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 Posted: Mon May 16, 2022 6:59 pm
Oh, his heart sank.
He’d asked about the art. Chad might not have been getting them all together if he hadn’t asked. Guilt washed his face briefly but he pulled himself from the swing and stood nervously. He chewed on the inside of his cheek but said, “I’m sorry, Chad.”
Elliot couldn’t understand that, why anyone would want to get rid of it--Chad was taking it out of the house, anyway!
“Can I–do you want a hug? I don’t know, I’m sorry. I know they were important to you. That’s not fair, what does he think it’s distracting you from?”
Being happy? Having an outlet? Doing something he loved?
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2022 7:15 pm
Chad glanced up when Elliot stood. For a moment, he thought that Elliot was going to walk away. Maybe he was getting too emotional to deal with and Elliot decided he was hungry and wanted to go home anyway.
Why Chad thought that Elliot would do anything except be nice to him, he had no idea. Elliot had never given him any indication that he wanted to be anything but kind and considerate, and Chad silently chastised himself for even thinking that Elliot was going to just leave him.
When instead, Elliot was asking if he wanted a hug.
When was the last time Chad had a hug? Not for a few years at least. Not since his grandmother passed away.
He didn’t know how he should respond to a question like that. Should he stand up? He felt too sore to get up, but he would try if that was what Elliot needed him to do. So for now, he just… nodded. Yes, he would like a hug… he wasn’t sure what else to do about it, though.
“I don’t make really good grades… and I’m not good at sports… and… there’s something wrong with me that he wants fixed and--... art is just something that… makes it worse I guess.”
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2022 7:59 pm
When he nodded for a hug, Elliot came over and, as gently as he could, wrapped his arms around his shoulders. It was not his best hug because he couldn’t squeeze him, but it was all he could think to do. He wasn’t shy about it; Elliot went into everything with confidence.
Just, caution, because he really didn’t want to accidentally snap his neck or break his arm off or something.
“I don’t agree.” He wasn’t a professional, wasn’t a parent, but it didn’t matter. Anything that made you cry wasn’t good. It didn’t take a genius to see that Chad was all sorts of torn up, and new friend or not, Elliot was going to put his all into this friendship.
“I’ll help you study. My parents are both teachers, if there’s something you don’t understand, they can help. And if you want to get better at sports, come play with me. I’ll teach you. We can find something. There are lots of sports. Don’t stop doing art. People aren’t supposed to stop doing things they love. And even if I didn’t get to see everything, I know you’re good. Don’t take them home anymore, keep them at school. Or let me hold onto them. I won’t let anything happen to them. You shouldn’t give up something you love.”
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2022 8:12 pm
His heart skipped a beat or two when Elliot put his arms around him. It was so gentle, and yet it was so kind and good that Chad couldn’t help but want more. Cautiously, because he didn’t want to do it wrong, he lifted his arms to wrap around Elliot’s waist. And after a few moments, turned his head to hide his face against Elliot’s stomach.
He could only imagine how angry his father would be if he saw Chad hugging another boy. It wasn’t as if Chad hadn’t heard every name in the book thrown at him. But he couldn’t control how he felt. Just as he couldn’t control that he was born in the first place. Or everything else that has happened in his life so far.
Elliot offering to help him study, offer to help him with sports (although he really didn’t want to run around and get all sweaty), and encouragement to continue doing art was just so incredibly kind and wonderful that Chad couldn’t stop the tears.
He knew it unfair to make Elliot shoulder his burdens, but Chad couldn’t help but sob against him as he hugged him tighter. He knew it was unfair that he got to unload his emotions and make Elliot stand there. And he also knew it wasn’t fair for Chad to not want Elliot to leave. Which… the thought of him not being his friend any more only made him cry harder.
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2022 5:37 am
He’d never had a hug quite like this, but he’d never been in a situation quite like this. He adjusted position just slightly, hardly much at all, to make sure he didn’t trip over himself or lose balance. He held the hug and let Chad cry. A part of him was panicking, he couldn’t help it.
He wasn’t used to this much emotion. It wasn’t a bad thing! He just didn’t want to say the wrong thing. He wasn’t embarrassed by it, he just didn’t know how to help.
If staying quiet while Chad let out all his emotions helped, he’d have stayed for as long as he could. His phone hadn’t gone off again so he wasn’t rushing to leave or focus on anyone else. He was hunched over in a bit of an awkward position, but it didn’t matter. He maintained his gentle, careful hug, and rubbed down his back carefully in the way his parents did when they were trying to comfort him.
“It’s okay,” he reassured. It didn’t feel okay. He couldn’t understand why someone would want to be so mean to anyone, much less their family. He got along with his parents for the most part, but there were times when they frustrated him. It wasn’t perfect, but they didn’t throw away his things.
“We’ll figure this out, I’ve got your back.”
