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 Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2024 8:20 pm
Luke had so much more optimism about Hillworth than Julian did. He was almost glad that Luke snorted because Julian really didn’t even know how to respond otherwise.
“You should tell your mom that’s where you want to be enrolled next year,” he suggested. “You could probably get into Azure if you wanted, but I think Meadowview is more friendly. Some of my friends go to Azure.”
His eyes were sore and the light wasn’t exactly easy on them, but when he tilted his head a bit it blocked enough that it didn’t hurt. He couldn’t help but rub at them and, finally, pushed himself to his feet.
“I don’t think Hillworth really cares about good PR. I think they’d probably just lose any paperwork to room together. They’ve lost almost all of mine.”
He resisted the urge to sniffle and sipped at the water again before looking at his bed. He didn’t want to keep Luke’s blanket, he might need it. Although, the rooms weren’t as cold now that it was summer. He shrugged it off and held it out as he prepared to get into bed. He felt hot, and tired, and apathetic. Luke deserved more than that. Julian was just too tired to make emotions, and now that the threat of questioning seemed to be diminishing, his walls were lowering again.
“Do you know what you’re going to do for summer yet?”
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Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2024 8:22 pm
“I don’t think Hillworth cares about much…honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if the administration here was at the core of all the Chaos in the universe.”
Perhaps that was a little overstated but…they were honestly awful. “I’m not sure about any summer plans. Mom hasn’t let us know that anything special like a vacation is going to happen but, I want to spend time up on Lisse. I want…to get to know it better. The whole...thing with the Code piece? I want…to see about really trying to make it better up there? It sounds dumb and like, stereotypical but…” He shrugged.
“There’s also always a breeze up there it seems and you know how I feel about napping in the flowers. Just pretend I’m a bumble bee in paradise.”
He gave a little grin and went over to Julian’s bed, turning it down and fluffing his pillow slightly. “Here! Want me to tuck you in? Oh! Oh my god, did I tell you that I used to be a girl? Like, the old me? I found out when I fixed up the Code piece! Don’t ask any like, specifics cause that’s the only thing I learned but! Crazy, right?”
Take it easy. Let him calm down. Luke kept an eye on Julian, but was pleased to see that he didn’t seem quite as on edge.
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Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2024 8:25 pm
Julian didn’t think that Hillworth was the root of all evil but he could easily think of a few places he would rather be. He’d managed a half-hearted smile that became more real when Luke talked about his summer plans. It wasn’t much, but it sounded nice. Far from stereotypical, it sounded peaceful. He wanted to spend some time on Dering but he didn’t know if he should be allowed to.
Which was probably a silly thought. Luke wouldn’t understand. Luke was ‘proud’ of him, but Julian only felt shame.
He watched as Luke tended to his bed and he felt a little shame at that, too. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had tucked him in. Probably when he was a child but he couldn’t remember that far back.
…Did Luke think he was a child? Did everyone? Did they think he was a baby? Especially after tonight…
His stomach churned and his shame worsened.
…No, Luke was probably just doing what would have comforted him. Julian doubted there was any sort of insult hidden in the gestures, not when he was trying so hard to make Julian feel better.
None of this was easy and he couldn’t just explain why, so instead he quietly climbed into bed. He didn’t know what to do once he was there. If Luke hadn’t been right there, he'd have rolled so that his nose was pressed against the cold wall.
That didn’t seem appropriate but he wasn’t sure what you were supposed to do, so he laid on his back and all but collapsed into the pillow as he yanked his blanket up to cover him.
At least Luke had something else to talk about, too! Something he seemed really interested in. Julian looked up at him somewhat curious because at first it didn’t make sense. It wasn’t until almost the very end that Julian realized he was talking about the past Lisse. But then, even that was a little confusing.
“How did you find out?”
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Posted: Thu Jun 13, 2024 7:17 pm
Luke chuckled softly, shaking is head and climbing into his own bed, sitting there and just leaning back against the wall. “When I was…fixing? The Code? I guess fixing? I’m not sure…resonating? That sounds so…I’m honestly not even sure what resonating means so…fixing works for me…but. I had like, a vision? And I saw the previous Lisse…and she was…a she? I guess. She was pretty. But it was a big surprise…I kind of hope that I get to learn more about her…I’m sure there’s information somewhere up there so…it’s kind of a private quest.”
