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 Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 11:45 am
His brows pinched. His teeth grit. Rakovanite didn’t feel resilient. He felt weak and alone and scared and hopeless. This place was nothing he’d ever experienced before. It brought forth unwanted emotions he’d similarly never experienced before. How could Narcissus try to say what he thought Rakovanite was when this unusual trial constituted the vast majority of the time they’d spent together?
-Maybe he didn’t really feel ‘alone,’ then. Narcissus had endured everything he had and wanted for them both to keep enduring. His fingers curled against the fabric of the senshi’s pants, and he turned to tuck his face closer against the other man’s shoulder.
Legs shifted beneath his fingers, and Rakovanite blinked, tipping his head to stare inquisitively back at Narcissus.
There were things they could do to try and feel good together. Rakovanite just hadn’t really imagined Narcissus as being interested in the same variety of stress relief he was. He thought of the senshi as more of a goody-goody, too preoccupied with worrying over other people to want anything for himself. Rakovanite’s eyes narrowed. And maybe this wasn’t really for himself. Maybe it was only there with the expectation that it would make Rakovanite feel better.
Did he care if that was the case? He slid his fingers further along Narcissus’ leg to the inside of his thigh. Would it bother him if it was just for him, so long as there was enough enthusiasm to be convincing otherwise…?
Rakovanite tipped his head to bring his nose closer to Narcissus’ neck and inhaled slowly as his fingers traced experimentally along the inside seam of the senshi’s pants. “You smell good,” he murmured softly. Like garden herbs and fresh water. Not like he was stuck in a filthy village with no soap or hygiene, but like he’d just stepped out of a cool, clear stream in a forest, or something…
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 11:59 am
He pressed closer, drawing their bodies together while his palm curled around the back of Rakovanite’s neck to hold him against him. They hadn’t really had a lot of physical contact, besides the fleeting minutes they’d danced together to the music from Diesel’s iPod, and the time of their first meeting, when Narcissus had set Rakovanite’s shoulder. He’d noted then that the other man was particularly broad, and especially- Mm… Well-defined.
He delicately, almost warily, traced the pad of one finger down the agent’s back, along the divots of muscles he could feel through Rakovanite’s tight black shirt. Narcissus leaned his chest into Rakovanite, turning to brush their lips together as the man’s hand slid up his thigh, and his lashes fluttered shut.
They opened slowly, and-
-Oh, <******** jolted sharply as a bright rainbow of color from the other side of the room drew his focus. Diesel was paying them little mind as he lay on the floor with his back to them, scooting cards across the ground. But it didn’t matter that he didn’t see them or maybe just didn’t care what they were doing. He was still there! Sitting little more than a handful of feet away! Rakovanite’s underage little brother. Narcissus yanked himself out from under Rakovanite’s hands and bolted to his feet in the span of an instant.
“W-we should go for a walk!” He declared quite loudly, voice high and tight as he stared down at the agent through magenta eyes blown wide. “Yes, I th-think we should! It will be good to, uh- g-get some air, after being inside all day.”
He fidgeted, tucking his hair behind his ear and smoothing down the end of Rakovanite’s coat that Narcissus still wore. He cast a quick look back at Diesel, then swallowed and offered a hand down to the agent. “Come on,” he said, putting as much pressing insistence into his voice as he could muster, since he didn’t really expect Rakovanite would be that thrilled about it. But he wanted to convey that it wasn’t like Narcissus was trying to get away from him, or anything. Just… not here. “It doesn’t have to be a long walk, or anything.”
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 12:10 pm
Narcissus’ touches seemed so light, almost more careful even than when he’d washed Rakovanite’s hair just a handful of minutes prior. The senshi had always expressed a little more care when dealing with people than Rakovanite did, but it fed the thought that they were only at this point because Narcissus felt obligated to do something to keep Rakovanite from feeling too depressed.
And Rakovanite still hadn’t worked out if he cared.
He thought he should. But he also thought that he did want to feel good, and Narcissus seemed like an available and decently willing outlet for that. It was just strange how delicate his touches felt, how slight the brush of his lips over Rakovanite’s own. Was it something he did because he felt it was necessary, or was it something he did because he was worried Rakovanite might be offended? Would Rakovanite become offended…? He didn’t think so… He didn’t think he was often irritated by contact like this, when it was meant to reassure him…
He tucked his free hand under Narcissus’ chin, lifting the other man’s face so he could press a decidedly less delicate kiss to his lips and murmured, “Are you afraid of-?”
He didn’t get farther than that. Narcissus lurched away from him hard, and Rakovanite was left blinking in (annoyed) confusion at the place where the senshi had been sitting only a second prior. There was no sense in trying to hide his distaste as he glowered back at the other man, for if he wasn’t offended about the contact, he was certainly offended when it was taken from him.
“I am deeply disinterested in walking at present,” he stated in a clipped tone. “There is nothing out there worth leaving the shelter for.” Not that there was anything worth being in the shelter for, besides the company, and if Narcissus was going…
But Rakovanite hated the outside here. The dreariness, the feeling of being trapped, they were somehow worse while under the gray sky. His lips pursed, and he glanced away.
