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 Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 9:50 pm
"Maybe I'll... 'borrow' it from Neko sometime and let you see it," he told her, his own interest perked. They never did figure out exactly HOW the soul had escaped from the gem.
Demare smirked, unable to help the snort he let out from keeping in his laughter.
"Come on, Chandra. If you had to be stuck with me your whole life, wouldn't you be glad to get away, too?"
It was the truth, and he was fine with that. He really didn't care if someone hated him; unless, of course, it was Clare or Karan. Then he would care.
"Clare is, or was, very dependant on me in the past. I'm not surprised that he feels differently now... However, I'm selfish, so I won't let him get what he wants," he half lied.
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Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 1:32 pm
Chandra paused to think about that. What would it be like to be stuck with someone her whole life? It would depend greatly on who they were, she thought - and Demare did not make her think of Kiran.
"Do you hurt Clare?" She asked, trying to understand why Clare might not want to be stuck with Demare. The emotions that motivated 'like' and 'dislike' intrigued her. "I do not see why being 'stuck' with you would be any worse than being stuck with someone else. Should it not be comforting to be with someone who knows you?"
Her cheeks flushed oddly as she applied that thought to her own life. It was a remnant of the time she had spent human, she couldn't stop the rush of heat and color that accompanied the emotion thoughts of Dare evoked.
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Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 10:45 pm
Demare actually had to think about that for a moment. Mentally, he checked to make sure Clare was actually still sleeping before he said anything.
"I'm sure I do," he said rather quietly, his eyes falling half closed as he looked concerned. "Not physically, of course. I would never want to cause him any physical harm... Don't tell him that, though."
He paused for a moment before continuing. "Well, the thing is, is that I know Clare more than he knows me. He hasn't recovered all of his memories yet, so I guess you could say that to him I could very well still be a stranger. He remembers most things now, but... I don't know. He's really different from how he was in the past. It's like he's another person, but still Clare... if that makes sense."
Noticing the color appearing on her cheeks, he couldn't help but smirk, and oddly enough, blush slightly himself. For some reason, he thought that was cute.
"So you DO get some color from time to time..."
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Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 9:49 am
"It makes sense," Chandra nodded, her blush receding as she carefully pushed it from mind. "People can be themselves without always being the same."
She didn't want to talk about the color in her cheeks. It was stupid, a weakness - and an obvious one too. But Demare had been open with her about Clare, so it was perhaps expected she be open as well.
"I did not blush prior to having been alive, but I did then, and now that I am again less than Living - I still do on occasion. It is completely unnecessary and irritating." She glared at Demare, not wanting him to tease her about this.
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Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 11:01 am
Demare gave her a bit of a cheesy smile, waving a hand in an attempt to say that he would leave her alone about it. After all, if it was what he was thinking, then nothing had to even be said. He remembered what it was like to like someone, even if he couldn't remember the feeling itself.
"Meh, it happens," he said, folding his hands together and resting them on his stomach as he slouched back against the couch again. "Sometimes people can't help how they feel, much less explain it. ...At least, that's what it seems like to me."
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Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 11:11 am
"I wish to control it." She studied the back of one pale hand, looking at the length of her nails. They would need to be cut again soon. "I do not like to be influenced by something I do not understand. I want to have absolute control."
While it was a ridiculous statement, she was absolutely serious.
"If the heart were truly the seat of emotion, I would gladly cut out my own. These things lead only to pain and betrayal."
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Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 11:36 am
"Hmph. I hear you on that one," he said with a smirk, feeling the same. "Emotions are a good part of the reason people can't be trusted. If nobody had them, maybe there would actually be some peace because no one would be angry and start to fight."
"And having complete control would be nice..."
That was something Demian wished he had. Perhaps that was what Clare really wanted, as well...
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Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 2:54 pm
"I trust anger. I trust fear." Chandra looked up at Demare, her pupils narrowing in the light. "I trust emotions which I can explain. They lead people in predictable directions and so are useful to me. But I do not trust emotions which cause erratic and unpredictable behavior."
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Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 11:10 pm
"Such as love?" he piped up, unable to help himself.
"I suppose that's true... but what about those times in which the things you trust become unpredictable? Emotions rule over the body... but they do not control the mind completely. What then of the things you trusted? What of that betrayal?"
Demain wasn't a very forgiving person. Once betrayed, he held a grudge that seemed to last forever. Even when the person is long since dead.
"Perhaps it's just me. I find it hard to trust most people, so I guess I doubt a lot."
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Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 10:13 am
"Love is the worst," Chandra said, raising her voice a little. "It is not at all rational. I should be able to explain it and I cannot."
She sighed, a little breath of hair, and then visibly relaxed - purposefully calming herself.
"I have never been betrayed," Chandra's voice was cold and controlled. "But I have betrayed in the past - and I fear I will do it again. Not this time to one I do not care for, but to one who I do. I believe I trust others more than I do myself."
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Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 12:39 pm
Demare noted the raised voice over the question, and decided it best not to mention it again. He didn't want to make her angry, as he had no intention of doing so. However, had this been someone else, he would have poked and proded them endlessly by now.
Lifting his hands, he stared at his palms for a moment. Only his fingers really poked out through the bandages, his grayed flesh dull even from the light in the room. Betrayal was something Demian knew a lot of... It was because of that, that he and Clare died. Had Karl not done what he did to them, maybe... just MAYBE... none of this would be happening to them.
"It must be nice to trust yourself," he finally said, resting his arms down by his sides. He could feel Mordanath's wings twitch against his right side, as if trying to sooth him. "I'm still not sure if I can even do that much."
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Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 12:28 pm
"I do not trust myself with this emotion," Chandra said, looking at Demare's hands. She didn't know what he saw there. "I only trust myself when I am in control, when I am rational."
She sighed again, twice in such a short time, Demare had certainly chanced on a subject that concerned her.
"It was easier before I was one of the Living. Now, even if I am removed, I remember what it was like to be in the throes of Life. I remember what it is like to be caught up in the colors and the sounds and the rush of time."
She turned her eyes to Demare's face, studying it seriously.
"The red of your hair reminds me of him."
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Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 1:50 pm
Lazily, Demare turned his head enough to face her, his bangs and the long lock of hair slipping down to cover a good part of the right side. For a moment, while only the white eye was exposed, it grew wide as it stared at Chandra. It returned to normal as the halfling brushed the reddish brown hair away from his face, a bit of a confused look taking on the child's features.
"Remind you of whom?" he asked curiously, wondering who it was that seemed to have the same hair as him. He didn't recall meeting anyone with the same color of hair before.
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Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 2:23 pm
"Another Legend." Chandra looked away, feeling odd. "He knows me better than anyone. And at the same time, sometimes I think he does not know me at all."
She curled her arms around herself, rubbing a palm against the other arm as if she were cold.
"I think he fears me, but also maybe - cares for me."
Having admitted that, she couldn't look Demare in the eye. This was all much to silly to actually be talking about.
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Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 2:42 pm
Demare merely watched her reactions, figuring the Legend she was talking about was the one she'd fallen for. Did everyone get like that when they thought of the person they liked? He'd noticed that Xiao did the same kind of thing when speaking of someone named Hannah; he couldn't look anyone in the eye when he spoke, and normally he hugged an arm as if he were cold.
Looking away, his thoughts suddenly turned to Karan. It was strange how he seemed to think the same way of him, yet couldn't explain why he even doubted.
"I wonder... if he feels the same..." he muttered softly, looking away. "Is it really possible for one to care for someone if they fear them...? Or is the fear even there at all?"
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