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 Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2015 3:35 pm
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 Augenblick
German, n.
Lit. “in the blink of an eye”; a ‘decisive moment’ in time that is fleeting,
yet momentously eventful and incredibly significant.
August 11th, 2015
Ian let out a heavy sigh as he locked up the store, eyelids heavy with weariness and shoulders slumped. He had no idea why, but today had been an unusually busy day. There were no holidays coming up, but he’d had a lot of customers on top of a big delivery of supplies that needed to be taken care of. Thankfully Bethany had been there to help; otherwise he wasn’t sure what he’d have done. But the day was done, and it was time to relax. Maybe a nice hot shower? His back ached…
As he climbed the stairs to the second floor, rubbing at his neck, he almost tripped over something sitting near the door. A package? He hadn’t ordered anything that he could remember, and Caroline hadn’t warned him that she was expecting anything. But as he bent to pick it up he caught sight of the return address in the corner: Lab 305.
He nearly dropped the package in his frantic scramble to get in the door, not even bothering to take his shoes off. Normally he would have gone to change and get comfortable before opening a package, but this couldn’t wait. His hands trembled as he tore at the packaging tape and pushed back the flaps of cardboard. A briefcase? ”Oh god…”
Quote: Greetings, Ian!
Let me be the first to congratulate you on becoming a Guardian! My name is Zeke, and I am one of the staff members here at Lab 305. Out of numerous applications to our program, we felt that you were best fitted to become the newest addition to our family! So welcome and congratulations!
In this briefcase you will find your Soul Glass, Fel Essence, and a couple of documents - one of which needs your signature and must be returned to the Lab with your Glass and Essence upon your capture of a soul. The other is a list of contact information of every Guardian and Raevan pairing in the Lab. I've taken the liberty of highlighting the names of staff for you, but you will find us at the top of the first sheet!
I know this must be rather surprising for you, so before I go any further let me just state that if you have any questions at any time, please feel free to call, text, or email me and I will be more than happy to provide answers or guidance in general. That being said, let's get on with the show!
As I wrote above, you will find your Soul Glass and Fel Essence inside the briefcase. You are the Guardian to the Parasitic Cherry Blossoms Essence, which has already been written down on the legal documents you will have to date and sign. Your Soul Glass is that big glass and metal contraption to the left of your Essence Jar, and will be the thing you need to use in order to help us make your future Raevan. Please take note of the cloth between the metal and glass parts as it is important. Souls have colors and the cloth acts as a limiter and something of a fail-safe so that the bottle will not suck up just anything around it. As yours is two shades of green, it will only activate around things (be they animal, plant, mineral, metal, etc) that fit one or both of those colors.
When you capture a soul, the glass bulb will appear to have a smoke-like gas inside of it. When this happens simply return the filled Glass, the Essence, your signed documents, and the case to the Lab. There is a business card tucked in alongside this note for our carrier service. Contact them when you are ready to return your items and they will pick them up from your home. As soon as we get them back we will begin the process of making them into your Raevan!
Whew! I hope I covered everything well enough in this note as far as what you need to do now that you are a Guardian! If not, and as before, please do not hesitate to get in contact with me. My phone is always on and I'm always happy to talk with members of the Lab family!
Hope to hear from you soon and congratulations again!
Sincerely,
Zeke Farris
P.S. While the Essence is pretty PLEASE be aware that long term exposure to it causes mild to moderate fatigue! I would suggest not handling it for more than an hour at a time and when you're not doing so to keep it inside the case. Please also avoid opening the jar as the glass is there for your protection just as much as the Essence's!
Was this really happening?
The paper rustled in his shaking hand – the other had promptly been planted over his mouth – and he felt as if his heart might push right through his sternum at this rate. Setting the note aside, he quietly went through the other papers that had been included but only partially paid attention to them. The two gleaming bottles were practically screaming for his attention.
"Parasitic Cherry Blossom…" he thought. Zeke’s note had warned him about touching it, so what exactly did it do? He couldn’t resist. Ever so gently, Ian lifted the jar out of its perfectly fitted spot in the grey foam and held it up to the light. It looked unassuming enough, just a small little branch from a cherry tree with a few small pink blooms on it. He knew that cherry blossoms didn’t bloom for long, so would these wilt? He wasn’t sure how he would feel about that. But…given the nature of a Fel Essence, maybe that was different as well. He wished he could set it out on the mantle, but Zeke had also advised to keep it in the case. Oh well… He had to wonder, though, what sort of Raevan could come from an Essence like that. It sounded kind of dark now that he thought about it. What would they eat? What sort of powers would they have? No one could really answer those questions, but he wished he could know nonetheless. He had to prepare for them, after all.
The bottle next to it was round and clear, sort of like a Christmas ornament. Fitting, he supposed, for the childlike glee he felt in his chest. He lifted the Soul Glass and ran his thumb along the soft cloth attached to it. He couldn’t quite tell from the small size of the print, but it almost looked like leaves. Did that mean something too, like the color? Maybe something nature-related? He gave a short laugh at the thought; not only a flower Essence, but a natural soul? He wondered if Zeke or whoever was in charge of assigning Essences to guardians had done that on purpose. Surely it wasn’t just a coincidence.
