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 Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2024 5:25 pm
“No, the youma was a ******** coward and wouldn’t show itself,” Riker growled, although it was not directed at Elliot, or anyone else. Probably just himself for how things turned out. Not that they’d turned out poorly! No one ended up getting hurt at least.
But now Cassidy knew about the war. He knew about Knights and being able to travel to space. And youma and the Negaverse.
Riker rubbed at his face in frustration.
“I promised him I would talk to my friends who had some healing magic,” he confessed. Finally glancing up at Elliot with a bit of guilt in his expression. He didn’t want to make anyone do something they didn’t want to, but he also doubted they wouldn’t jump at the chance to help.
“He takes pain meds all the time because he’s always in pain. I had to carry him home once we got back to the city. He can’t even play baseball, anymore!” Riker frowned, clearly sharing some really important information because obviously there was something really wrong if Cassidy was being forced to give up baseball.
“I wanted to come over and ask if you and Atticus would like to meet up with him. With me. As, uh… not ourselves. Just to see if Atticus’s magic works on him any. Or-- doesn’t his dad have a hot spring that does healing stuff?”
He knew he sounded a little desperate but what else was he supposed to do?
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2024 5:28 pm
Riker’s frustration and worry made sense to Elliot, who never thought to question why Riker cared so much or was so passionate about helping Cassidy. There were little things that he pieced together–that he regretted not being able to visit him, that he felt horrible that Cassidy had been hurt so badly.
Riker wanted to do what he could to try and help.
Elliot respected that.
“Yeah, we can meet up with him. For sure, did you guys have a plan? I’m hoping if Atticus can ask about the springs we’ll be able to convince everyone that it’s safe to bring Cassidy. I mean, I bet my parents would vouch for him and that’s gotta have some weight to it. But I know Atticus would be willing to try his magic, for sure. That sounds like a good plan, I’m glad you were able to talk to him about it.”
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2024 5:32 pm
Oh… well that was both easier than he expected it to be, and exactly what he expected. Obviously Elliot and Atticus would want to help, especially a good friend. And convincing Atticus’s parents should be pretty easy.
Riker slumped down a bit, releasing his hold on the stress ball, which he hoped he hadn’t ruined with how hard he was squeezing it. He knew he wouldn’t be any good with the Rubik’s Cube, so he didn’t even attempt it.
“We were just going to meet up at the end of the week. I could get him and bring him to a place that’s not in the middle of his neighborhood,” he suggested, glancing over at Elliot once more with a frown.
“You must think I’m pretty pathetic, freaking out like that,” he sighed, now trying to pick at his pants where he might have actually damaged the fabric. Not anything that was noticeable unless looking closely.
“Thanks for agreeing to help Cassidy, though. You two were always much better friends to him than I was.”
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2024 5:34 pm
Elliot tilted his head slightly. For a brief second, he eyed where Riker was picking at his pants but it was better than what he’d been doing before so he didn’t try to fuss.
“I don’t think you’re pathetic. I don’t really understand what happened back there, but I don’t think any less of you because of it. I know there’s a lot about you that you keep to yourself, and I get it. I don’t ever want to make you uncomfortable because you think I expect an answer or something, so this is just coming from my experience. I get stressed out when I keep things bottled up instead of working through them. And you’ve had a lot going on the past few months.”
Even without the whole Cassidy thing. “Do you wanna maybe talk about it and see if that helps at all? Maybe we could figure out something to help you feel better before you get that stressed?”
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2024 5:35 pm
Riker clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth as he frowned down at his pants, and then shrugged.
“Don’t really know what to talk about,” he mumbled. He just assumed that Elliot was fishing. Giving him an opening to spill his guts and then pretend like he actually knew there was stuff going on.
Elliot was basically a politician. Diplomatic. Calm under pressure. Prepared for anything. He was a golden child who everyone adored. He was kind and compassionate and funny and athletic and smart and strong and the list could go on, but Riker was just annoying himself the more he thought about it.
