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 Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2025 8:21 pm
Cassidy clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and looked briefly annoyed but he busied himself with filling the vase with water and then very specifically placing small groups of flowers into it to fill it all out.
“I guess I would have been upset if it happened at school,” he relented, but he wasn’t happy about that either. “But I’m not happy with Julian either. So you’d better work extra hard to make it up to me so I forgive him too,” he muttered.
He wanted to be mad at Julian but to be fair, he hadn’t asked him if he’d heard from Riker today. He’d just assumed someone would tell him as soon as he showed up. Better alive than dead! Better feeling guilty than hurt!
Cassidy was visibly struggling with the emotions he was feeling because he kept drawing in a big breath, holding it, and then dramatically letting it out. It didn’t even seem like he was doing it for attention; he didn’t even seem like he was aware of it.
He finished fanning out the flowers a while ago, now he was just doing it to keep himself distracted. “You should text Elliot and tell him you’re okay before he spends his weekend looking for you. And it’ll save you from having to tell a bunch of people since he’ll tell Atticus and Mr. Gallo and the Mr. Reids. I’ve been bothering all of them. Pull out your phone, let me give you his number now. You’re not going to drop out, right? I don’t want to go to school without you, it’s so boring when you’re not around.”
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Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2025 9:28 pm
“Please don’t be mad at Julian,” Riker winced, really hoping that Cassidy would take some mercy on him. Poor Julian had been through a lot too. Because Riker had put him through so much worrying. Ah… he really did ******** up by trying to run away and abandon everything and everyone.
“Yeah, uh…” he quickly agreed, reaching into his pocket so he could pull out his new phone. So far it only had Julian and Evan’s numbers, but he would have gotten more contacts from Julian when he got home!
He handed it to Cassidy after quickly unlocking it. Not that he had anything to hide, it was just part of the set up process.
“I’m not going to drop out,” he promised. He watched Cassidy’s shifting emotions as he arranged the flowers, and when he was done and took the phone, Riker stepped a little closer to him. To see what he was doing, of course. And if that meant casually placing a hand on Cassidy’s lower back to gently rub with reassurance, then, well… it was just normal.
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2025 6:15 am
Ugh, of course Riker would be trying to protect Julian. As if Cassidy really had the heart to give him a hard time. Julian wasn’t even fun to tease. His loyalty was to Riker more than Cassidy so nagging him was just going to be a waste of energy.
Riker was so trying to suck up to him. It was working a little. Cassidy liked the touch so he leaned into it and tilted the phone so Riker could see what he was doing. He added a new contact–himself first, though no picture. No fun name, just ‘Cassidy’ and a phone number. He sent himself a single text, just a period, and then Immediately afterwards typed in Elliot’s name and phone number.
He hadn’t needed to pull it up on his own phone; he had it memorized.
“So you’re really okay? You’re going to stay with Evan from now on and he’s going to take care of you? You’re safe, you feel good about things?” he asked, passing Riker’s phone over to him but not moving away.
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2025 6:55 am
Was he okay?
Physically, yeah. He was fine. Well, a little bruised but Cassidy had already seen all of that.
He didn’t respond for a few moments, taking the phone and tapping out a quick ‘Hey it’s Riker. New number. Sorry for any trouble I caused.’ to Elliot before setting the phone on the counter.
“I feel safe there, yeah,” he nodded, then pulled the package with snacks closer to try to undo the seal, but his nails were too short to be very useful.
“You’ve been there. It’s--... There’s a lot of people there. Which is fine! I’m the newest one. And Julian before me. I usually just hide when everyone else is around, and Evan doesn’t have a problem with that. He’ll bring food up if I’m not feeling up for socializing. He’s good at taking care of me,” he promised, absently running his fingers up and down Cassidy’s back with a little more anxious agitation.
“As for everything else…”
Riker paused and sighed and shrugged. “I’ll be okay. Yeah, I know it’s really stupid to keep thinking about it. But-- yeah, I’ll be okay.”
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2025 8:14 am
“Oh my god, you are the worst at texting, Riker. That was so bad,” he muttered, picking up Riker’s phone. He didn’t know the password, so after guessing once and failing, he took Riker’s thumb and pressed it to the phone. It unlocked, and Elliot still hadn’t written back, so Cassidy took it upon himself to send a second message:
‘I’m staying with Julian for a while but I went to visit Cassidy. I’m okay, will touch base soon.’ Cassidy instinctively typed xoxo but deleted it before he pressed send.
“There, now it doesn’t sound like you’ve been kidnapped or are about to jump out of a window,” he grumbled. Riker was struggling with the packaging, so Cassidy grabbed a corner and peeled that back, too. He had nails enough that it wasn’t any trouble for him, and he was glad to have other little things to focus on.