”Ian? What’s up?” Caroline had just arrived home, dumping her school bag near the door and kicking her sandals off. ”You look like you’ve seen a ghost—“ She stopped when she saw the briefcase, and no doubt the bottle that Ian was holding. Slowly, she wandered over and her mouth split into a bright grin. ”No way!”
Ian laughed softly in disbelief when Caroline’s excitement became plain to see. He put a hand to his forehead as he chuckled, sliding it down to cover his eyes. His smile morphed slightly, the corners of his mouth crumpling. His laughter became tinged with a wobbly sort of sound as he rubbed at his eyes. When he finally removed his hand to help set the bottle back in its place, his eyes were red and watery. Caroline laughed, extending an arm to rub gently at her brother’s shoulder.
Ian drew in a shaky breath and let it out as a sigh. He continued to chuckle very softly, but his brows lifted in the middle and he pulled his lower lip between his teeth as he smiled. He was trying to keep it together, not even entirely sure why he felt like crying. His vision clouded as he looked down at the two pieces of glass and he swallowed against a lump in his throat that was blocking him from voicing his racing thoughts.
Caroline turned to pull him into a tight hug to express her quiet excitement while still letting Ian having his moment. He’d waited so long, so patiently, and now his chance was here.
”I can’t believe it, I…” He swallowed again, letting out a soft bark of laughter at how his voice cracked. ”I’m a guardian.”
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 8:38 pm
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Mokita
Kilivila, n.
Something known by everyone but never discussed openly;
"truth we all know but agree not to talk about."
August 14th & 15th, 2015
A few days later, Ian stared at the two bottles as he sat on the couch. He’d removed them from the silver briefcase they’d been sent in, and now they were displayed on the coffee table in front of him. The way the sunlight hit the glass, and the cherry blossoms inside the essence jar, kept him silent. Caroline was working late on a school project and he was home alone save for Ursula, who had partly squeezed herself into the space between the cushions on the couch beside him. At the moment she looked very much like the couch was blowing a bubble, her feline ears tucked back and eyes narrowed to slits as she basked in the evening sun from the window.
He heaved a sigh as he leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees. He couldn’t believe that they were here, they were his; the fact that he would soon have a Raevan was blowing his mind! He could only imagine what sort of Raevan would come from the cherry blossoms. The soul would play a big role as well, but that in itself presented a problem: what kind of soul should he choose?
The nature of capturing a soul made Ian’s stomach turn. In order to get a soul, after all, it had to be removed from its host. That required…killing something. The very thought of doing that went against all of Ian’s morals, but… It was necessary, so he would have to figure something out. The letter did say that even inanimate things had souls, so perhaps a rock or something? Maybe another plant wouldn’t be the best match, though he did have a lot of access to them. Ian sat back against the couch again and rubbed a hand over his eyes. His head ached, and his body felt heavy. This was a stressful situation, sure, but… should he be this tired?
He glanced at the cherry blossoms, remembering what Zeke had said about them. They drained energy from things around them, right? Maybe… Was it draining him? A flutter of panic bloomed in his chest and he quickly reached for the briefcase to put the jar back. He hesitated with the soul glass, running his thumb over the cloth. Two shades of green… He looked around at all the plants that decorated his home, and though it wouldn’t be bad if the glass took one of their souls, he wasn’t sure what he wanted the soul to be yet. So he ended up placing the round bottle back in its place as well. He wondered if other essences had been like this. He badly wanted to leave it out and look at it, a constant reminder of what would soon be, but it seemed that might be a bad idea. With a sigh, he closed the briefcase and snapped the latch into place again. His headache began to fade almost instantly, and his slouched posture straightened.
Perhaps leaving the jar in the briefcase was the better choice, after all.
The next day, Ian had chosen to drive over to his parents’ home near the edges of Barton Town. He’d called them to let them in on the news, and his mother had insisted on him coming to show them the bottles. Though he was hesitant, this Raevan would essentially be their grandchild. They deserved to be involved in the process, at least vaguely.
Explaining the concept of a Raevan had gone about as well as expected, which is to say not so well. Kieran and Amelia had heard of Lab 305 only through Ian, when he had initially applied for consideration about a year and a half ago. He had never really gone to great lengths to explain Raevans to them, or what would happen if he were accepted, so now he had to make up for lost time. Eventually they seemed to understand, or at the very least had stopped trying to understand completely. Amelia was more concerned with seeing this ‘Fel Essence’ that Ian kept mentioning, and so he removed it from the briefcase. He handed the small jar to her carefully, and her eyes lit up. It was as if she were holding a newborn, but not quite. The Raevan had not truly been ‘born’ yet, after all.
”We shouldn’t handle it for too long. It… The blossoms drain energy to stay alive. That’s why they’re considered a Fel Essence…” he murmured. Kieran frowned, but didn’t say anything as he watched Amelia turn the jar in her hands to look at the blossoms from every angle.
”They do? But I feel fine. And they’re so beautiful… How can you keep them locked away?” The nurse’s brows drew together as she pouted, handing the jar to Kieran. His big hands were gentle as he cradled the glass, but he didn’t go to the length of inspection that Amelia had. Ian could tell from the softening of his father’s eyes, however, that he cared just as deeply. After a moment or two he handed it back to Ian, who placed it back in the open case.
