Welcome to Gaia! ::

There was another long pause and then Taym more or less erupted.

"What the ******** do you want me to do?" he demanded. "Do you have any idea how ******** hard it is for me to sit here and go through the motions of trying to do some good in the world when I've got a bunch of ******** memories taking up room in my head that aren't mine, that consist largely of one hellbent obsession on ruining my daughter's life more than I already managed to by myself? I can't focus. I can't ******** think. I go to sleep thinking about it. I wake up thinking about it. Every ******** night every dream I have is undercut by my weapon sobbing like a goddamned child because she feels like it's her fault she can't give me the information I need to fix it."

His voice was rising, the meekness shed, nothing left but a raging disgust. "I'm not like other people here. I can't ******** look the other way when something's upsetting me. I don't know how. I spent my entire goddamned life trying to outrun my problems and I can't so now I don't know how to ******** leave them alone. You want me back in the field? You want me doing some good? So do I. More than ******** anything. But I can't until I know this has been taken care of, and who is better ******** equipped to do it than me? And then you throw my old division back in my face like that, like I'm toadying around after Caelius and poisoning people's ******** coffee, when I felt like I was coming home to transfer to this one because this is the one where I felt like I could do some good, led by someone I actually respected. How ******** dare you."

"You think I don't ******** know we're at war? I was under the impression that joining up would let my daughter have a few years of blissful ignorance before she had to fight in the same goddamned one--I'm not a ******** fool, I know," he said, and his voice broke barely through the yelling around the admission, "what my daughter is and what her probable future is--and I thought I was giving her that and instead I put her on the front ******** lines. These things are the enemy, they're hurting civilians, they're hurting the people I took this ******** badge on--" with a vicious gesture at his shoulder "--to protect, and they're preying on my daughter. How much ******** upheaval have they caused for her already? You want a ******** war you look me in the eye and tell me my daughter's a less worthy cause than any other. Take your sense of priorities and your low level threats and ******** yourself with them, for all I care."