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 Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:58 am
Zac’s eyes lingered on Riker’s arm, on the way his fingers pressed into flesh with too much force. He watched like the bruises would be instantaneous, like he’d see the crescent mark of nails in flesh.
“Don’t do that.”
He didn’t point, didn’t over explain. The fold out chair had a mesh cup holder in the arm, and though it didn’t seem like Zac had been using it–especially with the drinks on the ground, he reached into one to pull out a somewhat worn foam ball. It was nondescript; there were a few around the house, and sometimes Zac absentmindedly tossed them around between squeezing the life out of them. There was one on the workbench in the garage, in the entertainment console, in the junk drawer in the kitchen. There was one in the cup holder of his car, too.
They weren’t really for him. He liked to throw them at Evan, especially when he was worked up about something, and Evan almost always took the bait and started squeezing it while he spoke.
Zac made sure Riker could see the ball, and he tossed it to him. Didn’t throw it at him, but only because he didn’t want it to bounce off into the fire. Riker played baseball; if Evan could catch them, Riker could.
“Do you really think your answer is that stupid?” he asked, but he knew already. Everything Riker did screamed ‘deflect’. He was just trying to shut down and protect himself.
“I told you that you didn’t have to do that fake smile. I know this conversation’s important to you so stop pretending. I said I’d be here for more than paperwork. So just take a minute. Don’t overthink it. I’m not going to think you sound desperate or weird. Probably. Don’t think about anything I’ve said, or what you think I don’t want to hear. Just answer the question. Say out loud what you already said in your head. Tell me what you think it’d be like. What you want it to be like.”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:59 am
Riker caught the ball more out of reflex than anything. He stared at it for a few moments, not squeezing it right away. Instead, he turned it over in his hands a few times, staring at the worn foam like maybe it could give him the script for what he was supposed to say.
His throat felt dry, like the words might choke him on the way out. It wasn’t just the question, but the fact that Zac had tossed him something instead of pointing out what he was doing wrong. The kind of thing he expected when someone was ‘looking out for you.’ Not with a big lecture or grand gesture, but with a ball in place of your own skin beneath your nails.
It made him think about all of the other little things… how Zac would tell him what tools to use for a job, or how to use the lawnmower correctly so he wasn’t standing out in the heat forever, or explain how to do something instead of just doing it for him, or pull him out of his own thoughts without making a big deal about it. Wasn’t that… kind of what a dad was supposed to do? Or at least part of it?
The thought made his stomach twist. He could still hear his own voice from nearly a year ago, teasing Zac and calling him ‘dad’ and telling him how they’d tell ‘mom’ about his suggestion for a movie night with friends and pizza. How Zac hadn’t told him to shut up, which somehow made all of this worse. He stared at the ball like it could spare him from having to look Zac in the eye.
“I don’t know how to say it without making it sound… dumb,” he muttered. “It’s not like I know what it’s supposed to be like. Never had it, so…” He trailed off, rolling the ball between his palms. “But I guess I figure it’d be… stuff like this. Telling me when I’m being an idiot. Talking me through crap. Checking for monsters under the bed. Having me and Julian watch all of the movies we should know so we’re not the weirdos who don’t understand any movie references. Telling me what to do about stuff I’ve got no clue how to handle.”
The words were coming too quickly now, and the panic crept in behind them. He clamped his jaw shut, trying to stop the flow before he said too much and couldn’t take any of it back.
“I just… I don’t know. Being around. Not leaving… Like--” he quickly continued because he didn’t want Zac to think he was ignoring him. He heard him! Every word! He was just stuck in a cycle and he was desperately trying to break it. “Like, I know you said you aren’t going anywhere and all that. But, you know, you’re allowed to change your mind. But that’s… that’s a lot. And you already said you’re not-- ah… I know you said to not think about anything you said, but I can’t just forget all that without-- I don’t know. I know I’m asking for something that probably isn’t even… you know. Realistic.”
He gave the ball a single squeeze. His brows were furrowed too tightly, his shoulders curled too much in on himself. “You wanted me to be straight with you? That’s it. You… you already do the stuff I’d think counts. And if that’s what you meant by the question… then yeah, I guess that’s what it’d be like.”
It wasn’t well said or easy or anywhere near comfortable, but it was the truth. And now it was out there, where he couldn’t take it back.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:59 am
Zac was quiet for a moment, torn between watching Riker’s face and losing his thoughts to the fire.