”Well, I had it out yesterday for a while and I got a nasty headache. I could feel it draining me…” He laughed softly. ”It wasn’t anything serious, but I did feel better when I put it away again.” He looked almost forlornly at the blossoms before he closed the briefcase again with a sigh. ”I do wish I could keep them out, though.”
”So what about the other one? It’s empty. Is that the…soul…thing?”
Ian blinked, glancing at the case again. ”Oh, yeah. It’s meant to hold the soul, which is the other half of the Raevan.” He must have frowned, because Amelia reached over to touch his arm gently. ”What’s wrong, sweetie?”
”Well, um… I have to capture a soul, right? So… that means I have to kill something.” The surprise on his parents’ faces was very fitting. He hoped that they would not think badly of him for having to do such a thing. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed and shook his head. ”I have to do it, but… I’m not sure how I can. I have to figure something out. Maybe something will just speak to me…”
Amelia and Kieran were quite for a while as they looked at Ian. He could feel their stares on him, and looked up with a sheepish smile. Amelia took a breath and shrugged. ”Well, honey… Sometimes we have to do tough things in order to do something better. You’ll be creating a life in the end, after all. That’s…not to say that two souls are equal, but…” she trailed off.
”I know what you mean, Mom. Maybe whatever I take the soul from will feel…fulfilled, or at least okay with its soul being used to make a Raevan. I’d like to think so.” He smiled down at the case where the soul glass sat hidden away. Creating a new life would be a pretty good legacy to leave behind.
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Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2015 4:45 pm
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Shinrin-Yoku (森林浴)
Japanese, n.
A visit to the forest for relaxation - a chance to stroll through nature and take in the atmosphere for one's well-being;
lit. "forest bathing"
August 26th, 2015
Ian drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he drove, but the rhythm wasn’t exactly in time with the beat of the music drifting lazily out of the speakers. It was mostly fueled by nerves, which seemed to be eating at him more and more these days. He was excited about the whole process, about the promise of a Raevan that it held, but parts of this were difficult. He had to capture a soul; that required killing something. Somehow he’d never made that connection before, or at least hadn’t thought about it. Perhaps he would get lucky and stumble upon something. He hoped so, because he doubted that he would be able to willingly take something’s life. The whole process was complicated further by the fact that he was limited by the soul bottle’s cloth: the soul had to be one of two shades of green. Caroline had pitched many ideas at him that wouldn’t require killing something…sentient, but none of them had seemed right. Another plant would work, but that seemed like a cop-out to him. Something told him that this should be treated as very important, and that it would just seem right when he stumbled upon the right soul. He figured he would just… know. At least that would take away some of the guess work, right?
Mostly he was just worried about messing this up. The soul made up half of the Raevan, after all! If he got it wrong, he could possibly be at fault for a mismatch. Not that he wouldn’t love them no matter what, but maybe there was some sort of cosmic order to this? Maybe there was a right answer?
His visit with Justin had eased some his anxiety, but the relief didn’t last long. And so here he was, driving toward the outskirts of Barton Town, toward his childhood neighborhood. There was a meadow there – or at least there had been, it could have been leveled by now – that he’d gone to frequently when he was young. Since he couldn’t think of anything else, he figured maybe going back would help him think of something. He hadn’t brought the briefcase today, because even though he was intending to “meditate” on the subject, he just wanted to be there. So all he had were his car and the clothes on his back, and anything in his pockets. He doubted he’d be able to completely put the bottles out of his mind, but at least he was willing to try. He just needed to figure this out, or he’d never make a choice.
The surrounding area looked different now. It was almost completely developed, with a few small shops across the street and a restaurant or two. A lot could happen in twenty or so years. When he was young, this whole area had been trampled paths and trees. It was jarring to see it so starkly different now. If he remembered correctly, a short trek through the trees should bring him to the meadow. But in all honesty, it was likely that it was gone now.
He tried not to hope too much as he stepped over roots and fallen branches. But a few moments’ walking revealed that the meadow was, in fact, still there and as beautiful as ever. Though the summer months had turned the grass a light shade of yellowy green, the flowers remained bright and diverse. Perfect. Ian sighed in relief, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. ”Okay, meadow. Help me out, will you? I’m… feeling kind of lost here.” He settled down in the grass on a gentle slope, staring out over the field. It felt a bit silly to talk to the grass and flowers, but no one was around to hear him. He’d done it multiple times in the past, when trying to make a difficult decision. He could remember feeling conflicted when trying to decide on a college major. Though it was a risk to aim for a botany degree, he’d never been good with chemistry or other subjects that were safer bets for jobs. He was glad he’d stuck with his gut feeling.
The sun was dipping lower in the sky when Ian figured it was time to go home. Caroline would be home from school soon, and she would be too tired to fix dinner. Not to mention Ursula would be looking for some attention and her dinner as well. Ian knew all too well not to keep the chimera waiting. As he got to his feet, he caught sight of something across the field; no, someone. He couldn’t see clearly this far away, even with his contacts, but it looked like a girl. He could tell that she was looking right back at him, the lighter blob that he assumed was her face turned toward him. She was gone just as quickly as she’d appeared, but she didn’t walk away. Ian thought he might just be seeing things, because it had looked like she’d…blown away on the wind. But that was impossible, right?
