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 Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 4:25 am
Yes...but if you restrict yourself to one subject, you loose creativity
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 4:33 am
That is what new topics are for.
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 4:42 am
Yes...but why create needless complication...Besides, I can make no more comments until Jaiye posts some more.
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 5:01 am
Then post your own like I did!
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 9:42 am
nobody listens to you. now a very good start. i want to reserve an advance of the full version, but i have to agree with solo and si
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 10:12 am
Second chapter is a BIG improvement on the first (which really should be at least two...maybe even written in the first person..). But the speech could still do with tweeking
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 12:15 pm
Just finished reading both posts... *phew*
As Solo said, (no pun intended), the second chapter is a VAST improvement over the first. Interesting story, but I knew that anyway - however there are some grammar changes / corrections to be made in places and a few words could be replaced with more fitting ones. Waiting for the next post... xd
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 2:47 pm
Wiggster nobody listens to you. now a very good start. i want to reserve an advance of the full version, but i have to agree with solo and si I'll just tell you Wiggy that you need to listen to me because I have to keep the standard of the forum high. So, capital letters, complete sentences and no making fun of the moderators because we do have the power to ban you even if we won't use it unless forced to. Also Wiggy I would like to make the point that more people listen to me than you!
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 3:00 pm
Fair comments guys!
So what should i do with the first chapter... Split it in half? Tweek the words (when i further my knowledge of the language of the time).
*Bit reluctant as likes it the way it is, but wants to make it better.*
But one thing. As for tweeking the speeking bits, the story isn't set in medieval era as you guys seem to think... It is set in a fantasy world, like Lord of the Rings. So i am still a bit confused as to why i should "Tart" up the speeking parts...
I'll post chapter three tomorow hopefully, too tired to edit it all into a format for gaia at the moment... XP Goodnight!
*Had a busy day.*
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 3:07 pm
I noticed it is not medieval, but you need to think of context. The speaking does make it seem a little unbelieveable (as believable as a story about dragons could be). As for the first chapter....I suggest at least split it in 2, and make it from Jonas's point of view.
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 3:16 pm
and_solo_said I noticed it is not medieval, but you need to think of context. The speaking does make it seem a little unbelieveable (as believable as a story about dragons could be). As for the first chapter....I suggest at least split it in 2, and make it from Jonas's point of view.
And besides, Lord of the Rings doesn't have much more strange language than my'ne does... And i based it on those books so how can the speeking bits be out of context?
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 5:14 am
If you intend to publish, then you need to remember that this is not free expression, this is marketing. The fantasy audience expect a medieval theme, it is not for you to dictate the market, but instead it is for you to cater for it
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 8:55 am
and_solo_said If you intend to publish, then you need to remember that this is not free expression, this is marketing. The fantasy audience expect a medieval theme, it is not for you to dictate the market, but instead it is for you to cater for it
WTF!?!?
Since when was all fantasy novels based in medieval times? This is a made up era, just like LotR's and Eragon were. They weren't based on Medieval times and neither is this. If it was, would the females be wearing trousers? Would they be the heroines? Would they be chosen above males to become leaders? I think not! They would be cleaning, cooking, and raising screaming brats.
Please stop thinking this is based on medieval, it really isn't... i wrote it, i should know... I even created all the places, races (except Elves!), names and even made a map to show it all. Please stop assuming you know the context and details of my story, or what the audience want. You are one person, your opinion does not account for all those who read Fantasy novels.
You need to know that... I am my own person with my own ideas and individuality, there is noone else like me that i know of. I do not "Cater" for other people...
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 8:59 am
First, sexism was created in the renaissance. Women were equal until then, and could do as they pleased..ever heard of Joan of Arc? And LOTR was medieval, anyone can see that. I am not saying that all fantasy has to be medieval, but yours clearly has medieval overtones.
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:58 am
No offence ment, but I must agree with Jaiye. As she said fiction can be written any way the author wants to write it. A good example of a fictional novel that you would expect to be in an old english language, is Piers Anthony's On a Pale Horse and the rest of the Incarnations of Immortality series.
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