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 Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2025 6:31 pm
“Vyn,” he said softly, leaning a little across the table. “You’re not stupid,” he said gently, watching Vyn with care and concern. “You’re not anything bad that you think you are. Not to me, and not to Lyndin, either.”
He hesitated, twisting his hands together in his lap before blurting out the thought that was hovering in his head anyway.
“He asked you to help because he wants you there. He trusts you. I know he does. He always has. That’s not pity, or just trying to make you feel better. That’s him needing you, Vyn.” He paused to draw in a shaky breath.
“You don’t have to pretend with him. Or with me. You don’t have to know exactly what you’re doing, either. You’ve been through so much, all of us have. But we’re still here. We’re still doing what we can. And if you feel humiliated…” he started, biting his lip a bit anxiously. “I promise I’ll never say anything about it again. Not to him or anyone. It’ll just stay here with me. You’re not alone in this, Vyn. You never were.”
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Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2025 6:31 pm
Vyn was stupid. (He wasn’t.) This was a universally accepted fact back home. (It wasn’t. Not really.) He had come to Earth young and simple minded. Though he had changed a great deal since then, there were a few core truths that remained: He did not like research. He hated writing reports almost as much as he hated reading them. He grew bored and restless long before everyone else. He did not like analyzing data. Vyn had long accepted the fact that he would not be the one making any major breakthroughs. (Then again, at this rate, no one else would either.)
Even so, he decided not to contradict Aliez. It would solve nothing. More than likely it would only serve to make Aliez more upset. Vyn swallowed his arguments and hid within the shadow of his arms.
He didn’t believe anything Aliez said. The Commodore didn’t want him there, he simply felt sorry for him, or he had no better options here on Earth. Lyndin needed Commanders he could rely on, even if those Commanders wouldn’t have been Commanders yet if they were home on Velencya. The Commodore did the best he could in a situation he surely could not have completely prepared for. Lyndin would do what was necessary to ensure his Commanders were likewise at their best, even if that meant coddling Vyn until Vyn could stand on his own. Vyn was not needed any more than anyone else. Less, probably. What did he do other than cry and complain?
Vyn groaned again. He pouted against the table. His thoughts were running away from him well before he could exert any control over them. He couldn’t decide who he was being the most unfair to, he only knew he was being unfair to someone. Himself. Lyndin. Aliez. All three of them. Everyone.
At least he didn’t give into the compulsion to run.
Vyn took a heavy breath.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, because it was easier to apologize than it was to explain himself. Everything he said would be challenged anyway.
Vyn stretched out an arm to reach across the table, fingers wrapping around Aliez’s wrist.
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Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2025 6:31 pm
Aliez startled when Vyn’s fingers wrapped around his wrist. For a moment he froze, caught between surprise and the ache of how much he missed being close to his friend. Then, slowly, he reached across with his other hand to place on top of Vyn’s.
“You don’t have to apologize,” he said softly, shaking his head. “Not to me… not for this, or for anything.”
He swallowed, his nerves fluttering in his chest, but he didn’t let go of Vyn’s hand.
“You’re not weak. You’re not wrong. You’re someone who has been through so much, and you’re still trying to find your place. That’s more than enough. You’ve been trying so hard. Even when it feels like you’re not enough, you’re still here, still fighting for Velencya, for all of us. That matters more than you know, Vyn. You matter.”
He glanced across their hands and Vyn’s on his wrist, then back up at Vyn’s face. “I know you don’t believe me yet,” he said softly, his voice breaking but still determined. “But I’ll keep saying it until you do.”
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Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2025 6:32 pm
Vyn kept his head down, cheek smushed against the table.
No matter what Aliez said, Vyn thought the apologies were necessary; he had not been kind or considerate. To a certain extent he still did not want to be kind or considerate. Vyn did not agree with Aliez’s assessment of his character either. Vyn had always thought himself stupid and weak. He thought he must be wrong if no one else agreed with him. If he wasn’t wrong, wouldn’t the rest of the Vanguard be out searching for Caedus, too? Maybe Vyn was enough for Aliez, who had been Vyn’s friend before he had been Vyn’s colleague, but that didn’t mean he was enough for anyone else. Vyn didn’t know how to meet this moment. Nothing he did mattered by his own estimation, not if it didn’t result in the completion of their mission.
“Alright,” he said, just as before.
It didn’t please him to agree, but he saw no other course of action that wouldn’t result in further discourse. That wasn’t what he wanted. That wasn’t why he’d come back.
Vyn would resign himself to the discontent. He would swallow his disappointment, bury his frustrations, conceal his humiliation, and stifle any argument so no one else would be hurt by his unhappiness. He would show his face at the Vanguard house. He would help Lyndin with his research. He would smile like he used to and hope it was enough for everyone else, even if it wasn’t enough for him.
Aliez was right about one thing: Vyn would always fight for Velencya, even if it meant shouldering burdens too heavy for him to carry.
Fin!
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