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 Posted: Thu May 31, 2018 5:23 pm
“Yeah. I mean…he just kept pushing my buttons and demanding to see you and I just…I really just wanted to scare him off, but there were a few moments where…I don’t know.”
Where he had almost lost control and would have stabbed Zac in the chest without a backwards glance. But…that wasn’t what he wanted Evan to know.
Quietly, Tobias nodded. “I’m serious, Evan. I’m…I’m not sure how to purify out, but if that’s what it takes, so be it. Zac told me to call if…if I wanted help…”
He let the hand on Evan’s cheek fall and hesitated before wrapping his pinky around Evan’s, giving the tiniest of smiles. “Can…can we go home, Ev…?” Tobias swallowed and looked away, suddenly feeling like a monster. He had caused this panic attack…he had caused Evan’s mood to slip from bad to worse and…
And now this was all his fault.
“Let’s go home and talk all of this through…or I could call Zac, if you don’t want to think about this anymore, we don’t have to…I’m…I’m still…me, Evan. I still love you with every cell in my body. And…I’m sorry.”
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2018 5:24 pm
Evan nodded numbly but didn’t have the mental fortitude to clarify what that actually meant for a moment longer. “We can go back to your place,” he finally said. He didn’t have the energy to go farther, and he wasn’t ready to go see Cambria and Zac yet. His chest was seizing uncomfortably and his vision was swimming but everything seemed to be fading.
His body was too tired to fight. His mind was ready to shut off. He didn’t feel much right now; his body was a shell, his emotions were muted and his thoughts felt like someone else talking into his ear.
“I’ll text him when I get home. And Cambria. But then I think I’d like to go to sleep for a little while. Just a nap.”
He couldn’t think clearly right now anyway but he wasn’t ready to give up on anything. On anyone.
“But we can talk more, at home. After that. You can call Zac if you want, while I nap. Or wait for me to wake up and I’ll tell you everything I know.”
His finger curled around Tobias’ and he began to slowly walk back to the house. Before he fell completely silent, he mumbled, “Everything will be okay.”
Maybe he said it for Tobias. Maybe he said it for himself.
He just hoped it was true.
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