He turned around to head back to his car and cried out in surprise. ”Ah!” It was the girl! She was there, standing right in front of him. ”H-how… You were just—“ He glanced back at the other side of the meadow, but spun back around when she giggled softly. Was she just messing with him?
”I was just what?” She tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes with a smile. Oh she was definitely messing with him. Either that or he was seeing things and losing time without even realizing it. The former seemed much more likely. The young woman – he could see now she wasn’t any younger than her early twenties maybe, probably around Caroline’s age – moved around him in a circle. She was dressed a bit strangely, wrapped in draped linens and covered in flowers of all kinds. He knew that flower crowns were trending right now, but this girl had them woven into her hair, fluttering on her eyelashes, wound all around her arms and dress. This was taking a trend a little far, wasn’t it? She looked beautiful, but this wasn’t very practical.
”Um… What’s your name? I’m Ian.” He offered her a smile, but it was a little uneasy. He didn’t figure she was a threat, but this whole situation was a little strange.
”You look familiar.” Stopping in front of him again, she stood on her toes to get a closer look at his face. Recognition dawned on hers and she grinned, reaching to poke him gently in the stomach. ”Oh, it’s you! You used to come here years ago, right?” When she was so close to him, Ian could see her eyes; they were a brilliant green, with flecks of gold and all sorts of unnatural colors in them. He was beginning to suspect she might not be human. That was a perfectly logical thing in Gaia, right? There were elves and vampires and all sorts of races here. But he’d never met anyone like her before.
”What? How… How did you know that?” He didn’t recognize her, but… Oddly enough, he did feel a sense of familiarity when he looked at her. How could that make sense if he was also certain he’d never met her before? ”Did you come her when you were a kid too? But… You’d have to have been really young…”
She laughed at him again, the sound light and airy as she put a hand to her throat. ”Oh, you’re funny! I’ve been here for decades – maybe a century? I lost track a long time ago,” she sighed. She turned and wandered away, flipping her hair over her shoulder. As Ian watched, he could swear he saw new flowers bloom with the movement and petals float away.
”Wait, what? De… A century?” But before he could ask for an explanation, she turned to look at him with a knowing smile. He just gaped at her as the wind started to blow.
”Come back and see me again, Ian.” With that she was gone, blown away on the wind in a cloud of petals and blades of grass.
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Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2015 7:47 pm
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Kaajhuab
Hmong, n.
The first light that melts away the morning mist; lit. “light fog”
September 1st, 2015
He’d been reluctant to return to the meadow, but ultimately curiosity pulled him back in. The young woman – the nymph; he’d looked it up after returning home that night – had told him to come visit her again after all, and never showing up would be rude. That’s what he told himself anyway. So, Ian was currently on his way to the meadow again, lunch packed in a small bag on the passenger’s seat. The sun was out but there were quite a few clouds in the sky, just the perfect temperature as summer drew to a close. It was as if fate itself was telling him today was the perfect day to pay the nymph another visit.
Soon enough he was settled in the field on the same gentle slope he’d sat on during his last visit, waiting. Would she even show up? If she didn’t, he’d just be sitting here all alone like an idiot. Ian sighed, running a hand through his curls and looking around. He was quite a ways from the other end of the meadow, but he could still see the tree line and hoped he’d be able to see her if she showed.
”Hello again.”
The sudden voice at his side made Ian jump nearly half a foot off the ground, and he toppled over to the side. The nymph bubbled with soft laughter, seating herself beside him on the small blanket he’d brought to keep his pants clean of dirt. ”My, you’re certainly a jumpy one, aren’t you? I’m sorry if I scared you.”
Ian clutched at his chest as he sat back up, heaving a long sigh. ”I-It’s okay. I’m… I’m glad you showed up.” The nymph raised her eyebrows at that, one slightly higher than the other. ”I was afraid you’d be mad I took so long to come back…”
”Well… I have to admit I was wondering if you’d ignored me or I’d spooked you.” She ran her hand through the grass beside the blanket, a swath of wildflowers popping up in its wake. Ian gaped in awe, glancing between her face and the newly-bloomed flowers. ”But I’m glad you came back! It’s been ages since I’ve had a proper visitor.” She beamed happily at him, bringing her shoulders up before relaxing again.
”Y-Yeah…” He glanced at the small bag of food he’d brought for lunch, and cleared his throat. ”I um… I brought food. You’re welcome to have some, if you like.” He started pulling things out of the bag: two sandwiches, two bottles of water, an orange, an apple, and two bags of potato chips. The nymph looked at it all curiously, before plucking the apple off the blanket with a smile.
”Thank you! You’re very sweet. I don’t normally eat human food, but fruit is delicious!” She took a big bite of the apple with a laugh. Ian just watched in silence for a moment, before realizing he was staring and focusing on a sandwich instead.
”So um… Last time, you mentioned that you remembered me. From… when I was young?” He glanced at her curiously, but a bit anxiously as well. He knew that he was a little dorky as a kid, as many people likely were, but he hoped he’d made a good impression on her back then.
The nymph nodded as she chewed, waving the apple around as she waiting until she could talk. ”Of course! You came here so often back then. But it’s been a long time, hasn’t it? What’ve you been doing?” She looked at him expectantly, as if she were offended he’d gone so many years without returning. But before he could respond, she spoke again. ”Well-- I sort of remember you. Lots of kids played here, but you do look familiar.”