Narcissus sounded adamant. With a resigned sigh, Rakovanite slipped his hand into the senshi’s waiting palm and pulled himself to his feet. “Fine,” he grumbled mutedly. But being outside would be no substitute for the delicate, almost teasing little touches they’d been sharing a minute ago. He wondered if he could convince Narcissus instead to wander back into any of the rooms in the shelter… There were a few to choose from, at least.
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 12:13 pm
Narcissus didn’t wait for further invitation. Snatching up Rakovanite’s hand, he bid Diesel a quick farewell and promised that they wouldn’t be out long, and then whisked the two of them outside. With the sun forever obscured by clouds it was difficult to know exactly what time of day it was, but it was definitely day. The air was chilly and still, and the world was a dull, cloudy gray… It was a wonder any garden vegetation or trees grew at all, with how little the sun showed through the sky.
Despite that, Narcissus couldn’t help but shoot a smile upward as he guided Rakovanite down one of the village pathways. It was almost entirely quiet and still outside, with few people mulling about, and he doubted anyone would see reason to pay them a shred of mind.
It was a little chillier away from the fire, but they were better off this way, Narcissus thought. It was better for them to have space than for Diesel to be hanging out right next to them.
He turned a hesitant smile back to the now-obviously-grumpy agent. “You don’t have to look like that, you know,” Narcissus said with an almost teasing tone. “At least while we’re here, we can, uh- try things? Erm. Th-things we wouldn’t have tried while we were at home…” His magenta gaze held to the treeline as they approached it.
And, yeah, what he was thinking of doing definitely wouldn’t have crossed his mind if he was still in Destiny City. It even almost seemed like a pretty unwise idea, even as he tugged Rakovanite along after him. As far as he knew, nothing had really come out of the forest during the day, yet, but that didn’t mean that something never would… And even though it looked like it stretched on indefinitely, there was some force that made sure they were always within sight of the village.
“Um, I-I think it’ll be nice to have some time to ourselves?” Narcissus offered uncertainly. “It’ll be nice and quiet and dark, and I don’t think many others spend too much time in the forest, since it feels so… ominous. We won’t get lost if we wander, and it’s not like we have to stay long, or anything…”
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 12:22 pm
Outside was so bleak. Rakovanite’s fingers curled more tightly around Narcissus’. Inside wasn’t really that much better, he knew, but it at least offered that special type of private seclusion that Rakovanite was accustomed to. He was used to spending large amounts of time alone in his apartment, with neatly defined boundaries shielding him from anything unpleasant that may be outside the walls. The shelter here wasn’t ideal, in that there still wasn’t much to do, but it was better than outside.
He released an unhappy grumble of a sound as Narcissus guided them toward the forest.
Another locale that Rakovanite found that he especially loathed. The forest was like the bounds of a cage they couldn’t escape from, not like the walls of his home, that he could leave whenever he wished. The forest was as far as they could go, always trapped within sight of the village and unable to reach any beyond it. Why on earth did Narcissus want to bring them here?
“‘Try things?’” He repeated in confusion. As if there were things here he wanted to try. Since Rakovanite was only very frequently thrilled about new things, the prospect of being forced into them here wasn’t exactly promising. But it did seem bizarrely like Narcissus had a plan, and as they moved through the trees, Rakovanite quieted as he considered the implications of the words. ’Time to ourselves.’ ‘Quiet and dark.’ Not staying long..
Rakovanite resisted any further attempts to pull him deeper into the woods. His fingers squirmed from Narcissus’ grip to instead catch him by the wrist and pull him to a stop as well.
He held him there, staring at him, scrutinizing him through narrowed dark red eyes.
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 1:07 pm
Oh, he didn’t really know what he was doing, what he was thinking. This was stupid. Narcissus knew it was. It wasn’t safe, it wasn’t thoughtful. It was just rash. They were out from under Rakovanite’s little brother’s gaze, but being in a scary forest wasn’t exactly better. God, this was stupid. He was so stupid. Rakovanite even hated it in here- Why had he thought this would be a good idea?
Narcissus nearly cringed as Rakovanite repeated his ridiculous words back to him. “W-well, I mean, you know, mm…” It made sense to him, even if he admitted to the ridiculousness of it. He’d wanted to be alone with the agent, and this forest was where he could do just that, where no one would see them or bother them...
It just kinda sucked that there was so much else going on to get in the way of the more positive feelings he was hoping for. He wasn’t going for romance or anything, but if something could be easy and feel like relief, that would sure be great. Narcissus swallowed and tucked a flyaway strand behind his ear for what must have been the upteenth time today. ’Try things.’ “I-I wanted…” The agent pulled to a stop behind him, and even without fully turning to face him, Narcissus could feel the calculating stare that bored into him. This was ridiculous. Everything they were doing was ridiculous. It wasn’t even like they had anything to lose at this point.
