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 Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 4:05 pm
"If we can't forgive, then we won't be forgiven," Rodney said sadly. "And...I don't know if I'd be-" he flinched, "s-satisfied, hurting someone, I...want...everything to be better, for everyone. You...you too, everyone, I just want, everyone to be alright..."
He clenched his knees.
"It...it was a selfish thing, anyway. That's...what it was out of. I thought, maybe,
this once- so...I...wasn't mistreated. I deserve everything to go exactly the way it did."
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 4:12 pm
"Of course you will be forgiven, that was the promise, was it not?" He sat up straighter, and offered Rodney a small smile, "I had wondered, why such a door was so very open to me." He stood up, "The one you wish to forgive is yourself. The one you will never forgive is yourself."
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 4:29 pm
"By Melvin?" Rodney asked, this obviously on his mind, "no, it...it doesn't matter, he- got what he wanted, I don't think...he thought of me at all,
except...as someone who was in the way. I'm...maybe that's why. I was in L-Lawrence's way too. Keeping him from...what he wanted. It's why he left."
Rodney seemed to sink further and further into the pew.
"I'd rather just...disappear. But that's a sin too, isn't it? Wanting that? I thought...here, it would be for a good cause, at least. It'll...happen when it's supposed to."
The figure talked about forgiving himself.
"I'll...just keep causing problems, for everyone."
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 7:07 pm
The smile broadened, as the man moved toward Rodney, "I do not know this Melvin. But your god will forgive you, no doubt, once it is time. He wrote it in the blood of the son, did he not?" He stood in front of Rodney and here someone else might crouch to eye level, but this one would never, despite his current pleasantries he was still the one who loomed on high, above and beyond mortal grasp. "Perhaps you will. That is what happens when you are owed a pound of flesh: a void of increasing debt, drawing in all others without direction or control."
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Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2017 2:13 am
"Yes," Rodney said, feeling a little comforted. "Yes, it's...paid for, my mistakes. And He...accepts me as I am,"
He shook his head, and trembled a bit.
"That's...that's the problem, isn't it? We feel...owed, or wr-wronged, when we've...wronged other people. It's...easier to focus on other people's mistakes, instead of...atoning for ours. I...don't ever want to be like..."
Them, he thought, his parents.
"And- trying is all I have. Even if I'm...still a burden. Even if I've lost...m-marriage isn't for people like me." He looked at the figure. "Are you alone?"
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Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2017 7:10 am
"You do not want to be, and yet..." He spread his hands. "Is there a limit to what cruelties you deserve by your own judgement? And in others, is there not the same fallen seed, the same sins?" At Rodney question, he turned and began to walk away. "I am followed by many and will be followed by many more. I am your devil, Rodney, not your friend. Perhaps you need to face yourself more fully. Should you ever wish to, there's a door. Below the place you consider the dormitories." When he woke, he would find an apple, shining and red and perfect, laying beside his head.
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Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2017 1:05 pm
Rodney wasn't expecting anyone or anything next to his pillow in the morning. The new house that Malk and Mik had helped him move into was nicer than the basement, but like everywhere else he had stayed, he felt like a guest.
Even the other house. He'd been a guest there, too.
At first, he thought it was a ball, and he touched it, sleep draining from him in a way he knew he wouldn't be able to find it again. His sleep was always shallow and easily broken.
He turned on his bedside lamp.
The Garden of Eden never described an apple, only a fruit (contrary to the popular belief), but it was an Apple that decorated the back of Lawrence's coat. He thought at first in a sleepy way that Lawrence might have left it for him, but memories of the dream crept over him and he got a very cold sort of aching feeling.
The apple must have come from someone Else.
It would be another day alone.
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