“...If you ever need to get away, you can come here. I mean, I’m really glad that Evan’s taking care of you,” he said, and his shoulders relaxed just a little bit. He might have been annoyed that Riker just disappeared without a word but he was glad to know that he had somewhere safe to say, with people he could trust. He couldn’t quite tell what Riker was doing while he rubbed his back but Cassidy liked the attention so he leaned into it.
The snacks were open, he should taste them. But they weren’t going anywhere. Hopefully Riker wasn’t, either.
“...But real quick, what exactly are you saying is stupid to keep thinking about?”
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2025 10:05 am
Riker sputtered as Cassidy took his phone -- and his thumb to unlock it, even though he didn’t resist -- and watched as he typed out another message to Elliot.
“If I was kidnapped or about to jump out of a window, why would I text him from a new number?” he breathed in exasperation, but his ears burned because… okay, yeah, now that he thought about it, it wasn’t a very good text.
And now Cassidy was having to help him with the package. It probably would have been easier if he was using both hands, but he didn’t want to move his hand from Cassidy’s back.
It took him a little while longer to answer the more important question, but he eventually shrugged.
“Just--... just how maybe if I did something different, things would have -- you know -- been better. I mean, I know it’s stupid. I know my mom is a b***h and I don’t deserve what she’s done and all that, but don’t you think about it, too? I mean, obviously it’s not your fault your parents got a divorce. Just like it wasn’t mine that my mom cheated on her husband and had bad luck and ended up with a kid they tried exorcising because obviously I’m a demon incarnate or something. And come on, you can’t say that wouldn’t give anyone a complex.”
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2025 2:01 pm
“Oh, right for the ‘parents divorcing,’ huh?” he asked, side-eying Riker as he reached for an olive. He huffed but didn’t seem to dwell on it. After eating one olive, he held another up to Riker’s lips for him to try.
“I guess it’s human nature to think about all the ‘what-ifs’. Not really any different from daydreaming. I think about ‘what ifs’ all the time. I was going to sass you some more about ghosting me but I decided not to because, believe it or not, I do actually feel really bad for you right now. But I know you get weird about things like that so just know it’s because I care about you and I don’t like you hurting. But when you get tired of thinking about all the things you can’t change about the past, you should think about all the things you can change about the future. Like, I’m sorry about your mom. I don’t like her for a lot of reasons but I’m not going to bully you. I get it, she’s still your mom. But,” he shrugged a little, and very deliberately had not pulled away from Riker.
He liked being close to him. He missed this. He was still mad about how things had happened but it was hard to be mad at Riker right now. He should have been playing harder to get, should have made Riker beg, something.
He couldn’t.
He didn’t want to chase him away. And Riker seemed apologetic enough. Being mad at him was just going to demand energy that Cassidy had already spent worrying. If he put too much into being mad, he’d just fall asleep and waste what time they could have had together.
He wasn’t going to wake up tomorrow thinking ‘What if I’d just been a little nicer.’
“Just don’t spend all your time thinking about her. I don’t want you to get stuck on the things you could have done in the past and miss out on things you can do in the present. Do you think about ‘what ifs’ with me, too?”
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2025 4:51 pm
Riker was quiet as Cassidy spoke. Out of habit, when the olive was held up to his lips, he simply allowed the contact for several moments. It probably seemed silly, but since he was currently without an epipen, he was being overly cautious with everything. He hadn’t started itching, at least. That was usually the first sign. But he didn’t like surprises. Not after Cassidy spent a week thinking the worst had happened to him.
However, when he realized he’d spent too long not actually eating the olive as Cassidy spoke, he reached up to gently take hold of Cassidy’s wrist to keep him from pulling his hand away.
He did eventually eat it, taking it gently from Cassidy’s fingers, but he didn’t let go of his wrist.
“I deserve to be sassed,” he admitted through closed teeth so Cassidy wouldn’t have to see him chewing, although he eyed Cassidy a bit warily.
He knew he got weird about things that he should just get over. Especially when he was trying to come to terms with the fact that she’d never actually been his mother. Not like a real mother should have been.
With the olive gone, Riker pressed his lips to the side of Cassidy’s finger, and then down a bit at the curve of his thumb.
“I think about ‘what ifs’ with you all the time,” he confessed, although he’d already told Cassidy how horribly he felt for abandoning him in the hospital. “Maybe if I wasn’t so stuck in my own head, hearing the worst in everything anyone did, I would have realized how clever and charming you actually are. Or how your staring at me wasn’t because you hated me. And how your teasing was actually kind of endearing.”
Riker knew he was still oblivious in many ways, but he had definitely been worse, before.
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2025 5:05 pm
Cassidy had spent enough time with Riker’s habits that he should have known to let him try it on his wrist first, but he’d already assumed that Riker would have checked the ingredients to make sure he could eat this. Why bring a gift he couldn’t share!
Naturally, he didn’t mind when Riker held his wrist, and he even seemed to enjoy when Riker did finally take it from his fingers. He liked what happened next more, and found it very easy to forget the snarky words that had just been dancing on his tongue.
