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 Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 7:55 pm
I'm open to critique of any kind. heart
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Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 6:11 pm
((YOU WIN MY HEART FOREVER FOR DOING SEDNA. Just...fyi. XD <3 for that lady~~~ <3x1mil.))
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Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 8:22 pm
Thank you~ biggrin
*tucks heart away in a treasure box for safe keeping* heart
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Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 10:22 pm
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Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 1:07 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 1:21 pm
Unfortunately, I can't offer you a stamp until your "Lost Child" section is completed. sad So, I shall give you a quick critique so that your time is not wasted!
"Naïve, forgiving, loyal, selfish, quiet, somewhat egotistical. " Please expand on each of these points! That is, how she is naive, how she is forgiving (under what circumstances, for what reasons, ect) -- to be honest, some of these seem kind of contradictory. Some further explanation will probably add a lot of depth to your character.
How does she get her name (especially if her guardian isn't Swahili?)
Also, please expand on your appearance section, especially if you're going to be entering the Lost Children contest!
What's the range on her piercing shriek? Do all animals rush to her aid, or only some, and only sometimes? What if she's in a place where she can't be reached by them?
"How do the powers and your character relate back to your mythos?" I think it would actually be better if you explained things along the way -- as in, how her abilities relate back to her mythbase in her abilities section, how her personality relates in her personality section, ect.
I can't wait to read your section on the Inuit Culture, I've always been extremely curious about it. =D
Ok, that's about it so far! Let me know if you have any questions or complaints.
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 9:16 pm
Thanks Cere. <3
I was at a bit of a loss as to where to take this next (aside from the things that aren't up yet). XD
I think I can work from a new angle now.
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