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 Posted: Mon May 05, 2014 8:10 pm
Not much in this world shocked Earthmother. But Vanya's words shocked her. She felt embarrassed that all this time she knew of the connection she had with the past Seer; with Vanya even. She always assumed she'd be the one to tell Vanya. Or take the secret to her grave. Considering the circumstances, she was a loss for how to even approach the situation. It wasn't the time to offer up explanations that would only confuse things. And make Takis even more uncomfortable. It would all be discussed later, she was sure. Especially since Vanya knew, and just made it known.
"What do you mean, 'what had happened'? What did you see?" Vanya's terror told Em that it was something bad, could it be worse than Thalas' death? She figured he died on the battlefield like the rest of the Faun, but was there more to it? Vanya's been able to handle death. But maybe her own was traumatic as it was for the Water Court's experiences. She knew very little of the details of Thalas' demise, and she tried to not think of it over the years. When Vanya awoke as the Seer, a lot of the painful and sad memories had vanished, because she knew Thalas was in a good place, where he needed to be. Even if not as her mate, she was glad to know he was okay finally.
"Vanya, dear. We really need to discuss what happened and what you saw," she took a look to Takis, who looked a little lost with his thoughts, his emotions too. She was sure this was hard on him, but he'd heal a lot faster than Vanya. Earthmother was afraid for the Seer, and afraid that what she saw could leave lasting scars. Dallying in the spirit world, in the past, in one's own tragic history never yields positive results. "But I think you should rest."
She had changed her mind about forcing the information out while it was fresh. Vanya saw things she wasn't intended to see. Em was sure of it now. She was afraid of the permanent damage to Vanya's psyche, but also because a piece of her was afraid of what Vanya saw. If she saw Thalas' last moments, Em was uncertain if she'd want to know them. She couldn't hang on to the thought that he died without pain, or passed from this mortal plain without tasting death if she knew the truth. It was unlikely, but it was thoughts that had helped her get through the long, lonely days in isolation. It was those thoughts she used to teach Rais when he was young, about what a hero his father was, and how remarkable. And that he was so magnificent and honorable, the spirits wouldn't let him taste death or feel pain. She'd tell Rais his father would come back, some day, and be the hero he once was. Rais grew up to know his father, through his mother's stories, but at the same, he may never really know the truth.
What did Vanya learn?
"Takis, take care of her. Be delicate and remind her of those things that make her happy. Help her to mediate often. We'll need to have a talk sooner rather than later about what she learned. Stop by my nook for some herbal tea that helps ease anxiety to help you both. Vanya, I don't want you shouldering the burden alone, young lady." She pointedly looked in Vanya's eyes. Vanya wasn't known for bottling things up, where Earthmother was concerned at least, but Vanya did try to protect others' feelings.
"When you are ready -- and it better not be avoided -- speak with me in the ritual room. Only you, I and Laisidhiel need to know what happened. And I will take every precaution to ensure that you don't relive or feel that terror ever again. So don't be afraid." She spoke with a stern tone, looking at the pair of fauns as a mother would, to assert her dominant position and reinforce that she wasn't suggesting anything, but demanding it.
Earthmother could put Vanya in a trance to extract the information and she'd never even know it. It wasn't exactly something Em endorsed, because it was a violation of personal agency, but she didn't want Vanya to relive the pain, but she also needed the information; painful for her or not. The memories are now in Vanya's mind, not just hidden in sleeping parts of her spirit, so finally, Em could learn what she'd feared most all these centuries.
She was terrified. But Vanya shouldn't take this on alone.
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Posted: Mon May 05, 2014 8:54 pm
What had she seen? What had happened? What had happened was that she had foolishly sought out her past life's death, despite knowing the danger. Despite learning that she had been protected from something horrible. Despite the instinct that had told her that this had been a bad idea from the start.
Not that she could say that, not now. And what could she say? Even if she could find the words? She had no idea how to relate what she had seen and it was with obvious relief that she realized that the Earthmother had seemed to change her mind about forcing the truth out of her now.
If only that could be indefinite.
Perhaps...on some level, she did know. At least enough that even she wasn't ready to push Vanya for answers just yet. Vanya relaxed somewhat, weariness settling onto her frame instead. She was too tired to be afraid any more, at least for the moment. Too exhausted, weary in mind, body, and spirit. Rest sounded like a good idea...
