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 Posted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 7:42 pm
The fact of the matter was that Nash didn't want anything more. He'd made that clear when they'd ******** the first time, and it wasn't as though Melvin was unattractive or unappealing. Nash had thoroughly enjoyed their romp and wouldn't have minded another.
As long as it wasn't anything more than that, everything was fine.
Mostly. Except for the whole Lawrence thing.
Nash's gaze flickered over to Melvin. "Well, he cares about you, I should say. Me, I'm chopped liver, or some lower life form, I suppose. What was it he said? Something about being a vapid, superficial creature? Or wait, it was also something about how I'll spread my legs for anyone and that you'll find bigger and better things to turn to."
He shrugged a shoulder. "Not the first time I've heard any of that, though I could have done without the vapid part. He seems to think you're slumming it by sleeping with me, so I mean, take from that what you will. I figured you and I were on the same page about things."
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Posted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 7:54 pm
He tried not to cover his own face at imaging Lawr eloquently delivering spoonfuls of his own sassy poison at Nash, but it also made little sense why Lawr would even care who he dated and who he ******** with. That was until the last part, and he covered his mouth a moment at the thought of Lawr on the roof drilling int Nash that he was just some easy guy Melvin had rolled in the dirt with. It was actually insulting, though also a little bit touching Lawr wanted him to do better than - well, what did he see as better?
"W-We are. I thought - I thought we were. I really was happy when you offered and I enjoyed that night. I still think about it. I hope - I hope I wasn't weird or anything either." He had been restrained with Nash, not wanting to push into darker waters with him, and just entirely enamored with the thrill of the offer, the relief of his own needs, and just the fact he was seen desirable enough to be given that kind of offer regardless of how many people Nash probably had offered the same thing to. He was young and good looking in his own way, and he had been sweet after even when he teared up.
"Lawr just has - he has standards about people around him. I guess he wanted me to sleep with ......well I don't think anyone would be good enough for his standards unless they were like him. But he shouldn't even be bothering you in the first place. That's not his place to say even. He was the one that let me go. He was the one that got married when - "
He stopped.
He took a breath to calm himself.
"Nash, I'm sorry. You helped me a lot. I don't....I don't know what you expect or want and I hate to take more of our time....or anything that you already generously shared with me. I just......I just don't get why he would even care in the first place. I don't want him bothering people I've been with. You don't deserve that. Don't listen to what he says he's just..........uh......I don't know. I never had to deal with this before. You were the first person...after I was with him."
"He.....he only talked to you, right?"
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Posted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 8:37 pm
He was watching Melvin, gauging his reactions with a quiet sort of studiousness, Nash's fingers idly massaging his temple. He hadn't forgotten how Melvin had reacted - both to his offer and what had happened afterwards. Even Nash, with his stubborn resistance to all things sentimental and emotional and longer lasting, knew that the end of a relationship was never an easy thing. People reacted differently to them.
"You weren't weird," Nash said, with entire truthfulness. "It was fun. Lawrence said it was tame, but whatever it was, I had a good time and I wouldn't mind a repeat performance, if you were into that, but I don't feel I owe anyone an explanation for what I choose to do with myself."
He wasn't even a little annoyed at Melvin; all of Nash's suppressed irritation was directed at Lawrence. Melvin just happened to be the unfortunate middle ground they both shared.
Or had shared. Or whatever it was that Lawrence thought they were sharing.
"Yes, he said something about standards," said Nash dryly. "And he did imply that he was the only one good enough for you, but since he's also the one married, I sincerely doubt that to be the case at all."
He hadn't missed the way that Melvin had needed to take a breath to calm himself. Acheri clattered through Nash's mind with a rattle of bones and a crunch of breath, muttering something indistinguishable that was likely a disparaging comment, which Nash ignored, as he always did.
A laugh escaped. "You mean, did he try and shove me off of the rooftop? No, we only talked, but I'm sure it did cross his mind."