He whipped around and lurched, using both hands to catch into the fabric of Rakovanite’s shirt at his collar and shove him backward, pushing him hard against a tree as Narcissus leaned to crash their lips together.
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 1:52 pm
There was no time to react between the first hint that Narcissus was going to stop and look at him, and the other man grabbing him by the shirt and essentially throwing him backward. Rakovanite’s eyes narrowed, his lips drew back in a snarl. His muscles tensed because even though he didn’t believe the senshi would do anything to him, his body was immediately ready for a fight the second he was accosted. It would probably never feel quite normal to be on the receiving end of the added boost to strength from powering up from someone as skinny and weak and Narcissus was.
But it had happened all the same.
Lips were on him in the next instant, pressing to his own, with bodies flush against one another and hands still crimped against his shirt. Rakovanite’s heart thundered. His eyes blinked wide as every other muscle in his body went rigid with confusion and uncertainty.
It occurred to him to ask, as he often did when trying to understand why someone behaved as they did: ’What are you doing?’ But in this regard it seemed fairly obvious. The ‘why’ was unclear, but searching for reasoning felt disruptive, and Rakovanite would be lying if he said he wanted to bother with that. He didn’t hate the proximity, didn’t hate the feverish way Narcissus pressed to him. Or the flurry of lips and fingers on him. He’d always enjoyed those things…
Rakovanite slipped an arm around Narcissus’ waist to hold him there. The other came up, bracing against the side of his neck while brushing a thumb over the senshi’s cheek. He caught Narcissus’ lips with his own, pinching with his teeth, tasting with his tongue, holding him close and tight and feeling the flutter of Narcissus’ heart where their chests were pressed together.
When they parted enough to breathe, Rakovanite’s expression was set much more at ease. His tone was softer when he spoke, not just quiet and stiff, as usual, but softer, without the crisp edges his speech usually carried. He hummed a thoughtful sound as Narcissus’ concerned about them ‘being on thor own’ ‘where no one would bother them’ flitted through his mind. “You brought me out here to keep Cervantite from seeing us kiss?” He asked in a murmur, lips hovering over the senshi’s as he spoke.
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 2:56 pm
Good. Okay.
The awkwardness of uncertainty and concern over any backlash Rakovanite might snap at him aside, this seemed like what Narcissus might have hoped for in a best case scenario? Maybe it was still a little sloppy and a little uncoordinated of an approach, but no one was offended. No one was expressing any discontent.
So his fingers uncurled from where they gripped at Rakovanite’s shirt to lay flatly over his chest. He smoothed his palms up over the agent’s shoulders, tracing out to his biceps and then back. Over his shoulders, down his chest, to his waist, to settle lightly over his hips while they kissed. The situation made them crave companionship and reassurance and acceptance- comforts above all else. It wasn’t just for Rakovanite’s mood. He wanted it too (and it wasn’t like he was blind to rippling muscles and a chiseled jaw).
He leaned his head into Rakovanite’s palm where it brushed his cheek, and his lashes lifted to watch the man across from him.
The sound that slipped from Narcissus’ throat wasn’t quite confirmation or denial one way or the other. It was high and rolling, finicky as the man who made it, as Narcissus tipped his head one way then the other in a sort of noncommittal shrug.
“I think it’s pretty awkward to have an underage kid in the house when the adults are talking. But uh.” His fingers tightened over Rakovanite’s hips, and he tugged to fit them together. “Not just kissing, no.” He slipped the tips of his fingers around the top hem of Rakovanite’s pants as he leaned in for another kiss.
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 3:53 pm
His gaze wandered fleetingly back in the direction of the village not far from them, where hazy grey light slipped through the trees. It seemed early enough still. There was time to be distracted. ...Incapacitated. They were alone for the time being. It wasn’t the privacy of his bedroom, but that had never bothered Nataniel on any of the countless times he’d gone out to the bar. His mind warred with the consequences of growing physically close to someone while sober.
He didn’t really appreciate all the various pitfalls that came with any type of interpersonal relationship. Adding a physical aspect always had a way of making things even more treacherous, and they were stuck here together. With no way to escape if something soured.
But he wanted it so bad. And there was nothing else to do to occupy himself here. If he wasn’t thinking about this, he was thinking of what sign he had to wait for before he decided that he’d endured long enough. The senshi didn’t seem like the oppressive or vindictive type. He’d admitted that his goal was only to help people, and it was something he strove to do.
And Narcissus’ body pressed against his was easily the more appealing train of thought. Easily.
For all the concern he’d had earlier about Narcissus maybe not really being interested, but just feeling some sense of obligation, he felt interested now. The slip of his fingers, the press of his hips… Rakovanite leaned to touch a kiss to the senshi’s shoulder.
He slid a hand around Narcissus' waist and tipped backward, gently encouraging him to bend so that they could lay on the forest floor together.
EchosSweet Fin for friskiness! Aftermath is here.
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