Even if she couldn't see it, she could feel the Earthmother's stare that accompanied her orders. Yes, orders. There was no question...she was going to learn what Vanya had learned. She didn't have a choice in the matter. What was her choice? Refuse? Hide? Run away? Not very realistic choices to be honest. As much as she didn't want to, she felt that one way or another, the Elder fauness was going to demand answers for the secrets she now held.
She had seen it in Vanya; the terror. It had been as plain as day when she'd awoken, screaming. She knew it. But it wasn't just that terror that had her shaking...not just the terror of the horrible things she experienced, but the fear that gripped her now was related to passing that knowledge on to the Earthmother. The knowledge of how her soulmate had passed from this life.
Perhaps she had seemed a bit out of it; they might have dismissed it as exhaustion, which would have been true enough. Before the Earthmother moved away, however, Vanya's hand shot out to grip her arm. She wasn't sure why she said it, nor where the words came from or why she felt compelled to say them at that moment. She was barely aware of the tears gathering in her eyes as she turned towards the Earthmother and simply said: "He was a hero. Be proud...and never forget that."
Afterwards, she seemed to blink and shake her head slightly before withdrawing her hand from the Earthmother's arm. "I...I'm sorry. I...think I need a rest..."
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Posted: Tue May 20, 2014 7:28 pm
Takis began to stand up from the bed to show Earthmother out. He is loath to leave Vanya's side, even for a moment, but the burden of care was on him now. Earthmother had done her part, and what a wonderful thing she'd done, bringing Vanya back to life like she had, but now it's his turn. It's his job to put down roots for the both of them, to make sure Vanya has everything she needs to begin to heal, and to be her safe base like he always had. Everything had changed for them in just a few moments, but that didn't mean he would let it change their future, or let it change them.
He jumped, startled, when Vanya suddenly grabbed Earthmother's arm to say something else to her. Who was a hero? He who? What had she seen? Takis was not a curious Pae, and, unlike his mate, had no interest in searching for things he did not want to know the answer to. But he sensed an odd connection between Vanya and Earthmother, something new but somehow...ancient. His cheeks flushed with a jealousy he couldn't quite explain. Pull it together, he chides himself, Now is not the time or place.
Rest, yes. Rest. He could help with that. Takis moved to the door and made a little gesture of respect for Earthmother. "Thank you for all you've done today, Earthmother" he says. "I can't express my gratitude enough."
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Posted: Sat May 31, 2014 7:03 pm
Ignoring Takis' insistence to leave - this is the Faun's Earthmother, she'll leave when her purpose is served - she wanted to know more. Her heart did. Vanya knew something and while Em knew the girl needed rest - which is what Takis was trying to force - Em's curiosity was at all all time. Her emotions were running hot, because of names and circumstances she'd not had to think of in years. She'd never forget, but she put the memories and hurt aside so she could live her life to serve the Faun, not dwell on her losses.
But when Vanya snatched her arm, she felt the jolt and glared at the spot where the connection was made for only a moment.
"He was a hero..." Em knew this. But it didn't stop the dam of emotion from bursting. Her eyes started swelling up, full of tears, and she tried to prevent any from falling. But just one glance at the young faunness in front of her shattered any and all defenses she had left. Earthmother cried. She knew now. Something else happened. Thalas didn't die in battle. She wiped a tear away on the back of her hand. This was something Vanya and her needed to talk about. Even if she wasn't sure she wanted to know, she knew she needed to.
She put a gentle hand on top of Vanya's before she pulled it away. Earthmother remained in a moment of vulnerability. Takis' gesture, while polite, upset her even more. How dare he? She felt her authority being challenged and her hackles raised. This was a moment dealing with their past, with unearthed truths and her family. How dare this stranger to their blood usher her away from her ... family.
But Vanya wasn't a part of her family. She was only family as much as Takis was.
It startled Em how hard this was, how much of a punch to the gut it felt. The proud, strong and immovable matriarch to the entire faun tribe suddenly felt week, powerless and out of control of her own emotions. "You ... you're right Takis. I should go."
