|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 1:43 pm
Caspian almost rolled his eyes - almost, and the sideways glance he gave Michael clearly indicated that a few weeks ago, Michael would have said the opposite of you're not that bad. Which he supposed was progress and a good thing, but it was still a little amusing.
He'd almost forgotten that he'd met Sessrumnir before he'd met Michael, back in Negaspace all those months ago. Caspian's gaze flickered to the scar, then back up to Michael's face. Somehow the answer did not surprise him, though it did make a shiver run through him, barely hidden as Caspian shifted on the bed, drawing one knee up to rest his leg while sitting partially sideways. It was like listening to an old nightmare, and while Caspian had not had the same dream as Michael had, he could feel the resignation and the despair thick in his voice.
"...it's not cheesy, or silly," he said quietly, after a minute, and he was looking at Michael with an odd expression on his face. It was a mixture of confusion and curiosity and something else all rolled together, his lips pressed together in thought. "It's...I can't even imagine if that were the case; if I lost my family to the Negaverse."
He thought of Cassie, of his mother. Caspian closed his eyes and this time he did not try and hold back. Instead, inclined towards Michael, he leaned forward a few inches and rested his forehead against Michael's upper arm, his hair sweeping across his cheeks. It was an almost childish gesture, a need for reassurance as much as it was an effort to give reassurance, the same way that Michael had stroked his hair a few moments earlier.
"If I have those dreams again," he said, without lifting his head. "Could I text you or something? Just so I can talk to someone who knows."
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 6:16 pm
Although he ignored them, Michael knew the warning bells were ringing. They’d been nagging at him ever since he’d found out Remus was Caspian and vice versa. He was getting too close to someone, regardless of whether or not they were just a friendly ally or what. And now… now he was sure he was too involved to draw back.
He could try to push Caspian away again, like he did with so many others. They often took his sometimes brash personality to heart when he told them how horrible of an idea powering up and fighting the Negaverse was. How they should quit and stop trying to live a life they might have been forced into, but were clearly not qualified for. It would be easy to tell Caspian no, not to text him, to go straight to the hospital next time, to stop powering up because he wouldn’t help.
But he’d already tried that with him, and since Caspian was stubborn beyond belief, it didn’t exactly go as planned. And now they’d come full circle. He’d said things to Caspian about his own life that he’d never told anyone else, all because he could see himself in Caspian and because Caspian had opened up to him, showing he was more than just jokes and sarcasm.
There were only really two ways that Michael could go from this point. He could accept the fact that Caspian was was going to be in his life now, as someone he would try to mentor and help when shitty stuff happened, or he could n** the whole thing in the bud and go back to being the loner he’d been since leaving the Navy -- so much so that he reached the point where his youngest brother was concerned enough to actually move in with him, despite being absent for most of Peter’s life.
Michael had tensed when Remus’s forehead rested against his shoulder, and for a long moment he didn’t do anything. Finally, he shifted and pulled his arm away so Caspian could no longer rest against him.
Caspian was young, excitable, and ready to try and understand the powers he suddenly had. Michael could see that in himself, but he also knew that being out there on your own was very draining, almost impossible. How he’d managed to do it was only because he’d reached the point he didn’t think he could come back from before he’d become a knight. It was miserable doing all of this alone, and terrifying to know that something could happen and no one would ever know that you were dying in an alleyway after being attacked.
The motion of pulling away was only enough for him to be able to lift his arm and place it around Caspian’s shoulders, twisting on the bed so he could gently pull the other closer to rest his forehead against his chest instead, with his hand placed back against the black strands that revealed the bright colors underneath.
