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 Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2022 5:40 pm
Lyndin smiled a bit when Vyn finished the tea, but the smile had become a bit more sad as he took his seat. “I hope it will not come to that. I hope they can understand that it was a hard choice and a necessary sacrifice. It would be hypocritical to complain about the methods but appreciate the result. To save their family, their home.” He shrugged and held the mug between both hands. The aroma was pleasant, and the warmth seemed to ease his tired hands. “I hope those connections might work out for you. If you think there’s a chance to get anything useful from them, or push them in any helpful direction, let me know. I haven’t got many friends out there, I think they’d be more agreeable to someone they didn’t see as an enemy. I haven’t had many reports on any promising leads from other members of the Vanguard, but I trust you. And a part of me is getting a bit desperate. I don’t like that we don’t know where Caedus is or what he’s gotten intio. If someone is trying to help him, if they think there’s a chance…” He was quiet for a moment and then shrugged. “I’d like to know. I would want to make sure they were taking care of him. He’s been through enough.”
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2022 8:48 pm
Vyn’s smile grew dismal and strained, then faded altogether.
He didn’t know Caedus. He felt for him the way he would feel for anyone who might find themselves in an unfortunate situation — sad that it should be that way, sympathetic to his doubts and fears, but not so torn up about it that he refused to accept what, to many, seemed like an unpleasant option. Caedus was practically a stranger to him. Vyn pitied him, but carried some bitterness, too. None of them would have to be making such difficult choices if Caedus would do the noble thing.
It must grieve the Commodore deeply, even if he wasn’t prone to emotional displays. Caedus’ suffering seemed to concern him as much as the survival of their people did. He was not cold and uncaring. Caedus was his friend, but one’s feelings for one’s friend had to be weighed against the good of everyone.
Vyn sipped at his tea and tried to imagine what it would be like to find himself in the Commodore's shoes, with Aliez in Caedus’ place, but he knew it would never come to that. Aliez would do what Caedus could not.
“Would it save our home?” he began again, gaze cast down, staring into his mug. “Even if we find Caedus… Whether his starseed is recovered and brought to the Cauldron, or someone finds some other means of helping him, that would allow us, potentially, to reclaim and revive Velenia. We’d have a home, but Velencya would still die, wouldn’t it?”
Vyn clutched his mug between his hands tightly enough that the lingering heat felt a bit uncomfortable against his palms.
“You’d still die.”
When he was sure he would be able to keep his emotions in check, Vyn looked back up at the Commodore. He wouldn’t cry this time, even if it terrified him to think of a day when they might not have the Commodore’s guidance or protection.
They could adapt, moving from a synthetic world to a living one. Losing the Commodore would not be as easy — if any of it could even be considered easy in the first place. No matter how he looked at it, Vyn did not expect that they would be able to avoid tragedy entirely.
“Why are you dying?” he asked. Somehow, he kept his voice steadier than he felt. “When you told us, we all just accepted it like it made sense, and I suppose in a way it does. Velencya is the only home we’ve ever known, just as you are the only leader we’ve ever known, aside from the Council. If we’re to lose one then we should expect to lose the other. But… I don’t want to accept that, so… why does it have to be that way? Is it because of who you are? What you are? Why you and not the rest of the Vanguard?”
Vyn hesitated. He almost asked “we’re not all dying, too, are we?” but he knew the Commodore wouldn’t be so adamant that they were their people’s future if that was the case. The Commodore kept some things to himself; he could be vague and secretive, but Vyn had never known him to deal in lies or exaggerations.
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Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2022 8:07 am
Lyndin never seemed frustrated or overwhelmed by the questions, no matter how many there were or how they were worded. “My power is tied to Velencya’s core. I’ve poured my energy into it when it was weak, and it’s returned that energy since. I suppose the best way to think about it is a symbiotic relationship. There were times in the past where it didn’t have the energy it needed to function correctly. I harvested energy from the cosmos, but it needed a conduit. It was a risk back then, but,” he shrugged. “I think it was a necessary one.” And, it had worked out well so far for them. “I think, if we could restore Velenia, and reinstate Velencya as its moon, the natural energy discharge would be enough to power our crystals. This, at least, I have scientific evidence to back up, that’s not just a hypothesis. And, given the energy discharge we already released earlier this year, I’m confident the key to saving Velencya is restoring Velenia.” He held his mug between his hands and continued, “If we were to reduce the strain of the crystals on Velencya, I think it would last longer, and I would, too. We might be able to repair the damage that’s been done, but we can’t do the work we’d need if people are still living on Velencya. It’s too much of a strain and we can’t risk their livelihood. I’ve heard all of these Senshi on Earth saying that their dedication to their world brought it back from the brink of death. I’ve seen Senshi restore life from nothing. Not just plants, but animals, too. So if we could get Caedus to awaken, if he could start restoring Velenia,” he shrugged. “There’s so many ifs. I don’t even know if he’s trying to find a way to save Velenia, or to awaken, or if he even understands the problem. I think Velenia and Velencya will always be connected. And, I think if we can save Velenia, we can save Velencya, too.”