The powerful faun exited the small apartment with her ears drooped and tail between legs, feeling lost. This was too much for even her to hide behind a positive mask. She was going to meditate and attempt her own communication with the spirits for guidance and wisdom. For the strength to rebuild herself and not hold grudges against those who stand in her way. This was a flaw in her character she'd kept hidden for centuries. But it had been easy until now.
She planned to snag Vanya for a little private chat after the next Circle meeting.
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Posted: Sat May 31, 2014 9:15 pm
The jolt had not gone unnoticed, though Vanya wasn't entirely sure what to make of it. It was more jarring to note the change in Earthmother. Vanya was honestly torn...she was not in any condition to relate to her what she had learned, what she had experienced. Yet, she hated to leave her in such a condition...she had already admitted too much and she knew it. There would be no letting this go, not indefinitely. And while she hated to leave Emalyn with the knowledge that she knew something horrible, but not what...she simply was not ready to divulge what she'd learned. In a rare moment of selfishness, she made the decision to let her mate take the lead, in favor of taking care of herself for the moment.
Still, she could not be so cold-hearted. Before Earthmother left, still blinking back tears, she offered, "...later. I promise."
Nope, no getting out of this.
Hearing the light sound of the elder fauness' hooves retreating, the young Seer slumped forward, head hanging with guilt as much as the weight of the knowledge she'd acquired.
*********
Vanya wished she could have retreated, withdrawn from public for an indeterminate amount of time to deal with the gravity of this new knowledge. No such luxury could be afforded to one of her stature. She had only a couple of days before the Circle met. A routine gathering in which they shared any news or points of interest, discussed common concerns for the community, and the like.
The Seer was noticeably less vocal than usual, offering little news or concerns on the part of any of those she advised. Honestly, she'd seen no one except her mate in the last couple of days since the incident. Anything had had happened immediately before had been dwarfed by the trauma; likely she was forgetting some concern some poor soul had wished her to raise. She just wanted to finish business then get back to her room.
She'd made no mention of her foolish stunt when they had been addressing recent happenings. Vanya was well aware that this was the first time she'd been out of her room since then, that even though she'd promised, she had yet to speak to Earthmother about what she'd seen. She wasn't ready. Then again, she wasn't sure she'd ever be ready. She was tired, even her appearance seeming off to those who knew her well enough. She'd not slept well since then either...the nightmares...nightmares unlike those she'd ever had before. She'd learned to live with nightmares before, but these...she was back in that tent...evil Pae laughing...the pain...
With a shudder, she realized the meeting was wrapping up. With no further business to discuss, the Chieftain dismissed them to return to their duties and Vanya was quick to return to her hooves rather than lingering as usual. Perhaps she could slip away, be back in her room before anyone else noticed...
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 1:27 pm
Earthmother had been a nervous wreck the last couple days, waiting for Vanya and mentally preparing for what she feared would be gruesome news. She knew Vanya could change her entire belief of what happened all those centuries ago. She knew everything could change. She had prayed so diligently to the spirits to provide comfort and have the information Vanya was to give not be terrible. But she knew it was. Vanya wouldn't have reacted so horrified if it wasn't.
Em lingered by the meeting room, waiting for Vanya. As she watched the dark-spotted girl light-hoof it out of the room, she called out for the Seer. "You have some time to talk, Vanya?" she said in a soft, gentle tone. She was eager to see how the poor girl fared, and hoped she'd not remained traumatized.
Despite her desperate need to know things, Vanya's well-being was first and foremost the main concern on her mind.
Em held in her hands a little tea tray with a teakettle, two little cups, and a few sprigs of local herbs. There may have also been a candle and small reagent bag there too, but Vanya wouldn't see those.
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 1:49 pm
She really should have known better than to think she'd escape from a scheduled meeting; a meeting in a known location where she should be for an expected amount of time...
Couldn't hide forever.
Yet, still she froze, if for a split-second, at the sound of the soft, feminine voice beyond the door. It was only a moment before she forced herself to release the tension from her form and reply. Ignoring the churning in her stomach, she managed to answer in a deceptively calm tone, "...of course I do."
Even if she wished she didn't. The excuses wouldn't come, however, and deep down, as much as she knew it would hurt...both of them, to cover the events she'd witnessed...Vanya had to come to terms with the fact that her selfishness was leaving Emalyn in suspense, knowing something terrible had occurred...but not what.