”Yeah… Well, um… I got older and went away to college. That’s… like high school but harder.” He didn’t know if she’d understand what school was, but from the sound of things she’d been around a long time. Surely she knew about education? ”And… Now I live on the other side of town. I own a flower shop, too. Flowers, seeds, saplings, tools…” He smiled as he talked.
”Oh, yes, I remember now! You were so conflicted when you were younger. You… wanted to go to school for plants, right? But you wondered if you should do something more stable.” Ian blinked owlishly at her; she remembered that? He supposed he could have sat here and wondered aloud about his indecision when he was younger… ”I’m so glad to hear you followed your passion!”
He just stared at her in awe. It had been nearly 15 years since he’d been here, easily; how could she have remembered those things? ”Yeah… Me, too.”
An hour or two and countless conversation topics later, it was time for Ian to head home. He packed up the remnants of his lunch, hesitating. ”Is it… Is it alright if I come back to visit you again… I’m sorry, I don’t think I caught your name.”
The nymph brightened, waving a hand. ”Of course! And it’s Antheia. I’d love for you to come back! I don’t get many visitors these days, what with all the development nearby.” She glanced toward the trees, her normally cheerful expression taking on a touch of worry. But it was gone soon enough and she flashed another bright smile. Standing up, she brushed off her dress and flipped her hair over her shoulder. ”Don’t take so long this time, okay? I get lonely here all by myself.”
Ian stared up at her, rolling up the blanket messily. ”Uh… sure. Sorry. Um… Take care, then.” He stood up and smiled, offering an awkward wave before turning toward the trees. When he glanced over his shoulder, Anthea flashed him a mischievous smile before dissolving into a cloud of petals. Ian stared for a moment as they swirled and floated away on a breeze, before taking a deep breath and heading back to his car. This was all so very overwhelming!
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2015 11:00 pm
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Lakas Ng Loob
Filipino, n.
A person’s inner strength; the quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face struggle,
pain, difficulty, and uncertainty with courage and without fear.
September 7th, 2015
The following week, Ian had decided to take advantage of the national holiday to go visit Antheia again. He was eager to talk with her again, but wasn’t entirely sure what they would discuss. Her life as a nymph? How much of the world did she understand, being confined to a meadow for at least a century? Having such a long life, such a significant existence, seemed very stressful to Ian. How many friends and loved ones had she watched die?
As he turned onto the unpaved road that led to the meadow, Ian pushed his foot down firmly on the brakes. There was a sign near the trees, large and yellow and glaring among the green backdrop.
COMING SOON:
EAST BARTON OUTLETS
Construction Begins Sept. 12, 8 AM
Construction? Were they… They were going to bulldoze the meadow? ”Oh no…” What did that mean for Antheia? Would she be able to move? He rushed into the trees, nearly tripping over his feet as he climbed out of the car.
Antheia looked down at the flowers for a moment before sighing, turning her eyes skyward. ”I knew it would happen sooner or later. I just didn’t think it would be this soon…” She smiled dryly at Ian when she glanced at him over her shoulder. ”I have to say, though: I’m a bit surprised they left this meadow alone for so long. I was hoping it was a protected area or something.”
Ian looked at her sadly, finding his throat thick and tight. Eventually he was able to speak and ask a question he dreaded the answer to. ”Will you be able to stay? Could you survive that, even?” The thought of Antheia dying made his blood run cold. He felt connected to her, as if he’d known her his entire life. He had, in a way, even without realizing it. But perhaps there was a chance she could stay?
Antheia let out a soft, humorless laugh. ”Most likely not. A tree or two is not enough to keep me alive. Judging from the surrounding development, I… I doubt they will leave much more than that and a small patch of grass.”
Clenching his jaw, Ian looked out at the meadow. To think that in a week’s time this would all be gone, replaced with a flat expanse of dirt and eventually asphalt, broke his heart. He’d received so much guidance and relief from this place, from Antheia. His hazel green eyes stung with tears and he took a deep breath to calm himself. Antheia was being so strong; but he could sense a bitter sadness underneath her resolute acceptance.
”Is there… Can you move somewhere else? There has to be somewhere you can go.”
Another dry bark of a laugh came from the nymph as she waved her hands through the wild grass. ”Unfortunately, I have to move from field to field. This meadow is surrounded by concrete and asphalt, which leaves no way for me to move.” The meadow erupted in a sea of multicolored wildflowers, spreading like a wave. ”Unless by some miracle they leave me enough space, I will die here.” She turned to smile at him, but the warmth of the expression did not reach her eyes. ”But it is all right. I have lived here for a very long time, and I have made this meadow beautiful. Everyone’s time must come.”
Ian carded a hand through his hair and let out another long sigh, swallowing against the painful lump in his throat. He had no idea what to do. There had to be something he could do to stop this, but he had no power. He doubted that the people making the decision to build the outlets would listen to him, and it really would be a convenient addition; he highly doubted anyone else would support his cause. The sense of hopelessness only added to his sorrow, and he rubbed at his eyes as his mouth twisted into a sad grimace.
