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Vague
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Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2004 11:17 am

JoVo

Vague

I love "By Candlelight", actually. It just needs repunctuating.

whee

You misunderstand. Grammatically, it's fine. But poetically, it's awful. Your punctuation is a major part of what ruins the rythm.

Also reread my first post in this thread, I edited it.

Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2004 11:44 am

Vague

You misunderstand. Grammatically, it's fine. But poetically, it's awful. Your punctuation is a major part of what ruins the rythm.

That, and my callous breaking of sonnet structure rules.

JoVo

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Vague
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Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2004 11:49 am

JoVo

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You misunderstand. Grammatically, it's fine. But poetically, it's awful. Your punctuation is a major part of what ruins the rythm.

That, and my callous breaking of sonnet structure rules.

Ah, that explains the way it's laid out. I was sleepy, didn't realize it was meant to be a sonnet. I hope you don't change it too much, if you do, send me a copy of the current draft so it's not forgotten.

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