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Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 5:14 am
He gave a nervous laugh too. "I'm glad he didn't, though I would have come to the Infirmary after I chewed Lawr out for what he tried to do." Which was murder Nash, but he supposed he either didn't see Nash worth the trouble or the medication was helping. Maybe he was too tired to do it, as the side effects often let Lawr napping on his couch.
"I think.....maybe he sometimes hopes things will change with his husband Rodney and that I'll be let back into his life again. But even then....when we were together, things were still....pretty bad."
No matter how many times he and Lawr tried, things always changed and he always wound up hurt from it. Being away from Lawr hurt, but he wasn't sure if that hurt matched up to the same way as being with him did. It had left his world on an angle when they were dating and he was always on edge for the next turn on the roller coaster.
"I wouldn't mind a repeat either." Because with Nash, things had been simple, and were so far, though Lawrence was bringing in complications. He wasn't sure how long Nash would even be willing to give that kind of offer if Lawr kept talking to him and putting more drama into his life he didn't want. For the moment, he could only take what was given for as long as it was given.
"He didn't - get to you, did he?"
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Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 6:10 pm
Nash plucked idly at his shirtfront, not saying what he really wanted to, which was something vague about where exactly Lawrence could shove his standards. Melvin already seemed relatively upset about how things had gone down, which he supposed was a bonus, if only because it showed that he wasn't actually pining for his ex anymore.
Or maybe he was. Nash did not care for pining, or ex-lovers, or really anything that could invite drama, and he especially did not care for strings that were attached to something he viewed as fun and pleasurable and a good time for all parties involved.
Or supposed to, at least. Nash was, at least, mollified by the idea that Melvin wouldn't mind a repeat performance and wasn't letting Lawrence keep him from enjoying himself.
"He's a weirdo," said Nash succinctly, gaze flickering up to the ceiling, then moving idly around the room. "I mean, I'm not dissing your choice of men, but he's not exactly prime material in my books. You can do better - which, really, was what he said, of me," he added thoughtfully, tapping a finger against his cheek.
His lips pressed together for a moment. "Not as much as he wanted to get to me, but I do prefer at least being in bed when I'm called a slut."
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Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 6:42 pm
He's a weirdo.
The statement stung, to his surprise. Not that Lawr wasn't peculiar, but because he was someone he had loved and cherished, someone he related to in some ways, and someone he loved talking to even now. To say he was weird criticized that, and in turn pointed out that he too was weird.
But - it wasn't false. To those on the outside who didn't understand that Lawr was devoid of the social understanding and emotional empathy others held could see it just as being strange and peculiar. It was a blunt assessment of something deeper that he was privy to, and Nash was right that he wasn't prime material by many people's assessment. Even Lawr himself said he could do better, and yet - he was judging what he went to work and find out on his own.
"He.....developed his own appeal the longer I was with him....and a lot of things happened that kept me with him. It took.." It was hard to discuss everything of what happened with Lawr to someone who didn't know or might not even care. "...a lot of bad things for us to stop. And even then, he broke it off." He hadn't been strong enough to do it himself.
"You probably don't care to hear about all this." He looked up over at him before he remembered. "Your coffee."
Getting up, he left the room and returned to the kitchen, there he paused to stare at the open window. Glancing back, he moved over to shut it and then walked over to the coffee machine. He made Nash a cup, picking it up in one hand, leaving a spoon there, put the creamer bottle into his pocket, and picked up the sugar container in his other hand. He returned and set it on the table before him, setting the bottle down. "I don't know how you like it."
He paused a moment, looking at the mug as he slowly sat back down on the couch. "I'm not a good judge of character. I know that. I don't know you that well either, but so far, I think you are better than him in ways. I don't feel knotted up when I'm around you."
