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 Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 3:39 am
"I want you," Phoenix grinned, "...to be more than the kid in the cutie patootie costume that could heal, except all he can do is quests that involve wandering around and being mad at trees. I want you, to come have a real adventure with us. One with battles and dungeons and beating things and loot. I want lots of ******** loot." Her eyes were wide and glinting with a sort of manic greed. "I want to win."
The gryphon pointed at the mouse, claws out, "I want you...to join our guild." She paused and then added conversationally, "And yeah heal us, this isn't a charity you know."
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Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 3:44 am
"Because you're her b***h, clearly. So that means you both deserve it." k1ng rolled his eyes, revealing that he was likely no more than a teenager, if it wasn't incredibly obvious already.
k1ng stared at her, and gingerly got up from his seat, incredulous of the offer. It seemed genuine: to Phoenix's credit, he wasn't sure if she was capable of being anything but.
A moment of silence.
"Fine, I'll join your stupid ******** guild. What's it called. We have to change it if it is retarded. Also I'll heal you if I feel like it and as long as you're not stupid. Which I hope you're not. That'd be pretty ******** disappointing."
There were a lot of caveats.
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Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 3:48 am
"What's our?" asked Waxwing, too mild to sound truly suspicious. He wondered, vaguely inebriated, if it was possible to play footsie while wearing armored boots. Probably not. "Define our."
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Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 4:02 am
She tried not to be smug at either the you're her b***h or the agreement to join. "Well," Phoenix drawled, "you're in luck because we haven't named it yet. I'm thinking," she spread her hands as if to frame a vision of greatness, "Legends."
The caterpillar got a small, but very warm smile in return, "Means mine an yours." Obviously they were gonna make a guild together, and if, during her small jaunts around the game and tavern, she had been looking for and failing to find, a certain third party. Well. You can't have everything, and it was only a game for crissakes. "But what did I tell you about playing English teacher? Hm?"
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Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 4:24 pm
k1ng snorted at the caterpillar's protests, and jabbed a thumb in his direction. "Did you forget to fill this a*****e in on the details? And no, "Legend" is ******** stupid. Pick a different one."
He was going to get his way, whether Phoenix liked it or not. "You guys are the weirdest ******** couple."
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Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 6:29 pm
He'd been in the process of pointing at his throat to demonstrate that whatever this thing was he was wearing, it had no collar and thus there would be no tie, but he was derailed, and he grinned and Waxwing's grins were exactly like Taym's if Taym hadn't had a decade of nicotine yellow built up.
"Sometimes she's a trial, but we make it work," he said, carefully not looking at Phoenix when he said it. "Anyway: what stupid ******** name are you proposing instead exactly?"
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Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:01 pm
"Mmmhmmm," Phoenix nudged Slain under the table with a booted foot and let it go with that. "Legends is an awesome ******** name, but if you don't think you can live up to it, fine." Pursing her lips, the gryphon began to list off names, "Awesome People, Phoenix Squad, Better Than Yours, Booty Call, Lots of Loots, Sweet Booty, Booty Inspectors, We Want the....."
There was a very good chance she'd just keep going until interrupted.
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Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:06 pm
"I don't have any ideas," k1ng said, slowly, as if Waxwing was too slow to understand that k1ng's purpose here was to say yay or nay, not offer any ideas. Who did he look like, the guy that invented the lightbulb?
So, in time with Phoenix, k1ng replied to every name: "No, nope, nu'uh, ******** sucks, makes us sound like faggots, I don't want that, no, ******** you no."
Interrupting, Leslie hmmed. "Booty Call, out of all of those, is the only one sort of not s**t."
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 3:33 am
Waxwing the Longsuffering scrubbed at his eyelids with his thumbs. "Booty Call is awful. It's not even a good pun and not even a grade A piece of Am--Phoenix a** is enough to induce me into a threesome with him, which is what that name ********' implies." He hesitated. "Why are we doing pirate puns?" asked Taym, the perpetually-ignorant. "What about One Hit Plunder?" He paused, and he gazed into his empty glass and added fondly: "Heh."
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 3:46 am
Phoenix smiled at the rant, leaning over and fondly explaining to k1ng, "He's a bit hoity-toity about these things." To Slain, she commented, "Because if this isn't my sexy pirate dream, and where the hell do you even get threesome out of Booty Call anyway, this is gonna be my kick-a** pirate adventure, that's why." One Hit Plunder got another smile. Then a snicker. Then outright giggles.
Clearing her throat she asked, "Well maybe it could come down to divisions," she slid her eyes k1ng. "Which one are you in?"
Phoenix was hella subtle.
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 3:49 am
"You jerk off so much that you've gone blind?" k1ng asked, incredulous. "She's in full ******** movie get up. Even I've seen that s**t."
To Phoenix, all she got was a suspicious look. This time, he did clutch his tail, squinting. "You first, but I can probably guess that you're in Sun." He waved his free hand at her...at her everything.
"And a grand ******** no to that name, too."
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 3:54 am
"Well if you wanna be left out of her naming scheme that's on you," he said mildly. "What the ******** ever. Go with Booty Call, or fight it out, or whatever. I'll wait. I want some more of this." He made a move to get up and go cash in another memory. This had lasted longer than the kittens and even Taym was growing a little weary of the constant whimsy. There had not even been a croquet match.
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 4:01 am
"Wait," Phoenix stood up quickly and caught hold of Slain's cape. "We've got work to do, so quit ******** around." The playfulness had drained from her voice, they didn't need a repeat of earlier. Turning back to k1ng, she continued, "I was in Sun, yeah, but transferred to Moon. Do you live in the basement too?"
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 4:27 am
"I do. I'm in that cloudy one."
It could not be anything but Mist: what a responsible hunter, to forget his own division's name. Thus, it was far from surprising that he was also too ignorant to know the changes of other people's division. k1ng could barely think of any Suns, let alone recent transfers to Moons.
There was America, but--
Huh.
Actually. That fit with Taym's "Am-", too.
"America, I can't join your stupid guild till you pick a <******** name. Let's just do Booty Call and get it over with, princess dickweed over here said it was fine. Let's just do that, jesus, we're gonna be here all night otherwise."
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Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 4:34 am
He'd docilely let himself be yanked back by America, if a bit forlornly. He found himself gazing with distaste at the shorn sides of her head. "I don't like your hair here," he informed her, king temporarily forgotten. "I mean you're still objectively like, A grade, level ten, top tier, but, just--you have such great hair. You should have just ported it over directly."
Quoth Taym of the suspiciously-lofty hairline, and Waxwing of the attractively disheveled mop. He tried to lift his glass again, morose, and remembered it was empty and that at any second the pleasant haze would break.
"I shouldn't drink anyway. I should probably only drink things with little labels. Drink Me. And--oh hey," he said, brightening at the prospect of a thematically-appropriate crudity. "Let's call it Eat Me."
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