He hesitated and grinned, sheepish. “Though I hope I don’t have to do it on my own. Not all of it. I hope we can both spend time in Space together this summer. That would be a lot of fun. Also, I want to introduce you to my brother and cousin, if you’d want to meet them? At some point? More friends and more allies is always a good thing…and like, we keep ending up crossing paths anyway. You’d like Almere, I think. She’s super sweet. And she looks like a princess, seriously. She got the glam side of our outfits.”
Halle…maybe he’d have to talk with his brother before introducing the two of them but…Halle wouldn’t be too overwhelming if he knew not to be…
“...Not to sound stupid but…do you want a story? I can look up a bedtime story or something, or I can just…keep jabbering on about Lisse?”
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Posted: Thu Jun 13, 2024 8:10 pm
The information Julian had on previous knights was fairly limited but he knew there was a Knight before him. He just didn’t know who they were or what they had done. He wanted to learn, but he knew he was just going to wind up comparing himself to them–to someone who deserved to be a Knight.
Julian wasn’t quite sure about the whole bedtime story; he didn’t want to give anyone any more reason to think he was childish. It was probably sweet of Luke to offer but Julian’s stomach was still churning from all the nerves. PHysically, mentally, emotionally–he was exhausted. Now that he was in bed, he didn’t even know if he had the energy to cry.
Probably. He’d done it in his sleep before but even unconscious he was good at keeping quiet.
“Almere?” he asked, just trying to make sure he got it right. “I met her before, once. She was with another Lysithea Knight. She seemed nice. I’d like to meet your brother sometime.” Well, technically he was pretty sure he’d met him–or, at least, saw him.
“I’d like to spend time on Lysithea over the summer. Maybe we can all do something up there sometime, while school is out.”
If he could manage it. He wasn’t sure how his summer was going to look.
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Posted: Sat Jun 15, 2024 8:19 pm
Luke grinned again. “You got to meet her? That’s awesome. She’s…honestly so excited by being magical. Sometimes I worry about her, like she thinks this is all a big game of DnD or something but. Yes, I would love that too. It seems like such a great place to stay…I’m sure you and I can work something out to get time up there. I’m planning on–if you can do it, I was gonna ask mom if you can come for like, a full month? If your family will allow it, but it would give us time to get things ready and get us time to go camping and go up to Space? Do you think you’d be able to? If not, it’s okay and we can just plan things whenever but.”
They were talking about summer…and maybe…solid plans would be good for him? Maybe…maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut but…it was too late now.
He was too excited. Too hopeful. And right now hadn’t been the best time to mention it.
“Mom asked about it, so don’t think I’m just springing it on her or something. She thinks you’re a really good friend.”
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Posted: Sat Jun 15, 2024 8:21 pm
Luke sounded happy. Confident. Peaceful.
It was nice to hear. Julian had drifted into a tired apathy but it didn’t mean he was ungrateful to have Luke there with him. He rolled onto his side so his back was to Luke but he could still hear him. It felt nice to bury his face in the pillow, and to curl up close to the wall.
His eyes were wet but he wasn’t worried about having to choke back sobs. The emotions had just built up so much, it was okay if they just leaked out a little bit.
He could still hear Luke talking, and it wasn’t even so bad that it made his breathing awkward or uncomfortable.
Luke was so optimistic, so hopeful. He was good at dreaming. Julian liked how easy it was for him to imagine, to plan.
A million ‘but’s and ‘what if’s popped into his mind but he didn’t have the heart to be so negative when Luke was putting so much into staying positive.
“Maybe. I’ll let you know as soon as I find out what I’m doing this summer. I haven’t touched based with anyone yet. But you’ll be the first person I tell when I know.” A full month was so long–how had Luke convinced his mother? It sounded better than being stuck inside a tiny, cramped room. And Luke was always so energetic, it was easy to just follow along with whatever he had planned.
