderful Crimson, seems to have to leave Astora! I'm terrified what will happen if that is the case. The dojo will go without a master, but much, much worse, Nekura will be motherless. Homeless, loveless. I can't imagine the feelings. I hope it isn't true. But if it is, I'm sure Chiaku-sama will be able to find a solution. I hope...
Until next,
~Nachan~
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 8:38 pm
May 22
The event I have been dreading has come to pass. One of the many, but even so. I am filled with sorrow as I write this, but I know that my sadness won't help anything. We have to be strong. Still, I know that the heavy feeling in my heart isn't likely to leave anytime soon...
Crimson-san has left Astora.
I wish that I had gotten to know her more. Of all the parents, she's probably the one I was least connected to. Even though we were neighbors, I never really went by to visit her. Only the one time. I told her I would again soon, but I didn't. And now it's too late. All possibilites vanished. Part of me is glad- it would have been worse had our friendship been more than what it was. But I still wish I could have known more about her. Maybe I could have helped...
Nekura willlive with Cordain-san from now on. I'm sure that he'll make a good father. But I am still worried. Nekkie was a bit troublesome even as a seedling. Now as a Fae, one who has been abandoned by the only family he has... how will he respond?
All the Fae were abandoned to begin with. To have it happen again... I am too heartsore to continue...
Until next,
~Nachan~
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 8:39 pm
June 17
I apologize for not writing. In all honesty, there has been precious little to write about. The days seem to each last an eternity, but nothing ever happens anymore. Our governess, Chiaku-sama, is busy with political issues. Everyone seems to be keeping to themselves. No one's shown up at here for food lately. Perhaps it's the end of spring fever, or is there something else behind it?
Someone has changed, at least. Absalom is no longer a toddler, but a child. And a beautiful one at that. He still seems as quiet as ever, but a bit more interested in the world. If Absalom has grown, it won't be much longer for the others. Even Linnea. It seems like just yesterday I saw her as nothing more than a simple flower, and here we are...
I can only hope that the people that brought me to this place, the vitality, the joy... that it all returns. And while I hate being hasty, the sooner it happens, the better...
Until next,
~Nachan~
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 8:41 pm
Buffynick A little package arrived at Lin and DS's doorstep. Inside was a note along with a few moving toys. Note Hey Lin!! DS has told me lot's about you. Eragon and I would love to have you both over sometime!! Eragon picked these babies out just for you! Enjoy them; I think they are gorgeous! Buffy & Eragon   
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 8:43 pm
July 11th (oh so late...)
So much has changed, I know not where to begin. My time for writing seems to grow shorter as each day brings new challenges, but even with that I can't believe I let my recordings fall so far behind...
I'm hedging the issue again. Must try to stop that bad habit as well...
Nearly everyone has grown by this point. After Absalom and another came Silverling. She's quite a beautiful child, and still as friendly as ever. Then was Shin, shortly after Linnea met with him. He seems a handome young sprout (if you will excuse the pun), although he seems to be a bit shy as well. After that came Kizzy, who seems remarkably... Kizzyish. While I had no clear picture in my mind of what she would be like, now that I have seen her, she seems perfectly herself. Thought that may not always be a great thing for surrounding children. Like the next to grow, Seriva. The Golding seems fierce and serious, and I hope she allows herself to have fun as well.
I mentioned one other after Absalom. That was not Nekura, who is still an infant, but my own Linnea. She is simply... magnificent. Still shy, yet so sweet and caring. She is everything I wanted and so much more. It may sound cliche, but truly, I am so happy when I am with her. I can only hope our future days remain as happy as these are, but I fear they may not. Not with my past...
Until next,
~Nachan~
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004 8:51 pm
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