”I’m sorry, Antheia. Do you… I can be here with you when they come, if you like.” He swallowed thickly, the edges of his vision clouding as he teared up again. Even Antheia finally appeared sad when she glanced at him again. She took a breath and closed her eyes for a moment, before opening them again and staring out at her home.
”I’d like that, Ian. Thank you.”
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Posted: Sat Sep 12, 2015 7:05 pm
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Hiraeth
Welsh, n.
A homesickness for a place you can never return to, a place which maybe never was;
the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your path.
September 12th, 2015
Walking into the meadow that Saturday morning had been like walking into a morgue. The sad weight in Ian’s stomach made him feel sick, and the feeling only got worse when he saw Antheia standing among her life’s work. It was still early, just before 8:00 AM when the construction was set to begin. But it wasn’t the lingering pink glow of sunrise that took Ian’s breath away. It was the work Antheia had done in the week since he’d seen her.
She wasn’t going to make it easy on these workers. The entire field was a sea of multicolored flowers, not all of them native. Now, Ian wasn’t an expert on the exact meanings of certain flowers, but he did consider it a hobby and he recognized some of the many types Antheia had selected for the day. Wolfsbane meant misanthropy; begonias as a warning; edelweiss and borage for courage; marigolds and harebells for grief; magnolias for dignity; and cyclamen as a farewell. If he looked closely, what initially appeared to be baby’s breath was in fact hemlock – death. Antheia was pouring out her feelings, her heartbreak, the only way she knew how. Perhaps she hoped the workers would change their minds. But Ian knew better. They wouldn’t care. It wasn’t their fault, she shouldn’t blame them, but Antheia had no other target for her anger.
Ian glanced down at the large bouquet he held in his hand, gripping the bundle of stems tightly. He’d poured over websites for days to assemble the perfect arrangement for Antheia. He’d used asphodel for his regret, blue periwinkle for their friendship, red and pink carnations, gladiolas for her strength, and purple hyacinths for their sorrow. To top it off, he’d found only the best and greenest oak leaves for her bravery.
“I’m glad you could come, Ian.” Antheia turned to look at him, and Ian could see the tears clouding her eyes already. But she swallowed, blinking them away when she saw the bouquet. “You brought flowers? Of course you would.” She took them when he held them out to her, bringing them close so she could bury her nose in them. Slowly, the flowers woven through her hair and around her body changed to mimic the bouquet. “Thank you, Ian. They’re lovely.”
“Of course. Are you… How are you doing?” He knew it was a pointless question, possibly even rude. But he didn’t know what else to say at this point. Antheia would most likely die here, today, right in front of him. He didn’t know if he was prepared for that. What would happen? How would it happen? Would there be a body left behind? Would she be in pain? Ian felt his throat tighten as he watched her. The low rumble of machinery drew their attention away for a moment, before Antheia heaved a deep, slow sigh.
“I am… sad – at peace, but sad.” He could see the way her jaw tightened as she watched the bright yellow machines lumber into the meadow. It was starting.
“Antheia, will… Will this hurt you?” He glanced at the small crowd of workmen before going back to the nymph again, his brows knitting anxiously. If there was something he could do to lessen her pain, he would do it. In fact… No. Not yet. Not until she consented.
Caroline had suggested it the moment she’d found out about the construction and Antheia’s fate. The idea of capturing Antheia’s soul had occurred to Ian as well, but he’d pushed it away. Something about it seemed wrong, the whole idea of capturing any soul felt wrong, but he’d have to be stupid to pass up that opportunity without considering it. He’d decided to at least give Antheia the power to decide. They’d talked about Lab 305 in the past, about how he had to find a soul and his reluctance to do so, but he had never mentioned that Antheia might be a potential donor.
“Yes, but not in the way that most humans feel pain. It is entirely different. This meadow,” she murmured, touching a tall stalk, “is a part of me. It’s not physically connected, but spiritually. It will be as if... they are tearing my soul apart, from the inside.” Ian’s chest ached at the thought. He had nothing to compare that to, as he wasn’t sure if it was even close to the kind of emotional pain that humans sometimes felt. Somehow it didn’t seem the same. He looked down at the small round shape in his pocket, swallowing thickly against a tight throat. He needed to give her the option.
“Antheia, I told you about capturing a soul, right?” Her curious glance was enough confirmation for him to continue. “I… I would never take advantage of this kind of situation; that’s not why I’m saying this. But I…” He took a breath, feeling his eyes sting. “I can’t help thinking it would give you an opportunity, another way to… to create life again. A legacy, of sorts. One that can’t be torn down and flattened.”
He glanced out at the field and the workers again, where the machines roared to life again. He and Antheia watched as the first bulldozer lowered its jagged shovel to the ground, and he saw the way Antheia straightened to prepare herself. She let no sign of pain show as the beast began its first pass across the meadow, leaving a streak of brown tilled soil in its wake. The only outward sign that she felt anything was the gentle curl of her hands into fists at her sides.
“You want to use my soul to create a Raevan,” she murmured softly, still watching the machines do their job. As he watched, Ian could see her posture soften as more of the field was destroyed. She was quiet for a long time, but when she began to falter on her feet Ian helped her sit beside a tree just out of sight. There were dark circles beneath her eyes, and her skin was looking sallow and pale where once it had glowed with an inner light. Her flowers were beginning to wilt, though their sisters in the bouquet remained vibrant. Ian sat with her the whole time, eventually holding her as the work neared its end.
