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Posted: Sun May 02, 2021 4:41 pm
And there was the panic he had been expecting. "I'm not doing anything." He swore. "You don't feel any different do you? You're not suddenly tired. I haven't done a single thing." Caledonite watched as she buried herself in her arms. "If you want it to be. I could just force it on you but... I won't." At least not yet anyway. "Technically, you need to be conscious for it, I believe. I don't actually know if corruption works if you're unconscious." "Killing you, is a waste of your potential. I've been saying that I see more for you. Why would I snuff that out before you can even achieve that. If you don't believe me, that is your choice. I will find other ways to show you that you can be better." One way or another. Caledonite rolled his eyes. "Who says corruption is horrible. If anything, isn't order the thing that's bad? Order means rules, and regulations. It's predictably You step out of line and you're in trouble. There is no individuality with order. Chaos... Chaos is unpredictability. Life is unpredictable. You have the freedom to do whatever." Cale shifted a little closer, and placed a hand on her shoulder. "This doesn't have to be an over night decision. I... would like to point out though. You've been left alone, for some time now with a strong chaotic energy and no one has come to check on you. To make sure you're alright. Nothing. I swear to you that you would not be alone if things were different."
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Posted: Sun May 02, 2021 5:54 pm
She shook her head. “No...I’m not feeling suddenly tired at all...I just.I don’t understand. There’s literally nothing special about me...not as a Cosmos Page...not as anything...I think...you’re wrong, you know? I…”
Dinara swallowed and stiffened for a second with the hand on her shoulder, though relaxed quickly. “...Nobody ever comes to check on me...and I think I’m always hanging around people who are in the pay of chaos...if you guys get paid, I mean. Someone...I fought someone yesterday and...he told me the same thing...that I should join with you guys...that it was nicer…”
She kept her face buried in her arms, kept her eyes closed, but scooted just a little closer, leaning into the feeling of his hand.
“...But you’re all saying this stuff but...what if I change and you don’t like me anymore? What then? I won’t have anything. I’ll be even more alone.”
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Posted: Sun May 02, 2021 6:52 pm
"You're free to think I'm wrong, but that will not change what I think. I think that there is something special about you. I know that there is." Caledonite did not immediately remove his hand. "They do not pay us to say these things. It is a choice. Just as this is. I choose to be what I am. I just want you to choose what you want, instead of you settling for what someone told you to do." Finally, he moved his hand, only to reach across her shoulders and enveloped her in a hug. "You might change, yes. But that does not mean you would be alone. You would be my responsibility, in a way. One I would not take lightly. One I don't take lightly. I've made sure that Marialite and Galaxite can handle themselves on their own. I can do that for you too. We might patrol alone but we come back to each other, in the end. You could have that too, you know."
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Posted: Sun May 02, 2021 7:05 pm
When she felt the hug, Dinara gave a soft sniff and scooted closer again, moving to bury her face against Caledonite’s chest, unhappy with far too many things, and most of them vague and nameless. “...I don’t want to go now. But will I see you again? I never see anyone again. It’s...I saw Kanan again but then…”
She shrugged and gave a slightly bitter laugh. “...He told me he was a Jedi Padawan. And I believed him, like the dumb idiot I am…” The page looked up and sniffed again, her glasses smudged and covered in tears.
“And something happened. I don’t know what happened. It hurt a little, and I think I...I don’t know. He said I had a star in my chest...and I said he...my...my starseed. He said he wanted it and I thought he wanted to kiss me! I had a crush on him and...he took it out...I think….It’s a little fuzzy but...then he apologized and I never...saw him again…”
Dinara swallowed and wiped at her eyes again, shaking her head. “...Will I see you again?”
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Posted: Sun May 02, 2021 7:57 pm
Caledonite hadn't expected her to turn around and bury herself against him. He stiffened momentarily before forcing himself to relax. "You don't have to go now if you don't want to. Just tell me when and where." He said, wrapping his arms loosely around her. "If you want to see me again, you will. I will look for you, when I can. Maybe I can bring Marialite, or Galaxite next time? Or it can be just me again. If you've crossed paths with Maria, I'm sure Gala's not too far behind." " He was the dumb one if that's all he saw himself as.." Caledonite grumbled. When she mentioned the starseed he sat back, looking alarmed. "A starseed, yes. Everyone has one. That is yours and no one else's. Don't let anyone touch it." ...He could afford to gloss over the fact a General Sovereign would have to touch it, for now anyway. "Yes, if your starseed gets removed, things will indeed get 'fuzzy'." Her words suddenly cut him off. "... I'm sorry, what? You... You thought he was going to kiss..." Well now... This was, different, to say the least. "Uh...Might... Might I ask why you thought he was going to kiss you?" "I told you. If you want to see me again, you will."
