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 Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 5:02 pm
Devyn didn’t move. He didn’t want to move. There wasn’t any reason to move.
There was a brief second when he’d worried that Michael might have pushed himself to the brink of exhaustion, but their foreheads met with such gentleness that he quickly realized how intentional it must have been.
He wasn’t going to run. It was the furthest thing from his mind. He wanted to be here.
For a few seconds, Devyn didn’t move.
The tension that had built up in his brief worry that Michael hadn’t meant to do this slipped away. The rumbling skies didn’t make his chest ache, didn’t make him feel jittery or uncomfortable. The trickle of water didn’t make him think he should be ready to take a deep breath, just in case. His heart had been pounding, but it settled into something comfortable. Something calm.
It took seconds.
He didn’t have any doubt that it was just Michael easing him into a better existence.
Devyn was comfortable like that; he might not have been able to figure out what Michael was thinking, but there was something about him that still just seemed anxious.
Devyn didn’t step away, but he drew back just enough so he could place a light kiss on Michael’s forehead before he returned to how they’d been standing. He brushed his thumb across the back of Michael’s hand and still held it to his cheek.
“It’s okay, Michael,” he said softly. He didn’t know why. It felt right. It was okay.
If something was wrong, Michael would tell him. He trusted him. If nothing was wrong, then they had a moment to just relax. To breathe.
He thought they both deserved that, at least, if nothing more.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 5:35 pm
He could feel the easing tension from Devyn. The way he seemed to settle and relax. There was a moment when Devyn pulled back that Michael thought he was doing too much--
But he didn’t move when Devyn kissed his forehead. And he didn’t move when Devyn settled back to how they’d been.
He was okay with this. He was okay if Devyn just thought of him as a close friend. Michael would never imagine replacing Percy, and from everything he knew about Devyn’s husband, he was so different from Percy that he already knew his heart was fighting a losing battle.
Percy had been perfect. For Devyn at least. So perfect that his starseed still resonated when Devyn was close. That had to be the explanation.
Michael felt guilty for intruding.
And yet it would be so easy… So easy to just lean in closer and express some of his feelings that he couldn’t explain. Even as a poet, there were too many conflicting emotions at war with each other to make sense.
“I fixed that music box for you,” he said instead, his voice still strained with emotion but he seemed to be doing a decent job keeping it even. “You sure you want to stay with me tonight? It might help you sleep better than me.”
Inside, he was already cursing himself for being a coward. He’d been praised for his bravery (although what good was that, really), and yet he couldn’t take that next step. And he was back to trying to push Devyn away.
His heart ached.
It was safer. It would keep Devyn safe. He should focus on his World and on Atticus. Michael was fine just knowing they were okay.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 7:12 pm
“You fixed it?” Devyn asked, and there was a part of him that wanted very badly to pull away just so he could see Michael’s face. He held his hand tighter instead. “How did you do it? I’ve tried everything.”
Or, he thought he had. He wanted to laugh. He could feel the heat in his stomach move to his throat and then it tumbled out in something that sounded a little more raw than it should have been. His eyes were wet already, and it seemed to come as a surprise to Devyn, who didn’t realize anything could have had that effect on him.
Not in front of Michael! He’d been doing so good keeping everything in, what was this?
It was dark, this was fine. He was just excited.
Devyn blinked quickly and shook his head because he already knew how Michael had done it.
He’d probably just been himself. And this stubborn, horrible little treasure of his was probably just waiting until it could play for its proper audience.
Devyn had given it to Percy to keep him company when they were apart. From the moment he’d fixed it, Devyn thought he’d really only heard it with Percy.
Of course it wouldn't work for him. Of course it would work for Michael.
Probably recognized his starseed. Or maybe just how important he was to Devyn. Or maybe it just really liked that necklace, he didn’t know.
“Did you listen to it?”
Of course he’d have listened to it, he’d had to have heard it to know that he’d managed to make it work.
“I want to hear it when we get back. At least once, to see if it sounds like how I remember. But I want to stay with you. I’ve been looking forward to it for the past few days. I just can’t seem to let my guard down when you’re not there. The first few days were fine, but I think everything’s just sort of hit me all at once. And I’m worried about you and want to make sure you get to sleep, too.”