“Hm,” he said, once more leaning back into the chair.
“...So you just need me to keep doing what I’ve been doing and you’ll be good?”
Zac didn’t know what he’d expected for an answer but it wasn’t that. He tilted his head just slightly. “...So what are you so worried about? If you’re happy with the way things are, and I’m never going to change…”
He let the words hang in the air for a moment and then shrugged.
Teenagers were so confusing.
“I’m not going to leave. And I’m not going to change my mind about leaving. So what are you asking for that’s so unrealistic?”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:59 am
Riker sucked in a breath as he stared at Zac for a long moment, the words bouncing around his head like they’d completely missed their mark. He shifted awkwardly in his seat, passing the ball from one hand to the other.
“That’s… not all I meant,” he mumbled slowly, like he was testing the ice for cracks again before taking another step.
Zac was still looking at him expectantly, and it made his chest feel tight with anxiety. He could keep skirting around it, keep handing Zac little pieces of the puzzle to fit together… except Zac didn’t seem to be picking up the pieces in the first place.
And maybe that wasn’t fair. Maybe it wasn’t Zac’s job to figure out what Riker meant without him saying it.
He took another breath that felt too big for his lungs, trying to steady himself in any way possible.
“I’m saying… I don’t just want you to ‘keep doing what you’re doing.’ I meant more like… I don’t know. Not just… helping me and Julian out when stuff happens. Or keeping an eye on us. I meant--... I want you to be--” His voice caught in his throat, and he had to look down at the ball again, brushing his thumb over the worn seam. “--my dad. Like… actually. Not as a joke. Not just ‘more than paperwork.’ I mean… if that’s even something you’d want.”
The last part was rushed, mumbled, shoved out in a way that felt safer than letting it just sit without adding anything else. His face was still flushed, but he finally glanced up, brows furrowed with unease.
“So yeah, that’s the unrealistic part. Because you’re… you. And I’m… me. And maybe you don’t want that, but that’s what I was saying,” he said, barely above a whisper to be heard over the crackle of the fire. His grip on the ball tightened, like maybe holding it hard enough would help him brace for whatever came next.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:59 am
“Oh.”
The word hung in the air for a moment, and the silence spread as Zac watched Riker. It wasn’t that he was trying to be evasive or avoidant, he just didn’t know what to say. There were words in his head, he just forgot how to speak them.
Finally, “Okay.”
That word hung for just as long, but it came after a shrug.
“So you want…what, fishing trips? Play ball in the backyard?”
No, it wasn't that simple. He knew it wasn’t that simple.
…If it was simple, he’d understand exactly what Riker was talking about.
Instead, there was static in his head. Then, it felt like steel wool, and a spark, and fire.
He didn’t feel any closer to an answer.
Instead of beating around the bush, instead of guessing, he figured they could be honest with each other.
“We’re coming from different places. So let’s meet in the middle. I had a dad.” Could have been ‘have’ if he hadn’t gotten stuck in the Negaverse and had to hide who he was. “He’s great. If you ever want to meet him, you should let my brother take you over for dinner sometime. So. When I think of dads, I think of him. And I don’t think I could ever compare to him. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Not when it came to anything father oriented.
But then there was Riker, who didn’t have one to compare to. He had a shitty mom and an empty spot.
Not exactly tough competition.
“...So what does a dad look like to you? What does it mean?”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 12:00 pm
Riker swallowed hard and let out a shaky breath. The warm glow of the fire felt like it was spotlighting the cracks and fractures in his carefully guarded composure. Even now, he was still trying to hold it together.
“A dad, huh?” he repeated softly, slowly, almost just to himself. “I guess I don’t really have a picture for what that’s supposed to look like. But… to me, it’s the stuff I said before. Someone who’s there. Like, not just when things go wrong or when I need a hand fixing the lawnmower, but just… around. Someone who sticks around even when it’s not easy or fun. Someone who notices when I’m messing up and calls me out on it, but doesn’t make me feel like I’m worthless for it. Someone who’s not going anywhere, even if I screw up a million times.”
His voice cracked a little on the last part, because it was real… and fragile. Riker cleared his throat, embarrassed but determined.