Was it truly selfishness? Or mercy? She was trying to keep the knowledge to herself, because she knew it was going to hurt Emalyn. Though, she knew she couldn't do that indefinitely. No, the mind was a horrible thing if allowed to run free...
Only a hint of strain showing in her expression, she turned while gripping her staff tighter than necessary. "Err...could we...go somewhere more private then?" She swallowed hard, trying to brace herself for what was to come, however it played out.
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Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 8:43 pm
The Earthmother smiled gently, even if Vanya wouldn't see it. "Let's go visit the sanctuary." She led the two of them to the secret door and held it open for the Seer. "I think this should be private enough."
The room was not far from the Circle's meeting chambers, and it provided not only the privacy they needed, but also the serenity their hearts and minds would require for such an emotionally draining discussion.
Earthmother knelt beside the little pool, setting the small tea tray down in front of her. "How have you been the last couple days?"
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Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 9:10 pm
The sanctuary. Even as distraught as she was already, just the act of entering the sacred place seemed as if a gentle breeze blew some of the weight from Vanya's shoulders. At least for a brief respite.
The soft tap of hooves followed by the clink of the tray being set on the floor caused her ear to flick forward towards the sound. She knew this space well...almost well enough to picture it all in her mind still. Where she stood, where the Earthmother now sat, the little pool beneath the sapling...
She moved to join the elder fauness, though dread made her hooves heavy. Already, a simple enough question...and she feared how to answer. She balked at answering honestly...it would only raise more worry from the other if she told how poorly she had been fairing. Yet, she had never been a very good liar either. "Oh...alright," she answered unconvincingly, taking a seat in what she hoped seemed a casual manner...though she fidgeted with the hem of her skirt once seated. Maybe if she pretended to be distracted by another thought...
"I...I did want to apologize again," she explained, head bowed, "for...putting you both through that. I...what I did was stupid. I should have known better, but...I was being stubborn and...ultimately foolish," she finished with a shake of her head.
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Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 9:55 pm
Em added the herb sprigs to the hot water in the teakettle to let them steep. And to let the subtle aroma fill the air between the two fauns. "Vanya, dear, you wouldn't be you if you weren't head-strong and curious." she chuckled lightly and watched Vanya. She wondered sometimes if the seer was aware of just how much of her body language and expressions gave away.
"Have you had a chance to rest yourself? Body, mind and spirit? I'd like to help, if you'll let me." Em poured a small amount of the tea into a little teacup and held it out, gently guiding Vanya's hand to the handle.
"The last few days have been hard on us, but once everything is resolved, our minds and souls can achieve peace. I know what you saw was traumatic, and it took quite a toll on your body. Drink up, that tea will help." It was just a simple brew that should help revitalize. Nothing drastic; a warm bath would have the same effect.
"I'd like to offer you the chance to ask me questions first. Nothing is off limits. I know you've learned more about us than anyone could ever imagine, but I am also sure some of it may be confusing or might not make sense."
Em was keeping herself collected, despite creeping fear and despair poking at her from every angle.
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Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 10:25 pm
Sighing softly, Vanya wasn't able to let the matter rest so easily. "If I hadn't been so stubborn...but I just...couldn't let it go. I had to know the truth..." She stopped herself, unwilling to proceed just yet with the re-telling. She was relieved to be offered a way out, if only to stall a bit longer.
"I've...slept better," she admitted honestly, accepting the cup of tea. After a moment, she lifted it, feeling the steam warm her face, the pleasant aroma wafting towards her nose. Oh, if only tea could solve what really troubled her. Still...she wouldn't pass up a nice cup, even if she felt there was only so much it could do for her.
She was being offered complete freedom for questions. And with all that she had seen and learned in...had it really only been a few days?...she was unsure where to even start. She had known previously that Earthmother and the previous Seer had been involved with one another thanks to a previous vision belonging to another. This had been the first time she'd experienced the knowledge presented firsthand. As well as the realization that the pride the former Seer had felt, hearing Arda's charge on the battlefield...had not been that of a Brother of arms...but the pride of a father. Soon followed by the knowledge of the tiny spark of life within the Earthmother in her vision...or she supposed 'Emalyn' was a more appropriate name now. That stood to reason, if one considered the implications... Could she ask about that? Should she?
