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 Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2017 11:00 am
When Whisler pulled Amesite closer, for a split second he had to wonder if he knew what he was getting himself into. His heart rate increased, either because for that split second he didn’t think he was in control or because the closeness actually had that effect on him, but he covered it as well as he could with a well-placed smile.
“If they tried,” he said after a moment, “Would you help me?”
He held the closeness; there was no doubt in his mind that Whisler wanted this closeness. This wasn’t just flirting, it was something else. Was he so eager to be close to Chaos?
…How long could he dance with Chaos before it swallowed him up and brought him home?
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Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2017 11:01 am
Whisler chuckled and pulled away slightly to grace Amesite with a half amused, half exasperated look. “Didn’t you just hear me when I said that I don’t want you to get hurt? Of course I’d come and get you out of trouble if I knew about it. I’m not going to lose you now that we’ve become friends. That would make me a terrible person, which I’m not, so.”
He moved closer once more, savoring the contact between the two of them. The spark that he was sure that he felt.
“But...do me a favor and do try to keep yourself safe...my goal in life isn’t to save you all the time, it’s to bring you over to the side where you can save yourself.” The knight hesitated a moment then buried his face in the crook of Amesite’s neck, mumbling. “Though...I would save you from anything if I could. Order, Chaos, it doesn’t matter. Nobody will ever hurt you if I can help it. Nobody hurts those I care about.”
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Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2017 11:08 am
Whisler couldn’t see the smile that spread across Amesite’s face; he rested his chin on the Knight’s shoulder as they danced.
Whisler cared about him, already.
Amesite wasn’t sure if it was a sign of weakness or desperation, or if maybe Whisler’s heart was just so large he couldn’t help it. Amesite would rather believe that he was just doing such a good job that he was making this much progress, even if only because he really liked the idea that he could be succeeding.
“I just wanted to hear you say it again,” he said quietly, speaking softly right into the Knight’s ears.
“I like the way you make my heart beat. The way you make my thoughts wander. I am only sad that there is a war between us, but maybe one day, one of us will discover where they belong. Though, I confess…I’m not so sure I’m the one on the wrong side. But,” he shrugged. “There’s time yet to see. And in the meantime…there’s so much more I want to do with you.”
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Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2017 9:52 pm
Whisler chuckled, and for a moment he felt…really, really peaceful. Happy. Why was it always those in the Negaverse that made him feel so at peace? This was stupid.
The words had his own heart striking up another set of erratic beats and he sighed, pressing, if possible, even closer. “I truly hope it ends with you coming back to the light, Amesite…I…” The knight swallowed and shrugged, stopping the dance and pulling away, reaching for both of the lieutenant’s hands and squeezing them softly. “I can’t go back to your side…so if…”
He sighed. “I mean. You’re right. There’s time to see…and we should just…”
Whisler shrugged and looked utterly miserable for a moment, before taking Amesite into his arms and once more hiding his face in the male’s neck. Why was this such a stupidly hard thing to say? He should know. He should know the truth that Whisler was stuck with order from now until he died…that he was most likely on some Kill on Sight list within the Negaverse…and that if Amesite was caught talking to him like this, he would most likely end up getting hurt regardless.
But Whisler could say none of this. He didn’t want to spoil the moment…the moment he had already spoiled, if he wasn’t mistaken
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Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 11:06 am
There was something more, something that Amesite couldn’t translate and something that Whisler wasn’t saying. Something important, something he needed to know. He didn’t want to push Whisler too hard, but he couldn’t stand the idea of there being this bump, this obstacle, that he couldn’t plan around.
He drew Whisler closer, embraced him and held him tightly.
Protectively.
“You don’t have to lie to me. What are you hiding, Whisler? What aren’t you saying? It’s not going to drive me away, if that’s what you’re afraid of. If you’re in trouble, I want to help you.”
He wasn’t going to give up. Amesite had never quit, and he’d already decided that Whisler was his project. He wanted him in the Negaverse; he wanted the satisfaction. He wasn’t prepared to settle for less, but he wasn’t going to complain if he could at least get some information out of it.
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Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 11:06 am
“I’m not...I’m not lying to you. I’m just.” He pulled away again, drawing one of the lieutenant's hands to his cheek, letting it linger over the glowing snowflakes that resided there. “You see these? They mean I can never come back. I’m part of order, no matter if I want to be or not, I’ve sealed my fate so...that’s that.”