He knew it was in Elliot’s nature to care and not take anything as payment. But it was probably exhausting caring about literally everyone. Which is why Riker decided there must have been corners cut. He didn’t expect Elliot to know anything about his life, but he was frustrated that Elliot was trying to trick him into telling him everything.
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2024 5:36 pm
Honestly, Elliot expected secrets. He really didn’t think Riker was just going to open up or lower his guard. He didn’t think any less of him for keeping secrets.
“That’s okay,” he reassured. “You don’t have to think of anything now. There’ll always be tomorrow, and the day after, and so forth. I could ask a question, if that’s okay? You and Cassidy and I have been on the same team for years. I know you two sort of have your own thing going, but I’m not used to him getting that sort of reaction out of you. Is it just because you were coming over to ask if we’d be willing to help him or is there something else going on?”
There was a whole field of questions that Elliot really didn’t ever anticipate talking to Riker about. The door was open but it was awkward and he wasn’t going to push Riker out of his comfort zone. It was hard enough to convince him to come over to Elliot’s house when he’d been hurt so he wasn’t going to take it for granted that Riker at least trusted him–or the safety of the house–enough to come back here when he needed a minute.
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2024 5:37 pm
Riker tensed. He didn’t think he would have minded a question from Elliot, all things considered, but he wasn’t sure how to answer something like that.
Obviously it was because he’d come over to ask for help for Cassidy! It was supposed to be a secret and Cassidy wasn’t supposed to know.
And yet… his stomach twisted in knots when he thought about him. It twisted the same way when he thought about hanging out with Evie and Julian. Even Evan, but he knew that was more complicated. He’d felt that same way for a while whenever he was with Dawn, but that was just normal, right?
Or… maybe not. He didn’t feel that way around Elliot and Atticus. Maybe because they were so gross and mushy already.
“Yeah, I mean. It’s supposed to be a secret. Our identities. Right? I didn’t want to ruin it,” he quickly said as his excuse. Except there was something else bothering him.
“You know, I always thought you were into girls. Or… I mean, there’s not a lot of girls around Azure but there were more in middle school,” he said, fidgeting once more with the stress ball. “Why did you decide to date Atticus?”
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2024 5:39 pm
It was such a sudden shift in topic, of course Elliot took note of it. He just didn’t comment on it. Instead, he filed it away. Riker didn’t usually talk about things like this, not unless he was being kind of brash but Elliot always assumed he was just shy about things.
“Oh, that’s a good question. I guess, because I starting thinking about things I never thought about before. I mean, yeah, I guess there are girls I thought were pretty. Some boys, too. But I didn’t ever think about it more than just ‘oh, they look nice’. And then there was Atticus, and.”
He exhaled, but there was already a smile on his face. He’d seemed comfortable before, but now he seemed to be really relaxing, he leaned back to rest against his bed and tilted his head up to look at the ceiling.
“Man, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. At first it was just his laugh, or his smile, or the way he tucked his hair behind his ear. I thought it was endearing, you know? And then all of a sudden it was cute. And then I was thinking about the way his eyes sparkled, the way his cheeks push up when he smiles. His lips. Atticus made the first move, you know. Kind of. He was really shy about it but he told me he had feelings for me, so I guess that was in the back of my head for a while. And then I was like, ‘wow, wait, I think I have feelings for him, too.’ It’s weird. But in a good way. I didn’t expect it, but I don’t know. I wasn’t really looking to fall in love. Sorry,” he laughed, “I know it’s sappy, I don’t even care if it’s cringy. It just happened. And it felt right. I decided to take a chance and it was worth it. So I guess, you know. You find the right person and it doesn’t matter what body they’re in, right? …But I definitely like the body he’s in too, so that helps. Things aren’t ever just black and white. Love especially.”
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2024 5:39 pm
Riker was quiet and listened to what Elliot was saying, chewing thoughtfully on the inside of his cheek. A lot of what Elliot was saying wasn’t really helpful, because sure, Elliot felt that way about one person, but most people felt that way about a lot of people, right?
