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 Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 1:27 pm
He was having difficulties separating this past Mintaka with the Mintaka he'd seen in their shared memories; Aurostibite knew his own feelings well enough, but seeing someone as though they had not happened, as though they had not existed a certain way, was not easy. He both knew and did not know Mintaka, and that in and of itself was frustrating.
"Yes," said Aurostibite, and the faintest smile seemed to flash across his lips before it disappeared again as quickly as it had come. "Detective. I have always found Sherlock Holmes to be something of a reassurance for me, so I have kept that close to me."
Mintaka standing in front of him was hard to handle. He steadied himself and leveled a look towards her.
"...I like tea," he said quietly. "I have always liked tea. It is a very comforting thing."
Aurostibite took a small breath, and then he asked, stiffly and awkwardly, "And what about you?"
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Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 4:53 pm
He was talking to her, and that itself was a small accomplishment. She wanted to take his hand, make it a stroll, a casual friendly stroll between two people. But this was not the future, as she kept reminding herself, and he was not bias towards her.
He was still a loyal negaverse lieutenant.
"Reassurance?" She tilted her head, "Do you wish one day to be a detective Aurostibite?"
Her question answered again, made her smile return. Tea, another common interest. Even if small. "I like books too-" She assumed his question carried for both of them, "And am a little ashamed to say that I like very little classic novellas, besides the supernatural ones. Dracula, Frakenstein, Dr. Jeykll and Hyde. I like..." She pursued her lips, "Well it's a guilty pleasure, but comic books. Especially DC and Marvel universes." She ran a hand up her arm, flushing just a little. "And tea is very comforting, almost habitual. One might think I'd have an addiction if they didn't understand that I was raised to drink it like one would milk to grow." She chuckled, suddenly quiet after.
What did she ask him now?
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Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:15 pm
Aurostibite had a terrible, nearly overwhelming desire to reach out to Mintaka, drag her into his arms, and kiss her until they were both dizzy, until they could both forget about everything and only look at each other, the way they had in their memories.
He squashed this desire immediately. Or at least, he tried to.
(He was only half successful, considering half of him was still grounded firmly in the present day while the other half of him kept trying to convince him that those memories, the premonitions, whatever they had been, were true and that he they were meant to be together.)
Aurostibite let out a soft snort of amusement. "When I was a child," he told her, not patronizingly, but somewhat wearily instead. "I had the impression that I'd do well at it. But my duties in the Negaverse take precedence over all else, and I must perform them to the best of my abilities."
It was less a reassurance for her and more a reassurance to himself, since the memories were very strong. And Mintaka was smiling at him - actually smiling, and this made it almost worse, because it was almost harder to look away from that beautiful smile.
"Dracula is a good classic, as is Jekyll and Hyde," Aurostibite said, and there was almost a smile on his face again, the barest hint of one as he added, "I will admit to liking some of the comic books as well. Batman was always a favorite of mine as a child."
There was a moment of quiet silence while they both contemplated each other. Aurostibite took a small breath, and then, before he could stop it, the question rushed out of him, the words tumbling over each other.
"What do you want from me?" And then, in a more desperate tone of voice, "What do you expect from me?"
It was not said in anger, but a frustration instead to try and figure out where they now stood, if she wanted more from him than he could currently give to her.
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Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:48 pm
It was hard not to see what he was thinking, when she had years of memories stuck inside her head of them already. His future self? Not so different from his past, more open, sure. But the expressions, the way he held himself, the comfort and ease in which she could read him confused and frankly terrified her.
And she had been sitting here trying to fight the weirdness, when really, this was suppose to be normal. Her shoulders relaxed, she took a deep breath and she gave up fighting against the feelings. They wouldn't go away, and she'd never spend the time to try and fight them constantly. Especially when she wasn't trying as hard.
Whoever cursed them with these memories, it was a good trick, a great ploy. She would dance to the strings that held her.
"When we are children, is when our desires and dreams are the most sincere." She kept her gaze steady, her form strong, her smile sincere. "They are, granted a little dark, but I suppose I've always enjoyed the different aspects of light and dark together." She hummed softly, "Really? Batman?" Her eyes widened with delight and she instinctually took another step closer, as if to take his hand so she could gush to him about the wonders of the dark knight. Her arm was even raised up to him, and for a brief moment, she wanted to follow through.
