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 Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 3:51 pm
Yeah, I agree with the people saying that it's an issue of sacrifice. I've never really been in love in a romantic way, but I really love my sister and a few of my plutonic girl friends.
I see the difference between loving and liking someone is rationality. Rationally, you should keep those cookies to yourself because they taste so good. Rationally, you should have spent those last 4 hours doing homework rather than listening to their problems over the phone. That kind of stuff. The whole "die for them" anology is a bit intense, but it's true in a sense. If someone that I had a crush on was at gunpoint, I would hide and feel bad for them. If my sister was at gunpoint, though, I'd do everything to help her.
Basically, love makes no sense. Which is almost what makes it so wonderful I guess.
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Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 5:34 pm
What is love? I could sit here and argue pages upon pages about what love is and still not have an answer. I consider myself to be a hopeless romantic, but then again I might just be hopeless. One thing that I have come to realize is thet there is a big simularity between your enemies and your best friends. That is with both of these people you can easily give more bad qualities than good. It is because of this that I have told multiple people that do not love someone for who they are, but despite who they are.
When it come to relationships I may not be the best person to come to for advice, but people seem to come to me anyway. Until May last year I had never had a girlfriend, and unfortunately that has not seemed to last. I guess you can't learn everything from watching other peoples misteaks. I know that I have a tendancy to let my emotions rule my thought which is why I will normally wait three months before I act on any form of attraction that I feel toward someone. I figure if it doesn't last that long then it wasn't love it was lust. Go figure I didn't actually wait with the person I ended up dating, because I had only felt that strongly for one other person, and the feeling I have for that other person still didn't go away. Again I might be hopeless, but I am a firm believer that when you love someone you can't always explain why you feel that way, but you also know that even if passion fades you will still love that person, and always enjoy their company.
One way to proove love to yourself in my opinon is to wait wait on the relationship, and wait on moving forward. It annoys me when I hear someone say that they had sex because they love each other. If you love each other then you should love each other enough to wait until you are married. And I say this full well understanding the difficulties of this I am a 20 year old male college student. I still don't plan on having sex before I'm married, and I don't plan on getting married until after my 5 to 6 years at college. True love never fades use that to your advantage.
Any way I rant about thi subject way to much. I can't tell you what love is when you feel it you will know. Until then good luck,and I hope you don'tend up as hopeless as I seem to be ^^.
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High-functioning Businesswoman
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Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 6:17 pm
Except that loving someone despite their flaws as if you're saying you don't want to acknowledge and love that part of them. Loving a person because of their flaws implies that you wouldn't have them any other way, and you really do love them, warts and all.
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Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 6:23 pm
I guess that your right I probably should have phrased that a little better. People would not be as fun, or as loveable if it wasn't for their flaws. But what I was trying to get at is that if you really love someone you would love them no matterwhat their flaws. It does not matter if you find out that they did someything horrendous in your opinion, you would still love them. It is not that you arn't acknowledging the fact that that side of them is there, you just love them anyway, even if you don't agree with it.
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Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 1:44 pm
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Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 9:29 am
Love is, in a sense, both and feeling and a verb... If you dont feel some sort of an attraction to thatt person, be it physical or personality, youre less likely to love them... But it also goes wayyy beyond thatt... thelovelyLIZ is rightt about there being different kinds of love... I always thoughtt thatt i have fallen in love twice... and to a point i have... let me tell you the story...
When i was 15 i met this guy at my youth group and we startedd to like eachother but i wasnt allowed to date until i was 16... so we kinda just flirtedd a bit and i talked about him with my friends all the time... you know the full out crush reaction... then he stopped coming to youth in may i guess andd i didnt hear from him again until augest... thenn he startedd telling me thatt he loved me and all this and i actually believed him... then i foundd out thatt he already had a gf and was doingg drugs and such... I wass hurtt sooo badly... but despite my friends telling me i should stop having anythign to do with him, I continued to be there for him and talk to him because i knew he could be more than he was... in march i finally convinced him to come to youth again... i hadd soo much funn with him thatt i started to think thatt perhaps we could be somethingg... and he made it seem thatt that wass possible... but then he again gott a gf andd i again was hurtt... my heart would break anytime i would thinkk about him... i would deny thatt i liked him when people would ask me... I was talking to my friend once and i guess i said something about the guy and she was like 'you really loved him didnt you?' and i was like 'yeah, i think i always will, just nott in the same way.' I did 'love' him... But i wasnt willing to give everything to make him see it... I still love him and care about him... But now im really IN love with my current bf...
Which is another story... my bf now is the one i plan on being with the rest of my life... I'm willing to do anything for him and him for me... When I'm with him no matter where we are I feel such a contentment... I can be myself with him no matter whatt and know he'll never see me any differently... It's insane we're soo much a like... It's awesome... Kinda weirdd when people ask us if we're related but we gett a good laugh out of it!... We both know it's goingg to be over 6 years before we can get married... Because we are both planning on going to college for 4 years and im stayingg behind one year and we cant get married right after we graduate... He's planning on goingg to australia for 2 years of college and it's goingg to be hard but i know we can get through it... Thats another way i know i love him... even tho i dont like the idea of us being literally a world apart and i'll miss him soo much, I want him to go because he feels that's where God is leading him... I want him to have the BEST in life... Even if that means he's not with me...
Love is knowing thatt that special someone is the one for you but being willing to let them go... Knowing that no matter what happens they'll always be there... Knowing you can count on them... Knowing YOU want to be there for THEM at all times... and SHOWING them thatt... Knowing that life will never go back to normal... that you'll never lose that feeling of belonging to someone... Love is an amazing thing thatt you'll continue to learn about as life goes on... But dont sell yourself short just becuase you think you love someone... make sure you KNOW you love them before telling them... it hurts a lot less if you find out thatt theyy dont feel the same wayy...
