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 Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2025 7:10 pm
You’ll always have me.
Orien said it like he didn’t believe it. Like they were a prayer on his lips.
Kaelan’s heart was heavy, like a weight tearing through wet paper behind his ribs. A massage sounded amazing. He’d have loved to have Orien’s arms around him. To have his hair brushed, played with–
Those were nice things. He wanted that tenderness.
But it was labor, too.
He couldn’t ask for Orien to give any more of himself right now, not when he sounded like he needed comfort, too. Kaelan pulled him closer and held him.
“I’ll always have you,” he promised, forcing a confidence in his voice that didn’t exist in his heart. “Just stay with me,” he said, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I don’t need anything fancy. I just need you. Just stay close to me. Let me hold you. That would make me feel better.”
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2025 7:10 pm
Orien held him, sinking against Kaelan as he wrapped his arms around him. Held him like he might fade into nothing if he let him go.
“We’ll just let Jett get us the fancy things,” he tried joking, but his grin wobbled. So he just squeezed Kaelan tighter.
And, because why the ******** not when they had a tub as big as they did, he nudged off his shoes with his toes and climbed over the edge of the tub and into the water.
Kaelan said he wanted to hold him. And Orien wanted to hold Kaelan in return. So why not? Nothing should keep them apart. He didn’t care that his clothes were soaked now. He didn’t care that this probably wasn’t what Kaelan meant. He didn’t want to leave his side. So he wrapped his arms around him and held him close, pressing his face against the warmth of his neck in the still steamy water.
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2025 7:11 pm
“Oreo,” Kaelan whispered, half laughing. He couldn’t even pretend to scold him. He gathered him, wet clothes and all, into his arms and pulled him close. “We’re going to have to hang your clothes up so they can dry. You got a robe too, didn’t you?” he asked. “I hope you put those pajamas somewhere close.”
It didn’t matter; they had towels. Kaelan would help Orien out of his wet clothes.
A little water wasn’t the end of the world.
Kaelan didn’t know how serious Orien might have been about letting Jett get them the fancy things but he didn’t have the energy to complain or protest any of it tonight. He was happy to be here, somewhere decent.
He liked home! Not because of where it was but because of who it was with.
And Orien was here with him now, so this could have been home, too.
“...It’s just you and me here, right?” he said softly. His arms encircled Orien protectively and he spoke softly into his ear. “...If you don’t want me to hear you cry, you can cover my ears. I won’t listen. I just don’t want to let you go.”
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2025 7:11 pm
Orien scoffed, then grumbled, then muttered defiantly.
“I’m not crying,” he insisted, pressing close to Kaelan, not even caring that his clothes were now soaked through. “You cover my ears if you don’t want me to hear you cry. I’m not the one who was struck by lightning.”
He adored Kaelan. Would worship the ground he walked on if given the chance. But Kaelan was always taking care of him. Even now, Kaelan was trying to protect him and make sure he had a safe place to let out his emotions.
No! He was strong! He was going to suck it up and be perfectly fine. They would figure things out later.
“What a shitty birthday,” he grumbled, pressing a kiss to Kaelan’s neck and giving him another squeeze. “We’ll celebrate for the rest of the month, how about that?”
They still had the cake back at their apartment. It might not last without refrigeration, but that was fine. He would just tell Jett who would get them something else to celebrate with.
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2025 7:12 pm
A helpless little laugh bubbled from Kaelan’s throat, unearthed from where he’d had it buried just a moment before. He could have cried. But he didn’t want to. That was so much drama.
And he’d already been struck by lightning tonight.
“I’ve had worse birthdays,” he promised, tilting his head to the side to offer more of his neck to Orien. “This is the first time we got to take a vacation out of the city together. And we got a nice hotel, too. And room service. That’s not so bad,” he suggested.
His skin felt cold and clammy, but the warmth of the bath helped. He didn’t want to admit that it wasn’t just the darkness that scared him, it was what he’d seen in it.
Kaelan didn’t know how he was supposed to dissect it tonight. His mind felt like a live wire, thrashing in his head. He was afraid to reach out and wrangle his thoughts. He’d already felt lighting once tonight.
He didn’t think he could take it twice.
Tomorrow, maybe.
But not tonight.
Orien wasn’t fooling anyone, though.
Kaelan found Orien’s hands easily. They were warm, but twitchy, and Kaelan pressed them flat over his ears using his own hands. Orien didn’t just need permission to cry, he needed the space to do it. He’d try to be strong. Try to keep his hackles raised, like a wounded animal ready to lash out. He’d keep it up until he exhausted himself, and then he’d go to bed and cry anyway.
There wasn’t any reason to draw it out. Kaelan couldn’t see. And now, he couldn’t hear.
He kept his neck exposed. His fingers laced with Orien’s.
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2025 7:13 pm
Orien swallowed thickly as Kaelan reached for his hands. He knew what he was doing even before he did it. Because Kaelan was always so kind and thoughtful, and always looked out for him.
Sometimes he hated it, because he felt useless when it came to taking care of Kaelan. He hated feeling like he was the one who always had to be treated gently and with compassion and understanding and patience. He just wanted to make sure Kaelan knew he was loved, too.
He kept his hands over Kaelan’s ears, his face pressed against his neck. He didn’t pull away, even if he wanted to insist that he was okay. It was what Kaelan did, wasn’t it? Insist that he was fine, even if he wasn’t.
But Orien was weak to compassion, especially Kaelan’s. He closed his eyes and just breathed. The tears would follow, but he didn’t want to make a big deal about it. He just wanted Kaelan to know he was loved, that he would be okay, whether or not he got his sight back.
“I love you,” he whispered against his neck, no longer trying to hold back the tears that welled in his eyes.
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2025 7:15 pm
Kaelan didn’t need his ears to know what Orien had said. He felt it in the way his lips moved over his neck. Their fingers were still laced together, and he brushed his thumbs along Orien’s pinkies, trying to soothe him in every little way possible.
He’d have kissed the palms of Orien’s hands if that didn’t mean pulling them away from his ears to do so.
They had all night together, and tomorrow, and every day after that.
There wasn’t a rush. Maybe Kaelan was greedy. Or desperate.
Orien was working so hard. He was so strong. He was doing so good.
“I love you too,” he whispered back. “All of you. Every part.”
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