But still…how had he tricked her into thinking she’d be okay with him around for that long? It was weird to think of Luke talking to her about him. Julian plucked at a loose thread on his blanket.
“...What did you tell her about me?”
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Posted: Sat Jun 15, 2024 8:22 pm
“That sounds good to me!” Luke gave a soft laugh, watching as Julian turned over…it. Gosh he hoped that he could help his friend relax.
“What did I tell her about you? She thinks you're one of the greatest things since sliced bread. Honestly, Jason and I were awful when we first had to move here…and honestly, I was the worst. I was mopey and unhappy to be in the city, but you? You’ve made life so much better, and she appreciates the fact that if I’m whining…it’s mostly because I want you to come over or something. And not that I’m upset that we left Bailey.”
He…was still upset but. It wasn’t the ache it had been. Destiny City...did have its charms, even if the only charms were Julian and the fact that he could become a crazy Knight.
Maybe not crazy but.
“Plus, I just tell her how great you are. How understanding and just…encouraging. You’re an amazing friend, Julian…even if you don’t think so. You really are. I’m so thankful to have you in my life.”
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Posted: Sat Jun 15, 2024 8:32 pm
Julian wasn't that great. Luke must have known it, but he was kind, so Julian laughed softly. He could have made so many friends if he just let himself do it. He was so charismatic, so good with people. He had a light in him that could light up a room and Julain just imagined people were drawn to him like bugs to a lamp.
“I’m thankful to have you in my life, too,” he said. He might have been exhausted and emotionally drained but he meant the words.
He hoped Luke’s mother wasn’t tired of hearing about him. He hoped he lived up to her expectations. He probably didn’t, Luke was so generous with his praise.
“Do you still talk to your old friends?” he asked, but he wasn't really sure why. It was easier to talk about Luke, and Luke seemed to like to talk. He wanted to tell stories anyway, hadn’t he? He couldn’t imagine that Luke didn’t talk to them–he missed Bailey, and he cared so much about his friends. “I’m surprised she hasn’t planned a trip back so you can visit everyone.”
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Posted: Sat Jun 15, 2024 8:33 pm
“Ah that…that’s kind of complicated. She’s so happy here. Bailey…was filled with a lot of memories of our father, and he was just…a major jerk. She’s…not completely better here? Like, she ended up falling for that sleeping scheme that the Negaverse put out a few months back but…she’s getting better. Getting this job here…I don’t know. It took me a while but I do see that it was for the best.”
He gave a soft sigh. “And really…the friendships I had there…mostly? They were…almost superficial? Mostly it was me and Jason. We excelled there, but it was mainly because…well.”
He wrinkled his nose. That they were better than the others? That they were more skilled than the others?
There really wasn’t a good way to say anything.
“We had different skill sets and always challenged one another and…most of the other people in Bailey were happy just…existing.”
He closed his eyes, shifting to lay down himself and tugged his blanket up. “It’s…nice to have people that don’t just exist…but. Make me think. Make me…be a better me. I know that makes me sound like some super narcissist but…I don’t know. People here…make me want to be better. Make me want to try my best to be a good friend. A better Luke.”
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Posted: Sat Jun 15, 2024 8:34 pm
Julian didn’t think it sounded narcissistic to want to be around people that brought out the best in you, and even if he was capable of having negative thoughts about his friends he still would have disagreed.
“I think it makes sense,” he offered. “I want to be a better me, too.” A better friend, a better person, a better son, a better everything. I want to be more like the other people in my life.” He had a lot of good friends–Luke included.
In a fleeting thought, he wondered if he’d have been different if he had a sibling, but then he thought he wouldn’t have wanted to wish that on anyone. Then he felt bad about that and sighed into his pillow. His eyes were wet again but he wasn’t so worried about Luke seeing anything now.
“I hope you make lots of friends while you’re here in Destiny City. I hope you meet people that help you be the you that you want to be.” The one he’d be most proud of.
Luke didn’t really talk about his father and Julian felt a bit ashamed for wanting to ask when he was so secretive about his own private life. “I bet your mom’s proud of you. I’m glad she’s doing okay after all of that, I hope she stays safe.” He sucked in a breath and held onto it for a moment but before he could release it he asked, “Do you ever talk to your father?”
