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 Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 7:27 pm
Maeko, if you read her diary rules, it says that Arrien has approved Shia's quest. ^^ They were questing at the same time, so Arri is okay with it.
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Posted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 3:29 pm
My apologizies...Like I said, i read it quickly...and I only checked the story, since that's what seems to be [in my opinion] the important part.
Sorry Shia.
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Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 1:56 pm
*licks Maeko* I appreciate the concern, though, very much so!
And good luck, Shia; I'm rooting for ya!
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Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 10:46 am
<3 thanks, guys. Particularly you, Arri. I'd dearly love to be able to rp with you and Dusty if/when I get Clae and she's old enough to hold her own against the little fireball. ^^
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:21 am
I haven't forgotten this, I swear. I just need to find some -time-.
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Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 6:21 pm
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Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 7:42 pm
For my reference only. Please don't bother it.
Nevermind
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Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 8:20 pm
 Clae quest is officially- APPROVED! (-proved, -proved, -proved....) .... Hey, echo! (echo, echo, echo....) Hm..... THUNDERCATS, THUNDERCATS, THUNDERCATS, HOOOO! (hoooo!, hoooo!, hoooo!....) I'm done dorking. XD
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Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 7:34 am
Yay Thundercats! ^^ Yay stamp! Yay revamping! OMG, I should totally be working on schoolstuffs instead, though. crying *torn*
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 7:02 am
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Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 10:06 am
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Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 7:15 pm
Yay for Clae! (LOOK AT THAT, BEAUTIFUL RYHYMING. xD)
Okay, now that that's out of my system, I shall provide with some handy, dandy 100% free Sheepcat critique.
Let's just focus on her profile for a minute. I can see all of her dislikes (you've balanced the dislikes based off her past life and just normal dislikes very nicely), but I'd just like to ask you why she likes seaweed. You don't have any guardian information up, which makes me wonder a) where she gets it and b) how she would eat it in the first place. I encourage you to fill out the guardian spot to get a feel for the world, and then use that world to give Clae a few more likes and dislikes that relate to her personality/her surroundings. Moving onto her personality, I'd like to see more on her teen personality. Seeing as the Lost Child contest is coming up I think it'd be in your best interest to add some length to this and give the reader more of a feel for what Clae is like in every day life. Also, you don't mention anywhere what she's afraid of. Dislikes are good, but being afraid of things would give her a new kind of depth you haven't really gone into in her teen personality. Finally, you mention Clae playing with other children, and then change it to her not being "good with people." I understand why you've created this division but I'd focus more on the fact that she would develop her leadership when she meets other people, as opposed to her being a leader but not coming into contact with people other than her guardian. Am I making any sense? ^^;;
The appearance section is very good. I like how you've broken it down, and I encourage you to write more and find some pictures of Excalibur. If you can find a good picture with any distinguishing marks (besides the words) try and incorporate it into her appearance. I just think that'd be cool if she's got shiny, metallic hair or something like that.
Flesh it out a bit, do that guardian profile, and I shall peek back in to see how it goes! Go Shiaree go! xD
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Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:28 am
Other than a terror of being used for evil, I was drawing blanks. That's pretty much the reason her personality is so incredibly sparse-- I just could not fill in the blanks. I'm still contemplating what direction to go with her in that respect-- how does one give a sword personality? xD
I can't even seem to find the sword with the celtic symbols I want on it. And honestly, Excalibur is interpreted so many different ways it'd be crazily complicated if I tried to incorporate any more into her, just because I don't know what's close to accurate and what's way off. I tend more towards believing the sword itself wasn't all -that- impressive to look at other than the symbols, so that's sort of why Clae herself is very simplistic. Also, making sure she's got sharp features, etc, for the swordliness. I'll try to work on that more, I just haven't had time lately.
As far as the guardian, I'm still working out the details on him. The seaweed was more for her previous incarnation, but I thought it was interesting and quirky so I'll probably have it work into the homeworld/guardian details too, as you suggested. I like that idea. ^_-
...and now I have inspiration. <3 this should be good.
Edit: Ah, I remember why I kept the seaweed now. It has to do with her being in the lake with the Lady and all that jazz. I should explain that, though, so thankyou for pointing it out.
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Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 2:15 pm
Objects (kinda like animals) are hard to give human personality traits, so I can understand about that. You might want to say that she's really stubborn, as Excalibur "refused" to come out of the stone accept for Arthur. With that same example she could be picky about who she is friends with, she could only want a couple of friends over a large group of friends or she could even only want one best friend in which she'll be the loyal sidekick to forever. You could even drag in the Knights of the Round table and Clae could want a table of knights under her command. xD
I've found sites that say that Excalibur is the symbol of Arthur's royalty and nobility so perhaps even drag that into it. I can sorta see Dusty as the scabbard who eggs on the sword, and then the sword as the noble and just one. A noble sword of great descent. Something like that.
As far as appearance goes, sharpness is good, but what about some metallic bits on her? Little slits of shiny steel, or celtic knot inscriptions along her arms as if they were along the hand guard of the sword. Even if you can't find the symbols you want on the sword, find a good picture of the symbols you want on something else. You could even have little bits of ivy wound around her feet and up her legs (I'm speaking specifically from the Sword in the Stone Disney movie in which Excalibur gets covered in vines because nobody can pull it out. How accurate that is I have no idea, but I'm just throwing out ideas. ^^) The simplistic look is a good idea, but a few more little unique tidbits would be pretty cool.
And I see the seaweed now. Didn't even think about that. Fear-wise perhaps she could fear pure darkness, being controlled or abused... uh... what do swords not like? Water? Rust? Getting broken?
Also, teh Sheepcat is a she. ^_^
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Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 6:56 am
XD Sorry, I go by the Avvie unless I get information otherwise. <3
The only problem with the Sword in the Stone references is that Excalibur wasn't the Sword in the Stone. Only in the Disney version was it. Excalibur actually came along later, after that one was broken in battle, and was given to Arthur by the Lady of the Lake at the suggestion of Merlin. xD
I like the rest, though! Including the ivy, because even if she's not the sword in the stone, it makes sense to me somehow. Perhaps use lilypad vines instead of ivy to make it make more sense? XD
I like the idea of her wanting to seek out the "Knights" in some fashion. I had thought of that being part of her questage and her NPCS and stuff. Perhaps she can want to form her own version of the Knights? Once she comes to terms with her leadership insecurities, as I really like that idea.
I did want to go a sort of royalty/nobility route with her. I just couldn't figure out how to word it. I was aiming for the feminine version of the Knights, a sort of Lady like Kaylee in Quest for Camelot if you've seen that.
As far as fears-- I know for certain right now that she has a fear of being used for evil purpose, as she thinks that that will break her again (as we designed that the first way the sword 'dies' is when it is used for an evil purpose due to enchantments against it, etc) I might work with rust somehow, though. That's an interesting idea. ^^ And possibly 'getting broken' in the sense that she's very careful about getting injured? Willing to let others do the dirty work for her, etc?
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