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 Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 12:08 am
"Just a few it is, then," said Chance lightly.
He smoothed some of Otto's hair away, then leaned around to peer at Otto. "Do you happen to have a hair tie handy, it'll be easier to cut if I do it in stages, a little at a time. If I just chop it all off at one length, it'll look a bit silly, I think."
Chance put a hand on Otto's shoulder and gave it a little squeeze.
"I'm also sorry he felt the need to resort to name calling," he said, wrinkling his nose distastefully.
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 12:13 am
"Um... maybe.." He rummaged through his pockets, and flinched when Chance mentioned the name calling. Without looking at him directly he handed him a hair elastic. "Yeah.." The name had hurt most.
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 12:18 am
He portioned off part the top part of Otto's hair carefully, and then smoothed out the lower half, making sure it was an even line against the top of his back. Chance slid his fingers through the strands, holding them carefully in place, and gave a soft snip of the scissors.
"...are you worried?" he asked, after a moment. "That others will follow suit in the namecalling?"
It wasn't as though Chance hadn't had his fair share of derogatory insults tossed his way, after all, but he didn't want Otto to have to go through them as well.
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 12:25 am
"No... at least.. I think most of the people here.. are more subtle than Rep. When it comes to that stuff, anyway.." Though he had been worried others would see him differently. He was the same guy. He was... it was just... He couldn't help it. He felt insecure, even if he didn't regret going this route. He was happy with Chance. He was happy not repressing something like this anymore. "So I dunno.. I doubt anyone would say s**t to my face, anyway.."
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 12:31 am
Snip snip. He was very careful, each closing of the scissors only done when Chance was absolutely sure it was in the right place and the length was satisfactory. It was a matter of comfort, after all, since things seemed to be going badly for Otto presently, this had to be right.
"And if they did?" Chance asked, not out of an implication that they would, but out of a quiet curiosity as to what path he would decide to take should the situation arise.
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 12:37 am
"If they did?" He couldn't.. no, he didn't want to imagine. It had already been a horribly difficult path thus far. He didn't want to even imagine any more strife in it. Quiet snipping noises, cleanly clipping off the longer ends of his hair. He could feel some of the falling strands go down his neck, tickling almost distractingly. "I'd just... it'd just hurt. I guess. It'd be like sayin' they can't take me as I am cause of somethin' so little." No one should be allowed to tell him who to like. Tell him how to handle his own body. Right? So why would something like that dictate how people approached him now? "I'd rather people just not like me cause I'm a crab n' stuff. It's forgivable.."
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 12:43 am
He had an urge to hug Otto, but it wasn't a good idea while in the middle of cutting his hair. Chance kept his hands steady, fingers brushing gently, reassuringly against the back of his neck with each careful gesture and movement.
"No one should dislike anyone on the basis of their opinion of how something should be," said Chance quietly. "Unfortunately, there's always going to be someone - in this case, Rep - who feels the need to rebel as soon as his perception of something comes into focus."
He was almost done with the bottom layer, Chance snipping off the final little bit before he reached up and tugged the hair tie loose, stroking his fingers through Otto's hair to smooth it out evenly.
"You haven't turned into a new person, not really," Chance said. "You're just rediscovering who you are, what you like, who you like. If they can't accept that, then they'd have to do a sincere lot of looking in the mirror."
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 12:49 am
Chance was right of course. Otto still somehow felt like backtracking now and then, only because he didn't want to lose the perception others had of him. But he couldn't go back. He didn't want to. He'd be fine, and he knew he would be. Then again, there'd been those who didn't mind, or cheered. But he was pretty sure that Felicia girl was a nut job, anyway. The rest seemed to get off on Rep's confusion. So.. really... He fought the urge to shake his head, since Chance was busy cutting his hair; which felt really nice right now. He just took a breath in, and let it out slowly. It didn't matter. Well, yes it did matter. The things that hurt his feelings did, and that was okay. However, he did fight his mind that tried to lure his thoughts and worries down a daydreamed path of negativity and fear. He didn't really know what people thought. Not at all. But, ultimately.. who mattered more? Onlookers? Or his real friends? "It's okay." He murmured quietly. "I'll be fine."