She had spent far longer than a few hours inside Thalas' head. For her, it had been long days and nights, stretching into weeks, perhaps further. She'd been inside his thoughts, experienced his fears, his pain, and his triumphs. In that time, she'd gotten to know him quite well under adversity.
Having seemed to consider the cup of tea in her hands for some time now, she finally moved to respond. "...tell me...what he was like. When you two were together, I mean. The good times. I....I haven't seen any of that, but...I got the feeling at least..."
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 10:35 pm
Emalyn relaxed a little as she took a sip of her own tea. She let out a slow breath, considering what Vanya had asked of her. Of all the things the Seer could have possibly learned. It was a relief really, to not have to answer the hard questions first. Thank goodness for small miracles.
She smiled, and her cheeks warmed as the memories slowly returned. She giggled softly as she reminisced, momentarily letting herself get caught up in the day dreams. It was easy to get lost in those dreams sometimes. "He ... was my world. To others, he came off as mysterious, sometimes frightening. But he was the most gentle faun. When Arda blessed our lives, you wouldn't have been able to find a more proud papa in all the world. It was an important event for our tribe when Arda was born because he was the first among us born -- not hatched of the Tree -- but for Thalas, he had a son. A living, breathing little version of himself."
She could go on about the relationship between Thalas and Arda, but that wasn't what Vanya asked specifically. Em hesitated, because her most cherished memories - those of her intimate relationship with the Seer of the past, were memories she had shared with no one.
She chuckled a little bit, and took another sip of her tea. "Thalas was loving and gentle. Sometimes when I lie awake at night, and the breeze comes in from my little window, it reminds me of his gentle touch and the way he used to brush his fingertips ever-so lightly across my fur." She poured a little more tea into her cup and topped Vanya's off as well before continuing on. "At meal time, he'd save his hazelnuts telling me he was 'saving the best for last' and then let me steal them off his plate because he knew how much I loved them. And when he was away with the Circle, he'd never return without a satchel of potpouri made from the flowers and spices he'd collected from the distant corners of Old Telrunya."
"He had a way with words, with me. He knew exactly what to whisper into our pillow to make me ... melt. Needless to say, we never fell asleep angry." Always woke up giddy and glowing.
She could speak of Thalas for days, years even, if given the chance. And she may have gotten a little caught up on the fun and positive memories before she realized that wasn't the point of their meeting this afternoon. "My turn to ask you a question, now. You've learned a great deal about me, Thalas, and us. How do you feel about what you've learned?" This was a loaded question, Em knew, but she wanted to figure out where Vanya stood on learning of the interconnecting relationships. She always wanted to know exactly how much the modern Seer knew of the past.
She'd save the harder questions for last. She had to prepare her heart a little more first.
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 9:04 pm
Vanya sipped her tea graciously as the other began her story, a soft smile making its way to her face as the elder seemed to be swept up in her own memories. Perhaps they were each equally as grateful to have something more pleasant to discuss first. The tone of Emalyn's voice seemed to grow more youthful as she spoke, relating details of the one so near and dear to her heart, that it sounded as if she were relating events from only a few moons past.
Despite the glowing praise of his former soulmate, Vanya couldn't help but notice something. Mysterious? Sometimes frightening? She wondered silently whether the Faun of this age thought similar things of her. How true would it be if they did? Was this to be her life now? Continuously comparing herself, attempting to measure up to someone she once was in a whole other life?
The shift in tone was suitable to distract her from her selfish thoughts. She had asked for personal details about the two of them, but perhaps Vanya hadn't expected tidbits quite so intimate. She could feel warmth gathering beneath the fur of her cheeks and hurriedly hid her face in her cup of tea as discretely as possible. This was just one more example of how she wasn't sure how to feel about things anymore...was this...a woman sharing stories with a friend...or reminiscing with an old lover, while another eavesdropped on the whole conversation? She felt....somewhat voyeuristic, considering the details shared...and yet, what if this had been what the visions had chosen to show her instead at some point? Would it be a memory or like watching from afar; things one shouldn't seek out as they should remain private to only those involved?