“I don’t know if that’s what it means to everyone. But for me… it’s someone who makes the hard parts feel a little less heavy. Someone I can look to when I don’t know what to do. Someone who doesn’t bail just because it’s easier.”
His lips twitched into a small, almost shy smile before continuing. “Evan… he’s more like a mom, I guess. He’s the one who notices when I’m hurting, the one who’s always checking in to see if I’m okay, and he’s not afraid to get a little emotional or tell me I’m loved. He makes the house feel safe, you know? Like I belong there, no matter what.”
Riker shifted in his seat and looked away for a moment, and then back at Zac with something softer in his eyes. “You… you’re different. You don’t hover or smother -- not that Evan does! But you let me try stuff and even mess up, but you’re there to help when I really need it. I don’t expect you to, you know… be perfect or fit some idea of what a dad’s supposed to be. I just… I want to know that you’d be willing to be that person, however it looks. Even if it’s just to be there and not leave.”
He gave the ball another squeeze and then released it so it sat lightly in his hands, then finally met Zac’s eyes, vulnerable and trusting. “That’s all I’m asking for.”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 12:01 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 12:01 pm
Riker stared, caught off guard by the question. It wasn’t the answer he’d expected, but… maybe that was okay. He shifted the ball from hand to hand again, then looked up at Zac with an earnest and steady gaze.
“I... yeah. I think you can,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper but it was without doubt, without question.
“You’re already doing it. I mean, you’re the first person I look for when things get rough, or when Julian and I need help and we don’t know what to do. It’s not like we had some perfect introduction to all this ‘family’ stuff. But Evan… he’s stayed close to you, and I’m really grateful for that. Because I know you’re watching out for him, and for me too, even if you don’t say it. I know if I get in trouble or feel stuck, you’re the one who can actually help. Especially when I don’t want to upset Evan.”
He took a breath, steadying himself. “So yeah. I think you could be the dad I never had. I just didn’t know how to say it.”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 12:01 pm
Another tired exhale fluttered from Zac’s lung, choking up his throat and spilling from his lips. He rubbed at the back of his neck, digging his fingers into the muscle like he could ease the knot that had spontaneously appeared.
That was a lot of pressure, but here was Riker, hoping for it.
Hoping he’d be good enough for someone to just try.
Even now, Zac wasn’t sure he was the best person for the job.
But, someone was better than no one, and the kid was hopeless. He and Evan had that in common. Someone was going to have to stop Riker from absorbing all of Evan’s bad traits.
“...Well, I don’t have a speech prepared or anything. I didn’t think you’d come out to talk to me tonight,” Zac said, in a tone that said it was a confession without being a confession. It was something honest, something softer without requiring him to lower his walls.
Was this really so different from looking after Todd?
…Or was Zac just overthinking this, too?
He wanted to take another sip of his beer–down the rest of the bottle, maybe–but he didn't.
That’s not how he wanted Riker to remember this moment.
“...Okay,” he finally said, and this time, he was agreeing.
The fire made it hard to tell what other emotions might have been playing across his face, but he didn’t give the impression of someone who was simply resigned to their fate.
“You did a good job saying it,” he grumbled, because for a kid who said he didn’t know how to say it...
He did a good job saying it.
“So,” he said, still speaking slowly. He drew out the word like it might buy him some time but his face didn’t leave Riker’s. “...I guess, when you put it like that…yeah. I could try.”
He wanted to tell Riker not to get too sappy, not to be too dramatic, not to make a big deal out of it, but–
Zac’s story had already been written.
Riker’s ink was still being put to the page.
It wouldn’t be the end of the world if the kid let himself feel something other than disappointment. If he didn’t grow up trying to shut out all of those emotions, if he didn’t become some jaded cynic who was always trying to push people away…
Zac would never think he was any sort of fatherly material, and even now, in the warm summer evening, he felt cold. The sensation flooded through him suddenly, like an icy wave just crashing to shore. He couldn’t fight it so he didn’t bother trying. He didn’t let himself get swept up by it, but he felt it pass through him.
He let it settle in him.
“...I’m not going to be perfect. And I’m not going to be as endearing and forgivable as Evan when he messes up. So just know what you’re getting into. But, if you can deal with that,” he shrugged but it didn’t shake off any of the emotion he was trying to suffocate. “...Then I can deal with whatever you’ve got going on, too.”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 12:02 pm
Riker didn’t dare to move. And when he did, it was slow. Like maybe if he didn’t react too quickly, it wouldn’t look like he’d just been handed the winning lottery ticket -- a gift, because there was no way he would have expected to win anything.