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Posted: Sun May 02, 2021 8:09 pm
“Oh...Um...Maybe here? In a week? Would that be okay? I...just you. If you show up…” Dinara hesitated, chewing on her bottom lip and took off her glasses, scrubbing her eyes again and wiping the glasses on her dress, trying to clean them as best she could.
“If you show up they can come the next time...and we...we can talk about...me coming with you three…” His reaction over the starseed, made her pause and go a little pale. “...Is...it wasn’t...it wasn’t bad...He...He was my friend...I liked him a lot...I...I thought we...I mean…”
She had a crush on him, clearly. And even though two years had passed since she had last seen the would be padawan…
“...I thought that chaos would have to be put into my starseed...won’t it have to be touched then? It’ll have...have to be a stranger?” The idea of that...was a little off putting but...well. Dinara didn’t have to worry about those details yet...
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Posted: Sun May 02, 2021 8:23 pm
"A week is fine. I can do that." He watched as she fidgeted with her glasses and he frowned. "I would give you my shawl for that." Cale said, shifting an arm so the sheer fabric shifted in the wind. "But I think it would just scratch at the glass and do more harm then good." The Captain nodded softly. "We can do that. All of us, talking that is. I'm sure Marialite would like to see you again, and you her." "It sounds like he was just using you Dear, to fill his quota." He was too, in his own way he supposed. "Technically... Yes. Chaos would have to be put in your seed. But only if you come with us. If you choose to stay as you are, well.." She was chaos free. Obviously. "Were I stronger, a General.. I could do it. But.. as you can see, I'm not." So she didn't have to fear him for that, at least. "It would have to be a Sovereign, or a General if you knew one. But I'll be there, if you want me to be, for the whole thing. I was there for Gala and Maria. I will be there for you to."
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Posted: Mon May 03, 2021 6:44 pm
Dinara hesitated. “I...I don’t think he was using me at all...he did it by mistake at first...and then I said that he could...and...he put it back…”
And then left. Without a goodbye. And she never saw him again...and oh god, did she ever miss him…
“It...it’s okay if you can’t do it...but you’ll be there, right? You’ll...be there to um. Welcome the new me home…?” The page chewed on her lip and shrugged. “I...I mean If I decide to do it, If not...then we’ll just be friends...and um. You can use me to fill your quotas if...there’s something besides my starseed that I can give…”
She drew in a long, deep breath and drew away, standing up and brushing off the back of her dress. “...This time next week...here...you promise? Really promise because...if you’re not here...I’m just...never going to become Dinara again, and I’ll just. Pretend I never existed anyway…” That would be...it would amount to the same thing, she figured.
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Posted: Tue May 04, 2021 6:27 pm
"Dear... How can you be so sure?" Caledonite sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Don't just tell people they can take your starseed. Love, that will kill you. If someone takes that and shatters it, you're done for. Permanently. You can not just...." He sighed again. "You can't just be so...giving with it."
The Captain leaned back on one hand and nodded. "Yes... I would be there. Both for the corruption, and to take you home. Gala and Maria will be at the house waiting, or would you want them to be at the corruption?" The fact she thought that they could be friends after if she didn't corrupt was... something. "Dear, cross faction... friendships, aren't exactly smiled upon by either side." Again she spoke of just willingly giving herself. "Again. You can't just say things like that. Giving to much energy is a thing. You will power down. Your glamour will fade and then you will truly have nothing. They will know who you are, there will be no living a normal life after that."
He nodded, watching as she dusted herself off. "Next week, just me. I promise." Caledonite stood then, mirroring her actions and brushing off the dirt from his coat tails. "Never powering up is a waste of your potential... I know you can be something more. Dinara, please...."
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Posted: Tue May 04, 2021 8:40 pm
The page drew in a sharp breath and then just…shrugged. “I...don’t know but…” But Dinara suddenly didn’t want to hear anymore. She wanted to be home. And even though...even though it would be a waste of her potential...she didn’t want to power up again...she just.
Wanted to leave it all behind.
“Yeah...n-next week.” She gave a little incline of her head and swallowed hard. “...Next week. But...I’m...going home now...so um…”
Dinara took a step backwards, much like she had with the last encounter. Had it really been only yesterday? She felt the same rising panic and swallowed hard once again. “...Bye.”
With a little wave of her hand she took off into the night, waiting until she could no longer feel Cale’s aura before powering down and heading to the apartment where her siblings lived...wanting the comfort of someone reassuring. Someone who didn’t know about any of this stuff.
Someone normal.
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