Welcome to Gaia! ::

Honestly?” With her two books picked out she walked over to Winter’s side so they could continue talking while walking through the store. “A little bit of both I guess.”

“On the one hand, I feel inexplicably drawn to it. Even before the accident,” if it could be called that, “but more so now especially since I don’t have easy access to it. When I feel agitated or worried it helps calm me down.” Not to mention the dreams she has been having since their spar.

Submerged far beneath the currents where neither temperature nor pressure seemed to affect her. It’s dark, and though unseen, Lavendulan is acutely aware she’s not alone. There is a presence, oppressive at times but otherwise watchful and curious. She could feel the waters shift as it swims past her and yet, rather than flee, she too feels the desire to reach out to touch it as it passes only to have her hand pass through its wake which was strange because it was no small creature. Only once did their eyes meet albeit briefly as it’s reveal startled Lavendulan awake.

“On the other hand,” she continued. “I’m scared to face it alone because, going back there, which means I have to both face and accept what happened. I’m not quite ready for that right now, but give me time while I adjust to my…” Marissa paused and gave him a look that said ‘you know’ youma tendencies.

It had always been awake inside her but he was the reason that it stirred. Now she was making odd sounds; purring noises when happy or content, growling or snarling when agitated or angry. But the oddest one she had picked up so far was rubbing her cheek against someone if she was feeling incredibly pleased or apologetic for something she had done.

Marissa blinked several times as she considered his offer carefully. There was a time and place in her life where she would have politely declined the offer but the youma side practically begged her to say yes.

Freedom to be as we are. It was a pleasant thought that actually appealed to her greatly. And so, with an almost shy smile she nodded her head. “I’d enjoy accompanying you.” There it was again, that urge to rub her face against the side of his paw. But they were in glamoured form now and that would just look… weird… if she just up and took his hand and started behaving like a cat.

However, there was a soft, nearly imperceptible rumbling sound as she held the books close against her chest. “I can help with the expenses.” There were a few trinkets in one of her drawers that she picked up on her last diving session. He could pawn them off as she had no real need for them and add it to the savings. Otherwise, she could also sell some of her rock carving designs on something like Etsy. They were starting to take up too much of her deskspace anyway.

“That sounds like a good plan to me.” Even if it was raining, she would rather find an undercover area or a table with an open umbrella than sit inside. Plus, it offered them space to talk more freely without the worry of others overhearing their conversation.

In the meantime, Marissa took her books over to the register and paid for her two. Although, in hindsight, she should have grabbed one for baking but she knew that certain box mixes or chocolate chip bags had recipes on them so there was no urgent need to go back and grab one.

When they got back outside, Marissa fell into step beside Winter, her elbow nearly brushing against his as they walked side by side. Her head tilted back and she couldn’t help but marvel at the beauty of the changing trees. Their gradient color went from the mostly luscious green that transitioned into a vibrant yellow and in some cases a bright red. “Fall is such a beautiful month,” she sighed happily then turned her attention back onto him.

Eyes the color of deep forest that held within them a mystery of their own; just as captivating as the golden ones she was used to. It was odd seeing him in a glamourd form that was so different from his natural appearance, not in a bad way, just different. Green instead of soft yellow, black in place of a velvety purple; they bore no resemblance really. Where as she looked relatively similar with the exception of her skin tone being her natural tan from before the incident, and hair being a bit lighter yet curly at the ends.

“I don’t really know many of the restaurants in this area so please lead the way.” Otherwise she was likely to just keep walking until some tantalizing smell beckoned her inside to come find a place to sit.

“That sounds delicious,” she replied with a very pleased grin then got in line behind a young couple and their son. Once they received their order and left, she stepped forward and greeted the cashier with a friendly “Hello.”

“Hi there! What can I get for ya miss?” They asked with a pen and paper in hand.

Marissa glanced at the menu. “Two fish tacos please.”

“What kinda fish will ya be having?” The cashier looked up with a patient smile.

“Cod please.” There were other options such as Salmon or Halibut but those were a bit more expensive. However, she did almost went for shrimp instead.

“Just the tacos or do you want a combo? It comes with seasoned fries and a drink.”

“No thank you, just the tacos.” No point in spending money on something she already had as that was one thing she made sure to bring along; a water bottle.

“Alright,” They quickly jotted down the order then looked over at Winter. “And you sir? What can I get you?”

Marissa took a seat beside him and leaned her back against the tree. She looked up, watching as the little sparrows hopped from one branch to the next chirping away as they busied themselves.

There was an almost sad tone in his voice that resonated with her for similar if not the same reasons. While it didn’t bring her any joy, she did find comfort knowing that they longed for similar things.

Between the changing leaves she watched as clouds slowly moved across the sky. Amusing herself by spotting animal shapes, she watched as a billowy turtle morphed into something akin to a giraffe that stretched into something not unlike a snake before merging with the clouds around it into one large mass of an indecipherable shape.

She hummed thoughtfully and smiled before turning her attention back to their lunch and unwrapped her first taco as a light breeze brushed passed, dancing with a few strands of her hair that had not been tucked behind her ear.

“Perhaps you simply haven’t discovered enough of the rift to know where to find the sounds you’re looking for.” Granted, with an eight year tenure he’s probably explored more than anyone else save for the Sovereigns perhaps. But having never been there herself, Marissa had no idea how vast the Rift really was let alone what dangers wait inside it. “Maybe we just need to keep looking?” She mused before taking her first bite.