He gave a small nod because, like yeah, cool, whatever. This was a totally normal conversation. His heart definitely wasn’t racing and he wasn’t about to jump up and do anything to embarrass himself.
“Guess that’s… you know, a good thing we talked now. But uh, I could’ve gotten a whole speech tomorrow, huh?” He tried to match Cassidy’s lazy tone, the kind that sounded almost amused. Except the corners of his mouth kept threatening to betray him as they twitched upwards every time he opened his mouth.
“This way I can just finish the adoption paperwork,” he added offhandedly, like he was talking about finishing drying all of the dishes. He kept his eyes on the fire, trying to let the flicker hide the fact that he was smiling way more than he wanted to be caught doing.
And yes, it was different with Zac than with Evan. Evan was his “mom” in all the ways it mattered. He was gentle, and emotional, and had a way of catching Riker before he even realized he was falling. Zac… he wasn’t the type of person who would always catch him. Riker expected Zac to let him trip, scrape his knees, and figure out how to stand up again. Point out exactly what he did wrong, but also teach him how to do it right the next time. And maybe that was part of why it meant so much. Having both of them meant he didn’t just feel protected… he felt like he was growing into someone worth protecting.
He sat there for maybe a moment too long, rolling the ball in his hands like maybe that was enough. Except… he was leaning toward Zac before he even realized it. He didn’t want to ruin the moment. He didn’t want to push too hard or make Zac immediately regret agreeing to anything. But…
He kept the ball squeezed in one hand and, slow enough that Zac could stop him if he wanted, but quick enough that he wasn’t making it even more awkward than it probably was, got up from his seat and crossed the short distance so he could lean in and wrap his arms around him. Not tight! Just enough to say thank you and I won’t let you down without making it a whole scene. He could feel the warmth of the fire on one side of his face, and Zac’s steady presence on the other, and some stubborn, lonely part of him soaked it up like he’d been waiting his whole life for it. And in many ways he had been.
When he pulled back, he didn’t say anything about it. Just moved back to his chair and squeezed the ball in his hand before passing it back and forth between his palms.
“Cool,” he said, like that was all it took to seal the deal. Like it wasn’t already adding to the list of the best things anyone had said to him in his entire life.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 12:02 pm
When Riker first moved, Zac thought of Maxim–stalking slowly, like if he moved just right, nobody would see him creeping towards the piece of bacon on the floor.
He was so ******** obvious. Even the shadows from the fire hadn’t been hiding anything on his face.
Zac was not good with hugs. It wasn’t like he thought Riker was going to stab him–or Talia, or Evan, or Todd, but there was something weirdly vulnerable about them. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten a hug because he needed one, but for some reason, he wound up giving out quite a few of them.
He didn’t push Riker away. Didn’t even huff or scoff or roll his eyes. He let Riker control the duration and tightness of the embrace, and at one point Zac even had the decency to wrap his arm around the boy and pat his back. A little roughly, not enough to hurt, but his hand was a little heavier and a little more awkward than Evan’s.
The hug hadn’t felt like it lasted for more than a few seconds, so when Riker drew back, Zac let him.
He watched Riker for a few seconds, like he was letting all of this sink in.
“Cool,” he repeated, because if Riker was ready to seal the deal, so was he. There wasn’t any reason to draw it out; he’d wanted straightforward, he’d gotten straightforward. Any awkwardness that lingered in the air had faded somewhat, and the rest was sure to follow. Zac relaxed in his chair once more, briefly wondering how much longer they had before Evan couldn’t help himself and came out to check on them.
But, maybe Zac could beat him to the punch. He gave Riker one more look over, like he was really seeing him.
“...You good?”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 12:02 pm
Riker saw the look Zac gave him, and he returned it with an awkward, somewhat sheepish grin. He wasn’t really sure how to answer without sounding like he just won something huge, which… he kind of had.
“Me? Oh, yeah. I’m good,” he said, although cringed a little because… ‘me’? Really? Who else would Zac be talking to? He shifted the ball from hand to hand again, the familiar motion helping to ground him a bit.