It was only when Elliot apologized for being sappy that Riker made an offended expression, as though he’d forgotten that he needed to be grossed out by it all.
“Yeah, okay, I guess. But what if you can’t find the right person, or what if there’s multiple people and you don’t know how to pick and when you finally do it’s like, oh actually, they’re not that into you, but you’ve already burned bridges with the others, so you’re just stuck by yourself forever?”
Okay, that was probably a weird thing to ask about. Riker rubbed at his face, as if that would help him figure things out easier.
“Like… I don’t know. It’s normal to-- I don’t know -- think more than one person is -- ugh, I don’t know what I’m saying!”
He was obviously struggling with the words, and embarrassed to be talking about it in the first place.
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2024 5:41 pm
“Yeah, that’s normal,” Elliot said easily. He could tell Riker was trying, so Elliot was doing his best to meet him halfway. “Some people get one crush at a time, some people get lots of crushes. Some people even have multiple partners at once. Have you ever heard of polyamory? It’s like, when you have more than one person you want to date, so you all talk about it and make sure you’re cool? It’s not cheating because you talk it out. I don’t know, I don’t think it’s for me, but like I said, love’s not black and white. Sometimes you have to date a couple different people to figure out what you’re looking for, right? It took Michael–Mr. Gallo–some time to get with the right person. And he’s like, the coolest person I know.”
It wasn’t his fault that Devyn was stuck in outer space, he had to make due until he showed up.
“I think the right person will show up at the right time. Eventually. But sometimes it’s a waiting process, where the stars have to align. But you have to keep working at it to make sure you get the good ending, you know? I guess that doesn’t make sense. Atticus and I have been playing a lot of visual novels lately. Have you tried that? It’s like a ‘choose your own adventure’ story except the goal is usually to fall in love while there’s some plot going on. You should play this one we’re doing sometime, it kinda makes me think about some of the stuff you’re saying. Anyway, sorry. I got off track. I guess if there’s multiple people…you should talk to them. You know, when you’re ready. Because if you don’t say anything, you might regret it. You never know unless you try, right? And if you’ve burned bridges…I mean, I guess sometimes you can fix those bridges. Sometimes you can’t, but you can always learn from them. We’re only in high school now, Riker. A lot of people don’t even get into serious relationships until college, or later. So someone our age would have plenty of time to maybe go on a few dates–even friend dates, just to see if you click on another level? I don’t know. It sounds rough,” he admitted, because he could imagine being in a difficult position, but he also couldn’t imagine falling for anyone but Atticus.
“I guess, I don’t think there’s a wrong person, as long as they treat you right? So if you have a lot of people you like, it just means you’ve got a lot of love to give.”
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2024 5:42 pm
“Who said anything about having crushes?” Riker sputtered and leaned away from Elliot as though he smelled or something. He even wrinkled up his nose!
Oh, well… he supposed he kind of implied. But. He wasn’t admitting to anything! He was just asking a question!
Riker’s ears burned, his cheeks burned, and he was pretty sure Elliot was now convinced that he-- That he might--
Did he have a crush on… people? He wasn’t sure what it entailed. He definitely got excited when he saw them, and in a different way than just his normal friends -- although he didn’t really have normal friends, unless Elliot counted. And he supposed Atticus.
But unlike them, he didn’t wait with anticipation to see what he needed to do to get Yvoire to smile, or Julian to laugh, or Cassidy to, well… not make a joke out of everything. Dawn was always patient with him, and Evan was too. But did those all count as crushes? Elliot was patient as well, although him being a know-it-all was pretty obnoxious.
He heard all of the suggestions Elliot had, but all Riker could do at the moment was hide his face in his hands. What did it even all mean? He wasn’t trying to think of things like love, or even going on dates. He hadn’t even thought that far. He was pretty inexperienced with all of it.
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2024 5:43 pm
“Well, I did,” Elliot cracked a grin, just in case Riker was still feeling self conscious.