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Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 2:47 pm
Fushigi na Butterfly Except that loving someone despite their flaws as if you're saying you don't want to acknowledge and love that part of them. Loving a person because of their flaws implies that you wouldn't have them any other way, and you really do love them, warts and all. Actually studies show that couples who idealize one another are happier and stay together longer than those who focus on the others flaws. Granted, I do agree on loving someone because of their flaws.
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Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 8:15 pm
thelovelyLIZ Fushigi na Butterfly Except that loving someone despite their flaws as if you're saying you don't want to acknowledge and love that part of them. Loving a person because of their flaws implies that you wouldn't have them any other way, and you really do love them, warts and all. Actually studies show that couples who idealize one another are happier and stay together longer than those who focus on the others flaws. Granted, I do agree on loving someone because of their flaws. ^^ I tend to idealize most people, then again I love most people. The only way someone is not my friend is if they decide that they are not. Even than if they change their mind I try and let them. However, this is great with friends but I'm 20 and only got my first girlfriend a little over half a year ago. I wonder sometimes if the morals I follow are a good thing or just get in the way. Either way I follow them though. ...sorry tangent sweatdrop
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Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 10:37 pm
Actually, I find that the Matrix explained it adequately.
As summerized at thematrix101.com:
"...Why do these [computer] programs care what happens to Sati [their created daughter]? Why did they create her in the first place? The answer is love. Not love as a human emotion obviously, but love as a word denoting a profound connection between entities. As [one of the programs] explains it, love is just a word. What matters is the meaning you attach to the word. These programs are experiencing a profound connection to each other, one that they're using the word 'love' to describe, since it's as good a word as any, and it shares a reasonably close meaning with Neo's understanding of the word."
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Posted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 7:53 pm
i want to love God forever. I want to learn to love him
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High-functioning Businesswoman
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 7:49 pm
thelovelyLIZ Fushigi na Butterfly Except that loving someone despite their flaws as if you're saying you don't want to acknowledge and love that part of them. Loving a person because of their flaws implies that you wouldn't have them any other way, and you really do love them, warts and all. Actually studies show that couples who idealize one another are happier and stay together longer than those who focus on the others flaws. Granted, I do agree on loving someone because of their flaws.
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Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 8:15 pm
I'm not experienced at all. I've only had 2 and neither ended... well. lol. So this is my idea... It may not be Biblically correct... and I apologize...
Dictionary definition: NOUN a) the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God, b) a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person, c) a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend; VERB a) to have love or affection for, b) to need or require; benefit greatly from, c) to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person)
But those are just definitions. I think love can be either over- or under-rated. And it depends upon whom you are... loving of the depth of your love.
Like I love my family and friends, but I'm not going to marry them. I will eventually love my husband and want to spend the rest of my life with him. And the Love I have for God is the deepest I'll ever know.
I think love is a thing and a verb as one. You must have love to love. You must love to have love. (If that makes sense...) As a thing, it's what makes you want to cry and laugh, sing/dance and hide, fight to the death and stay where you're safe. It's what brings opposites together. As a verb, it's what you give, it's what you get. It does things to you and you can do IT (you can love).
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 8:12 pm
Oh man... my friends and I have discussed this topics for hours on end multiple times. The conclusion that I've come to is this: there are multiple kinds of love which must all be defined in their own way. I think they are discussed in CS Lewis' Mere Christianity. Might've been another of his books though.
First, there is love of people/things we don't really know. For example, we don't want to hear about murders because it means somebody died. We give money to charities hoping that somebody somewhere will have a better life because of it.
Second, there is a love of our friends and family. We know them, so there is a much more emotional attachment. We would miss them if they were gone. We want them to do well, to succeed, to learn, to be the best possible person they can be, sometimes even if that means letting them go thru a hard time when they need to. After all of the discussions I've had, I'd say crushes are still in this catergory.
Third is romantic love. This definitely is accompanied by the most emotion of the loves. When this comes to bear fruit (marriage), it becomes a promise to be there for that person whether you like them or not, whether they like you or not. It is a promise to be the biggest positive influence in that person's life. It is a promise to always put the needs of that person before your own, apromise to build them up as much as possible "til death do you part."
The fourth love is the unconditional love that God has for us. It is a love so deep that we cannot quite ever reach it in our imperfect state. While we cannot reach it yet, we can understand it now. It is a fully selfless love. One with zero strings attached. God loves everyone the same, even if you're the worst blasphemer on Earth. Imagine loving somebody with every fiber of your being, even when they don't even acknowledge that you exist. That is this kind of love.
One thing that all four of these have in common is a desire for perfection in another. That, I believe, is the most basic nature of love, the desire for improvement in another. Love is an action that you choose, not an emotion that you feel. You choose to help a person become the best that they can be physically, mentally, and most importantly, spiritually.
Side note: A crush is infatuation and attraction. Neither of these are bad, and can easily lead to what we refer to as romantic love. They are not, however, love in and of themselves. You hear about married couples who can't stand to be around each other, but do because they choose to love each other.
Hope this huge mess of a post was helpful. PM me if you've got questions about this.
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Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 10:21 am
"What is love?
Baby don't hurt me, no more"
rofl
I can't believe I was the first one to bring up the Haddaway song.
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Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 4:54 pm
Captain_Theoretical Crush is where you find someone attractive. Physically attractive, attractive personality, it's all attractive. You like that person, but not exactly as a friend. Love is where you get to know the person and you want to spend the rest of your life with them and you would do anything for them. At least that's what the media tells me, I've only ever had crushes. I've never been in love. The difference between doing something out of love and out of obligation is when you do something out of love you want to do it, and when you when you do something out of obligation you feel like you should do it. I agree completely, and know the feeling 100%!
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