Then again, considering what she'd seen of others' past love lives...
Clearly she was cursed to forever have too much knowledge and the spirits were entertained by this.
Still a bit flustered, the Seer seemed to focus her attention on her tea while considering the Earthmother's question. How did she feel about all this? Well, she supposed that was easy enough, considering her earlier thoughts. With a soft, humorless chuckle, she lowered her cup, shaking her head. "Honestly? Confused." She paused, then chuckled again, a bit of real humor touching the sound this time. "It's just...I'd grown used to the idea of a past life, I thought. It seemed...simple enough, I suppose. To know that my soul had once been another's...long ago. It took some time to try and accept that some great hero's soul could now belong to me, but..." she shrugged. "I thought I'd come to terms with the idea. Then, when everything started becoming more...real...the visions and the revelations....it seemed only more surreal instead. I...didn't predict...I never imagined the connections I'd discover, connections to those still here today..."
Self-consciously, her ears flicked low and back, nearly hiding out of sight within her hair. "I knew there was something...I didn't know to what extent, but something between you and the past Seer from a sign given in another's vision. I...wasn't sure if it was a trick of the spirits or truth...I wasn't sure what to do with the knowledge. I apologize if...if I ever acted strangely. I wasn't seeking more information, but...I suppose it was a given as the truth. When I went seeking a different truth, that I'd find that as well, given the circumstances."
Swallowing nervously, she realized that the anxiety had started to build and rise once more. It was as if she knew the conversation was coming, and though she'd hoped this would make things better, now she wasn't sure if it was going to better or worse. She reached for one of Emalyn's hands with a sigh. A mild jolt at the contact, then it was gone, though she kept hold of her hand in hers. "I didn't need to be inside his head to see how much he loved you. He obviously cared for you dearly, in thought, in word, and in action. I'd just thought...it meant something to hear that come from you as well. Thank you." She'd had little time to see the past Seer's feelings displayed...and what there was had been under great danger and tragic circumstances. She'd wanted to hear something of the happier times first, to know that something much greater had come before. That the love she'd seen had been shared in peace as well as in war.
"I suppose...it's just strange to think. I mean...with those today who are connected. Yourself. The Chieftain. Am I....still just Vanya? Or am I Thalas? Or instead, some...shadow that once was Thalas?"
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 10:10 pm
Em gave Vanya's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Its natural to feel confused. I imagine there would be something wrong with you, if you weren't. You not only have a lifetime ahead of you, but you have a lifetime behind you. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like. I haven't experience that crossover and rebirth as You, Rais, and the rest of the Circle have."
She considered Vanya's heartfelt plea for a moment. This must be so difficult for her to try and understand. She still so new to the role and responsibility. And the situation is so complex, its hard for any pae to understand in their mortal form the grand scheme of the universe. But of all of the Faun, Vanya was the most qualified and equipped to do so.
"Vanya. You are you. You were born Vanya, and this is your life. You possess the spirit and passion of a great hero, but you aren't him. You are young still, and have so much life and learning ahead of you. This is your path, and your decisions, and your future. Thalas had his chance. He's only there to help you learn." Em wiped a stray tear from her cheek. This felt like she was saying goodbye. As badly as she wanted Thalas back, she knew he wasn't. Even if the little things about Vanya reminded her so much of her beloved. That earflick she does. It was adorable when Thalas did it too.
Vanya's candid explanations helped Emalyn realize something. She'd been behaving too familiar with Vanya, because of her connection with Thalas. She needed to start the disconnect before it got too late. "You bare a connection to Thalas, that can't be broken, nor ignored. Thalas made important connections in his life, and those same connections will be made in your life. Old spirits have a way of finding each other. But as this is your life, you'll be making new connections. Each life that we have, has a new purpose. To learn and grow until we're so full of knowledge and experience, that we're ready for exaltation - ready to go home. Vanya. Don't ever forget that this is your life. No one else's. I'm sorry if I forgot that distinction sometimes. It's just that ... you ... you remind me of my Thalas and I felt a special kinship with you."
Emalyn didn't expect to say that. She sealed her lips shut, watching Vanya closely for reactions and body language. She valued her friendship with the Seer. She didn't even realize she might have been abusing her knowledge of the past to keep Vanya close. "We share a spiritual connection, nothing more."
