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Posted: Mon May 09, 2016 2:51 pm
Touching Melvin's hair gently in an affectionate gesture, Lawrence shook his head. "You'll just be throwing up again in a bit possibly, you should at least get some fluids replenished and have a look at your levels. "
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Posted: Mon May 09, 2016 2:56 pm
A chuckle shook his shoulders. "It's strange hearing you talk in support of getting a checkup for my levels after all the mess with your health." He looked up and then patted the shoulder he was resting on.
"Okay. I'm going." He left the bathroom slowly and moved to the door, pausing to see if Jan was coming.
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Posted: Mon May 09, 2016 3:12 pm
"My health is different." he said. "Yours is important."
He followed along with a bit of hesitancy, uncertain if as a "good person" he should be seen in public with the man he so sorely acted against.
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Posted: Mon May 09, 2016 3:21 pm
"I don't get how you could ignore hunger. My stomach feels horrible." Sure, he didn't want to eat but he knew he was hungry.
Opening the door, he walked out and gave a dramatic sigh at actually going to the Infirmary for a stomach ache.
The walk there felt grueling and he had to stop once just to keep his stomach in check before it settled and they went to check in. When he explained he hadn't been on a mission but was experiencing nausea to the point of throwing up and had not been drinking, he was sent to a room to sit and wait for a tech.
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 5:01 am
"I didn't ignore it." he said. "The hunger was part of what it was about. So long as I could feel the pain then I was anchored. Or something like that." he looked a little embarrassed to recount it and a little concerned at how appealing it still seemed.
He waited with Melvin patiently.
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 9:17 am
"Do you feel you are going to drift away? Do you want pain? Seems from what America and Hirace have, you'd want to give it." He said, holding his stomach as he looked over to him.
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 11:04 am
"It's not so much a fear of drifting away Melvin as being dubious that I actually exist at all. The pain reminded me in some way that I did. It's not so much of an issue now, though I do find myself on occasion feeling like something as simple as eating is an unnatural and compulsive act." he shook his head. "And I do enjoy handing out pain, it is satisfying watching how other people and their bodies react, but it has always been on the same par as sex for instance, it is all responses and satisfaction. Of course I wouldn't do any of that any more, I just want to help people, I want to be good and do good things."
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 5:00 am
"I'm glad that you aren't testing your existence with such a dangerous habit. You have enough things testing your well-being. You don't need to add to it. I can only sometimes imagine what feeling like you don't exist feels like. I have moments, but most of the time, they don't feel all that bad these days. More like something - that might actually be rather nice and peaceful." To just not be and ease into the background of being.
"If you ever need some reminder you exist, I can always kick you in the a**." He said, smiling faintly before the door clicked.
A long-haired, brunette tech came in, a pastel pink head back set against her crown as she walked in and looked the two over. "I'm just going to set you up here for a moment with this while I check on another patient next door." She gave him a clipboard with a questionnaire and offered him a pen. He took both and nodded, knowing a stomach cramp probably didn't compare to someone in nearby room suffering blood loose or in some condition like Lawr had been just recently.
"I'll be back with some followup questions to see if we can't figure what's going on." She said sweetly.
"Thanks." He said, and watched her go before starting to fill out squares.
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 5:10 am
Lawrence shook his head."It is not pleasant." And it wasn't, always feeling on the edge of stopping, of giving up on everything and vanishing from the world entirely.
He gave Melvin a curious look as he was handed a clipboard. "No one knows what they are doing in here." he said critically. "And it's always so petty. You are frankly lucky you don't work many infirmary shifts."
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 5:25 am
He worked down the basics of his name, past smoking and drug history and started marking off sexual history. The more he wrote, the more nothing stood out. He hasn't been on a recent mission. His sexual activity was safe and the same as it had been. He drank the same things, ate the same things, and stayed clear of anything suspicious. He hadn't been at the greenhouse recently either. He wrote when his symptoms started and how severe and set the clipboard down beside him.
"I like the Infirmary shifts. I feel like I'm doing some good. I do like Runicing but I feel more like a mechanic or science tech then helping anyone. It's helping the war than just people. But at least I can do something than just being useless and hurting people more."
He took off his googles a moment and rubbed his eye from strain. "Do you feel less like your slipping away now that you're not faking being Jan?"
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