Antheia had closed her eyes some time ago, her only sign of life the gentle rise and fall of her chest. As the last patch of greenery was ripped to shreds, she finally stirred.
“Ian, I want you to do it. Use my soul.” Her voice was weak, but she looked up at him with a peaceful smile. “Use my soul to create your Raevan.” She held his hand and Ian finally felt the tears in his eyes break free. Carefully so as not to jostle Antheia too much, he pulled the soul glass out of his pocket. “I want to… help create life again.”
“I will. You will, Antheia; I promise.” His voice shook as he carefully placed the round bottle in her hands, keeping it there with his own. “Your soul will make the most beautiful Raevan, Antheia. I promise.”
She looked up at him again and closed her eyes, brows lifting. “Thank you, Ian.” He didn’t watch as the bottle slowly filled with smoke, his face hidden in her faded hair. But he didn’t have long to cry, because soon Antheia’s body faded away. It was replaced with a large swath of flowers in the grass beside him, his bouquet resting on top. As he looked down at them with tear-clouded eyes, he could make out the shapes: sweet peas. A sob tore itself from Ian’s throat as he covered his face with a hand, the other curled tightly around the soul glass. Antheia’s soul swirled peacefully inside, a bright and vibrant green.
"Thank you for a lovely time."
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Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2015 10:56 pm
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Aay'han
Mando'a (Star Wars), n.
The bittersweet perfect moment of mourning and joy – it is remembering those who are lost or gone,
right as you’re celebrating or having the time of your life.
September 13th, 2015
The following morning Ian awoke with a heavy sigh. He’d slept horribly, even if he’d had his eyes closed for at least 8 hours. Judging from the twinge he felt in his back as he sat up, he’d been tossing and turning all night. He wasn’t surprised, but it was regrettable. At least Sundays were his days off and he could sleep late to make up for the low quality.
He wandered out into the living room and let out another sigh as he headed for the coffee maker. On his way to the kitchen he caught sight of the soul bottle sitting on the mantle next to a vase of flowers. It had just felt right to let Antheia be a part of the family, in a sense. The idea of putting her straight into the briefcase felt… cold. She deserved more than that, at least for a while. Eventually he would have to take that big step and put the soul glass into the briefcase next to the cherry blossoms and send it back to the Lab. But today was not that day; he could already feel that it wasn’t time yet. Ian rubbed at his eyes, glasses shoved up above his brows with the motion, and continued on his way to the kitchen. Just looking at her made his chest ache.
He could still feel the way she’d faded away in his arms, dissolving into a swath of flowers. Ian looked at his hands as he waited for the one-cup machine to finish dribbling the coffee into his mug, clenching his fists on the counter. He took off his glasses and set them down so he could rub harder at his eyes, trying to get rid of the mild sting of tears. Logically he knew that he’d only truly known her for a little over two weeks, but his heart told him that he’d known her much longer. She’d seen him through his struggles from afar when he had visited that meadow as a child. She was an old friend, even if he had never spoken to her while young. He’d lost more than just an acquaintance; as far as he was concerned, Antheia had been a family member.
”Ian? Oh right, today’s Sunday.” Caroline came wandering out of her bedroom, fiery hair wild from sleep and eyes heavy as she tried to wake up. She came to join him in the kitchen and he handed her the cup of coffee he’d originally brewed for himself. Another would only take a minute or two. ”Did you sleep at all?”
”Yeah, but not very well. My back is killing me.” Caroline laughed softly at that and teased him about becoming an old man as she headed back to the living room and flopped on the couch. When Ian finally joined her and propped his feet on the coffee table, he could see her looking at the swirling green soul above the fireplace.
”So that’s her? Antheia, right?”
Hearing her name spoken aloud now made his chest tighten. ”Yeah, that’s her. Her soul, anyway.” He sighed softly and sipped his coffee, black and rich and soothing.
They were both quiet for a few minutes, the silence broken up by the dull hum of whatever happened to be on TV. It was some talk show from what Ian could tell, but he was only half watching. He realized he’d taken to staring out the window at the park across the street when Caroline finally spoke again.
”I wish I could have met her. What was she like?” She asked as she pulled her gaze away from the bottle to look at Ian. He didn’t return it, instead taking a deep breath and turning his own eyes down toward his coffee. How was he supposed to describe her? Even such a simple thing as talking about her in the past tense felt strange and wrong. But it was the correct tense to use; even if her soul was still around, Antheia was dead.
”Vibrant. Happy. She was everything I felt when I went there as a kid.” Was that right? It felt right in his mind as he spoke. Caroline’s face didn’t change as he spoke, so he figured she wasn’t confused. ”She was kind and caring, curious about everything outside. She knew some things, but not a lot. Apparently she’d been there for almost a century…” That made Caroline’s brows raise. Ian glanced up at the bottle again, swallowing thickly and tightening his jaw. ”She was Antheia.”
Caroline followed his gaze, letting out a slow breath. ”She sounds amazing. I’m sure she’ll make a wonderful Raevan.” He looked at him again, her expression serious. ”But they won’t be her, right? I mean, they could be sort of like her, but they won’t be her?”