Whisler closed his eyes, bracing himself for Amesite to get angry, or to get annoyed…
To do something and leave him, honestly.
Ashanite had done that, hadn't he? That General King had turned on him the moment the snowflakes had appeared. He was tainted. Disgusting.
“I...I’m sorry.”
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Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 11:08 am
Truthfully, Amesite didn’t know what that meant. He eyed the snowflakes on the male’s face and brushed his thumb over them again.
“They are a curse, then?” he asked after a moment. “Trapping you. Binding you. Is that what you’re telling me?”
He had wanted to pry, to ask more questions about the strange glowing marks, but he didn’t want Whisler to know just how ignorant he was to so much. He was still learning, but he was making strides where he could.
“You shouldn’t have to apologize for something out of your control. What is it? How did it happen—what does it do?”
He wasn’t angry, only curious. Outwardly, he played up the concern. Inwardly, he was wondering if something could be done—and who he would talk to for more answers.
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Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 11:08 am
“They’re...not a curse. They’re protection from Chaos. A safeguard against corruption and...I don’t know. It’s. It’s fancy and some people are super happy that I have them. That I transcended. That’s what it’s called, or so I’ve heard...Transcending. It um. It happened while I was trying to uh...Come back, I guess. It was a while ago and I wasn’t in the best of places but…”
He shrugged and tried to stop talking. Unfortunately it was just so easy to talk to Amesite, and when Whisler found it easy to talk to someone...he talked far, far too much.
“But, that was a long time ago I swear so, it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m not going back, I’m where I am, and I’m making the best of it, trying to save those who are still trapped in the darkenss...I want to be their light.”
He swallowed and opened his eyes again. “I would like to be your light, if you would let me.”
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Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 11:09 am
Amesite once again found himself raising a brow. “I don’t know,” he said slowly. “Sort of sounds like a trap, if they showed up to stop you from doing something you wanted to do. If you didn’t agree to that, it’s sort of…”
His voice trailed off and, while he hoped Whisler would get the point, he couldn’t help but add, “Giving me a Stockholm Syndrome vibe. Even the name, ‘Trasncending’. Transcending what, free choice? Forgive me if it sounds ignorant, but I’m not a fan of anything being forced on someone against their will. And I also don’t think you should have to say ‘it doesn’t matter’. It sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself that it doesn’t matter. ‘Making the best of it’? Whisler,” he said softly—tenderly.
He stroked his cheek sympathetically; his brows were knit with what seemed to be clear concern. “That’s not something someone says if they’re happy with where they are. That’s what someone says when they’re trying to find something to be happy about. It sounds, if you’ll pardon me saying…”
He paused, for effect, if not just to make it seem as though he were debating on what he should actually say, “The reason you’re so interested in guiding me away from the Negaverse is because you’re trying so hard to have something that makes you happy where you are.”
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Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 11:09 am
For a moment, Whisler didn’t know quite what to say, and he felt as though there was a lump in his throat. This was…this was not the reaction he was used to, or the reaction that he was expecting and…and it made him feel utterly confused.
“You’re still so new, Amesite…” It wasn’t what he had wanted to say, and wasn’t even quite what he meant to say, but those were the words that came flowing from his own lips. “You don’t understand. I’m something that can’t be brought home. I’m something that…someone that is better to just attack on sight. I’m…I gave up any chance at coming back, so honestly, unless you really are hoping to run away with me, you shouldn’t be talking to me if you value your place within the Negaverse. One of your General Kings made it quite clear how he felt about me so…”
Whisler leaned into the touch again, loving how gentle it was and how Amesite was making his heart pound but…
But he couldn’t let this continue.
“Of course I’m not happy where I am. Of course I wish there was something to be done, but there isn’t. This is my life now, so I will do what I can to make the best of it. So. There.”
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Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 11:09 am
“New does not mean bad,” Amesite reminded quietly; he did not seem offended. He knew his newness was going to work against him, but he was working to overcome it. Working quickly, and working hard, but he had only been out this for a short time and no matter how much effort he put into things, he knew it wasn’t a process he could overcome overnight.
What Whisler said was discerning; it seemed like even if he could convince him to come back to the Negaverse, some magic was preventing it.
How Whisler said it was reassuring, though.
‘I can’t be brought home’.
Whisler was caling it home, still.
He wasn’t happy.