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 7:29 pm
Michael was glad that he took the time he did to gently coax the music box into working. Glad that Devyn gave him the opportunity to try. And he was happy that it sounded like Devyn was relieved… excited to know it was working again.
“Mmm,” he made a noise in confirmation, his thumb brushing absently over Devyn’s cheek as they stood together. “I’ll show you what I did, just in case it gets stubborn again. It didn’t seem like it was too damaged, so it was just a little bit of fiddling around.”
He wasn’t sure how to feel knowing that Devyn still wanted to stay with him. Relived, of course. Hopeful, maybe. No, he shouldn’t. He wasn’t Percy. He could accept that it was Percy’s starseed inside him, though.
Devyn said himself that he couldn’t seem to let his guard down when Michael wasn’t there, and that he felt at peace with him. Maybe he really did just need to accept… whatever this was between them.
“I hate to tell you, though,” he started after a moment, not sure how to break it to Devyn without just telling him. “Someone must have really liked that tune because it’s an Earth lullaby. My mom used to sing it to me when I was little,” he said, hoping Devyn wasn’t too upset, but… he had the right to know, especially since it was supposed to be from his world, and something special between himself and Percy.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 7:38 pm
“Did she?” He sounded too excited to be upset. “I’ll have to ask her where she learned it when we go back. Is it popular on Earth? –Percy never said anything. I don’t care, it’s still a good music box. I still want to hear it.”
Still one of his treasures. The urge to just go to sleep standing up, resting against Michael was still strong, but only because he didn't remember the last time he was this comfortable. He didn't get tender affection like this, and he seemed like a sponge ready to soak it all up.
“You don’t have to show me how to fix it, I’ll just bring it to you any time it’s acting up. It’s not like I’m going far.”
And, he was good at fixing things! He’d fixed more music boxes than he could remember. It was just that one that was so temperamental.
He laughed again, because even if anyone else had heard it, it was still special to him. Even with the news, he didn’t want to move away from Michael’s hand. “If it’s familiar to you, I hope it brought you a bit of comfort while I was gone. I was worried that you wouldn’t sleep well.”
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 7:47 pm
“I was surprised to hear it. I don’t think it’s too popular. I don’t know where mom heard it from, but it’s the exact same tune. I’m glad you’re not upset about it though,” he said with a quiet sigh of relief. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Devyn that his special music box wasn’t as special as he thought.
No, it was still special, just the music was… surprisingly also on Earth.
Michael didn’t want to move. He was comfortable, and he liked being able to feel the muscles in Devyn’s face work into a smile.
But he also knew they needed to get home.
“I’ll sleep better with you with me,” he admitted, which seemed pretty hypocritical of him, since he’d just offered Devyn the chance at not staying with him.
“But the music was nice. It helped calm me down when that necklace was going crazy. Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked then, because he was worried. “You don’t have to talk about it, but… thanks for letting me know that you were okay… Soleiyu is probably wondering what’s taking so long,” he added after a moment. They would have more time together at home, they just needed to get everything packed up.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 8:08 pm
“Oh, right. Soleiyu.” Devyn didn’t want to be the first one to draw away, but Michael was right. The faster they got home, the faster they could get to bed. He was exhausted. He missed his pajamas. Missed Michael’s bed. Missed sleeping.
He squeezed Michael’s hand once more before he finally took a step back.
“I’m okay,” he promised. “I started getting,” he hesitated and then made a vague gesture, “Distracted? Kept seeing shadows, hearing voices. I don’t think Sessrumnir’s haunted.” Maybe he was, though. “But I know I wasn’t sleeping well. But I didn’t trust myself to actually sleep. I can’t remember what I was dreaming about, but everytime I drifted too close I could feel myself getting too worked up.”
Michael said he didn’t have to talk about it, but he wasn’t sure what else there was to say. Even if Michael trusted him, Devyn knew how easy it was to just assume the worst. He didn’t want him to worry.
