She was picking through the jewelry with soft interest. Some of it was fairly familiar, crystals reminescent of the ones that decorated her fuku. Others seemed to be a polished silver material, crafted out of the Polarian ore. Lifting a delicate little tiara from the dresser she she inspected it with soft amusement, thought it was quickly replaced when Snowball appeared once more. Quite exhuberently.
Laughing again Polaris shifted to stand, watching him sashay across the room in the purple far. Goodness knew that would be the first thing he would gravitate towards.
The playfulness was nice, the mood cheerful. With all the stress lately preparing for the wedding and returning to patrolling it was nice to just relax. It wouldn't be the end of the world if they didn't find what they'd come looking for after all, the wedding still months away.
"Try on the next one and I'll find you some nice accessories to add to it." She teased as she picked through the drawer, gathering a few things thoughtfully in her hand.
LP
Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2015 11:08 pm
Snowball's tail switched as his ears perked when she was laughing, "Ah, glad to see you still find me amusing." He smiled as he stopped to look at her, "I thought you'd already gotten mad at me. Since you're not letting me be you're fashion adviser anymore."
The look of hurt while playful was still true to his feelings. He nodded softly though as she said try on the next one. "Of course," He walked back into the closet to dig, hanging up the one he had carefully shifting through to see what else was there, pulling out another pausing, was that a glimpse of a chest? He decided it could wait a second he was having fun!
He put on the new cloak, it was teal, had her symbol on it and lined in purple. He pranced out and twirled a bit. "I feel like I could be you're knight now." He said with a proud grin. "Or you're right hand maiden."
Mad at him....? When the words sounded a look of pure confusion crossed her face. Immediately she began pouring through her memory to try and figure out what he was talking about. Had she yelled or snapped at him at some point and not remembered...? Had she been ignoring him with all the crazy stuff going on and offended him?
When the explanation sounded her eyes widened in soft realization. And as he slipped back into the closest to find another thing to try on she looked down at her own hands, fretting. She hadn't realized that something like helping her decide what to wear had been so important to him... And she'd just.. cut him off without explanation. It hadn't even been an entirely concious act on her part and only upon thinking about it now did she realize she had done it and WHY she had done it.
When he stepped out of the closet again, she was waiting for him near the door. Her smile was mild, distracted, as he twirled and joked about being a knight or hand maiden. And as she moved forward holding out a crystal bracelet in one hand and a compass shaped pin in the other.
"I'm so sorry Snowball. I didn't mean to upset you, I was never angry with you at all." Fastening the pin onto the cloak, she looked up to him with a soft frown. "It's just..."
"When you were a cat I never really thought anything of it. Changing in front of you, bathing with you. But then when you..."
"Well now that I see you like this... as a man.. well not even Azzo really sees me in my underwear." She was looking down at his chest now, eye contact avoided as the slightest hints of pink touched her cheeks. Was it any different now? Snowball was the same person he'd always been before he'd ever figured out how to appear in this form. It wasn't like she was afraid he'd objectify her or try anything funny. She couldn't explain the strange shyness.
LP
I'll save the 'other' item for the next set of jewelry ;3
For whenever you want to reference the cloak - unless of course he just brings the whole box out.
Pristine white. It's made of some super soft short fur on the outside and thick fluffy fur on the inside. Around the shoulders a bunch of fancy gold and crystal gems/decor.
Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2015 8:17 am
Snowball's tail twitched softly as she spoke his eyes peering down at her as she apologized but seemed still shy about the prospect when she'd been fine with it before was still confusing and he sighed.
Placing a hand gently under her chin he pulled her gaze up to match his. "I'm still you're adviser, guardian, and companion. While I still don't really understand what's changed, if that's what you feel you must do, you're my princess and I have to accept that."
He paused softly ears twitching, "I'm still the same cat no matter if I'm on two legs or four. Azzo's you're fiance, you're future mate." He added as he continued, "There's a difference between the two of us, and that's what jobs we preform. His is a different type of companionship than mine, including eventually things you're shy about now." He let her chin go as he looked at the pin and the bracelet moving to a mirror to look himself over. "Lovers don't always have to share that type of bond but they often do. If that's what you're worried about I've never expected any of that. I won't take you away from him, or him away from you."