Baby steps, even in acceptance, and her smile froze and she stopped at his question, her hand dropping again.
"I don't know...." She answered, but not honestly. "I can't discern these feelings from each other Aurostibite. I can't separate them from here and there, when you are here standing with me. I FEEL like I've known you for 5 years." She sighed, "When in this time, I've only known you twice. My heart is hurting, because my mind is confused." She clenched her hands together, and let out a breath. "I expect nothing more then for you to let me feel the way I feel. I loved you." Her eyes dropped, "I loved you once, and so deep and real...Perhaps it isn't me you should be asking, but I should be asking of you."
she looked up to him again.
"What do you want me to do Aurostibite? What do you expect for me to do?"
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Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 9:55 pm
He didn't know her.
(He knew her.)
He didn't love her.
(He loved her.)
He didn't even like her.
(He liked her more than he'd care to admit.)
Back and forth, back and forth, like two players at a tennis match, his emotions running high. Aurostibite had always prided himself on being able to handle most situations well; he was calm and collected and unwaveringly loyal, his devotion the best part of him, and maybe that was why this was so hard right now - because his desire to remain loyal to both the Negaverse and to Mintaka were at odds with one another.
Even her voice, when she was talking about just something as simple as books, made his heart constrict - and as she stepped closer, Aurostibite froze where he stood, unable to move either forward or back, stuck in place, in this moment.
Everything she said was the same thing he already felt - he felt as though he had known her for a very long time, and that his heart and his head were in pain, and that he had loved her. Hearing that she had loved him was painful, and Aurostibite's heart ached at the sound of it, a visible flinch passing across his face.
His gloved fingers clenched and then unclenched slowly.
"...I don't know either," he said finally, his voice low. "I thought - I thought I would be able to just walk away. I thought I would be able to just turn around and leave, but I can't. Those memories are keeping me here, and I don't know why, but I can't just walk away from them."
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Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 9:57 pm
"I don't want to fight it." She smiled, crooked and small. "I am not a fighter. You know this, you know what I built, what I made, what I respected." She shook her head, "I was maturer, older, wiser, but now I have those feelings, those memories and the realization that I could and would do that." Be neutral, she would still forever be neutral. She would still have friends from all sides. Her lover and brother from negaverse, her best friends from senshi and dark mirror senshi.
She would have a child, between the two of them. One who would grow up knowing that it's parents had come from both walks of life.
She had done that, but only because Aurostibite had been her other half, her partner, her lover, her friend. Everything.
She wanted that now, and it was terrible how it ached there.
"I don't want to fight it, or you." She whispered and she took another step forward, this time actually reaching out to him, reaching out to press fingertips to his shoulder. "But I can't walk away either Aurostibite. So you can accept me, and we can try, and we can do this? Or you can fight, and ignore me and pretend that we don't exist but in a fantasy." And she would cry and hurt and cry more. "I will never ask something of you, more then what you will give me."
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Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 10:18 pm
He knew that she wouldn't fight it because somewhere in his heart he knew her, even if it wasn't the way he thought he did. Mintaka was a virtual stranger without the added shared memories; but if he thought he could just easily shove them aside and pretend they didn't exist, he'd been very, very wrong.
The ache for her was almost palpable. Aurostibite resisted it as much as he could, but it became increasingly more difficult when she stepped closer, her fingers gentle against his shoulder. He jerked against her touch; an involuntary reaction, his flushing, and for a moment he seemed stiff and awkward, almost terrified of the young woman who stood in front of him.
What was she asking? What was she saying?
Why was this so painful?
Aurostibite lifted a hand, closing his gloved fingers over Mintaka's. For a moment it seemed as though he was just going to prise her away from him, his resolve wavering - and then he brought her hand to his lips, pressing a light kiss to her the back of it.
He let go after that and it was hard, too hard. Aurostibite took a step backwards, inhaling sharply.
"I..." he said roughly. "I..."
There was a long pause. He closed his eyes, and every emotion he was holding back seemed to press in on him, almost suffocating him, burying him in their depths. It was not exactly unpleasant - at least not all of it - but he felt overwhelmed.