“Yeah,” he said softly, once again running his fingertips against Caspian’s scalp in what he still hoped was a comforting gesture, his chin resting on that same hand as he stared across his dull and boring room. “Yeah, text or call or whatever. I don’t care how late it is.” It wasn’t lost on him that just a little while ago, he would have threatened to block all forms of contact if he ended up getting texts at random hours during the night, but now he didn’t even warn against emojis or random pictures being sent to him. If Caspian was lonely and needed that attention or reassurance that someone else was there, then… he supposed that was the least he could do.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 7:37 pm
He knew, somewhere inside of his head, that getting too close to someone was potentially dangerous; that the connections he made would probably only make things more difficult in the future. But Caspian had always been a people person, even if he tended to be lighthearted about things in general. His only relationship of significance in Destiny City so far was with his own sister, mostly because Caspian, in spite of his friendliness, also had a tendency to keep people just far enough away that they could be close without being too close. Depending on someone else was too much.
But he couldn't do this on his own, not this. Not when he was being stabbed at and kicked and almost killed by Negaverse agents intent on yanking out his starseed and crushing it between their fingers. No one could possibly have prepared him for this, and that was it - he hadn't been prepared for this, not in the least. Being told he was a senshi who had powers was one thing. Being thrown into the middle of an all out, violent war was entirely another.
And he couldn't make it without some sort of guidance, not if he was going to be waking up in the middle of the night with his head full of nightmares and his thoughts twisted in blackness. Michael had said that his nightmares had almost outdone him, and Caspian did not want - could not have - them overtaking him, not now.
Not when he knew there was no other path for him than this.
Michael seemed to think differently, however; he'd tensed as Caspian leaned against him, and then had pulled away, and Caspian, after a second's shock, snapped his head up, his expression a mixture of disbelief, and a flush of irritated embarrassment that he'd finally pushed too far. He started to shift away, feeling a sense of angry humiliation - but before he could, Michael's arm was around his shoulders, and then he was being pulled forward, encircled by warmth and the feel of Michael's hand smoothing gently through his hair.
For a moment, Caspian froze, too stunned to do anything else; but then he bit his lip, fighting back a smile that couldn't be seen, and let himself relax, one hand rising. He shook back the sleeve of the sweatshirt just far enough so that he could curl his fingers into the Michael's shirt, leaning against him; and this close he could feel the way he breathed, alive and well, however scarred he was.
"Officer, you old softie," Caspian murmured, but his hand was trembling slightly as he tightened his grasp; the uncertainty and sheer relief exposed for what it was, because saying thank you was hard enough. Caspian closed his eyes and eased out a breath that made his chest hurt.
"You know," he said quietly after a moment, and hesitated a little before he continued. "If you ever...have another nightmare, you can always call me or text me too. I wouldn't mind."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 7:57 pm
While he knew there had been different options he could have followed through with, options that would keep Caspian and everyone else out past arm’s length where they should be, he also knew that at some point he’d crossed the line and pushing Caspian away was no longer an option.
He rubbed his fingers against Caspian’s hair, not commenting on the fact that he was shaking, for whatever reason. For all Michael knew, he could still be afraid and still trying to wake up from his nightmares. He would know how horrible they were since he had them, too.
“Oh, shut up,” he grunted at the comment about him being soft, but even then he didn’t release his hold around Caspian’s shoulders, especially not when he’d taken the effort to take hold of his shirt as well. Had Caspian needed this? Michael had kept people away for so long that he wasn’t really good with the whole sympathy thing. He just did what he thought might show Caspian that he wasn’t alone.
Michael drew in a deep breath when Caspian offered to let him text or call, as well, not sure how he would convince his pride to do that, but it was a nice gesture, even if he would never be able to admit to his nightmares. Which seemed a bit hypocritical, since he was perfectly okay with Caspian telling him about his.
“Alright,” he said as he let out the breath which ghosted over Caspian’s hair. Was this okay? Or was it too much? Michael didn’t know. It drew forth things from inside him that hadn’t surfaced since he was younger, and some things he couldn’t recognize at all. His immediate reaction was to reject those clearly foreign emotions, but he couldn’t. It scared him that he didn’t know why.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 8:33 pm
He did not want to think about the fact that holding onto Michael like this would make him seem even more of a kid than Michael already thought he was. Caspian pushed that aside, focused on the fact that he felt warm and secure here, in this unfamiliar, grey room with someone whom he'd come to feel as though he could trust.