Snowball stilled as he looked at her behind him in the mirror. "If anything I take orders from you, and advise if I feel something maybe putting you or someone else in danger. If need be, or something a silly and trivial as helping you decide what to wear on a date. Again though, I follow your orders so if you no longer desire my help in certain situations I have to accept that."
"You don't have to accept it, because it's not fair." She insisted as she stared up at him, a soft frown keeping her lips tight. "I didn't even realize I was doing it but now that I do..."
Well she'd at least try to make it better. It wasn't as if her fuku covered much more than underwear considering the sheerness of her skirt and collar. And she'd gotten used to that after awhile.
Of course then he began to talk openly and with words that drew an even darker shade of red to her cheeks. Mate. Companionship. Lovers. She'd never even considered that Snowball would ever think of her in a similar way as Azzo - but hearing the confirmation was more embarrasing than relieving. Why had she been so subconciously worried about him seeing her almost naked?? It was a blessing that he stepped away because the look on her face and tightness of her throat was intense.
As he fastened the pin her mind drifted softly to the strangeness of the moment. How very wise and responsible he sounded. It was like he said... an adviser and guardian. A stark difference from the often silly, playful, and even... young cat that had been reunited with her on that fateful day.
"I don't want you to take orders from me." She said softly as she stepped up behind him, her arms wrapping around from behind, as she pressed her cheek into the soft pillow of his long and cascading hair. "I appreciate you taking care of me and I'll of course take your advice when it comes to important things. But more than that you're my friend and my family Snowball. I'm sorry I was so inconsiderate."
Shifting to stand in front of him, her arms still loosely gripped around him, she mused softly. "You really were very good at matching shoes with outfits. I look forward to you helping out again. Especially considering how crazy and jumbled my brain is likely to be in the next couple months."
Arms releasing him finally, she reached up with one hand, giving him a playfully light little pinch on the cheek. "And when did you start sounding so stuffy and grown up?"
LP
Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2015 9:53 pm
Snowball's brow lofted as she spoke. He was watching her, but he didn't speak again for a while letting her digest what he'd said, since she obviously hadn't realized. Though her cheeks deepening in their shade of red lead him to a soft sigh.
He was fiddling with the outfit adjusting it properly as he stood there watching her in the mirror as she came up to hug him from behind. He was looking at her with a mild interest as she said he was good at matching shoes, and that she wanted him to continue to help her.
When she pinched his cheek her chuckled a little bit, "That Fiance of yours rubs off on people." He was joking but then he couldn't keep the facade up and started laughing. "Honestly, I hate being the stuffy and grown up one but sometimes someone has to step up and be serious; put things in perspective. I still have a job to do, even if we are more family now than whatever might've been."
He stopped with a sigh, "I just don't want to lose your trust, it felt like I lost it when you shut me out. What if that happens when you're married?" His ears flicked and he shook his head laughing a bit at himself. "Anyways, hey there's a trunk in the closet. Do you want me to try on something else and I bring that with me?" He said as he fashioned the pin and offered it to her. The bracelet however seemed to be a slight favorite of his as he looked at it on his wrist.
Lose her trust? Her heart was breaking. The thought that she'd hurt him that deeply without even realizing it..... And that he was worried that she would shut him out or push him away once her and Azzo were married. What if she did on accident? Even as he began to laugh and try and change the subject she remained still, her fingers grasping the edge of his cloak. "Just talk to me and tell me if you're feeling underapreciated or I'm being insensitive . I won't be mad, I promise." She stared up at him, as if waiting for agreement from him before she'd step back or lessen her gaze.
But finally, her peace said, she did follow him to the next topic, a curious look touching her face. "A trunk? Sure, we can take a peek and see whats inside." If she had multiple closets and dresser draws she couldn't imagine what she'd need to keep in a trunk instead.
"I'll grab you a few more things to put on with the next outfit." She added, making her way back over to the dresser to find something nice for him.
LP
Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2015 11:19 pm
Snowball sighed and pulled her into a hug, as she spoke. "Alright." He said more to soothe her worries than his own. He'd worry about it, if it did happen. His tail swished slowly behind him as she let her hand drop from the cloak.