“I guess… now I just need to figure out how to tell Evan and Julian without making it a big deal. You know, like a normal person,” he added, because that was definitely something a normal person would be concerned about. He was trying to sound chill and, well, normal, but wasn’t sure he was managing it very well. He wasn’t really sure what ‘normal’ looked like anymore anyway.
The truth? He couldn’t wait to tell them. To tell someone he was finally going to have parents. Real ones. Not just people he could rely on to show up when he needed to be bailed out of some mess, but people who would be there for all the other times, too. Well, at least as much as they could tolerate. It wasn’t like he was going to force Zac into doing things he didn’t plan on doing. It was fine, it only took nearly eighteen years of his life to have actual parents, but-- no, it was fine. Totally normal.
He glanced back at Zac, feeling mostly overwhelmed but grateful, too. “Thanks for, uh… trying. And, you know, being here. I’m glad we talked.”
He didn’t say it was one of the best things that had happened to him in a long time, or ever, but maybe that was obvious enough with the way his eyes were a little brighter in the firelight.
Then, with a casual shrug, he added, “So, yeah. Cool.”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 12:02 pm
This time, Zac couldn’t keep his face still. A smirk blossomed where a smile might have been more appropriate but there was only so much he could do about the way his face settled.
“Okay. Good.”
The fire crackled between them, peaceful and soothing. It would have been nicer if the night were cooler but Zac wasn’t complaining.
Things were just fine the way they were.
“You don’t have to sit out here with me,” he said after a second, though it certainly wasn’t a dismissal. “You can go tell Evan. You can make it a big deal if you want. I don’t think there’s anything you could do to make him think less of you. He’s probably working up an ulcer right now. I can text him to chill out if you want to stay out here for a while. I like the quiet sometimes, the house gets too busy. Maybe I’ll show you firepit safety this weekend, just in case you need a break from it all. So you can do it without me worrying you’ll set the yard on fire.”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 12:03 pm
Riker rolled the ball between his palms, gaze dropping to the fire as it crackled. “Yeah… I’ll check on him in a bit,” he said, although it was difficult to not just bolt inside to tell Evan everything. He hated the thought of Evan worrying about him, but he also wasn’t quite ready to move.
“Uh, yeah if you don’t mind. I don’t want him to sweat too long. I already feel bad for leaving him to run out here,” he grimaced, feeling guilty about it, but also glad that he did.
He shifted in his chair, leaning back as he watched the firelight flicker and cast shadows around them. “I mean… you’ve got me for firepit safety this weekend. That’s pretty serious. I should probably stay on your good side before you decide I’m too much of a liability.”
The warmth of the flames and the summer air, the smell of the wood smoke, the rare quiet… it settled into him in a way he wasn’t quite used to. He could probably get used to it, if he let himself.
“You’re right about the quiet, though,” he said after a moment. “Feels like you can breathe easier out here.”
There would be plenty of time to run inside and make a big deal about it. For now, he stayed where he was, letting the moment linger.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 12:03 pm
Riker had an out to go back inside, Zac had made sure of it. The fact that he lingered almost made Zac laugh, but instead he just snorted and shook his head. Withdrawing his phone, Zac effortlessly found Evan’s contact and texted him to say things were fine.
He wasn’t even sure if Evan had his phone on him, or if he’d have forgotten to check it entirely. Evan wasn't peering out of any of the windows so he must have been pacing or having a panic attack. It couldn’t possibly be that he trusted Zac with Riker.
“I was thinking about doing some landscaping. Talia’s mentioned gardens a few times.” Maybe she was dropping hints or maybe he was just hanging onto her words. “Thought it might be nice to get something set up. Don’t get me wrong, I like the backyard how it is.”
Easy to maintain. Clean. Not too much trouble.
“A garden will make things a little more difficult to work around. And it’ll require some attention. I don’t know, you’ll have to tell me what you think,” he said gruffly, nodding to the tree in the other corner of the yard. “I thought a bench, a bird bath, some flowers. Somewhere peaceful and quiet. I don’t really want to deal with all that work but I guess it’s good for your nervous system. And between Talia, Evan, Julian, and you,” he shrugged. “You could all use a reset. So you can help me with that, too. Mm. Guess I should get you to sign those papers before I start giving you too much work.”
…But if he was being honest, he was pretty sure Riker would enjoy the project.
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