“But I am fine. Just an overactive imagination.” Probably. “I just need a good night’s sleep, I’m sure I’ll be good as new, afterwards. But I know I’m not going to get that unless I’ve got you next to me, so I’m not even going to push my luck. Do you want me to go wake up Atticus? We’ve got everything mostly packed up.”
He’d kept everything together, just in case there was any sort of emergency and they had to leave quickly. Even their projects were packed up, and he’d brought a few paintings down to the office to take them back home, too.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 8:13 pm
Michael was quiet as Devyn spoke, thoughtful. He didn’t think Sessrumnir was haunted, but he could understand prolonged periods of time where there were a lot of memories.
He missed their closeness immediately, but he knew they needed to collect everything and head back.
“You’ll get it. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll just sleep in tomorrow, it’s fine,” he promised. “School’s out for the summer anyway. I’ve got a while before I help with summer school, and even that’s not required if…” he paused and frowned a little, because he was afraid of planning too much.
“I was thinking… I don’t think Atticus has had a normal childhood. And you still have a lot to learn about Earth. Maybe it would be a good idea if I took the summer off and we just… did whatever. Travel. Visit museums. Check out restaurants. With the Reids too, of course. They’re stubborn, but maybe I can use Atticus to convince them to let me fund at least their summer bills that they usually need a second job for,” he suggested with a shrug. He knew they were humble and wanted to pull their own weight, but how often did they get to help recreate a kid’s childhood into something… more than it had been? He couldn’t imagine them needing too much convincing, especially once he got Elliot on board.
“But… yeah, let’s wake up Atticus and head back. We can talk about everything more later. Just. Food for thought.”
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 8:30 pm
Devyn couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept in, and ordinarily the idea might not have appealed to him; he loved waking up, loved eating breakfast, loved getting up and starting his day. Something in the back of his mind told him he didn’t deserve the luxury, there was too much to do.
Except, when Michael suggested it, it sounded so good.
And Michael said it would be fine if they did–and he was such a hardworking busy-body that if he said it was fine, it was fine. He must have needed it, too.
“I like that idea. All of it. I know teaching is important to you, but you deserve a break, too. If you want one. Well–I suppose it wouldn’t be that much of a break. You could still teach me, I have a lot of questions. Atticus and I want to go to the aquarium. And the zoo. I don’t know what a turtle is, but he was making one for Elliot. Oh, I made something for you, too. I’ll show you when we get home, it doesn’t have to be now. The bags are all in the office so it shouldn’t be too long. I’ll go wake up Atticus, but I can’t leave without giving Princess a squeeze. If you don’t mind, please. I can be quick. But, I found some portraits of her and I’m bringing one back with us. I’ll have to show her the rest the next time we come back. And I found some of Alastor, too. I want to show you the next time we’re here, too. And then figure out what to do about the Chaos there. But I’m getting ahead of myself–none of that is going to get done until we sleep, first.”
He took a step forward, like he meant to go wake up Atticus, but paused, because he needed another quick hug from Michael.
“Thank you, again. For everything. I just want you to know how much I appreciate you.”
Maybe he wanted Michael to know how much he meant to him, too.
Even if he didn't quite know how to put it into words.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 8:47 pm
Well, at least Michael knew that Devyn was in a relatively good mood based on how much he was talking. He didn’t like the visits with Jeremy and Soleiyu where Devyn barely said anything. Even when Asher had visited when they first met Chad-- Atticus. Michael preferred it when Devyn spoke his thoughts out loud instead of keeping them to himself.
He was doing a poor job of hiding a smile as Devyn spoke, but when Devyn stepped forward to hug him again, Michael didn’t hesitate to lift his arms and hug him back.
For a little while, Michael didn’t say anything. He just rubbed Devyn’s back and brushed his fingers through Devyn’s hair as they embraced.
But then he cleared his throat and pulled back a little before his cheeks could turn too red from being flustered from the affectionate words. He didn’t trust himself and his voice not to break again, so he just nodded and fussed with the collar of Devyn’s shirt a bit, and brushed his hair off his shoulders.
“Come on, might as well let Atticus know I’m not the wolf I think he’s still convinced I am.”
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