Ian shook his head. ”From what I understand, they’re different. What comes from the soul is more the essence of whatever it was. Like Aadhira, his soul is a peacock. And he’s got some traits from it from what Justin says, but… He’s his own person. But I don’t know about Raevans with more… human-like souls.” Talking about the Raevan that would eventually arrive lifted his spirits a bit despite his mixed feelings about it.
Caroline appeared to feel the same way, a small smile pulling at her lips. ”I wonder what they’ll be like. Those cherry blossoms, Antheia’s soul…” She ran a hand through her hair.
He actually managed a chuckle, unable to contain the gentle thrill of excitement that flitted in his chest. ”I don’t know. But I can’t wait to meet them.” He was quiet for a moment as he smiled up at Antheia’s rich green swirls. ”I think I should name them after her. At least a middle name.”
Beside him Caroline was quiet for a moment before she nudged Ian’s knee with her bare toes. ”I think that’s a great idea. She deserves to be honored.” She blinked, sipping her coffee and taking a deep breath of the earthy aroma. ”Do you think you’ll tell them about her? I mean, you might have to explain why they’re different than other people they see…”
Ian thought for a moment about that. On one hand, telling a Raevan about who they’d technically been in a past life might introduce some inner conflict and he wanted to avoid that. But on the other hand, if they asked… He felt they deserved to know whatever they wanted about where they came from. ”I’d like to someday. Maybe if they ask about her.”
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Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 12:37 pm
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Itaidoushin (異体同心)
Japanese, n.
Lit. "different body, same mind"; the harmony between different people,
as if having one mind; two persons acting in perfect accord and unity.
December 9th, 2015
Though it had been nice to meet another guardian-in-waiting with similar concerns to his own, Ian was no less anxious and worried about the frei to come. Not to mention there was currently no free bedroom in the apartment. There was no way they could move, and adding onto the building would take an extremely long time – longer than they probably had to prepare for the raevan’s arrival. He had no idea what to do.
So, he was left to discuss the whole thing with Caroline. They’d been living together for a while now, since Caroline had finished her undergraduate years in college, and it would be hard to stop that. Even if she was hardly around because of her work and schooling, he would still miss her hanging around and being there whenever he had a freak-out.
“So… Caroline?” He broached the subject as they were eating their dinner that night and took a breath. She glanced up at him and mumbled an expectant acknowledgment through a mouthful of mashed potatoes. ”So you know the Raevan will eventually be here, and… We don’t have room.” He looked down at his plate and pushed around his pile of potatoes, smearing the gravy through the fluffy mountain range. She hadn’t said anything yet, so he continued. ”I mean obviously I love having you here, and… And I love you, but…”
”But you need my room for them. I get it,” she said after taking a swig of milk. She didn’t sound angry, or even upset, which surprised him. Ian looked up at her curiously, one eyebrow raised slightly. ”Honestly, I’ve been thinking about it since you were accepted. I mean obviously they’re going to need somewhere to sleep, and there are only two bedrooms.” She smiled.
”Yeah, but… I mean, you’ll have to find a new place.” He must have made a really anxious face, because she rolled her eyes and waved her fork dismissively.
”I’m a grad student. I can always find a place, I’ve got plenty of friends in impermanent leases.” She laughed a little. ”If I’m being honest, living with my brother at this age is a little iffy. And since I’ve started thinking about it, I’ve kind of already found a place.”
She already had a place in mind? Though that was extremely easy, he’d doubted it would be that easy. ”You do? With who?”
”Maria and Halie.” She took another eager bite of her food and shrugged a shoulder. ”Their lease is almost up and Jessica is moving in with her boyfriend, so they’re short a roommate. They wanna renew but they can’t afford it without a third person. So… Why not me?”
”Wh… Th-that’s great!” He grinned brightly, food almost entirely forgotten. ”I mean, I’ll miss you and all, but…” He sighed heavily. ”I’m so glad it worked out so easily. I was so afraid you’d be angry.”
”Angry?” Caroline smiled at him and laughed a little as she took another drink. ”It’s sad to leave, yeah, but I understand. You’ve got a baby coming who needs their own room.” She grinned brightly. ”So long as I can visit to see them! I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be an aunt!”
Ian laughed softly at that and nodded as he scooped up a forkful of green beans. ”Of course. I’d be upset if you never visited.”
”But… Even if you’ve got the room situation handled, what about the other stuff? I mean, they need a bed right?” Ian frowned and let out a heavy sigh. ”And like…extra clothes and stuff.”
”Yeah. A twin bed would work right? Since they’re just…a torso.” He laughed. ”But clothes are harder, since we don’t know what they’ll look like.” Caroline laughed as well.
”Yeah. Well… I’m sure we’ve both got some extra clothes they can use until we can go shopping.” She shrugged and took another bite of her dinner. Ian nodded as well and sighed yet again. He’d been doing that a lot lately, he’d noticed. Stress and worry could do that to you, he supposed. But it would all be worth it in the end.
”Yeah. I just hope I can figure it out quickly enough that they’re not uncomfortable.” Caroline reached across the table and patted his hand a couple times, smiling around a mouthful of potato.
”Don’ wurry, ya got me!” She spoke with her mouth full and pulled a silly face, which only made Ian dissolve into a fit of giggles. Something told him that it was all going to work out.
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