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 Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2015 4:51 pm
Cami couldn't see the concern but that he was moving to get her out the door did have an effect on the hunter. It was almost painful the way her whole body jarred itself into movement, scooping up the bag she'd dropped not minutes before. "No. Thank you." It was almost absent the way she said it and, without context, it sounded harsher than it was. She'd gathered enough of herself to turn and look aghast at what she'd said, taking time to clarify. "I don't know where I'm going. You can't walk me somewhere I don't know yet."
Running away to Mimsy's again felt so stupid. But neither could she invade Maebe's space, which had never been even a little bit her own, or go into the basement. Wistfully she thought of the empty homes that were half-destroyed and how they were only for full Hunters. Maybe...well.
Maybes were for later. Maybe and Maebe's. Standing in front of the closed door her voice was subdued and a little strangled. "Can you open the door please?"
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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2015 4:54 pm
Would she never come back? Would she never talk to him again? She was acting strangely, and he wasn't sure if he ought to be comforting, or give her distance. All he could do was oblige, and open her door. "Lemme know when you found where you're goin'." He murmured. "I don't want you wanderin' without a bed, okay?" "Please?"
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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2015 4:59 pm
Nodding in agreement she lifted her head enough to be human for a moment, to be something other than cold, heavy, and hollow-feeling. "I hope you find what you're looking for, Otto. I want you to be happy." It was important for him to know that. She loved him. She wanted him happy. No matter what.
No matter what.
Tears were already swimming in her eyes as she looked at the door and forced her feet to carry her through it. Out of her home. Her home. God she had to get away from here before she did something crazy and stupid. Something like pounding on the door and howling the way she sometimes did for Maebe. It wouldn't help Otto. It would hurt Otto.
She couldn't hurt Otto. He didn't deserve to be hurt.
The Sun Hunter probably looked stupid hugging a bright purple and blue pillow/blanket lump against her chest as she ran like there was a fire towards the nearest cliff. Not to jump off it, no, that was stupid. Her hunter body wouldn't have died from such a thing and it would just earn her docked pay and possibly some Life Division poking and prodding.
Instead she just sunk down onto her knees at the edge and breathed. Just breathed. Nothing was very important anymore, anyway. She'd just lost her home.
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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2015 5:26 pm
She was gone, and he felt like an a**.
It shouldn't be about him and his happiness and comfort. What comforts did he deserve? Cami had never done any wrong. Cami deserved a place to call home. Stability and comforts. He couldn't give her that, not even if he pretended he could. Taking care of him gave her purpose, but it allowed him to slack in growing and being any kind of self sufficient.
But God. She was in pain. She felt rejected, kicked out.
He closed the door, and the room felt silent and empty. All his belongings felt like they were not his. His walls felt as if they watched him with disgust. He felt terrible. Horrible. He didn't deserve a nice place, even if he'd rightly earned it by his work as a hunter. The treats he'd laid out for Cami lay there still on the table. The spot he'd set for her on the couch. Reminders of his failure to help her. To protect her from her own sadness and her fragile heart.
He never should have let her in. Never should have let anyone in. This here was proof that he was incapable of a relationship and of love. He'd always be too much of a child to bear that responsibility.
He didn't want to touch anything. He didn't want to admit to his failures or accept all that had happened. But he tried. He threw on some music to keep his mind off his thoughts, and began to clean up. He would turn this apartment back into a bachelor pad, and train his mind to stop seeing it as a home for two, or even three.
It was a home of one. Forever and ever.
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