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Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 7:11 pm
Nash's fingers idly moved through his hair, an unconscious gesture of thought. "Look," he said, after a moment had passed. "I'm not gonna say that you're dumb or whatever for staying with him. People stick with people for reasons, and you don't owe me any explanations or anything. You know yourself what happened, and while it sucks that things ended shittily or that there were shitty things about your relationship, it was still a relationship, and that means something to you."
Not to him, because Nash wasn't involved. Melvin certainly had his own issues, but it wasn't like they were enough at present to be a problem for Nash. In truth, he did care, but likely not in the way that Melvin was insinuating. He cared about the fact that Lawrence had treated him like scum of the earth, and he cared about the fact that it had rattled him more than he cared to let on, especially to Melvin.
Nash straightened, dropping his hand, and leaned over the table to reach for the creamer first. "Thanks," he said, pouring a healthy amount in. It was followed by the sugar, Nash stirring it altogether before he reclined back in the chair, inhaling deeply.
He would have shrugged again, but it would have rattled his coffee. Nash said, "I don't think anyone's a good judge of character, if we're being honest. People do stupid things even when they're intelligent, but it doesn't make them less intelligent. But thanks."
It was nice to be thought of that way. Nash took a sip of coffee and closed his eyes at the taste, letting the warmth seep through him before he opened them again.
"If he can move on, so can you, in whatever way you feel works for you - not what he thinks is best for you."
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Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 7:18 pm
But was Lawr moving on in that way? He approached Nash about it. It meant there might be repeats.
"If he ever does that again, tell me. I'll ...talk to him."
And for that, he supposed that was that. He didn't want to bother Nash anymore with it, and was actually happy to have his company here again.
He liked coffee, that was good. That was another thing he was learning.
"Do you spend a lot of time alone on the roof?"
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Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 7:37 pm
He nodded, taking another sip of his coffee, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, Nash amused in spite of himself.
"Oh, if he talks to me again, you'll likely know about it, I'm sure."
The coffee was doing well to take the edge off of the tension in Nash's shoulders, however comfortably he was slumping and however relaxed he may have appeared. He let himself relax a little further into the chair, wishing, not for the first time, that his room was bigger and more like this one.
"Yep," he answered lightly, Nash tapping a black painted finger on the side of the mug. "I like to people watch up there. Or just have some time to myself, really, as much as I like people."
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 7:07 pm
"You sound like you should be in Death instead of Sun." He said with a smile.
"Can I ask - why did you come here? You seem pretty easy going and independent. Did you come with your brother?"
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 7:26 pm
Nash let out a laugh. "Maybe. But I like the whole stabby stab Sun division.
He blew a breath over the top of his coffee mug, then gave a shrug. "October was here a few months before I was, actually. I lost track of him for a few years, we were never really that close as adults. I went looking for him and then found a group online of likeminded people who all had the same shadow s**t experience, so we sort of bonded."
Nash's gaze was slightly distant, lost in thought. "We all were recruited at the same time. I didn't even know October was here until I ran into him after I fell out of the pod."
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 7:30 pm
"I'm surprised. You two seem close now. Did something happen between you two?" He wasn't sure how they had gotten so far apart in the first place. It seemed they might have been close when they were kids, but then again.
"I never got along much with my younger brother, but I was close to my eldest sister. While I miss having family, I am glad they aren't here as a consultation."
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2017 6:55 am
The specifics of his relationship with October felt muddled, even to Nash. He tapped a black finger idly against his mug, an unconscious gesture and said, "I lost track of him after he went to school. He's stupid smart, and he just did his own thing, wasn't very communicative And then he disappeared, apparently he was in some sort of..." Nash waved a hand. "Zombie land or something, I don't know. They recruited him here."
He took another swallow of coffee and gave Melvin a look over the rim of his cup.
"I mean, for safety's sake, it does kinda suck he's here too, but he's stronger than I am, so I think he'll be okay."
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Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2017 8:24 pm
"Do you want to reconnect with him better than before?" He asked, not sure if Nash was comfortable with October doing his own thing or that their communication was still distant and rough
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