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 Posted: Sat May 12, 2018 2:11 pm
For a moment, Cavansite didn’t know what to say, or what to do and her mouth fell open, face looking like a fish as she gaped at the knight in utter confusion.
He was crazy. That was the only explanation.
Asking knights for advice was stupid.
“Well, okay then. Thanks for your time, Ganymede knight. I hope your…killing spree goes well. I won’t bug you again, don’t you worry.”
Reaching up, she patted at her own hair, making sure that he hadn’t messed it up with his strange actions.
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Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 4:52 pm
"That was to try and knock some sense into you and to scold you for what you are doing?" He said, returning his hand to his side as he watched her.
"You're risking your life out here with only half your heart and no direction. That means if you die, you died for a cause you weren't even sure about. Isn't that sad to you? Isn't that wrong? Your friend who left left for their own reasons. If they match your own, then you should think on that, but that might also mean it might not be the right reason for you. Only you can figure out what you want to fight for and put your life on the line for."
He gestured at her uniform. "What point is there to take a side, take a stance, when you don't even believe in it? No one can say what's right and wrong. We're all fighting this war just on that and even on those sides, each person have their own views on how to go about it."
Taking a breath, he looked around before kneeling down and slowly sitting on the ground. He patted the ground for her to take a sit.
"If you want to start figuring out things as they are now, maybe backtrack to what you were fighting for to begin with. Something must have changed for you. So - why did you join the Negaverse?"
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Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 5:03 pm
Cavansite frowned slightly and watched the knight for a long moment before finally giving a heavy sigh and moving to sit down on the ground next to him. “I do hope you know that I’m far too old to just sit on the ground like this.” The words were a halfhearted grumble, but she had to admit that he was…well. Maybe not right but at the very least he was on the right track. Maybe.
“Why did I join? I didn’t…really have much of a choice, I suppose. I went to a bar one night about three years ago and wound up meeting with Painite. And I supposed she took a fancy to me and…”
She gestured to herself and shrugged. “It was this or death, really. But…I’m not unhappy that I joined. I’ve learned a lot since then. I’ve grown a lot too, branching out into different hobbies and whatnot but…it wasn’t as though I was given recruitment propaganda or anything. Though, I’m not sure what I would have thought if I had been given such things, so…”
Shrugging, Cavansite looked at him. “…Isn’t that pretty much how everyone is recruited? A spur of the moment decision? I know I have one lieutenant that I worked on before bringing him in, he was the one I spent the most time on, and I suppose…he’s the one that impresses me the most so…I don’t know. None of this is making sense, I guess. This is stupid.”
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Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 5:48 pm
He looked down a moment, remembering. "General Painite, huh?" Memories. The only memories he had since his purification, were of people he couldn't see regularly anymore without putting them at risk, and yet he wondered if they would be on his side too despite the uniform he wore. He missed the meetings. But the Negaverse was different now, and he had no place pretending he knew it as much as he did. It changed and he wasn't there to change in the same way with it.
He looked back up and shook his head. "It's not stupid."
"You did not get a fair chance when you were made an officer. We used to ask back when I started. Charonite and Nealite didn't like forcing people to our cause. It only made it worse for those who were getting used to the life. I was asked, and I picked that life. Charonite had offered the power to me. So I suppose that you did not take the traditional track. I hope that means the Negaverse isn't becoming too desperate to make that the norm."
"So you never got to think about what you were fighting for from the start. What do you think about the war from what you grew up and learned? What do you think of all the sides? Your enemies and your side?"
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Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 6:29 pm
Cavansite nodded. “Yeah. She’s still my General…and my friend, honestly. Most of the time. She has her moments but…I know that she has my back more often than she doesn’t.” The general hesitated, almost wanting to just tell this knight that they were engaged. For some reason she felt that she could trust him, and it was such a strange feeling. He was…different but…
It seemed as though he cared.
Sort of.
“I’m not sure who Charonite or Nealite are, so I do apologize. But…”
She sighed, thinking back to her corruption into the Negaverse and frowning slightly. “You know, now that I’m really thinking about it…I was more than a little tipsy that night, I don’t think she actually asked me anything. She just…did it. Not that I was upset or anything. The power was…intoxicating. I enjoyed it. And the freedom that it brought, the sense of…I don’t know. The sense of being so much better than everyone because I had power that they could never hope to attain.”
Closing her eyes, Cavansite shrugged. “I’m not sure it’s a Negaverse wide thing, it’s more of a Painite thing, honestly. She just takes what she wants and woe to you if you don’t like what she takes.”
His last questions were more difficult, and she found herself growing quiet as she mulled them over. “I don’t really know. I do know that…perhaps I am in the wrong. I don’t…do this to better the Negaverse. I’m in it for me, I realize. I was in it for me since the start, I think. I wanted more power. I wanted to crush the people that I didn’t like. Cosmos knights are a special breed of thorns in my side, and honestly…I feel that the world would be better off without them and yet…”
Finally she opened her eyes and let out a long suffering sigh. “…There’s a few that I wish I could see again. And one I wish I could apologize too but…well. She doesn’t exist anymore.”