Amesite’s heart was pounding, more from unexplored options, more from hope than anyting. It was a problem, an unsolved problem.
If he could solve it, they’d have no choice but to notice him. They’d have to praise him.
He shook his head and reached both hands, gently cradling Whisler’s face between them. “You gave up because you were alone. It’s easy to give up when it’s you against the world. But it’s not like that anymore, Whisler. You’re not alone. I don’t want to join the Knight if it means I have to be miserable and out of place. You would make it worthwhile, I’m sure, but there has to be a better option here.”
His eyes were locked on Whisler’s.
“I’ll look into it, Whisler. If you wish something could be done, maybe something can be done. Maybe no one has cared enough, until now.”
He stroked Whisler’s cheeks with his thumbs and stayed close to him.
“I won’t stop until you’re happy. Not settling, not ‘making the best’. Happy.”
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Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 11:10 am
Whisler swallowed hard and nodded slightly. “I…I’m not trying to say that there’s anything wrong with being a knight, I do like it, I swear…” He felt like he was melting with the touches, the reassurance. It was so nice, and…honestly, it was what he had been hoping to hear ever since this had happened…all he had gotten from Ashanite was biting words that left him feeling so lost and so confused and…
Had he really been happy since then? Virell made him happy, sure but…but something kind of still felt off between the two of them lately. And Arias…
Honestly, there was still resentment for Arias for not just corrupting with him ages ago…it would have made everything so much easier…and if he was able to free himself from this…
Perhaps he really could have it all…
Slowly he smiled and moved his head forward, resting his forehead against the Lieutenants. “You’d really help me? You’d really do whatever just to make me happy? You make absolutely no sense, you know. No sense at all.”
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Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 11:10 am
“I would never make a promise I didn’t intend to keep,” he said softly, smiling reassuringly. Whisler seemed so ready to believe whatever he said, and Amesite knew that was just going to help him down the road. Either Whisler was playing him or he really meant it, and even if Amesite had been a good actor, he couldn’t imagine that Whisler could be that much better than him.
“I knew, the first time I saw you, that there was something special about you. You can’t deny that, Whisler. I’m attracted to it. And maybe it’s not just you. Maybe, there’s just something in you, calling to me. I couldn’t ignore it if I wanted to. And if that doesn’t make sense…”
He paused, chewed the inside of his cheek for a split second. “I’ll just find some other way to explain it.”
There was no more time for thought, for planning. He had an opening, and he took it.
He pressed his lips to Whisler’s.
It would be brief, only a few seconds, but he fully intended to make every last one count.
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Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 11:11 am
The smile stayed on his face and Whisler gave a little laugh. “Maybe we were just meant to be. Meant to know one another…” The kiss…it wasn’t unexpected, it was hoped for, and the knight returned it as tenderly as he could, his arms snaking down to wrap themselves around Amesite. “I…see.”
He wanted the kiss to linger on, he wanted to kiss him again…just to make sure it hadn’t been some sort of a mistake on the lieutenant’s part. “Your lips are really soft.” And then his were on Amesite’s again, hoping for more, wanting more of him.
Of course, a nagging voice in the back of his mind made him pull away, suddenly frowning. “If…if it doesn’t work. If helping me leads nowhere and I’m stuck here, would you think about it? About coming to my side? Eventually someone will find out that you’re seeing me. Talking to me. Kissing me…and you’ll get into trouble. If we can’t…if we can’t get rid of the transcendence and bring me back home…will you seriously consider leaving the Negaverse? Being with me?” He wasn’t even asking for a promise to purify...just to have him think about it.
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Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 11:12 am
Everything was going so smoothly; Amesite had only found reassurance. He had to be on the right path, here. He laughed softly when Whisler mentioned his lips; he nodded but didn’t comment on it.
And then Whisler pulled away and a little voice in the back of his head said don’t let him put this distance between you.
So, he reached to take Whisler’s hands and laced fingers with him, giving him the touch he seemed to crave.
“Whisler. If I get involved with you, like this, I’m not just going to abandon you. If I can’t bring you home, we’ll just have to make a new one for you. A better one than where you’re at now—because if you’re not happy, that isn’t good enough. We’ll figure something out. But I’m not going to give up easily. I’ll put my heart and soul into finding something to help you. And if I fail, if it can’t be done…”
He nodded. “It won’t be the last you see of me. I told you, I will help you find happiness.”
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