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Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2022 1:06 pm
Vyn nodded to show that he was listening, to show he understood and agreed, that it all made sense, but he lowered his gaze, too, staring into the depths of his tea.
He was silent for several moments, mulling it all over. He wished the Commodore’s confidence and certainty could be more infectious than it was. Perhaps it was to the others, and that was why they seemed so comfortable with the current pace of their mission. Vyn could not help that his thoughts went so often to less favorable possibilities. He bit his lip and fiddled with his mug, pressing his thumb against the edge like he’d found a chip where none existed.
If they could save Velenia, they could save Velencya, and the Commodore. They could save everyone — maybe even Caedus, if someone somewhere found some way to help him awaken. Vyn wished it could be easy. He wished it would happen quickly. He wished everything could work out in a way that was ideal.
But if there was one thing Earth had taught him, it was that circumstances rarely met anyone’s ideal.
“But…” Vyn began, slowly, a little hesitant again, concerned that he might prove himself as naïve as he sometimes thought some of the others were. “... Say we find ourselves in the worst case scenario. Either we can’t find Caedus, or we do and his starseed returns to the Cauldron, but rebirth and awakening takes too long, or maybe something goes wrong and his starseed fails to awaken in the next life, too, so Velenia remains dormant. If we run out of alternatives, and all of our efforts fail…”
Vyn paused. If he were standing, he would be pacing, but on the couch all he could do was tense up and do his best to hold himself still.
“If we run out of time and things with Velencya continue to deteriorate… This relationship you have with Velencya’s core… Could it be replicated, or… expanded… to buy us more time?”
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2022 7:31 am
Lyndin could feel the tenseness radiating from Vyn, so he rubbed at his shoulder gently, as reassuringly as he could manage. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “It might be possible. I don’t know that I have a say in it. The relationship I have with the Core was unprecedented and unknown. And, just because I can’t imagine a way to make that happen again doesn’t mean others might not find a way. I think, with all the life we pour into Velencya, there is something about it that is alive. It is a synthetic world, but it has a heart, I think. In a metaphorical sense. There’s no other reason I can imagine why I was given this bond. It isn’t just power, it’s a knowingness, a connection. I don’t quite understand the relationship I have with it. It is symbiotic, certainly, and I will never regret it. I don’t want to try and force it on anyone else, though, that’s my only reservation.” And, with what he’d seen happen to Caedus, and the fallout on the would-be Sailor Velenia, he was well justified to be cautious about trying to force anything. No matter how willing someone might have been, he didn’t want to do something that could have caused harm. “I don’t want the Core to become disrupted or damaged. If something were to go wrong, if the Core were to become unstable, that’s just as dangerous as where we are now–more so, maybe.” Lyndin didn’t seem like he was thinking negatively, he was only being practical about it. He considered Vyn’s questions completely, and answered with honesty. “I’ve been thinking about trying to gather more energy. With the power I have, I can harvest quite a bite easily. I don’t think I can explain to the people of Earth what it would be for, but I know it wouldn’t hurt them. And if I were discrete, the Negaverse couldn’t even be upset that I was on their hunting ground. It might be possible to gather energy and ship it back to Velencya. It might buy us a bit of time. But we haven’t had research on that yet. We might be able to supplement some of the toll on the Core if we could get them some alternative energy sources. I don’t know,” he admitted, but he turned to Vyn. “What do you think of it?”
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2022 2:53 pm
Vyn continued to chew on his lip until he bit too hard and forced himself to release it. So many unknowns. So many what ifs. So many possibilities, some probable, some not. He felt ill equipped to parse through it all. He still felt much like he had as a Cadet — a bit lost, a bit in awe that he’d found himself here in the first place, conscious of the fact that, while he must possess attributes that made him a good fit, his confidence in himself was shaky at best. Before, at least he’d been able to believe in his comrades. He still did, to an extent, but… doubt was corrosive.
He couldn’t stomach failure, but had little hope for success.
Vyn didn’t flinch away from the hand on his shoulder. He glanced up at the Commodore again and tried desperately to adopt some of the Commodore’s confidence for himself. Vyn was calmer than he’d been upon his arrival, but he didn’t know that he could escape the tension entirely.
“I think it’s worth a try,” he said. Vyn hoped his voice didn’t sound as timid as he thought it must. “Anything might be worth a try at this point. There’s so much to consider, I often find myself overwhelmed by it all.”
He paused again to sip his tea, letting the heat of it — and the Commodore’s hand on his shoulder — soothe him.
“I would like to help, if I can,” he offered, “if alternative energy sources are something you decide to pursue. Or… if you ever require help with some of your other projects… or even just want it, if only for the company, I…”
Vyn flushed faintly, at odds with himself. The Commodore was the best of them; Vyn often thought there wasn’t anything the Commodore couldn’t accomplish, despite proof to the contrary. Even now, Vyn couldn’t quite imagine there was much he himself had to offer, except to follow orders and look after the Vanguard in whatever way he was able. Offering more, even something as simple as company, almost seemed foolish to him.