He nodded, "Yeah I caught the corner of it, I'll bring it out." He said as he swept his way over the floor. Nodding in agreement as she said she'd bring a few more things to try on.
The next outfit he pulled was a pretty blue, he'd already hung the other one up neatly. He was looking at the cloak when he saw a small saturn pin tucked away on the inside where no one else would notice it. He gave a smile and shook his head. "Well I know where you wore this one." He said as he pulled his arm through the sleeves gently and then grabbed the trunk as well settling it on a shoulder, "It seems that you've left an accessory on this one Princess."
Content with his attempt to comfort her Polaris had made her way back to the dresser, picking up a few pieces in her hands to inspect. Bracelets, earrings, hair clips. Gently her fingers trailed through them all, stopping only when she came across something that stood out from the rest of the jewelry in there. A small locket. Lifting it up into the air she peered at it curiously, turning towards the closet only when she heard him speaking again, joking about something he'd found.
Locket in one hand, her other hand blindly grabbed at a hairclip made of crystal that looks like a trail of snowflakes. Making her way towards him she mused curiously, admiring the beautiful blue coat and how it looked against the pure white of his hair. "Ohhh? What did you find?" She was referring both to his tease about an accessory and the trunk, the sight of which caused a soft little twinge of excitement.
"I brought these for you." She added almost as an after thought as she waited for him to set the box so that she could explore.
LP
Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2015 11:55 pm
"A pin from Saturn." He replied as he pulled the cloak with his free hand to show her, finally settling the trunk down with a hum, "Are you sure you don't want me to make sure there's nothing naughty in it first?" He teased softly as he was looking at the items she'd brought with her.
The locket caught his attention and his ears flicked, "May I see that?" He asked curiously fixated for the moment on the tiny trinket. It seemed special to him while he wasn't quite sure what sparked his interest maybe if he held it?
He was seated though next to the trunk on the floor having made sure not to sit upon his tail or the cloak he wore.
A light laugh escaped her as he showed off the stealthily concealed pin, almost certainly a gift from Niflhel or something she had bought or received during some visit to Saturn. She was so amused by the hidden pin, and the mystery behind what it was doing tucked away in there, that when Snowball teased her about checking the box for her he received little more than an vaguely annoyed puff of her cheeks.
At his request and curiousity she was quick to to deposit both the locket and hairpin into his hands before she knelt on the ground next to him, fiddling with the latches on the trunk. Luckily there was no lock and the old hinges offered only a momentary pressure before finally swinging open.
The wooden trunk seemed normal enough from the outside, nothing elaborate or exciting, but as it opened the interior was lined with a beautiful purple silk-like fabric. Folded and tucked away within it was something white, nestled underneath a small collection of papers. It only took a moment to recognize the seal on the outside of each one and Polaris picked them up with a smile, opening and looking them over despite knowing she'd likely be unable to read them. Fingers trailing over the ancient ink with beautiful and deliberate pen strokes, she glanced at each one momentarily before gently settling them all aside to see what was underneath them.
The item, as pristine white as freshly fallen snow, was incredibly soft beneath her fingertips. With delicate care she extracted the extravagent fur. The body of it was soft, seemingly made of a white sable like fur, while the edges and interior sported an equally soft but far more plush fur. It was simple in it's beauty and perfection, not needing any special embroidery or decor to impress. The sole decoration was a ribbon wrapped around at the shoulder that helped to secure the cloak. A soft teal silk carefully decorated in gold and gems. And as Polaris pulled the cloak closer to herself in soft inspection the memories began to tug at the back of her mind.
"Isn't it gorgeous?" Polaris crooned, pressing the cloak happily to her chest.
"Why do you even have that...?" The cat asked from his perch on her bed, wearily eyeing the cloak. Though unique, it wasn't hard to recognize what it was she was holding. The two had been to enough weddings and ceremonies for important citizens of the star to know what traditional Polarian wedding cloaks looked like.
"Oh well...." A characteristically mischevious look had crossed the face of the young senshi, as she held the cloak out, giving a twirl that made the delicate fur billow out around her. "Well Niflhel's been acting a little bit weird lately so I figured it couldn't hurt to be ready just in case." She was practically glowing as she fastened the cloak around her shoulders to test it, before she began strutting across the room as if she were walking down the aisle.
