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 Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 8:11 pm
“I…think we need a game plan.” Kibirev said softly, squeezing him lightly. “I think…it should be in a few parts, and first off, you should start patrolling with me, and we should help you get your own butt wings. And after, you should talk to your friend and tell her everything you told me…and tell her you want a sleepover. Invite her to sleep at your house! Share your favorite books with her and just…reclaim what you lost!”
She fell quiet and nudged his cheek with her nose. “…If things still don’t get better…you could always come through the mirror. Live with my brother and me…I’ll introduce you to all of my friends…the ones I have now…they…they haven’t let me down yet. It…I’m still waiting for it, don’t get me wrong. Everyone leaves me in the end…I’m…I’m getting used to it but…there are two senshi that I brought in…and I’m kind of proud of myself for it…and…Acubens…she’s loud. And a little obnoxious but…I think her heart is really in the right place and now that we’ve started talking…she’s almost like a big sister to me. Don’t ever tell her I said that or she’ll start being all…dumb I bet.”
Closing her mouth, Kibirev gave a wary smile. “…That could be a last resort though…it would just ensure that you and I could be closer…on the same side and we could see one another in real life…”
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Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 8:18 pm
The idea of side swapping was something he hadn't really ever considered--and one that honestly made him feel even more anxious. It wasn't like a temporary retreat, or something you could just take back. It was giving up your whole life--and after everything that had happened...
He thought of his parents more than anything else. Already feeling like they lost one son. They weren't ever going to see Zack again, no matter what lies they construed to try and keep them in a state of calm. He didn't outright deny it or voice any of his concerns; instead, he just nodded. His brows remained knit the whole time but he offered a faint smile.
At least she was trying to help.
"...I don't know if I can talk to them about it," he admitted. "...I don't want them to tell me I'm being selfish or overreacting. I--It's not like I don't understand why they've been busy, I just..."
...He just missed them and he felt like if he asked for them, or told them how he felt, he'd be met with criticism and accusations. He felt selfish and greedy just for wanting some of their time, just for missing them. Confronting them about it? It seemed horrible. "...But...I'll try. At the very least...I want to be an Eternal Senshi. I want it so badly!" he admitted. "I want...I want to not feel weak when I go out! I don't want to have panic attacks! I want to be strong enough to help people!"
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Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2020 10:43 am
Kibirev nodded and closed her eyes, trying to think of some better way to help. Something that she could really do. “Talk to them after you become an eternal then? And you’re not being selfish…it’s awful and scary when people you trust and need just…just disappear. My best friend did that to me. We had been friends since elementary school…and she just stopped talking to me for no reason….and I never heard from her again. And I’m still not…completely okay…so…you need to fight for your friends, Adria! They won’t think you’re needy. I bet they’ll apologize and everything will be okay again.”
She squeezed him tightly. “They sound like they don’t realize what’s going on…and they should. I bet if you tell them, everything will change. And for the better!”
Of course…if that happened…he would no longer need her.
The thought made her own mood plummet and Kibirev swallowed hard. “…Don’t…forget about me though…please.”
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Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2020 11:03 am
Adria paused and glanced at her. He hesitated, leaning into the hug. "...Why would I forget about you?" he asked, as if genuinely confused by the prospect. "...I would never throw away a friend. You've...you've only ever been kind to me. And you never forgot about me. You just...we were walking different paths. And...also my brother threatened me," he confessed. "--But I always thought about you. I...I thought about you every time I looked at that book...any time I thought about it..."
He realized, almost guiltily, how his words might have been making her feel. "I'm--I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I--I'd feel the same way if I thought you had moved on without me or didn't want to be friends. I--The truth is, you're the only person I know who has read those books, and...and I've never been able to talk about them with anyone else. That--that alone would be a good reason to stay friends with you. But you've been so nice and supportive and thoughtful--from the first time I met you, until now. I...I don't want to lose you..."
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Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 9:30 am
Kibirev relaxed with his words and nodded, managing a smile. “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to sound so whiny…” This was about him, not her own stupid fears and doubts. “I thought about you a lot too. I kept going out and finding things that I thought would make good gifts for you…when I see you next I’ll bring them all. There’s a lot.”
She gave a little, shaky laugh and shrugged. “I won’t move on without you…and I’m glad that you won’t move on without me…but still…I want you to be happy. That’s the best thing I can think of! So you need to reach out to your friends, Adria! They must love you just as much, if not more than I do! They wouldn’t want you to hurt.”
The senshi closed her eyes, still resting against his shoulder. “You won’t lose me, and I’m happy to talk about the books whenever you want to. They’re the best. Honestly, they make me wish I could write too…I…”
She flushed. “…I’ve thought about writing fanfiction for them. Just because I want more of the story.”
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Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 9:53 am
Adria wore a soft smile when she talked about gifts and he couldn't help but think of all the times he'd thought of her and had to force his thoughts elsewhere at the threat of his brother's scolding. He didn't have to think for too long about it--when she started talking about writing, about fanfiction, he had to hide how flustered he got at the thought. He could still feel the nagging of the emotions he was trying to hide from, but something about how she said it--about how enthusiastic she always seemed to be--made him smile.
He felt a little stronger, a little further from his melancholy. "Why don't you write fanfiction? If you do...I hope you would let me read it. I...I think that's so neat. Like. I don't know--what an honor? Like...someone made these characters and...and for someone to like them so much they want to contribute--to give them more...I..."