He must have been if he was hiding his face in his hands.
“It sort of comes with the territory of falling in love, you know? First comes the crush–you know, the feelings, all jumbled up in the pit of your stomach. Clammy hands, your heart goes wild. I don’t know if anyone's actually cool about it when they catch feelings for someone. I mean, when you’re thinking about who you want to spend the rest of your life with, I’d hope it was with someone you loved, and who loved you too. But that’s why I decided to date Atticus. He just made me really happy. And I felt, I don’t know, good, around him. But all that stuff is so serious so I’m sorry if I was laying it on heavy! It’s not like your life ends if you don’t find the ‘right’ person in high school, there’s plenty of time. But, you know. I think if anyone had feelings for someone–or someones, it’s cool. That’s normal.”
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2024 5:43 pm
Normal, Elliot said. Like it was really just something anyone could accept.
Frustrated, Riker dropped his hands from his face and into his lap. He looked up at Elliot with confusion and fear mixed in with being obviously flustered.
“What am I supposed to do? I’m not--” he tried and shook his head, trying to search for the words that made sense. Something had to make sense. The feelings he had certainly didn’t. Or maybe they did. He didn’t know.
He definitely felt like his heart went wild around certain people. And his stomach felt all twisted and fluttery. His hands got sweaty. He wanted to spend so much time with them and just talk and maybe hold hands or give them a hug or--
“I’m not gay! I’m-- I’m not supposed to be! That’s just not something that I can-- Do you know what my brother and his friends have done to--”
He let out a frustrated groan and buried his face in his hands again to muffle the sound.
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2024 5:44 pm
Honestly, this was probably the farthest conversation Elliot could have expected to have today. Riker coming over was a surprise, but Riker opening up–coming out?–was literally not on his Bingo card, at all, for today, tomorrow, or maybe even in his whole lifetime.
But Elliot could go with the flow.
He reached for a pillow with a bit more substance and passed it over, because if Riker needed to scream it out he deserved better than his hands.
“Your brother isn’t exactly a class act, Riker. I mean, if we’re being honest, he’s kind of a d**k.” Kind of a neanderthal but Elliot didn’t want to get that into it. “And he’s been that way for as long as I’ve known him. Like, well beyond just ‘older brother’s a jerk’ kinda thing.”
He couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t been hard on Riker. Couldn’t remember a time they got along, couldn’t remember Riker ever sharing a happy memory.
“...I know you care about him. I know he means a lot to you. But…I don’t think you should have to force yourself to try and be whatever he ‘wants’.” Of course, it was probably easier for Elliot to say. He’d only ever had love and support from his family, and they definitely didn’t care who he dated as long as he was safe and happy.
“I hope college is good for your brother. I hope he gets some time to do self reflection and think about what’s really important.” Elliot didn’t hold his breath. “But no matter what happens, you’ve got friends who are here to support you. I know it’s not the same. But I want you to be happy, being you, with who you love. Now, or in the future, or whenever.”
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Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2024 5:45 pm
“Yeah, I know he is,” Riker unintentionally snapped as he took the pillow from Elliot and mumbled a sheepish thanks. He wasn’t oblivious to how horrible of a person his brother was, but after spending all of his life thinking that his one purpose in life was to try and make his brother and mom like him--
It was difficult to come to terms with there being more to life than just suffering through.
“You don’t get it, though. They do things to kids that are--” he paused to wave his hand around like it clarified everything. It made him sick to think about it. And knowing what they did had him questioning if he really wanted to be liked by someone like that.
“I don’t want to end up in the hospital like your boyfriend did after they got their hands on him,” he growled with disgust. “If Beckett finds out-- if he even suspects-- I’ll probably end up with a bed covered with powdered coconut. Maybe he’d mix it into my toothpaste--”
Riker was fidgeting again, clearly anxious and frustrated. His ears burned, thinking about how he did have friends who wanted him to be happy. But would he ever even have the choice? Wait-- he wasn’t actually considering that he was--... was he??
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