“Aw, you’re cute,” he said, and if he did have residual anger at Riker, it evaporated. “When you say things like that, it makes me want to kiss you. Was Evan giving you tips on how to butter me up? I know that wasn’t Julian’s advice.”
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2025 6:11 pm
“Is this buttering you up?” he glanced up at Cassidy with mild confusion. Everything he’d said was sincere, but he supposed it was also nice to hear.
He didn’t explain if it had been Evan or Julian, and instead let go of Cassidy’s wrist so he could place his hand along his jaw instead. He leaned close as he gently tipped Cassidy’s head up, pressing their lips lightly together.
Since when had he been taller than Cassidy? At least to the point where he could look down a little at him? Not that it really mattered.
“What about me?” he asked when he pulled back a little. “Any ‘what ifs’ or are you just thinking about the future?”
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2025 7:16 pm
Riker’s lips felt warm in a way Cassidy hadn’t been expecting. He wasn’t exactly cold, but a pleasant heat spread from the contact and left him feeling particularly complacent. “Oh, it’s hard to have ‘what ifs’ around you. I don’t have to think about what opportunities I missed. I can’t help myself when you’re around, I just say whatever comes to mind,” he teased. “I daydream about the future much more than the past. I like to imagine what I can do, not what I missed out on. You’re in all my plans for the future, just so you know.” And since Riker had kissed him once it was fair game to return it.
Once. Twice.
“You’re eating too many vegetables, Riker. Did you have a growth spurt while you’re gone? I need to catch up. Otherwise you’ll have to start picking me up just to kiss me.”
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2025 7:50 pm
It was only fair for Cassidy to return his own kiss, so Riker didn’t move away or discourage him at all. But he did laugh softly at the suggestion that he’d have to start picking him up.
This time, when Riker pulled his hand away from Cassidy’s chin, he reached around him to pull him into a tight hug. He pressed his face against Cassidy’s hair and rubbed his hand up and down his back.
“I really did miss you. I’ll do my best not to scare you like that again. Thank you for worrying about me, Cass. I’d like to stay in all of your plans for the future, so I promise I’ll do my best to not disappoint you.”
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2025 8:27 pm
Unusual for Cassidy, he fell into a bout of silence. It wasn’t intentional, he wanted to run his mouth. He just couldn’t help himself.
The weight of his worrying had worn him down quite a bit, and for all the dramatics, he had actually spent all week worrying about Riker. At some point he was going to have to start dealing with the reality of what he’d do if something had happened, and he’d spent so many hours dedicated to finding a scrap of proof that Riker was alive and well.
He was here now and Cassidy wanted that to be enough, so once he was in the hug he melted against Riker. Who was getting more bold! He couldn’t tease him for being so timid if he was the one making moves like this!
Cassidy wrapped his arms around Riker and laced his finger together like it would keep them locked in embrace for a while longer. With a heavy sigh, he closed his eyes and laid his head against Riker’s shoulder.
“You really do know how to say all the right things, did you have to practice all that? I’m just teasing you. I liked that, made my stomach flop a little bit. Talk to me like that more often. And, thank you. The next time you think about scaring me, just remember that my poor little heart might not be able to take it. But,” another heavy exhale. “...It sounds like Evan’s taking care of you pretty well now. Too bad! I already daydreamed about you moving in with me! You’d better come visit me all the time. That’s part of my plans for the future. And as long as you’re doing your best,” he sighed more dramatically than before, “you probably won’t disappoint me. I like you too much. So, I forgive you. Just don’t do it again. And let me know if you’re ever in trouble! Don’t bottle things up, Riker. Promise me you’ll let me know if you ever need help?”
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2025 9:15 pm
Riker sighed and rubbed Cassidy’s back. He held him tightly and let Cassidy get out all of his thoughts. He knew he needed to be better about not bottling things up. He knew he needed to trust people more. And it wasn’t as though his friends hadn’t already proven that they could and would help him. He was just… stubborn. And used to doing things on his own.
“Would part of your future plans include me staying the night?” he wondered. He didn’t know what Cassidy wanted. He arrived there expecting to be told to go eat dirt, but this was much nicer.
“Unless your dad is going to freak out that you’re hiding boys in your room,” he cringed, because it was already a bit dangerous to have stayed the previous weekend.
“But I promise I’ll let you know if I need help.”
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Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2025 5:06 am
Cassidy didn’t want Riker to let go so his position stayed firm.
“Of course my plans include you staying the night! They’d have been to stay forever if Evan didn’t steal you away first! But I’ll take what I can get,” he huffed.
“My dad’s not even going to be here this weekend. He’s been so stressed about all these weird storms. Everyone’s coming in to get their anxiety medication filled. Maybe I should get some, too. You want some? Just kidding.”
Mostly.
“He didn’t even notice you here last time, it’ll be fine. Stay as long as you want. As often as you want. Please.”
He pulled Riker a little closer and said quite a bit softer, and far less dramatically, “Please.”
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