To anyone that was looking at her, it would have been difficult to miss the way her eyes narrowed when he mentioned the words ‘novel pet’. Where she had been called ‘fish bait’ on several occasions in the cafeteria, Marissa hadn’t really stopped to consider how he had been treated. As a former general with a tenure exceeding anyone she had met so far, and with a loyalty to the cause that seemed to go unmatched, she would have assumed he would have been dealt more respect and dignity than to be viewed as a pet.

After she finished off the last bite of her first taco, Marissa set the other one on top of the bag and shifted where she sat. Rather than criss-cross as she had been, she drew her knees up, hugging them to her chest and rested her chin on top of her arms. “Anywhere?”

She thought for a moment as she watched people walk casually down the street, one arm slung across another's’ shoulder as they jested about something she couldn’t hear, while others walked hand in hand unless they happened to be on the phone. “Someplace tropical far away from the city, where it’s warm throughout most the year. Set back from the coast but with easy access to the beach. ” Marissa closed her eyes and drew in a slow yet deep breath, imagining the smell of ionized air after a thunderstorm or the salty-sweet air brought in by the rising tide.

“Unfortunately places like that can only be found in pictures and dreams.” Her eyes opened and in them was a small tinge of sadness because in her heart the answer to his question was ‘anywhere but where I live now.

“Realistically though.” She leaned her head to the side and looked over at Winter. “I just want a place I can call home again. Not a dorm room where I have to share a bathroom with forty other people and don’t even have access to a kitchen to make my own food.” Yes, they had rotating options in the cafeteria while others were there every day, but certain options were missing. Unlike like now, they had the option of a taco truck, but could have just as easily gone to the pier and found a locally owned ma and pa fish and chips restaurant or even an Ivers; similar places but all with their own distinctly different tastes. Then again, perhaps she was just being too picky.

"What about you?" She hummed. "If you could run away and live anywhere you wanted. Where would it be?"

“It’s ok,” she laughed lightly then leaned sideways, bumping her elbow against his side just as Winter was about to take a bite of his last taco. With this being one of the few times she didn’t have to worry about her horns getting in the way she took the opportunity to rest her head against his shoulder.

Marissa absently rubbed the shoulder that had been injured. Most of the scales had already grown back but the area was still a bit tender if not mildly bruised beneath them.“I’ve been feeling kind of antsy as of late,” she admitted.

“Thinking about our spar and how I wish I would have made it to the tournament earlier this year if only to watch how others fought.” She was too new and too timid at the time to participate but it would have at least given her ideas on how to maybe defend herself better. “Then maybe I would have an idea on how to change my tactics before challenging you to a rematch.” With her index finger she poked him in the ribs and though she kind of really wanted to see his expression she just simply smiled instead.

She heard the stammer in his voice and watched as he fiddled with the taco wrapper; neither being the reaction she had been expecting but it was kind of cute nonetheless. But when he turned and touched her face in an action reminiscent of when her youma side had tried to kill him, Marissa felt her mind go completely blank.

Marissa blinked several times and would have pulled away, recoiled back into herself, had she not of froze in place instead. It wasn’t out of fear she felt unable to move, but rather surprise by Winters response and for a moment there she forgot how to breathe. Her heartbeat wildly against her chest in an almost painful way as a heat rose from under her scarf and swept across her face staining the tips of her ears a bright red hue.

“I-” Marissa slowly released the breath she had been holding but not another word followed as she just stared at him blankly.

Rather than fishing for ideas to talk about, she had thought that by bringing up their spar Winter would feel more comfortable talking with her. Perhaps laugh mockingly at her foolish desire to fight him again so soon, point out her flaws in technique, or lack thereof, and tell her to work on them before challenging him again. Never could she have prepared herself for the reaction she got instead.

The water shifted around her, encouraging if not pushing like the rising tide to just go with the flow. To close her eyes and lean into his hand as she wanted to back in the bookstore and let the currents sweep her away; have fun and don’t look back.

Perhaps if they were alone somewhere in the Dark Kingdom, away from the barracks where others could hear, then maybe she would have given into her youma tendencies to push and play just to see how far she could take it before one of them conceded. But she was not that girl, not right now anyway.

Right now she was a naive young woman who was a hot mess of emotions; embarrassed, shy, ashamed… apologetic. None of it flattering or cute in any way but the beast inside her seemed wildly amused at her expense.

Her unblinking gaze locked with his, slowly drifting down to his lips then snapped back up once again in an almost self reprimanding kind of way. When words simply would not come Marissa closed her eyes, drew in a slow calming breath. After a second, or two, she reached up, curled her fingers around his hand and lowered it from the side of her face so the heel of his palm was pressed against her heart and fingers brushed the side of her neck so he could feel just how wildly her heart was beating.

“I’m sorry, I just--, I thought--” She squeezed her eyes and shook her head. “I didn’t-” Marissa let go of his hand and allowed hers to fall back into her lap where she held onto a fistful of her scarf.

God damn him for causing her youma side to stir because now it was as if she didn’t know who she was anymore. No quick comment or snappy remark just a bumbling fool without a single coherent thought that may as well dig a hole in the ground and roll right in.