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 Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 8:51 pm
"The one with the stranger, yes." The one who, despite Chel's protests, he was sure had stolen her memories. "Did you remember something else about it?"
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 10:36 pm
"No," she interjected, "After."
She went on to explain in spacey, guarded details about her dream, the vision of his convictions. Recalling that she had asked to marry him. There was a guitar.
By the time she had finished she was running small circles on his hip bone with a thumb, as though it could make what she was saying easier. She didn't remember him, but there had to be optimism in her remembering him at all.
She was quiet upon finished, letting him gather his thoughts as she ran her fingers over his skin like it would satiate the issue.
"I don't know how else t'say it ... I don't know who you are neither, but yer all I got ..." There aren't even silent words now; it's a torrential wave- Don't leave me I'm sorry I'm not trying to hurt you Please Please-
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 11:26 pm
After? He was mildly upset she hadn't mentioned this before, but Owain put it in perspective: the pain, the confusion, the distrust and doubt. She was still Chel, but at the same time she wasn't wholly so; it was a constant itch under his skin, and he couldn't imagine what it felt like for her.
Worse, that it seemed she really did remember one crucial moment, without context or a hint as to why. Jack should have been relieved she remembered it at all, but it was like another twist of the knife; in a way it was more cruel to have her remember yet not be able to reciprocate. These touches, these looks, these unspoken requests: in spite of their semblances of familiarity, all of them stemmed from the unchanged need to not be alone rather than from something affectionate. But then, what was the difference in the end?
(For a moment a wave of impulse threatens to heat up in his chest: to yell at her for putting them in yet another predicament just because she couldn't keep her head down or some other bullshit, to throttle someone else as an acceptable target, to retreat and say this was just too much right now, she should have known, she should have ******** known better--but he masters the impulse and swallows it back down into its darker depths.)
He took a breath and sighed it out; undoubtedly Chel picked up some of that tension at the very least. "Course it's the one where I'm a cheesy piece of s**t," he half said, half grumbled, as he stroked her back in turn. "Well, m'here. Always will be, you know."
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 11:43 pm
It didn't take more than the subtle curl of her body around his legs to know she was scared of a single thought:
I'm hurting people.
The singular thought a person riddled with internal and external scars thought and brought her to her knees. Even without knowing him, without breathing him in like she always did, it wasn't hard to see his hidden thoughts. She should have known better.
"I'm sorry." The same phrase she'd given Gretchen, given Abbi, given Jason (not always in words, but overt in action). She wished she could lay herself thin, a lace that could cover the damage she was doing. She couldn't. That was the bottom line. There was only so much Chel could do.
Irony spread thick in that she was trying to be another person while self assured she was the only one.
"Jack I'm sorry."
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 11:50 pm
He tiredly looked down at her curled body for a moment, and then he tiredly made to pry her off and scoop her up in one tired motion, to not so tiredly hold her close if she didn't object. The side hug on the cot wasn't nearly enough; even if she didn't remember him, at least he could still hold her. At least she still thought him necessary.
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2015 12:13 am
Chel understood, or at least she thought she did. She took the embrace in kind and not only held him, but allowed herself to be held in return. She just wished there was something more to it than a desperate need for survival.
"Always?" she questioned of him. It was a lot to ask. He needed to know what he was accepting.
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2015 9:23 am
He knocked a yes against her back. "I want to marry you, remember? I know what that means."
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2015 10:12 am
She sucked in a small breath and held it for what felt like an enternity until his knock released it onto his skin. It was relieving, having one person on her side even if it was always going to haunt her with guilt that she was hurting him in the process. That her existence hurt others.
Normally Chel could push this guilt aside with the assurance that she loved them and they loved her, but now ...
"Did I really forget everyone?" she said to his backside quietly, cheek pressed on his shoulder. Once again her fingers had begun tracing circles, this time on his shoulder blades.
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2015 5:47 pm
"Not voluntarily," he replied quietly. Perhaps one of many options for punishment given her rebellious nature, but not pursued on purpose. If (When) she got her memories back, there was not doubt Chel would be furious if not absolutely terrified. It was one thing to get controlled and another to have something like memories taken away. What were they without them? (Lost. Afraid. Guarded.) "Tomorrow's my birthday," he said, half of which was almost muffled as he pressed his face to her body. "Could we do something? Nothing demanding, but like a movie or something. I don't have to worry about work too much." Her arranged and trades duties in preparation for a Halloween trip that would never get to happen now, it seemed.
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2015 8:27 pm
She blinked owlishly at the statement. Birthday? His birthday?
"I-" Didn't know? That's why he was saying it. Her hand curled around the back of his head, running it through his hair. "Yeah, yeah s**t."
At least he hadn't witheld it. "Did we have plans? Can we do those?"
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2015 9:58 pm
He held still to let her comb through, the motion achingly familiar and unfamiliar, and simply phrased it as, "I dunno about you, but I'd rather stay in to be honest." Honestly he could have tried to fall asleep right then and there, even if it meant waking up stiff. "I can do the cooking thing too. Or popcorn. Popcorn is safe. Have you ever seen Corpse Bride?"
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2015 10:12 pm
"Anything you want. Anything, really." As though a small payment for the damages.
Corpse Bride? "No, don't think so. S'it a scary movie?" She detached from him, giving him a kiss on the cheek before moving from his lap across the room.
She went to the closet strangely. "Just a sec. I'm wonderin' somethin'..."
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2015 10:15 pm
He'd almost leaned in to try for something a little higher on the ladder than just on the cheek, but he had to stop the automatic impulse. "Nah, it's like Nightmare Before Christmas, stop animation creepy cute," he replied, following her with his gaze. "What're you looking for?"
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2015 10:24 pm
"Sounds cool." She was a little distracted now, rummaging through the closet. It was unused for the most part- Chel didn't really hang things up or have excessive clothing to store. It was more like her junk drawer, a giant junk storage.
Which was why she normally hid things in there, because nobody ever looked. Finally she found what she though it was.
Even if she didn't remember buying them, there was in fact a stash of presents (she assumed they were presents- they were things she would own and they were in the usual hiding spot).
She brought the cardboard box over to the bed and sat it down in front of him, somewhat proud that she'd deduced it. "Treasure~"
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2015 10:42 pm
He didn't know what to say at first when he saw Chel produce a box from the closet, too tired to understand what it was until she plopped it right in front of him. His lips parted and then closed again before he issued a soft scoff.
"You really are a dragon, hoarding like that."
Jack nudged the box towards her. "Tomorrow. S'bad luck to celebrate before the actual date."
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