"Who... who did you have make that..?" The Guardian's eyes watched her, trying to still the worry in his voice. She had always been impulsive. It was perhaps that impulsivity that had gotten her into her little whirlwind romance with the knight of Saturn. She was such a handful, but truly she couldn't have been that naive and careless...
"Huh?" Shaking her head a little, sending a flurry of ivory curls cascading down her back, she laughed. "Oh don't be such a worrier. I didn't go to the tailors or anything. Silah made it for me during her free time." Silah.. the young maid that had been working for Polaris almost since their childhood. It was one of Polaris few friends and gossip partners among the staff that she often found herself surrounded in. "I mean how embarrasing would it be if word got around that I was having one of these made before he'd even asked me?" Because surely he would. Eventually.
Polaris, taken in by the memory playing in her head was grinning, a stupidly pleased and contented smile as her fingers pulled the cloak towards her chest.
Until the thought suddenly hit her. Had they... been married in the past? Surely if they had she'd have seen some sign by now. The happy couple... children... a wedding ring. The visions she'd had of her later years never gave any clue to that, in fact.. the elder Polaris of the past had often seemed... sad. Regal, refined, and responsible but somehow lacking the spark of life and joy that her younger ghost always seemed to carry along with her. She could still remember the vision she'd seen of herself tucked away in her room, looking over old notes amid teary eyes.
Had something... happened to Niflhel in the past...?
LP
Have a happy memory Polaris, because you're not going to like the next one >3
Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 7:57 am
Snowball was taken by the item but not so much so, as he turned over the locket in his hands that he didn't notice the silly grin on Polaris' face, it was a fairly unmistakable grin like that of someone in love. He glanced at the letters. " . . . Soooooooo, what is that?" He asked having drawled the so out.
His tail twitched looking at her as he fastened the hair pin in his own hair. The locket however was held protectively until he would have a second to finish inspecting it, though it felt as if there was maybe some sort of lingering magic to it. He hadn't even opened the silly little thing yet.
"Exactly what we were looking for..." She mused when he drawled, her fingers gripping the cloak possessively for a moment before she stood, unfolding and carefully shaking the fur to let it take it's full shape. "A traditional Polarian wedding cloak, made especially for me."
"I mean I know we came looking for something like this but... This is almost too perfect to be true, I can't believe we found it." She gushed happily. Bride to be luck she supposed.
"Would you let me see the pin?" Holding her hand out lightly she smiled, wondering if she could work it into the outfit somehow. Something of hers and something of his - a special trinket from each of their homes. It seemed like an absolutely perfect way to honor both of their homeworlds and connect the two together in powered wedding bliss.
LP
Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 8:29 am
Snowball's ears twitched, "That's awful convenient . . . " He said almost thoughtfully as he watched her holding the cloak fairly possessively.
He shifted a bit he started to chuckle a little nodding as he softly undid the Saturn pin offering it to her, the locket all but forgotten as she continued on her daydream like happiness. Somehow he felt something was off, maybe it was just the left over magic in the trinket?
He was curious about and wanting to figure out what had happened to allow it to keep left over magic in it . . .
"I guess I'm just a very lucky bride to be." She mused playfully. "With a fiancee, a guardian, a knight, and a whole star spoiling me with everything I want and need for the special day..."
She accepted the pin from him, turning it over in her hand a she inspected it more carefully. It almost looked like one of the ones from his uniform, versus some trinket she might pick up from a store on Saturn.
Turning towards the mirror she held the pin up against the cloak, as if trying to find a place that it would look good. Her attention quickly faded from the mirror though, drawn away as another memory began to play in the back of her head.
She didn't want to be here.
It wasn't like every other time she'd been to Saturn before filled with excitement and levity, happy to visit her lover or simply just be away from her star on a mission less mundane the usual daily drudgery.
No today her feelings were entirely different. The flutter of nervousness in her chest, her stomach churning with worry and unhappiness. She literally felt as if she was going to be sick and had felt that way since the moment she'd set up this particular meeting with Niflhel.