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2022 10:21 am
He knew it was probably uncomfortable for Elliot to stand there with his arms around him as he sat on the swing. He knew it was probably awkward and gross to have someone crying into his shirt. Chad knew he should stop. He wanted to stop. He didn’t want to seem even more useless than he left. More useless than he knew he was.
But Elliot said he had his back, and he was staying there with him, and he was comforting him, and it was nice. Even the butterflies in his stomach weren’t so horrible, although they did want him to hug Elliot for a lot longer. And tighter. And just… hold onto him forever.
Because Elliot was safe. He didn’t feel afraid when Elliot was around. There were lingering fears of the unknown and what he knew he would expect back home, but nothing immediate. He didn’t have to worry about getting teased or hurt.
Chad didn’t know how long he held onto him, but eventually he made himself pull back. He rubbed at his face, and winced when he pressed a bruise a little too hard. He felt guilty that he got Elliot’s shirt wet.
“Thank you, Elliot,” was all he could think to say. Or at least say out loud. There were a lot of things he could say, but it was better if he kept those things to himself.
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2022 10:28 am
It didn’t matter if his muscles started to burn a little, or that he could feel the dampness from Chad’s tears, Elliot just stayed put and tried to be reassuring without pressuring him or accidentally hurting him. He’d have stayed for longer–as long as Chad needed–but he offered no resistance when Chad pulled back.
Elliot stood up a little straighter and moved to the side just a bit–enough that he wasn’t smothering Chad, but still close enough that he could give him another hug if he needed one.
“I didn’t realize things were so hard for you. I’m glad we started talking. You shouldn’t have to deal with all of those things.”
He wanted to say that Chad’s father sounded really bad. Like. Pathetic. And selfish. And mean. There were probably other words but Elliot was a good boy and didn’t want to think them too loudly. Just in case.
“I meant it when I said I’d help. You don’t have to do it alone. We’ll look after each other. We can study during lunch, and after school. Maybe you can come over and study with me, and I can teach you how to play sports or something if that’s so important to your dad. We’ll figure it out, it’ll be okay.”
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2022 11:44 am
Chad nodded a few times to let Elliot know he was listening to him, and that he heard everything he was saying. He wanted another hug. He wanted to hug Elliot forever. He was warm and kind and it was no wonder why everyone liked him. He was a genuinely nice person, and there seemed to be so few of those.
“Okay, thank you,” he said again, even as the dread of what was going to happen set in. There was no telling what was going to happen to him next, or how much worse off he’d be. Maybe he would hit his head and not wake up. Or any other number of things that had been suggested to him over the years.
“Elliot,” he said after a few moments, and reached out to gently take hold of his hand. Chad squeezed it as he looked up at him, and showed him as sincere of a smile as he could manage while his face was still puffy and gross from tears, and discolored from bruises.
“I’m really, really happy I got to meet you. Thank you for being so kind. So, no matter what happens, just remember that I’m glad I got to be your friend.”
He hoped he would be able to tell Elliot that many, many times, but just in case he couldn’t, he hoped Elliot would feel better knowing.
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2022 11:57 am
Elliot blinked when Chad took his hand, and tried to ignore the way his stomach flip-flopped when Chad took his hand and smiled.
“I’m not going to forget that, I promise. I’m glad we’re friends, too. We’re gonna be friends for a long time. A really long time.”
He wanted to smile so he could reassure him, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it when Chad was teary-eyed and bruised. He managed a half smile, but his brows were still furrowed. He shifted positions just slightly to shrug the bag he’d carried with him off of his shoulder. “Are you thirsty? I’ve got some water. It’ll make you feel better. Have you had dinner? I think I have um, a Rice Krispies bar? It’s not much. But you can have it, here,” he said, and presented both of them. “I did drink out of the bottle but we can take off the top if you want. I didn’t spit on it.”
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2022 1:04 pm
He hoped Elliot was right. He hoped that they would be friends for a really long time. He hoped that they wouldn’t have to worry about more days that were missed at school, or spent in the hospital, or wondering what was going to happen.
Chad let go of Elliot’s hand when he moved to get the things out of his bag and shook his head. “I haven’t eaten, no,” he said. He wasn’t even sure what time it was now, much less when the last time he had anything to eat was. Once again, Elliot was offering him food. He watched as Elliot dug through his bag for the water and snack, and offered him a small smile in thanks.
“I don’t mind if you drank from it,” he said, because it was definitely cleaner than some of the things he’d eaten or put in his mouth. He had been rummaging in a dumpster for bagels, after all. Unfortunately, he didn't have the time or strength to figure out what he was going to eat.
“Oh… but if you don’t want me drinking from it, then yeah we can take off the top.” Maybe Elliot didn’t want to spread germs, which was understandable.