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Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 6:41 pm
He stared at her and smiled sadly, his eyes prickling with tears as she admitted she didn't know who they were. "Oh........right. No, it's - a lot of people don't know now I guess. They were before Metallia came....before Beryl. They helped start it all here. They were....they were very good leaders. When they spoke, you felt like you really wanted to make the Negaverse great and do whatever you could to make yourself better just to help everyone else be stronger. Now they are .." He paused, fingers curling into fists as they rested on his legs as he tried not to feel that throbbing pain at their memory. "... just..encased in crystal back in headquarters. Who knows what they would think of the Negaerse now...."
What they would think of him. Charonite brought him into this life. Nealite helped make him stronger. Wouldn't they be disappointed?
But why did he have to follow orders to the entity that felt Charonite and Nealtie were traitors? When it did that to them?
He shook his head, looking back up.
" Just because you have your own goals doesn't mean you're a bad person. A lot of reasons to fight are selifsh and personal. To be stronger. To be powerful. To be praised. To protect those dear to you. To destroy those you hate. Everyone has those."
"You mentioned someone who became a knight. You mentioned someone who was a Cosmos knight you wanted to meet again. A few people you want to see again. You seem to have a few people you know or knew on the other side, right?" He asked, his eyes still wet from the previous topic.
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Posted: Mon May 14, 2018 10:00 am
She wasn’t sure what he was really talking about, or who for that matter. Who was Beryl? What was he talking about, people being encased in crystal?
Cavansite watched him for a long moment and placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. “You miss the way things were, hm? I’m afraid I don’t know any of the names you’ve mentioned save for Metallia, and I wish that I could feel the same that you do but…I really think things have changed…none of those people are still around at all so…”
Nodding slowly, Cavansite let her hand drop and sat back, thinking his words over once more. He had a lot of deep things to say, that much was certain but…
“I mean. I think I have people who want me to join them on your side. But sometimes I honestly wonder if they want me to join them, or they just want me out of the seat of power that I have. Though, if I’m being honest, I just hope that means they’re afraid of me, which was always one of my little side goals so…I suppose it means I’ve been a success.”
The thought made her go quiet and Cavansite let out an almost annoyed little laugh. “…But now that I’ve reached my goal, I suppose maybe I’ve just hit a plateau. Maybe that’s all this…funk is. A stupid plateau and I just need to overcome it.”
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Posted: Mon May 14, 2018 10:30 am
He syared at her for a while. "Charonite and Nealite started the Negaverse." He said."They brought Beryl to power who then brought Metallia. They were here from the start when things were smaller."
"I... Guess there is no point mentioning it now."
He refocused on the officer's current issue.
"It won't matter who liked you if you crossed over. You loose memories when you purify. Either your human ones or the ones you had as an officer of the Negaverse. Somewhere you lose half of yourself. You could even forget those people that convinced you to cross over."
"You have to do it for yourself and not them." He smiled st her. "And you can still be feared on either side."
"Maybe you ran out of goals. Is there anything more you want?
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Posted: Mon May 14, 2018 4:33 pm
“I…I knew about the memory thing. And doing it for myself…I suppose that’s a really good way to look at things. I’d have to think if there were any more goals that I want…because right now the gut answer is no…but that just sounds so…final. I’m all out of goals…so why do I even exist.”
Cavansite reached up and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I’ll figure things out someday, I’m sure. But right now I just…suddenly have a lot on my mind, I guess.”
There was some part of her that wanted to ask for help right then and there. That maybe she could get out tonight but…there was so many other things to consider. Gently would be upset if she did this without her…and she still wasn’t sure what Gently would do when she said that she really honestly was thinking of purifying…hell, even mentioning it had gotten her starseed ripped out…and that wasn’t something she was eager to have happen again.
“…Could we meet up again sometime? I mean, if you would want to, you’re under no obligation to but…you know a lot. And you’re quite easy to talk to…if it ever comes to me changing sides…and you see me, I do hope you’ll reach out…even if I don’t remember you.”
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Posted: Mon May 14, 2018 4:43 pm
"I can't make that promise of reaching out to you if you purify. People don't recognize people once they purify. Not unless you know me and introduce yourself as the person I'm meeting here and now. It's a protection just like how you can walk to someone you know in real life and they wouldn't recognize you in that uniform. But...if you retain the memories of a Negaverse agent, then I will come find you and take you on my own team. Any officer from the Negaverse."
He reached out and offered his hand. "We can meet here again. Next Thursday night. Same time. Okay?"
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Posted: Mon May 14, 2018 4:52 pm
Cavansite felt a little pang of confusion. She had recognized Tanais for who she had been…hadn’t she? Would she change so much that this Knight would no longer know her…?
“All right. That sounds good to me, thank you.” She took the hand and held it firmly. “I’ll be here. Next Thursday sounds perfect. I’m glad that we got to meet.”
It didn’t seem as though there was anything more to say, and with a small smile Cavansite pulled her hand away and stood, taking a step away. She would show up…but she didn’t know if he really would or not. He was a strange type of person and honestly she wasn’t quite sure just how she felt about him but…that was a thought for another day.
Thursday, maybe.
With that though, the General teleported away, wanting to just curl up at home and maybe indulge in a bubble bath.
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