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"You don't have to go," his mother said, her voice trembling. She stood in the doorway of his room as he stuffed items into a bag. In the room she came from, he could hear his younger siblings running around and laughing. Jelanii looked up at his mother, her face seemed much older than he remembered it, like he was seeing her after a long time. Maybe that was true. How long has it been since his mother had met his eyes? How long had it been had he tried to really look at her.

"Do you really want me to stay?" Jelanii asked and his voice was tainted with bitterness.

His mother opened her mouth, but he shook his head, waving her words away.

"Don't answer. Either what you're going to say will be a lie or a truth you don't really believe." He turned back to his packing, gathering up the supplies he had been putting together ever since his people had been freed from the Oban. No more would they be tithe their children away, trading them like animals as if they meant nothing. No more would he stand around and let them.

"Why are you always so harsh. What happened with your sister-"

"Stop!" Jelanii shouted

His mother jumped.

Jelanni took a deep breath and shook his head. "Sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have yelled." As angry as he was with his parents, they were still his parents. But every time they brought up his sister's name he felt a wave of anger so raw flow through him he wanted to lash out, to tear and rip, and break this messed up world they lived in. And yes, they were no longer slaves, but that wouldn't just make them equals. It wouldn't stop the Oban from looking down at them, treating them as lower class. It would stop the raids, or stolen children. They were free, but free to what? To shrink back, to lower their head and thank their betters for the crumbs they deem to throw at them?

His mother brushed her hand over his shoulder. "Jelanii, you can not change the past. If you go after her, there is no guarantee she will be the same girl you knew."

"Girl?" Jelanii said, balling his fist into his bag. "Girl? Not daughter? Not sister? She is our family! Not just some girl. And now she is free. Free to come home, free to live as more than just some offering." He turned to his mother, his face contorted in anguish. "Don't you even want to look for her? To see her face again?"

His mother's eyes grew big and her lips parted, but no words poured out. Instead she looked away and said nothing. And that was how it always was. Nothing. Like Cerith had suddenly vanished from their memories, like she never existed, but Jelanii refused to let them forget. He made them see it, with his sharp angels and cold words. He let it dripped from him, staining their meals and haunting their laughter. He wouldn't allow them to forget it, not even for a moment.

"It doesn't matter if she changed. It doesn't matter if she doesn't know me or even if she hates me," Jelanii said. "I want to see her. She is my sister and that's all that matters."

He turned back to his bag and continued stuffing it. It was nearly overflowing with all the things he gathered. Luckily he also had a clock to put things in. He looked at everything critically, for the moment forgetting about his mother's presence still there, like a shadow pressing against his back.

"Maybe it is good that you are going," his mother said.

Jelanii flinched, but laughed. "Yes. Many people will be happy."

"Yes, they will," his mother said softly.

The words were like a lash on his back, but he supposed he should have expected that. Of course his parents would want him to leave. He had caused so much trouble. He constantly challenged the Elders, taught the younglings to fight back and not accept what the adults told him. He constantly pushed and pulled, never letting up, never letting them be forgiven. Yes, he supposed that they all would want him gone. He swallowed back the bile in his throat, refusing himself to be shaken by how much the words stabbed at him.

"But I am not one of them."

Jelanii's head whipped up. His black hair flying back as he stared at his mother. She was smiling at him, her expression said. When she spoke her voice was strained with a pain he had never heard before.

"You are harsh and reckless with your words. I don't think you are right in how you judge the village or how you judge us, but...You are not completely wrong either. Even your father realizes this, though he refuses to admit it, but I suppose you both can be quite stubborn."

Jelanii looked away. "Don't compare me to him. He's probably glad to be rid of me."

"Perhaps," his mother said. "But I doubt it's for the reason you think it is." She walked over to him and very gently reached out, cupping his face.

Even though Jelanii was taller than her, the position made him feel like a youngling again. "You are filled with so much anger and bitterness, Jelanii. It makes me sad to think we have made you this way, but at the same time you are still so innocent. You have seen part of the ugliness in this world, but it is so much more complicated than what you think. The world can be harsh."

"Then I'll change the world. I'll make it better," he said proudly.

"Such conviction, but too idealistic. The world won't be changed so easily." She rubbed her thumb against his cheek and then slowly pulled her hands away. "I fear it is more likely to change you than the other way around."

"I won't let it," Jelanii said."

His mother sighed softly and then reached out and handed him a pouch. "This will help you with your journey."

Jelanii took the pouch and heard the jingle of coin. His eyes widened. "This is too much!"

"No, it is not nearly enough. Besides it has been yours. We have been saving it for you for a long time."

Jelanii took his words in, wondering just for how long his parents had known he would leave Setal.

"I have never forgotten my daughter, Jelanii," his mother said and her voice was pained. "I see her every time I look at you."

Jelanii felt his heart clenched at her words, but before he could gather himself enough to speak his mother was speaking once more.

"Maybe I am glad you're going, Jelanii," his mother said as she walked through the door. "I think she might be waiting for you. We have all kept her waiting for much too long."

Then his mother left, disappearing into the chaos of his younger siblings. Jelanii stood there for a moment and just for a second he regretted it all. The anger, the sadness, everything, but in the next it was gone, because despite everything, nothing had truly changed. His goal remained the same, even stronger now. This world took the good and corrupted it. Maybe his parents could have been better if they had been allowed to be. Maybe he could have been. But that was then, here, now, he would break this world and reform it into something better than itself.

Jelanii slung his bag over his shoulder and took the first step on his path.