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Baneful rolled 2 4-sided dice:
4, 4
Total: 8 (2-8)
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 Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 3:21 pm
"Because you can look." Lawrence said, and with a snarl of effort drove every single claw into the other man and used his charge.
Butch latched onto Melvin's fear with aplomb and there was an absolute flood of that cold, cold hollow sensation which seemed to try and pull the thoughts into a dark black hole. The flat icy hunger that was the innermost core of Lawrence, all sharp edges and want. Tangled up in all of it was a very specific sort of want and focus which zeroed in on Melvin.
It felt alien and almost unrecognisable, sapping away - for just a moment - everything that was Melvin's emotions, trying to hold them for Lawrence before as always he lost all meaning and they became nothing but garbage data in his thoughts.
"I still care about you can't you /see/."
And the truly tragic thing of all of it was that he thought that the exploitative, destructive cluster of knife sharp wants he'd shown Melvin would mean that to the other man, assuming anyone could understand the alien and fractured landscape of his mind that his fear gave a snapshot of.
3 turns 0.75% drain.
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 3:43 pm
He didn't move, tense as the claws dug deep into him and flooded him with a cold depth like a sinkhole in an ocean where the temperature drastically dropped and you stared down into a maw with no idea of how deep it went and with just as little understanding of what could be down there.
But as usual, he stared in and wanted to see something there, catch a glimpse of something recognizable, and somehow adjust to that world as long as he kept acclimating himself to those waters.
He gasped, but it soon started to die out and his hands shook as he set then on Lawr's sides.
"I thought you were done.......you came into the bar happy with him and then came in - I thought you were just drunk. But that it was something you both must have joked about - like it was over. It was over so that there was no point in you caring anymore."
"I want.......more."
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Baneful rolled 2 12-sided dice:
5, 9
Total: 14 (2-24)
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 3:45 pm
"No." Lawrence snarled, and in his thoughts Butch snarled too, hungry and fixated. Once he latched on he didn't want to let go, didn't want to give up the taste of something warm and vibrant, something alive.
And for everything he took he gave something of himself, what passed for his emotions a smothering oppressive indifference, bleeding over it sapped everything and he could only hold onto Melvin, reaching for the pain, for the hurt he knew had to be there, to try and taste it, to know he regretted what he'd done.
But everything was incomprehensible and only his pulse quickened and his level of brutality.
"No, it was drinks. It was just /that/."
HP: 31
DMG:8
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 4:16 pm
Everything felt slower, crawling in his system to a frigid stop, and what had been anguish and twisting torment, the heartache of loosing someone, the concern that you were somehow the one guilty for the end, the tender yet hungry want of affection, and the desperation to somehow make or say something that would change things. The hope that things would change and yet the frustration in seeing none of it happen in all this time. The bitterness and hatred that Lawr hadn't done anything to change the situation in all this time, and yet wanting to hold him just to assure himself that the words were true.
All of this, dissolved into the cold, dark maw he floated in, and he sank slowly. It was like being weightless, falling slowly down into the darkness, and not being able to see and thus not being able to react. To not feel anything around you, and yet panicking. Not fully at ease, but not nervous about the outcome.
Everything dissolved and yet he knew the memory of it, knew the feel of it, and yet couldn't summon back those feelings - like a thought you had right after you woke up but then felt frustrated you couldn't remember what it was or why it was so important to begin with.
"Just that." He managed, looking up at him. So it was - just that.
"I'm sorry." And yet, he didn't exactly feel upset or guilty about it. It just felt like it was better to say it and take what Lawr said so that they didn't have to fight anymore. To make things easier.
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Baneful rolled 2 12-sided dice:
6, 12
Total: 18 (2-24)
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 4:24 pm
Melvin's pain and heartache, all his wants, desires and frustrations were seized upon but not understood, like retrieving a codex to the meaning of life but one written in nothing but encrypted letters in another language. It felt like it was just within reach, the meaning at the very edge of his fingertips, sure he could get it if he only kept going.
"You should be." he said, and the want twisted into something sharper still, something logical and vicious, the idea that Melvin should be sorry for doubting him, for making him consider himself inferior sexually, humiliation to Lawr translated not into emotion but a vicious and brutal bloodlust, an egotistical reaction to an ego denting action.
"You should be sorry." he said, needing more, needing more of Melvin, to understand.
"You did this to me."
HP: 43
DMG 12
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 4:37 pm
All of him just felt - present. He couldn't even quiet explain in. A short? That the flow of himself, of what he had been feeling, everything he had been feeling, had stopped being pumped through him and yet he couldn't sense a sense of blockage. Just that he knew he should be feeling something. A acknowledgement that something was wrong, but not sure how it had even ended or where to even start it again. What he had felt, what had been there moments ago, either fizzled out, or stopped somewhere inside and stopped sending a message of how he should feel about this. About Lawr. About all of this.
