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"Yup, I know, I'm an adult that looks like a young girl. There are many people who questioned about my age, I didn't really upset and Dylon said I should be myself. However, every time I compare myself to other girls on the island, I feel inferior." She honestly told her friend.

She was really happy about them, when she heard what Noemi felt for Milo. On one hand, she was glad that her best friend was that happy even hunter life wasn't easy. On the other hand, she was afraid she would forget her because Milo was the most important in her heart now. She felt ugly for the thought, the selfishness and jealousy. "You are a monster!" Someone said that in the past and like a ten inch nail, it never left her soul.

"I am so happy for you! I am so happy for you and Milo going well!" She said in a slightly cheerful voice, face flushed in pink for the delight. Yet, she stuttered at her question.

"I-I feel happy sometimes hearing about him, but most of the time, here aches when I think about him. I want him to treat me nicer, even just a good friend. I hope he won't view me as a trouble, I-I every time I met him, I only brought him troubles. He was not a bad guy, I promise, or he can leave me there when I fainted......" It felt hard to talk about that person, but when Noemi asked, Shu would tell her all, except his name.

Shu enjoyed staying with her best friend, but sometimes she wondered if she was her best anymore, when Noemi got more friends. More friends that were better than her, friends that really deserved the huntress's kindness and care.

"I wish I could stop thinking about him, I really wish Mimi." Shu sobbed. "But I can't." She then breathed out a soft feeble reply.

"I can't Mimi, I am terribly sorry, it's my fault, not his." Her tears began to drop. "He's having someone with him, and he's happy. Please don't involve him in this, I talked to you because you're my best friend. But-but it's my own problem, not his......It's something I can't control, it's similar to how I love my siblings but it's still different" Her guts twisted together, blaming herself for all of it.

She grabbed on the upper part of Noemi's arm, with a sad face. "Promise me. Promise me, you won't try to find out who he is." She didn't care for the tears that dropped on her clothes, she just needed the affirmation from the huntress. Shu just clawed at Noemi's sleeves like a helpless kitten.

It would be better if she liked someone else, it would be better if she had someone who liked her and maybe she could then let it go. Even though she read many shoujo manga and watched romantic movies, she didn't know what she should do with that emotions - the sour bitter taste without sweetness was never something she enjoyed. She could ship people together, but not her own.

Not knowing what to do, she kept it in the deepest of her heart, locked it up in a chest. She can only watch as vines grew around it and pierced her painfully because she knew it should be chained, closed forever. Thus she allowed it to make her bleed. It was fine because she was the girl that braced up fast, it could stop bleeding until the next attack.

"Not really....I didn't do anything for him or show any affection because I am a coward." It hurt more than anything to see her friend being upset. What's more, the one who made her sad was Shu herself.

The distance was created long time ago, albeit her cheerfulness, the girl thought too much most of the time. She wasn't how she look the day they met, she was afraid she would be pushed away once she knew.

It didn't mean Shu don't trust Noemi, she was too fear to trust herself. Like she said, she was merely a coward.

The petite huntress pulled her friend into a hug and broke into tears, helplessly. "I don't know what to do, I want to tell you so much, believe me. But I am afraid, I don't even know what I'm afraid of...I feel like a total mess right now." The cries were loud and child-like, as if she was a fragile baby couldn't talk but cry. The grab around Noemi's waist tightened sometimes; too soft and barely held sometimes.

Shu was a clumsy girl and it wasn't hard to see the cheerful huntress make a fool of herself. Yet, unlike animals, she didn't allow her internal weaknesses to be seen easily. Because it was Noemi, her best friend that she said it out. Because it was her that she cried for her helplessness.

She couldn't halt her weep, the twitching shoulders reflected her futile effort. She didn't cry for a long while, not restrained quiet sobs but crying. She felt her body was stuffed with tar and asphalt, they stuck inside and didn't come out. Every scream and shout to throw them out was unsuccessful, she wished her nails were sharp enough to rip her open so she could pour it out off her.

The petite Asian was full of imagination, people don't look like them in her mind, sometimes she saw them as animals, sometimes a mass of beautiful colors. Crying, she felt herself a jar, a container. It was full of sticky black substances that no one would love its ugliness. She want to scatter it.

If using words to describe her sensation at that moment, it was like that.

"H-Have you liked someone else before Milo? What I can do? - What I should do with this feeling? I don't look like myself anymore." She asked, muddled and chaotic. "It was nothing like what I saw in manga or romantic stories, it doesn't taste sweet, it's sour, it's bitter, it's everything that you don't want......but you can't control yourself." Subsided her snivels with the comforting strokes, Shu threw it out.

"You're lucky," the girl with swollen eyes smiled, "Grab Milo tightly, it's hard to find someone so nice and you love him." Sniffing, Shu held up a fist to tell Noemi to not letting go of the Sun hunter. "It's okay, it's okay Mimi. It means you never get hurt, you never experience that pain. It's all good, I'm so glad."

Her friend might not help her to solve her problem, but it also meant she didn't need to taste the bitterness and sourness of a having a secret crush on someone. Shu hugged Noemi back and allowed the silence dragged forward. "Mimi. Do you really want to know who he is?"