“I never know where to begin with these sorts of things,” he admitted, “but I like to think I make a good assistant.”
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2022 9:41 pm
“I’d imagine you were the best sort of assistant. You’re very attentive and clever. And you’re very good support, too. I’ve got some things I’m working on now that I’ll have to finish up, but when I clear my plate a bit, before I start anything new, maybe we can work something out.” He was still mulling over their options, and in the absence of progress in any of the directions he wanted, he suspected they were going to have to get creative about things. And, he was glad for any help he could get. “If you ever feel overwhelmed, try taking things one at a time. An avalanche can crush you, but a snowflake is harmless. Break it into pieces and don’t worry about the bigger picture if it’s too much to go over. And if you need me to assign you a specific thing to focus on to make it easier, tell me. We can do that, too. Aliez is always telling me I should take it easy and look after myself a bit more. If you help me with some of my projects, maybe you can pass along that I do sleep every now and then.”
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Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2023 10:31 am
Vyn’s lips twitched, threatening to curve upward.
A part of him didn’t want to smile. That part of him thought, with everything going on, with how hopeless their situation often seemed, that smiling would be inappropriate, that finding any sort of joy in their circumstances would be akin to betrayal.
But he couldn’t squash some small sense of relief. He couldn’t quell the tiny thread of happiness that warmed his heart and made something in his stomach flutter at the thought that he could help the Commodore, that he could spend time with him, seek his help and guidance, and offer his own when the opportunity presented itself. Not that he thought the Commodore needed anything of the sort, but… the fact that he would accept it anyway made Vyn feel pleased.
Vyn had no ideas of his own, but it helped to think he could prove himself useful to their cause anyway. They were the Vanguard, each as important as the other. Earth had tested them, and would probably continue to do so, but if they remained steadfast, if they held to their resolve, maybe the inevitable changes this mission had brought could be used for good.
With that thought in mind, Vyn allowed himself another smile. He set his tea aside so he wouldn’t spill it, then shifted closer to wrap his arms around the Commodore in another hug.
“I’ve only seen you sleep once,” he said, voice quiet, with an edge to it that was almost teasing. “Our first night here, after the hilltop. That’s not a very good track record.”
Vyn put his head on the Commodore’s shoulder, much like he had that night, though he didn’t require a push to do so this time. He felt very brave and very bold for doing so.The Space Cauldron Wooo finally!!! I'm so sorry for the wait on this tag!!! emo
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Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2023 5:38 pm
Lyndin didn’t pull away from the hug; he wasn’t much for physical displays of affection of any kind, but there were old instincts ingrained in him from before the restrictions of Velencya. He laid his arm across Vyn’s shoulder to return the hug, and maybe to reassure him that it was okay. If things went well, if they could save Velencya? Maybe they wouldn’t have to be so strict. Maybe, one day, they’d get to experience what things had been like on Velenia, before they lost everything. “I think that’s because I don’t usually sleep in public,” Lyndin answered, and let a hint of amusement slip into his voice. “But if it would ease your worries, maybe I can head to bed early tonight. There’s enough space in the bed upstairs if you’re ready to turn in, too. If you want to make sure I actually sleep through the night. But if you have more work to do, I won’t keep you.”
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2023 2:40 pm
Vyn flushed, the color so dark as to be almost painful.
He had to force himself not to think, Is the Commodore propositioning me? Then, in doing so, ended up thinking it anyway. He pushed the thought aside as soon as it popped into existence, because, no, of course not, that wasn’t what the Commodore meant at all. Vyn was terribly foolish and incredibly inappropriate, and he was very lucky he’d learned to control the things that slipped out of his mouth, that he actually could stop the thought in its tracks and not sputter out a bunch of nonsense.
With his head on the Commodore’s shoulder, it was easy to hide his face, easy to pretend that his heart hadn’t threatened to jump straight out of his chest. He hoped the Commodore didn’t feel the heat that burned his cheeks, or the nervous tension that suddenly overwhelmed him.
Vyn could behave. He would. He would not imagine impossibilities, or dwell on all the confessions Aliez had written in a message that probably hadn’t been received anyway, or pine for things he couldn’t have and shouldn’t want and—
He’d been quiet for too long. The Commodore would soon suspect that something was amiss, if he didn’t suspect it already.
“I—... Yes!” Vyn said, and hoped he didn’t sound too enthusiastic.
He didn’t lift his head yet, couldn’t make himself look at the Commodore until the heat in his face began to fade. Even then, Vyn lingered, half afraid to let go.
“Thank you,” he said, a bit quiet, a bit shy, but a little more hopeful, too.
They had a difficult mission, one Vyn never could’ve imagined when he first yearned to join the Vanguard, but he believed in the Commodore, and the Commodore believed in him.
Maybe, with enough help, Vyn could begin to believe in himself.The Space Cauldron redface Fin! Tysm ilu!!!!! heart
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