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Posted: Sat Jun 15, 2024 8:35 pm
“I hope so. Thank you for…letting me meet your friends. They all seem nice…” Luke hesitated, a yawn escaping from him, which…was honestly good because he half wanted to make a comment about Julian’s boyfriend but…
It wasn’t needed or necessary. “Oh.”
The question about his father threw him off guard slightly and he blinked. “Ah, no. He ran out on us and mom when we were…shoot. Five maybe? I don’t even really remember him much, but like. He’s the big shining example of what not to be and how not to act…I know that my brother has rules before he’ll ever let himself date someone so he doesn't end up like our father.”
It really was a great way to show what a lousy person could be…and gave opportunities to make sure that one didn’t…follow that path. “I’m…pretty much over it. It mostly just…it bothers me because of how much he hurt mom, I guess. She’s a great mom and really doesn’t deserve to be alone, and…and you can’t tell Jason this because…this is like. Super private and secret for just me…but sometimes I really hope she’ll find someone here and fall in love and just…get to be happy again. She’s always done her best and…she deserves the world.”
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Posted: Sat Jun 15, 2024 8:36 pm
Julian heard the yawn and hoped he wasn’t keeping Luke up. They’d had a long night, he wasn’t going to be upset if he wanted to go to sleep. He was still trying to figure out if he was going to be able to. He felt tired but the emotional baggage was so heavy on his chest that it hurt. It wasn’t very conducive to resting.
He’d try.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I won’t say anything.” Julian was good at keeping secrets, although he felt bad that he’d asked a question where Luke had to ask him to keep something from his twin brother.
“I hope your mom finds someone who will make her happy. And who you and Jason will like.”
He hoped that whatever happened, they were a happy family. He hoped that any changes were good, and he hoped that they were all safe and thriving.
Julian didn’t bother to wipe his eyes, he just pressed more into his pillow and curled up. The bed was soft and the room didn’t feel so hot anymore. Probably thanks to the cold cement walls of their dorm room.
Luke really loved his mother, he really cared about her. And she cared about her sons so much, too.They’d made a happy family, despite all of their hardships. His chest ached so he drew in a slow, steadying breath. It helped a little.
He appreciated Luke. He hoped he always got to be happy.
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Posted: Sat Jun 15, 2024 8:37 pm
“Don’t be sorry! He’s just…a deadbeat. And I just…want mom happy, Thank you, I appreciate that a lot.”
His eyes were growing heavier and he struggled to keep them open. Now that he wasn’t moving, now that there was no real…visible stress and he was laying down…it was getting hard to stay awake.
“Jules? I’m glad you’re my roommate…this place would absolutely suck without you…I don’t think I say it enough. But I do mean it.”
His words were growing sleepier and he shook his head slightly, trying to stay focused. “You’re the best part about the school, and the whole city for that matter. I’m here for you…and I’m always gonna be. No matter what…”
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Posted: Sat Jun 15, 2024 8:37 pm
Julian could hear the sleep creeping into Luke’s voice. If he held his breath and listened he thought he could even hear a groggy mumble slipping into his words.
“Thank you, Luke,” he murmured. It meant a lot. Julian was naturally quiet, but now more so than usual because he didn’t want to rouse Luke since it sounded like he wasn’t fully awake right now.
“I’m glad you’re my roommate, too.” This place would suck without a good friend, and having an unkind roommate could be a lot of extra hardship. He didn’t wish that on anyone, especially Luke. He hadn’t done anything to belong here, it was just an accident.
He’d be out soon, and Julian was happy for him–Luke deserved a place where he could thrive and be free. And, hopefully Julian would be able to get out soon, too.
The circumstances of their introductions might have been less than favorable but going to Hillworth would be worth it if they could get something positive out of it. Julian wanted to look to the future, everything just seemed so vague and uncertain. He’d have to figure out what he could do about it.
Tomorrow, though. He was so tired, and even though he felt the pull of sleep, his eyes kept leaking and his chest kept aching.
“I’m glad you’re here. I hope you have good dreams, Luke.”
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