Maybe it was arrogance or an assumption on his part, but maybe, just maybe, Michael would be able to trust him too.
He felt, rather than saw, Michael's inhaled breath and knew it was a question of pride. Caspian was younger and newer; offering to do something like talk him through a nightmare seemed ludicrously outrageous, considering how little he knew; but the offer was there because Michael had extended one to him. Returning the favor, yes, but the desire to help was genuine.
And Michael had relented. Caspian bit back another smile of relief, holding tightly to the side of his shirt and feeling his hair ruffle a little, something warm expanding in his chest that felt a great deal like happiness. He would have to get up at some point; his back was still throbbing, as was the rest of him, but he let himself indulge in the warmth that surrounded him for just a little bit longer.
He did not exactly know how to pull away. His confidence and bravado only extended so far; this was not a situation that Caspian was used to being in, and he had to shift his brain into gear to try and figure out where to go, what to do.
New situation meant resorting to new methods, but Caspian only knew how to do resort to one, which happened to be humor and mischief.
After a moment, he said, "I hope you know, you aren't getting your sweatshirt back."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 8:47 pm
Not wanting to seem as though he was pushing Caspian away (although, wasn’t he just debating on if he wanted to do that or not?), Michael kept his arm around his shoulders until it seemed as though Caspian got out whatever he might have needed from the gesture. He certainly didn’t seem all that inclined to move away, although Michael was sure that he was still in pain, despite the fast working pain relievers.
A small snort of amusement escaped him when he was informed about his sweatshirt, “I figured.” It wasn’t that big of a deal, anyway, and if it made things a little easier on Caspian, maybe make him feel like he wasn’t completely alone, then that was fine with him. “Take care of it at least. I’ve had that since the Navy,” he explained, glancing down over Caspian’s shoulder at the outstretched wings poking out from beneath the hood.
Michael didn’t know when that moment happened, that he would rather help Caspian than keep himself at a distance, but it was there and he was following through with his promises to him.
“Alright, you should shower. You’re still covered in dirt from last night. You gonna be okay? Maybe a bath would be better so you don’t collapse,” he suggested, hoping he didn’t seem as though he was rushing Caspian or anything like that, but he probably felt gross, too. And Michael still had to check to make sure his wounds looked okay.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 9:07 pm
He felt as though the unwanted tension between them was slowly dissolving, dissipating away until what was left was a mutual respect and a desire to actually make this work...somehow. It was a warm, pleasant feeling, something that Caspian had not felt before, and it made him want to stay where he was, burrowed here in warmth and someone that was starting to grow more familiar and comfortable to him as time passed.
"I'll make sure to not set it on fire or anything," Caspian promised, unable to help himself, although it was followed by a snort of laughter that he buried in Michael's chest, along with an resigned exhaling of breath.
"I see how it is, you're just trying to get me out of bed," he said, voice muffled against his shirt, but his tone was lighthearted and teasing. Caspian let himself indulge just one more second, giving Michael's side a little squeeze, and then finally drew back, rubbing at his eye with one sleeve covered hand.
"A bath it is," he intoned, gesturing vaguely in the direction the bathroom might be, since he had no idea. "Lead on, officer."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 9:19 pm
Michael grimaced at the thought of his sweatshirt being lit on fire, but shook his head to remind himself that Caspian tended to joke about things like that. While he didn’t have any qualms with parting with it, he didn’t exactly want to see it abused.
Finally, when Caspian pulled back, Michael slid off the bed to offer a hand as support, lest Caspian’s legs give out from under him.
“Yeah, yeah,” he indulged him and his teasing, although he shook his head again at the fact that Caspian could turn about anything into a joke. But that was how he wanted it, wasn’t it? He’d been much more concerned when he wasn’t joking or making any sarcastic comments. It was good to see a little bit of mirth back in his eyes.
“This way,” he directed, taking his time to lead the way. After making sure his wounds weren’t irritated too much and something to eat, he’d see what Caspian wanted to do then. Whether it be stay there longer or go home. Of course, he was sure Caspian realized that the doors to his home would be open for him if he ever needed somewhere to go.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