Adria looked a little embarrassed and now even managed a small laugh. "...That's so cool. But...you know, anyone can write. You just have to figure out what type of story you want to tell and how you want to tell it. I write," he suggested. "...Um. I have a couple of pseudonyms. I...I don't know. Like, I'm afraid...that one bad story will ruin my reputation so I write...ah..."
He rubbed the back of his neck. "--Anyway, anyone can write. I bet you could write something beautiful."
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Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 11:57 am
“If I ever actually write it, of course you can read it! I…I mean, so long as you wouldn’t judge me too harshly for it! And maybe…” Kibirev looked embarrassed, keeping her eyes closed so that she couldn’t see his reaction, just in case it was bad.
“…Maybe we could write some together?”
It sounded so silly when she said it out loud…especially when he was talking about being a writer…and using pseudonyms…that sounded so fancy.
“One day, I’d love to read something of yours too, okay? And maybe you can sign it for me? That way when you become famous…I can say that you were my friend first!” She laughed softly and continued resting against him, feeling almost happy. “…You sound like you’re starting to feel a little better. I’m glad.”
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Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 12:24 pm
Adria glanced over at her and softened again. "...I am starting to feel a little better. I...I needed this. Thank you, Kibi."
He felt bad, then--that it only took ten minutes of conversation for his whole mood to lift. Or maybe it was just that he'd been able to have a good cry and look at this from a clear perspective. Either way, he'd felt bad for so long--it was nice to feel better. He slumped against her, guard down, and closed his eyes.
“And...you should know...I would never judge you. Especially not for something you put your heart into--or something you were proud of. I'd--I think I'd have fun writing with you."
He was too embarrassed to tell her that she did have something he'd signed--and on top of that, no matter how secretive he was as an author, he knew he couldn't let her know who he was in his civilian life. Pseudonym or not. "If I...get something in print...yeah, I'll sign it," promised, still seeming a bit flustered. "So...definitely, I support your creative endeavors. If you write something, please. It...it would mean a lot to me if you'd let me read it. I've...I've never talked to anyone about my writing, so...I--it's really neat! I'd love to support you if it's something you're interested in!"
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Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 3:19 pm
She grinned and nodded eagerly. “All right! That…That kind of makes me a little excited to try to write!” It was a moment before she spoke again, and finally Kibirev let out a small sigh, twisting her head to kiss his cheek.
“I’m glad you won’t judge me. And I’ll do my best to write something good. You’ll be so proud!” Kibirev wanted him to be proud. She realized that with a jolt and sighed softly, nuzzling just a little bit closer. “…I’m really glad that we’re friends. You’re one of the nicest people I think I’ve ever met. When should we meet up again? I can see your planet or whatever…I can go to space with you!”
That sounded far too exciting for words.
“I can bring us some paper and pens and maybe we could figure something out up there…set up a writing area for ourselves…”
She had her own area too…perhaps…she could get it looking like something. Anything.
And that could be another sanctuary for the both of them.
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Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 3:35 pm
Adria considered the possibilities for a moment, and a faint smile lingered on his face. His eyelashes were still a little wet, even though he tried to hide it, but the smile was enough. "...I think I'd like that. You're...you're definitely one of the nicest people I've met too, so I think...it would be smart to be around you. Do you want to...um..."
He could barely remember what today was so he suggested, "Do you want to go out on Friday? I can bring some drinks and snacks and you can get some subs. I'll bring everything for a picnic, and some writing things, and--and you can bring some writing things too and...we can see what happens?"
He hoped he didn't sound too eager but it was nice to have a plan--a date in mind to go out and do something with someone. To spend time with a friend.
...To get out of this rut.
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Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 7:48 pm
Kibirev seemed pleased and nodded, eagerly planning where she would get the subs from…and cupcakes. She could bake cupcakes for the both of them! Something fun and something that would put more of a smile on Adria’s face.
His words made her pause but she once again nodded. “Friday sounds perfect! I…I’m really excited and I hope it gets here soon…I can’t wait to…um. See what happens!”
The senshi really wasn’t sure what that meant but she stood up and held her hands out to help her friend up. “We can meet here…maybe at four or so? That way we can have a lot of time to hang out and we won’t have to worry about things going on for too long or anything. Plus, we won’t have to worry about being too full from eating dinner?”
It sounded like a good idea to her. The whole thing sounded like a good idea.
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Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 8:12 pm
Adria smiled again, soft and tired but with considerably less gloom than when she had arrived. "Four is so early," he said, accepting her help as he pulled himself up. "I don't think I've ever really been out before the sun went down."
She had a good point and he wasn't going to protest it; he smiled again. "But, I'll be here. We'll have to go fast, I don't want to accidentally wind up on the news or something, or have someone uninvited show up. But I'm--I'm looking forward to it. It sounds like a lot of fun."
He brushed himself off as he rose, getting the wrinkles and dust and gravel off of his uniform. "...I'm really excited. I'll see you then, so um. Be safe until then. And--and enjoy the book. I...I really hope you like it..."
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Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 8:29 pm
“There’s no way that I couldn’t enjoy it!” Kibirev was all but glowing and nodded with an excitement that was long suppressed. “See you Friday, Adria. It’ll be amazing. I promise! You be safe too, and talk to your friends. It’ll help, I’m sure that it will!”
Leaning forward, she kissed his cheek once again and then gave a sheepish giggle, taking a leap off of the building and landing atop a neighboring one, slipping through the mirror that was hidden behind one of the air conditioning units.
It was time to read and maybe even do a little bit of writing.
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