Em finished her tea and didn't refill the cup, instead she lit one of the incense sticks she'd brought with her, filling the room with a pleasant, calming aroma. She chose something subtle, because she didn't want Vanya to think she was trying to manipulate her into sharing things she wasn't ready to share. "It's just a little lavender, to help with my nerves."
"Vanya, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. But I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I didn't at least ask what happened in your vision? What ... happened to Thalas?"
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Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 12:16 am
She had once been Thalas. She would have the benefit of his wisdom to guide her, if he would share it. Yet...she was Vanya now, nothing more, nothing less than she'd been before all this. It was simultaneously reassuring...and frightening to know that her future was under her own control, a result of her own actions and nothing more. It would be so much easier not to make choices...yet, what if she was unhappy with where that led? If her path was her own, she'd have no one else to blame but herself for the results.
Reassuring and frightening.
She unknowingly responded to Emalyn's admission with the very same gesture the elder had noted privately. Ear twitching and flicking forward in interest, Vanya frowned in reply. She...felt a special kinship with the Seer? And this was....a bad thing? Sure, when she'd discovered the link between her past life and the Earthmother, Vanya had felt...more than a little awkward speaking to her immediately afterward. She had been constantly wondering if the other knew, what she thought, what this was supposed to mean...if anything?
Perhaps that wasn't exactly what she meant. Perhaps...she felt that she'd confused the Seer by her actions. She had just reminded her not to forget that this was her life and hers alone. No one else's. Did she feel like she'd influenced the Seer in some way? By being a mentor to her? Aiding her in learning her duties? Perhaps taking a bit more of a personal interest than if there had been no connection, yes, but...had that been such a bad thing?
After a moment, she shook her head and said, "No. We share more than that, at least...I hope we do. You've been my mentor...my guide in helping me learn how to take on this role. A role...that at the beginning I wondered if I could bear. I know I've come a long way from that point...and that I have a long way to go yet. But...if it's not too bold, I'd hope that more than just a mentor...that we shared a friendship. One developed solely in this life," she added pointedly with a tilt of her head.
Her sharp hearing noted the lighting of the incense she hadn't noticed before, and soon the calming scent of lavender began to waft through the area. She thought little of it, as it was a common enough scent to use for relaxation and calm. She was rather personally fond of it, in fact.
It sounded like she was about to need it.
"It would be cruel of me to delay further," she admitted, ears drooping in shame as she 'stared' at the floor between them. "Perhaps I shouldn't have waited...maybe only one of us would have been missing sleep..." She sighed softly, clenching her fists in her lap. "I was troubled by the meeting with the Naiad. And what you said about seeing the end of one's past life. I thought I had already seen mine before, so...I inquired with the spirits." Again, her fingers found the edge of her skirt and began fiddling with the hem. "What I'd seen before wasn't the truth, I discovered. I was told...that I wasn't the only one being protected...that I may not learn anything that would make it worth the risk...or the price...but I had to know. And I'm sorry," she trailed off, quietly.
It took her a moment to gather her thoughts again. This wasn't even the worst part...she could make it through this...but it was going to get harder and harder as she continued. Already, her mind was racing for ways to try to soften the blow...maybe details she could omit...
"I saw the final battle again. But...from his view this time. I saw things as he saw them. His thoughts, his memories...they were shared with me this time. It was different than it had ever been before. I could see the entire battle as he saw it. I felt his pride...first in his son, Arda...then in you, as Laisidhiel rose into the sky like a shining beacon," she related, no small note of wonder in her tone. "I could feel the determination as he shifted, declaring that no foe would reach the Tree." Her volume began to lower, her tone shifting to something more sombre. "I could feel the arrows, but still he fought on. It was a valiant effort...but there were just too many. Before he fell...he looked towards Laisidhiel, satisfied with his death because he knew that everyone inside was safe."
She hesitated. It could have ended there. By all rights, it should have ended there. Thalas had said so himself. It would save Emalyn so much pain to think it ended there. He would have wanted it that way.
Vanya was a horrible liar though.
Quietly, head down and face hidden by her hair, she finished, "He didn't fall though. He was captured."
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