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"One of these days you're going to run out," and Jordan took the glass back, taking the remaining few drops of liquor. "We all are. Guess it won't make that much different, for most."

"I made some pretty dubious fashion choices in the 90s. In my defense, though, most kids make dubious fashion choices." He leaned on his elbows on the table and quirked a smile. "It's a good thing the coats are well made, as much abuse as we put them through."

He swirled the ice in the glass, watching and listening to it clink against the sides. "Just wanted some more space, and it'd be a good project to keep busy with, you know? I don't know where yet or anything." A small shrug. "If enough of us build something, maybe we can get something rolling, something else to do besides inter-division sniping. Also, less muffled yelling through the walls after midnight." He didn't sound entirely convinced, perhaps talking himself into it as much as explaining his motives.

"Making up for lost time," Jordan nodded. "I got more secondhand stuff after we went to live with my aunt. I was old enough to pick my own then, though." He half-shrugged. "I liked those layered hooded shirts and s**t."

"The bar's a good thing. I think pretty much everyone's here once in a while, at least," he said. He didn't have much of an argument for the rest of it; Rep tended to be aggressive and stir things up, and to ignore or deny the negative consequences those traits reaped would be willfully ignorant and would insult Rep's intelligence. Sometimes Jordan thought that the disagreements and outright fights Rep caused must satisfy some hidden need for his - not his lover any more, he had no more right to that title, and wishing things had worked out otherwise was both selfish and unreasonable, after he'd so thoroughly failed to earn it. Friend; they were still friends. "That's a contribution in itself."

His glass was empty. He looked out across the bar to catch the eye of the kid who was doing serving tonight. At some point, he realized, he'd started thinking of trainees as kids, even though some of them weren't that much younger at all.

"Thought you liked being naked," Jordan said, quirking a small smile.

"Where would you build something, if you were going to build something?" he asked. It was mostly just an extension of the conversation. It hadn't really occurred to him before that Rep might want to have a place separate from the bar, not when there was some living space in the building; he'd meant to offer the idea, had expected it to be a surprise. "Around here, or somewhere else, to get a break from it?"

Maybe the hoard was Rep's escape, still, he thought, and looked away. He had never felt welcome there anyway.

"Oh, I see," Jordan said. "Can't have too many wandering eyes, that makes sense."

He looked silently at Rep for a long moment. "You wouldn't ever have wanted ... ?" There was a strange look in his eyes, a kind of tired disappointment. He had given the idea up, but the thought that it had been impossible to begin with was still depressing.

"It matters what you want," Jordan answered, quiet and serious. "It matters."

"I'm still going to look for a house," Jordan said, with a small sigh. "Even if she's not pushing to get a community started any more. Guess we're a bunch of antisocial people." He didn't comment on Taym; he'd held a lasting and bitter dislike for the man by the end, but he had sympathy for America, for the depth of her loss and the ragged edges of her emotions. He wasn't at all sure he'd do any better, given a similar situation.

He lifted a hand as Rep stood, reaching to brush his arm but not to hold him back. "Hey," he said. I miss you, I wanted, I want. I can't give it to you. Don't go. Don't give up. "Thanks," he said instead, not entirely sure what he was saying it for, but meaning it anyway.

Jordan didn't try further to stop Rep from leaving; the conversation was stilted, too full of all the things they were avoiding and too awkward. Maybe it had been a mistake to come down to the bar tonight. He didn't really feel like being drunk tonight, he decided, and got up also, turning toward the door. "I'll see you later, then," he said. He wouldn't avoid the bar forever, but maybe for a while longer. Just until it wasn't so raw, just until it didn't hurt so much to see them.