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Bishoujo-senshi Mahou-shoujo
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 Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2016 7:09 pm
Skye Starrfyre You don't have to cut it out! It's good to leave in as a visual effect, but I'd just make note that it is magical. Like "Beta pulls a glimmering, magical card containing the image of a hare out of thin air. Beta blows on the image and it disappears, summoning a hare next to her..." and so on. That way people get to picture your magical attack as it happens, if that makes any sense? I don't believe it is. Or at least it wasn't originally, in the event it's changed. I think as long as it isn't an overpowered attack you can use it more than once? You could get clarification on that from an official crit person as well! If you are going to stick with it only being once at the sailor attack, I'd at least bump it up to twice at the super attack. You'll also probably want to note if the hares have any weaknesses, whether or not the attacks can be avoided or if it's just instant damage (anything you note about the attacks is not IC knowledge. It is OOC until the attack takes place and whoever Beta is fighting experiences it first hand, so listing that information only helps people understand how to plot out a battle with you, vs giving everything away). I will place usage limits in. Maybe you can avoid being bitten if you are quick or have a weapon that could knock the hare away?
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2016 7:15 pm
There you go! Progress! Sounds good to me.
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Bishoujo-senshi Mahou-shoujo
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2016 7:18 pm
Skye Starrfyre There you go! Progress! Sounds good to me. You have been a great help with this, Skye!
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2016 7:39 pm
You're welcome, and good luck with your quests! If something starts to seem too complicated just step back, ask yourself a few questions and break it all back down into the basics.
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Bishoujo-senshi Mahou-shoujo
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2016 7:46 pm
This will definately help me work out her twin's powers as well.
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Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2016 1:57 pm
Hey Meighei! Hope you are well!
Couple of quick things so we can get Amaryllis stamped for you!
On her civi side:
Under virtues: Strength of body and mind reads more like she is stubborn and that once she had made up her mind, that's it. This is more a flaw than a virtue. Possibly, if this suits her, you could do it more towards how strong her body is, sense to do what she believes is right and for the good of others? A sort of stepping in and playing off her protective nature.
For her senshi side, a couple of things:
If you could please provide a link to her star? <3
On all of them, please be sure to include that the hare is not a real hare! Sadly we can't summon real animals *sad face*
Adding in a line or the wording about it being 'Ethereal' clears that right up!
Base Attack:
How many targets does her hare go after? What is the range someone needs to be in to be attacked by the hare? Does it only go directly in front of her (thus a longer range) or can it attack in a radius? (thus a shorter range). If the rabbit does not hit anything, how long does the magic last?
Also, in your wording for the attack, the final reaction should be up to the targets player. This means in the wording of said attack, it should be something along the lines of ' quickly charges the opponent with enough force to potentially knock them back.". This is done to avoid potential godmodding smile
Also, as this is the base attack, this one should have more uses than your super. Three is great!
Super:
Again Mei, same things I mentioned above! However, your range can be larger than base and your uses a bit less as this should be a more powerful version of the attack above.
Eternal:
How long does this attack last should the caster now use either or both the punches? Sadly, we can't keep the magic going until it's used up!
Also, how much faster and stronger is the caster? It may seem silly but we can't have her moving at a blur or sending people through buildings...though picturing a hulk senshi is interesting...
If you have questions, comments, anything, feel free to reach out to me!
Quote me when you are ready for another look!
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Bishoujo-senshi Mahou-shoujo
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Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2016 4:29 pm
Sirene Naiads Hey Meighei! Hope you are well!
Couple of quick things so we can get Amaryllis stamped for you!
On her civi side:
Under virtues: Strength of body and mind reads more like she is stubborn and that once she had made up her mind, that's it. This is more a flaw than a virtue. Possibly, if this suits her, you could do it more towards how strong her body is, sense to do what she believes is right and for the good of others? A sort of stepping in and playing off her protective nature.
For her senshi side, a couple of things:
If you could please provide a link to her star? <3
On all of them, please be sure to include that the hare is not a real hare! Sadly we can't summon real animals *sad face*
Adding in a line or the wording about it being 'Ethereal' clears that right up!
Base Attack:
How many targets does her hare go after? What is the range someone needs to be in to be attacked by the hare? Does it only go directly in front of her (thus a longer range) or can it attack in a radius? (thus a shorter range). If the rabbit does not hit anything, how long does the magic last?
Also, in your wording for the attack, the final reaction should be up to the targets player. This means in the wording of said attack, it should be something along the lines of ' quickly charges the opponent with enough force to potentially knock them back.". This is done to avoid potential godmodding smile
Also, as this is the base attack, this one should have more uses than your super. Three is great!
Super:
Again Mei, same things I mentioned above! However, your range can be larger than base and your uses a bit less as this should be a more powerful version of the attack above.
Eternal:
How long does this attack last should the caster now use either or both the punches? Sadly, we can't keep the magic going until it's used up!
Also, how much faster and stronger is the caster? It may seem silly but we can't have her moving at a blur or sending people through buildings...though picturing a hulk senshi is interesting...
If you have questions, comments, anything, feel free to reach out to me!
Quote me when you are ready for another look! I changed some things, but had a question as well. How should the eternal attack be worded so that it is clear that she only gets slightly faster and stronger and not anything crazy? Would a percentage be appropriate?
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 10:33 am
So sorry for the wait!
Her civi side looks good with the fix! I still do need a link to the star she is named after though for her powered!
For her powers, 15ft for a basic is a bit too high. Would you be alright with 10ft? Same with Super and bring it down to 15ft. A jump of 10ft is normally for something with eternal but is done case by case. <3
Otherwise those two look good!
For your eternal, the slightly helps as long as you know it is just a touch increased. It still would not put her on pair with a 4th stage but would make her natural boosts from her rank just that much better!
If you make the few adjustments, we can stamp <3
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Bishoujo-senshi Mahou-shoujo
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 11:15 am
Sirene Naiads So sorry for the wait!
Her civi side looks good with the fix! I still do need a link to the star she is named after though for her powered!
For her powers, 15ft for a basic is a bit too high. Would you be alright with 10ft? Same with Super and bring it down to 15ft. A jump of 10ft is normally for something with eternal but is done case by case. <3
Otherwise those two look good!
For your eternal, the slightly helps as long as you know it is just a touch increased. It still would not put her on pair with a 4th stage but would make her natural boosts from her rank just that much better!
If you make the few adjustments, we can stamp <3 The star is Alpha Leporis.
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 11:20 am
Thank you very much!
A GM will be by Shortly!
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Posted: Thu May 12, 2016 2:31 pm
Looks good to me! Have fun!
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