And for awhile she tried to act normal, a vain attempt to enjoy at least a few moments of what could possibly be their final meeting. But it was impossible to keep up the facade for very long with such heavy thoughts on the back of her mind, and not long into their walk her fingers had wrapped around his, squeezing his hand with a tightness that expressed her fear, even as her words sounded.
It was only because they had been rehearsed with her Guardian before that they came out as unwavering as they did. "I love you Niflhel, but I don't think we can do this anymore. That we should do it anymore..." Words, placed in her head by a guardian that had just been trying to do what was best for her.
The shock on his face was like a stab to her heart.
Even from the beginning he'd always been fairly giving in their relationship. Certainly he had his moments, but for the most part when she asked anything of him he was happy to comply. This was one situation where she wished he wouldn't however, and it was hard to keep from breaking down as he gently fought against her words. "Polaris, are you sure? I know we both have different paths but surely we could make it work?"
It took of her strength not to sob, not to simply turn on her words and agree with him. But thankfully Snowball was there, the strict severity of his voice causing her to jolt with surprise. He had the strength to say what she could not. To protect Niflhel, even if that protection meant she had to give him up forever.
***
Darkness surrounding her as she sat beneath a familar willow tree in the tranquil silence of the graveyard. It'd been hours since they'd spoken at the fountain and now she waited, eyes staring out at the stars as a heavy sigh shook through her.
She had done what she was supposed to. Tried to break it off, a relationship that could never truly work, not with the stiffness of her home and the duties they each were meant to uphold. But deep within her heart she couldn't help but feel a mild spark of hope. That Niflhel wouldn't let her say no. That they'd decide to attack this like the reckless young lovers they were. In her mind she could see it, her handsome and poetic lover coming to her, grasping her in his arms and refusing to let her go. His lips passionate on hers as he insisted that he could not live without her and that they should simply run away together. Shirk all of their responsibilities, forget who they were and where they came from just to be together, their love the only thing necessary to sustain them.
Lost in these thoughts she gasped a little when he finally appeared before her with his sweet greeting, quickly intwining her fingers within his, accepting his kiss with great need as she waited to hear the words she wanted to. But the words she wanted did not come.
"I'm so, so sorry. we just. . . we need to end this. We have to agree, for the good of both of our worlds. I love you more than you could ever know. I don't want you to go but our missions are two different things. Please Polaris, please, I can't bear to do this alone."
The shock was apparent on her face, her hand squeezing his tightly as she tried to force words from her throat. "Niflhel." She squeaked finally. No, no no! Her head screamed. This wasn't how this was supposed to happen. It wasn't what she wanted. Her heart had stopped, she was quite certain, and that was why her chest hurt so much now. But she wasn't entirely deaf to his words and to the wisdom behind his words. And the words Snowball had been whispering in her ear for days. In the end it was his words, his soft begging that he couldn't do it alone that kept her from protesting.
It took all the strength she had not to protest, so she could not stop the sobs that overtook her as she sank into his chest. She was being selfish and they were both right. It need to end. So that her star and Niflhel would be safe.
"I'll never love anyone like I loved you Niflhel." She sobbed as she crawled into his lap, pressing her lips against his even as tears poured down her cheeks. "I'll love you and be only yours forever, even if we can't be together." But she wanted to be together with him now, needed to be, just for a little bit longer. Before she could be brave and give him up. Her tears had tainted their kisses with salt as her fingers pressed beneath his shirt, needing to feel the softness of his skin against hers once more.
***
The hints of dawn's light touched the graveyard as the two stood together, clothed once more, though the time that had passed had not dried their eyes. Carefully unfastening one of the sets of crystals from her hair she offered it out to him, placing it gently into his hand and he in turn did the same, offering one of his pins to her. Their hands lingered on each others for a long moment before finally they turned from each other. Over.
Polaris couldn't bear to look at Snowball, or back towards the knight she was leaving behind.
The two memories were so starkly different, the emotions each one sparked like night and day. Polaris realized suddenly, that her breathing had changed and become ragged as her thoughts had drifted, her fingers lifting to feel the wetness of her cheeks.
Making her way over to the bed, she sat down, laying the cloak out as she tried to compose herself.
Had that memory been real...? It felt real and painful. Hard to deny. But... why hadn't she had it before? Why had such an important and terrible memory been tucked away all this time?