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2022 1:17 pm
“I don’t care, I just know that some people are weird about it. Here,” he said, and gently pushed the water bottle and treat into his hands. “Have as much as you want. My house isn’t far, I can go get more. If you got hurt, you should be eating a balanced meal so you can get better soon. I don’t think I have anything else, but…”
He fished through his bag. “I’ve got some gum? But I don’t think you should eat that. It’s so late, Chad…”
And he still hadn’t eaten?
“We’re only eating so late tonight because of parent-teacher conferences. I think it’s sloppy joes. Are you going to be at school tomorrow? –It’s okay if you aren’t! I want you to rest and get better. But you look–well, those bruises look so bad, Chad…it must hurt a lot. Did you take, like, Tylenol or anything? I think I have some of that, but you definitely can’t eat that on an emptyish stomach.”
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2022 4:33 pm
Chad carefully took the water bottle into his hands and drank from it. Only sips for now because he didn’t want to end up throwing it back up. He struggled with the wrapped Rice Krispy treat, though. No matter how hard he tried pulling on the wrapper, his fingers kept slipping. He laughed softly about it, of course, because once again he wasn’t able to do something for himself and had to rely on his friend’s kindness. Which, of course, Elliot gave freely.
“Um… the nurses gave me some hard candy before I left this morning. Dad didn’t want me staying longer. Didn’t want to waste the money when I was fine,” he explained. Because everything he did was a waste. A waste of money. Time. Energy. Care. At least with his father.
Elliot though… he was so sweet and nice. He could have been home eating dinner with his parents, but instead he was with him.
“I haven’t had any medicine, no. Not since this morning. I think I’ll be back at school. I would rather be at school than home. Or the hospital,” he added, because while he didn’t mind the people there, the place itself was horrible.
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2022 4:54 pm
When Chad seemed to be struggling with the wrapper, Elliot carefully reached out to help him tear it open. “You fell down the stairs and you’re not even taking medicine? Do you want some? It’s safe. I mean, I take it. Is that weird? I take this. But only two. I want to get you real food. More than just sugar.”
Who said it was a waste of money to stay at the hospital? –Oh, well, technically his dad did, but he had the distinct impression that was because he wanted to be home, not there. But Chad didn’t want to be at home, and his dad didn’t seem to care enough to keep him in bed and resting.
He didn’t like it, and his stomach was doing that churning thing again. Elliot was upset and didn’t understand. If he’d fallen down the stairs, his parents would have stayed with him in the hospital. Would have taken off of work, would have done everything to look after him.
Wouldn’t have destroyed his most precious possessions!
“Tomorrow, I’m going to make French Toast. I’ll be at school early and–soup. A lot of food. You want–I can get a pizza bagel now? I don’t know. I want to make you feel better. However I can. I just feel really bad.”
He wondered if this would have happened if he hadn’t asked to see his art, and he wondered, with great worry, if Chad blamed him at all.
Whether he did or not, it wouldn’t have changed the fact that Elliot wanted to help his friend feel better.
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2022 5:07 pm
Chad smiled, tired but gracious, up at Elliot when he took the snack to open for him. He took it back once it was open so he could nibble at the corner.
“I trust you,” he promised, because if anyone was looking out for his best interest, it would be Elliot. It was still impossible to believe that he was friends with Elliot, and yet here they were. Elliot was offering to bring him food and take care of him. Chad only hoped that one day he could repay him.
“Please don’t feel bad. I’m okay. This isn’t even that bad,” he said as he gestured to himself. “Thank you for looking after me. I’m just… too tired to be able to do much for myself right now.”
Normally he would have been able to figure out what he could find to eat, but after his injuries and not eating much that day, he was just… tired. And in pain. Maybe once he slept for a bit he would feel better.
“Being able to see you already made me feel better. Thank you, Elliot. Really. You’ve done so much for me already.”
He felt bad for Elliot having to do so much, and of course he was grateful, but he wished he could do something in return.
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Posted: Tue May 17, 2022 5:23 pm
Elliot gave him a look, because he couldn’t imagine his injuries not being that bad. “Chad, you fell down the stairs,” he said, visibly concerned. “Stubbing your toe ‘isn’t that bad’. I’m glad you feel a little better, but that’s really dangerous, you could have gotten seriously hurt! You did get hurt!”
He was animated, but careful to remain soft spoken and not say anything too late. It wasn’t Chad’s fault.
“If you’re tired, do you need help getting home? I guess you can’t cheat and spend the night at my house. My parents could come pick us up.” He sighed, but then said, “Well–the offer’s there, I mean. If you ever do want to get away or anything. I’ll give you my phone number, I can sneak you in through the window pretty easy, I’m sure. Oh, I mean. My parents would probably let you come in, too. But.” He chewed on his lip. “...The point is, we don’t have stairs in my house. And you’re not like my other friends, they’re too loud. And care too much that my parents are teachers.”
And, Chad was different. He was quiet, and nice, and considerate, and sweet–oh, but if his other friends were afraid of teachers, maybe Chad would be, too.
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