"...all right," Aurostibite said quietly. "I will not run away from you. I am not saying that what I felt for you in that dream will be the end," he added, with a look in her direction. "No one knows their futures. But I am...willing to...at least not be unkind and run away from you."
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Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 10:36 pm
She had hoped and hoped in that moment, harder then she had ever thought she could hope before. That he wouldn't turn away from her, that he wouldn't fight her. That he would accept whatever the hell it was that was between them. That they could make something from virtually nothing, and from 5 years of everything.
If his heart ached, hers yearned and reached and waited, like she did with her breathing, like she tensed with her body. She was touching him, and he wasn't turning away. She was looking at him, and he was looking at her.
And when he took her hand, her mind pinpointed that moment, and with such clarity and trepidition, she waited.
His kiss startled her, made her tingle, made her heart kick start into gear. She couldn't even stop the bright gleaming smile from appearing, it took all she was not to throw her arms around him. To press. But she refrained, for him and for her ladylike reputation.
She wanted to entangle her hand with his, but he let go and she was standing there in silence, smiling at him.
"Thank goodness." She finally said, closing her eyes but it was hard not to hide the joy from her body, the immense feeling of relief and underneath it all, fear that she might mess up, might ruin it. But she had time now to learn about him, about everything.
"No. No one knows the future and not every stone set in it's path, but....It's nice to have the road at least paved for us, we can set the stones slowly." She let her hands play with her fuku. "And I am more beyond please that you are giving me a chance Aurostibite, whether it be a friend or more." She breathed out, "Gosh, I've been so strung up, now I feel all giddy, I hope you don't mind my indulgence in my smile tonight."
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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 3:35 pm
He simultaneously was disgusted with himself for allowing this to continue and also immensely relieved that he was not walking away from her. Whether or not it would lead to the same future as before made no difference; whether or not his feelings towards her would be what they had been in their shared memories was unknowable, but whatever the case, he knew he could not leave her.
They were a part of each other now, whether he wanted to admit it or not.
Letting go of her hand was very difficult. Even now his fingers twitched, desperate to return to hers, to interlace together and feel the warmth of her palm against his own; but Aurostibite tucked his into his pocket to hide the way they trembled, standing there staring at her.
Mintaka's expression was almost blinding with its radiance. He wanted to drink it greedily in and remember it later, hold it close to him and let it surround him. He wanted to walk away and to let her go back to her side because someone like her did not belong here. He wanted to gather her against his chest and bask in her warmth.
He wanted a great many things that could not be achieved.
"...I don't mind," he said quietly, and then he took a small step back, ducking his head away from her, a dull red flush appearing across his cheeks as he said softly, "Your smile is very beautiful."
And then, as though gathering himself together, Aurostibite dipped over in a low bow, his eyes determinedly on the ground.
"I must take my leave for tonight," he said, and took a sharp breath as he straightened. His eyes strayed to hers briefly, and there was a strange expression of vulnerability on his face, a nervous flicker across his eyes.
"I..." A pause. "I will hope to see you again sooner, rather than later."
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Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 4:40 pm
The compliment would be rewarded with a equal dash of red on her cheeks, spreading just a little to her ears. Her smile and eyes softened and showed the immense warmth and joy from just the little comment itself.
She was by no means humble, but she pretended to be, and she was trying hard to be modest for the sake of this.
"That's good, perhaps, I will show you this smile more often then not?" She laughed just a little, lacing her fingers together. "And Thank you, though, I feel you have a little more charm to yours, when you allow it."
And she nodded, even as her eyes met his after his bow, and she saw the raw Aurostibite underneath. She wanted desperately to reach out and touch again, brush the bangs from his face, tip his hat up and ask him if there was something more, but it was gone, and he moving to leave.
"I hope so too." She let the smile come back, cocking her head. "Till then, be safe." She waited till he left, then dropped from her rooftop and switched back to Failyn.
And more quietly, she placed a hand over her heart and squeezed the skin, her face completely red. Now that the rush and giddiness was over, it left her flushed and dizzy and light headed. Oh dear, what had she gotten herself into.
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