So he was left standing here with a dizzying sense that something was wrong, and wasn't sure if he should be upset or panicking over it. Instead, he looked at Lawr, lost as he snarled at him, was angry for what had happened.
So he reached to hold the claws.
He made Lawr angry.
He made Lawr into something.
"At least you are here. At least I have something." He said, and his fingers gripped the talons, not afraid of how close they were to his shield. What they were doing to his shield. Lawr had spent all his time with Rodney. At least here, whatever he was, was here.
"At least you are here with me. We could have more of this if you let me." Lawr kept forgetting he was like this. Kept going back home to his family and Rodney. He was talons and claws. He knew that.
Melvin could have those.
"Give me that."
HP: 20
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Baneful rolled 2 12-sided dice:
9, 9
Total: 18 (2-24)
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 4:40 pm
So, close, so so close and yet always tantalisingly out of his reach. He knew there was something, able to taste the most fleeting edge of Melvin's feelings but not enough to be satisfied.
It was never enough.
And yet he knew that this put strain on Butch, that there was only so long he could sustain it and the window was closing, feeling the chaos and excitement fade away, lapsing back into the normal emotions, the flat coolness of his thoughts resuming. He was frustrated but it didn't matter and his shield was better than it had been in some time.
And yet he still felt like if only he'd been able to push a little further and a little longer, he might have been able to find what he was looking for.
He withdrew the claws.
"You know how I feel about fighting." he said.
HP: 53
DMG 12
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 4:53 pm
And like a switch, the machinery of his heart powered back on, the gears turning to deliver fresh waves of twisting sensation and flooding a cocktail into his sluggish veins that had him flushed yet jarred, taking a deep gasping breath as everything felt raw and tender inside.
Stepping back, he felt sick and sank down to take deep breathes. Lawr's voice sounded distant yet sharp to his senses as he tried to adapt to the shock of everything returning at once again. All his emotions, but fresh and recently pumped with a sudden jolt that made him want to throw up from taking in too much too quickly.
"...Lawr......stay.........."
HP: 8
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Baneful rolled 2 12-sided dice:
7, 5
Total: 12 (2-24)
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 3:23 pm
Lawrence exhaled at the return of the quiet calm, even with the adrenaline of battle running through his body able to feel nothing more than the vague satisfaction of the fact he was winning. It was all just an ego thing, little else. He'd been close to something, close to a breakthrough, but wasn't he just always?
"I'm right here." he said.
And the fight wasn't over. He lashed out at Melvin in a backhanded swing.
"Right here."
HP: 53
DMG 6
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:48 pm
And he took the hit, falling to the side as he felt his shield hover on the cusp of breaking, and looked up as he watched Lawr, close beside him and talons out.
Shaking, he turned to him, knelt, and rose up his chin, neck barred and wing shown.
"Get closer."
HP: 2
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Baneful rolled 2 12-sided dice:
10, 10
Total: 20 (2-24)
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2017 6:55 am
Lawrence moved to stoop towards Melvin, reaching out to wrap his claws almost tenderly about his neck, pressing against the wing.
"Is this close enough?" he asked.
And then he squeezed.
HP: 53
DMG : 14
Rolling
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2017 2:49 pm
His breath rushed in quickly and he held it, feeling the claws about his neck and all he did was nod before the blades started to squeeze about his windpipe and spine, pressing and sparking against his shield before it shattered about him like glass and the wards rose up about them, a warning that things had gone too far, that the game was over, and that the spar was over.
His eyes looked up at Lawr, locked on his, as he reached out to touch his waist and bring him closer still.
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2017 3:13 pm
Lawrence reached down and desummoning Butch ran his own soft hand through Melvin's hair, lingering briefly before leaning over and running his hand down his arm to take his hand and pull him to his feet.
"That was fun." he said, giving the other man a sly smile. "If only pulling you outside the wards wouldn't get me killed it could be a proper fight, a bit of old fashioned nonsense."
He gave his hand a squeeze. "Besides, you deserve more than a little beating for saying that I am an unsatisfactory lover."
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2017 4:49 pm
Breathing deep to get the air back into his lungs, he rose up, eyes still set on Lawr but feeling far more at ease.
A bunching up of his brow as he stared back, confused. "Why would you believe that?"
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2017 5:20 pm
"Because you said it." he said. "You should be well enough aware that I find it difficult to gauge peoples intentions. As policy I tend to trust the people I care about."
He looked away huffily.
"And I tend to find things people say in anger are typically truest of all."
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