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 Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 10:01 am
It was Axel's absolute assurance that pickled beets would work fine as a sugar substitute that made Henrik finally give in. He reached for a pan, dropped it, picked it up, dropped it again, cursed loudly and finally slammed it on the countertop.
He also grabbed a bowl, and immediately dumped some flour into it. Some flour. He didn't really measure. Just eyeballed it. Of course, it was completely dark, so his eyeballed measurements were probably more than a little off.
Whatever.
"Where are the eggs?"
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 10:39 am
Setting the pickled beets on the counter by Henrik, Axel went a'rummaging.
He did not find any fresh eggs, but he did find a good stash of boiled ones in a cool earthenware pot.
Axel handed the pot to Henrik.
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 11:02 am
"Axel. I am not going to put hard boiled eggs in the cake. There has to be fresh eggs around some where. I do not know much of baking, but even I know that you need uncooked eggs in a cake."
Henrik frowned.
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 11:04 am
"I can't find them," Axel grumbled. "You look, I'll start rinsing beets."
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 11:06 am
With a groan, Henrik started digging around for eggs. He found a small basket of them, dropped two on the floor and crushed another under his thumb as he picked up the basket. The two on the floor were given a baleful look. He'd deal with them later.
Henrik picked up... what, three eggs? No, more. Six. Six was a good, strong number. They were cracked messily into the bowl, but he did his best to keep the shells out.
His best would not be good enough.
"Why are we up in the middle of the night making pickled beet cake," Henrik grumbled under his breath.
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 11:11 am
Axel found a spatula and used it to smash up the rinsed beets. They squished easily into a pulpy red paste.
"I thought you wanted a cake," he said.
Squish, squash, squoosh.
"Actually, I guess I don't have a reason," he said. "I was just bored."
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 12:10 pm
"I do want cake. I always want cake. I just cannot see a damn thing, and I do not have a recipe for cake, and recipes are important for baking, Axel."
Henrik watched Axel smash the beets up. He'd finished with the eggs, was currently stirring the goopy mixture with a big wooden spoon.
"Next time you are bored," Henrik chided gently, "you should do some push ups. Or jumping jacks. Not bake a cake."
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 12:17 pm
The beets were mashed into a nicely uniform mess. Axel brought the bowl o' beets over to Henrik.
"Somebody had to invent recipes in the first place," he argued. "Someone had to be the first to bake a cake. And here we are ... inventors of the beet cake."
He considered push ups.
"We can do push ups while this cake bakes," Axel said, with the air of a parent offering a trip to Disney World to a small child.
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 12:40 pm
Henrik was still not quite feeling himself. He'd been through great grief - but he could appreciate how Axel was trying to be a good, true friend, just for him.
"I bet that I could do more push ups than you could," Henrik challenged, sliding the mixed bowl of goop towards Axel so that he could add the beets.
"Faster, too."
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 12:51 pm
Axel mixed in the beets with difficulty. The egg-flour goop had the consistency of cement.
"I could do more pushups than you with one hand," Axel said, giving Henrik a challenging look over the bowl of pink glop. "Help me scrape this into a pan and you're on."
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 1:02 pm
Henrik immediately scraped the pink s**t into the pan (without greasing it or providing any sort of anti-stick lubrication that might ease... whatever came out of the cake pan out of the cake pan. It really didn't even cross his mind. Henrik was way too focused on whupping Axel's a** in the impending pushup contest.
Once the crap was in the pan, Henrik waited for Axel to set it to baking.
"If there was such a thing as no-hand push-ups, I could beat you with my eyes shut, and also no hands."
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 1:59 pm
Axel turned on the oven with a technological handwave and slid the pan in.
Everyone was going to be so grateful for their glorious beetcake discovery. He could hardly wait.
And speaking of waiting, it was high time they got to pushupping. Without another word he dropped to the floor and started.
One. Two. Three.
He was a pushup machine.
Seven. Eight. Nine.
Unstoppable.
Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen.
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2014 8:25 am
Henrik dropped to the floor the instant that Axel did, and matched him pushup for pushup. Sweat beaded on his brow, but he didn't stop.
Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty.
"How long does the cake cook for?"
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2014 8:28 am
Twenty three. Twenty four.
"Till it."
Twenty five.
"Smells done."
Twenty six.
"Or burnt."
Twenty seven.
Axel was getting winded.
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2014 8:53 am
Henrik was growing winded, as well, but he was determined not to show it.
"You better."
Thirty.
"Check it."
Thirty one.
He collapsed to the floor. He was feeling the burn.
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