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 12:54 am
Chance had always been secure in who he was, and what he liked; Otto was not the same. Their experiences were different, because their personalities were different; Chance simply let the insults roll off of him, because that was who he was. Otto, soft-hearted beneath the surface and loving, felt them too deeply.
A soft hum escaped him as he navigated the next section of Otto's hair with careful fingers.
"How do you see yourself right now, Otto?" Chance asked quietly. "What do you see when you look at yourself?"
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 1:00 am
"I'm guessn' you mean deeper than just admirin' my awesome sense of style in the mirror." He tried to sound cheeky about it, even if he felt down as a whole. He crossed his arms around his midsection, feeling a little off on the inside. "I dunno... I don't look at myself too often. Figuratively and otherwise." He murmured. "Not sure I wanna... I worry more about what other people see than my own self."
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 1:05 am
Chance's fingers stilled, the last remnants of his cut hair slipping to the floor. He wasn't quite finished yet, but he lifted his hand and gently smoothed the tips of his fingers over Otto's neck, brushing away a few stray strands that had caught.
"Caring so much about how other people see you is a hard way to live," said Chance quietly. "And I like you the way you are, I like you a hell of a lot just the way you are. It's why I'm here with you now."
He hesitated, then turned his hand around, the backs of his fingers and knuckles sweeping lightly over Otto.
"I want you to like yourself and be comfortable with yourself, but that takes time, I know."
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 1:16 am
He fought his own nerves as they made him tremble. Out of anger. Maybe fear. Probably both. Inadequate and insecure as he felt, he at least had moved past hating himself. He at least didn't want to be anyone but himself, now. There'd been times he'd wished for nothing more than to not be Otto Graves anymore. His journey was slow, however. So slow. And Otto was an impatient young man. "Too much time.." He murmured, finding some solace in the soft and gentle ways Chance touched him; it was enough to keep him from worrying that the other man might fly off somewhere. He was fairly sure his preoccupation with how he was perceived was the biggest wall between being able to see himself clearly. He moulded himself to those perceptions, and used them as a foundation to stand. It was a flawed and shaky tower.
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 1:26 am
He swept his hand up the back of Otto's neck in soft, almost idle gestures, feeling the strain in Otto's body as he struggled with himself. It was not so easy to change, whether it was a viewpoint or oneself, and the struggle was very real and very painstaking for someone like Otto.
Chance's hand came to rest on the crook of Otto's neck where it slid into his shoulder. He bent over and pressed the side of his face to Otto's, silent for a moment, then turned and brushed his lips softly and lightly against his cheek.
"I'll wait for you," he said, and then drew back a little moving to finish the haircut he'd already started.
"You can already crouch on your own two feet," said Chance gently. "Now it's just a matter of finding the balance and strength to stand."
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 1:40 am
He let his eyes close as the soft and reassuring kiss pressed against his cheek. He'd have been a riled up ball of nerves had he gone off to lament on his own. He wasn't okay, but he was better off this way then by himself. At least this time. Maybe all he was doing was delaying the inevitable break down. Maybe not. "Listen to you, Mister Expert.." He mumbled, grumbling. He didn't begrudge Chance's advice. Far from it. "Thanks.." He added after, always worried his snippy attitude might put him off. He didn't want to put him off at all. Everything just hurt. More than he wanted it to. At least with this little hair cut, he could shed a small piece of insecurity.
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 1:44 am
He smiled a little, hands slipping easily through Otto's rapidly shortening locks. "Not an expert," said Chance with a lighthearted laugh, but it was gentle, not condescending. "Just...used to certain things, I suppose. I've always been the way I am, or at least, in some regards. I'm not so sure you'd call it expertise so much as experience."
He picked up the last bit of hair and carefully measured it out, eyes narrowing slightly to determine the proper length.
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